The Wolf’s Surrogate

by Layla Silver

  Which got me thinking, why was the woman beside me here? I tried making up her life story in my head. Maybe she was married to her high school sweetheart and had probably never been with anyone else other than him. They were now trying for a baby after three years of marriage, but it just wasn't working. A surrogate was the next option, maybe? I tilted my head as I studied her, but somehow my guess didn't fit.

  I should just mind my own business.

  The woman was shooting daggers at me. She clearly wanted to do nothing but get as far away from me as possible, and here I was, making up her life story. Whatever word there was for my behavior, I hoped my child wouldn't catch that too.

  I handed the receptionist my appointment card, and she checked in her computer before sending me off to a room on the second floor. I pushed the pretty lady from the parking lot to the back of my mind and took another deep breath before entering the room.

  My life was about to change.

  "Good day Mr. Rollett, right on time."

  I smiled and answered, "Always. May I take a seat?"

  "Of course."

  I sat down and looked at my doctor, an older woman, probably in her mid-fifties. Her graying hair was pulled back in a tight bun, and her frames were fashionable and looked really good on her. She had kind, gray eyes behind those frames, and I immediately felt at ease in her presence.

  "I'm Doctor Carlton, and I will be assisting you today. Do you have any questions about the overall procedure?"

  "No," I replied, shaking my head.

  If there was one thing I appreciated about this agency, it was their complete transparency on every single part of the process and their thoroughness. They answered questions before I had even begun to think of them, and there was no confusion on my part.

  "Or maybe about what you are going to do today?"

  The only thing I was going to do today was climax into a plastic cup, not something I had ever thought I'd be considering, but it was the easiest thing I could be asked to do.

  "At my age, I would hope not," I laughed, making her chuckle as well.

  "You would be surprised, Mr. Rollett."

  "Please, call me Julian. If you are going to be handling my child in a petri dish, you can call me by my first name."

  She smiled. "Ah, good sense of humor. I like that in a man. Makes this whole process less awkward."

  "Nothing can make this process less awkward, Dr. Carlton. Don't lie to me."

  She smiled and handed me a small, medical plastic cup in a clear and sealed plastic bag. There was a pale blue label with my name and case number on the side.

  "As you already know, there are no health risks involved in the next procedure. And should you have any difficulties completing the process, there are materials in the bathroom for you to use."

  I smirked. "Now you are just repeating all of this to embarrass me, Dr. Carlton."

  "You know what to do next; the private room is straight through that door."

  "See what I meant by awkward?" I laughed as I took the plastic bag from her. "Thank you."

  I stood and went to the bathroom, locking the door after myself. Not that anyone would come into the private bathroom, but it made me feel more alone. As if there wasn't a woman on the other side of the large office. Even though she was a doctor and was used to this kind of thing, I couldn't help but feel the slight awkwardness of the situation.

  The room was mostly white and gray, and it made me think of just how many children had been made in this room. The thought was ridiculous, of course, and it wasn't doing anything to calm me down or get me into the mood of producing my own. Neither were the magazines in a neat pile on top of the cupboard. I considered taking out my phone when a perfect image formed in my head.

  I felt myself harden when pretty green eyes appeared in my mind, along with several questions. Were they that green when she looked up at me? Had she felt the same adrenaline rush that I had? The kind of adrenaline rush I felt when I ran? The same hunger I sometimes got after a run? Not hunger for food, but the kind of want and need that was satisfied by a lover in a warm bed?

  I took myself in my hand as I imagined her green eyes darkening with pleasure, her pale skin flushed with ecstasy from head to toe. The way she would look as I played her body like my very own instrument, her pleasure mine for the taking. The way she would cry out my name for the encore where I would call her something else. Not her name, no.

  I would call her mine.

  I bit my lip as I groaned with pleasure, my left hand ready with the cup while my right did all the work. The image in my head was so vivid that I forgot for a second that I was alone in a clinic room. It didn't take me long to reach the height of my self-pleasure, and I found myself in a sort of bliss I had never felt before. It was like I was a teenager discovering the joys of what my body could do all over again.

  I put the lid on my cup and cleaned myself up.

  "Good luck out there," I said with a small smile as I looked at the small cup one more time before going back to Dr. Carlton.

  She took the sample from me and placed it on a tray next to her. Next, she took a blood sample from me, properly labelling everything while explaining every step. I really liked her; we had this easygoing connection. I could tell we were going to get along well, and if I was going to have someone take me through this whole process, I was glad it was Dr. Carlton.

  "There, we are done," she said as she logged in the last bit of information and gave me a smile. "I will keep you updated on the progress."

  "Thank you so much, Doctor."

  "My pleasure."

  I wanted to make a remark about how the pleasure had been all mine, literally. But it probably wouldn't be appropriate. And if I was going to be a father, then I needed to start learning what to say and what not to say, for the sake of being a good role model.

  This was going to be hard.

  I walked back into the clinic's waiting room and was surprised to see the star of my recent fantasies still there. She didn't even look up at me or spare me a quick glance, which disappointed me a little. But I probably had lust written all over my face and would scare her even more.

  I'd had enough excitement for one day, and it was time to go home and do whatever it was Natalie wanted me to do. With that thought, I put my hand in my pocket and walked out of the clinic. Leaving the green eyed girl behind.

  It was a shame I didn't even know her name.

  Chapter 6 – April

  What in the world had that been all about?

  How the hell had Julian not even recognized me when he bumped into me? I mentally screamed at myself for being so weird around him, but it was too late to go back now and fix it. It was like some alien had invaded my body and had made me do what I'd done. Or more accurately, what I hadn't done. I hadn't done or said anything at all. I had just remained mute as if he had shocked me into silence. No doubt he thought I was some strange girl with deep issues.

  "April Grant?"

  I looked up, and the receptionist smiled at me.

  "Dr. Carlton is ready for you."

  I nodded and stood up, going up to where I had been directed to. Dr. Carlton was an elderly woman with a warm smile, and I immediately felt at ease with her. I could only hope that my nervousness wasn't showing all over my face and that it wouldn't be mistaken for doubt in the decision I had made.

  "Please take a seat."

  "Thank you."

  "Do you have any questions for me before we start?"

  I couldn't think of any, so I shook my head, but she explained anyway. It was still good to have everything clarified as it ensured that I hadn't missed anything. In the last week, ever since I had actually started considering myself for surrogacy, I had gone through many screening tests. Everything had checked out of course; I had no criminal background, I was in good health, and I was of sound mind.

  "So what we are going to do here today is taking some tests to pair you with a shifter. I will draw some of your blood for the tes
ts; don't worry, it's not much," Dr. Carlton said.

  I smiled a little while she took out a form and passed it to me.

  "Then you will fill out this form about your physical characteristics, likes, and dislikes and just other little things of interest about you as a person. Alright? It will go in your file."

  "Sounds good."

  I had already read through a similar form, so I knew what to expect. The agency was very thorough and made certain that I understood every little thing I was going to go through. My doctor finished explaining to me and put her gloves on.

  "Please take your cardigan off and extend your left arm."

  I did as she asked, and she smiled at me again. I hoped that all patients felt the same way that this woman was making me feel at this moment. Right now, I felt completely calm and in safe hands. She didn't look at me like I had lost my mind for doing this, or question why I was doing it. I wasn't sure if any other doctor would have acted this way and I was grateful that she was my doctor.

  After my encounter with Julian, my nerves were all over the place, and I didn't need the extra agitation.

  "There's no need to be nervous. You are not scared of needles or blood, are you?" Dr. Carlton asked as she wiped my forearm with some disinfectant.

  I shook my head. "Neither. I actually want to go to school to study medicine. I guess not being afraid of needles or blood is a prerequisite."

  "Oh, that's great. We can never have enough people who choose to dedicate their lives to the profession. It's a long and hard commitment, but in the end, it's the most rewarding thing you will ever do."

  I didn't even wince when the thick needle finally pinched my skin, and she started drawing blood. I was one step further in making someone's dreams of having a child come true. To think that such a simple process on my part meant a huge amount of happiness to someone else was humbling, and I was happy I had made this decision.

  My mind drifted off to Julian again, and I thought of his strong, warm hand as he had helped me up. Had he felt the electricity that our simple touch had transmitted? Could he tell how much his voice had affected me? How his scent had almost knocked me out? He smelled like the woods; fresh and unique, calling to my Wolf to come out and play, to do my favorite thing: running. And it would be so much better to have him running by my side. His scent was distracting and not to mention potentially addictive. He was like all my favorite things rolled into one tall offering of a man.

  I had to grind my teeth and mentally command my Wolf to stay put. It had all been too much for me all at once.

  To say I had been tongue-tied when I looked into his eyes was an understatement. All words had flown out of my head, and the only thing that seemed to be still working correctly was my heart. Or did I suddenly have two of those? Because the rhythm that had been banging away in my chest sounded like a full orchestra. It couldn't just be my lonely heart in there, could it? Surely it had company.

  I had failed to utter even a simple apology, or a thank you. Not only had I been embarrassed, but I could tell my skin had decided to show him just how embarrassed I was. I had felt the heat spreading on my face and neck, and I knew just how pink I had turned. All in all, it was a total disaster, and if they gave awards for that, I would get all of them.

  Luckily, this was a large clinic with many divisions so he couldn't have possibly known or guessed what I was doing here. Something about him knowing exactly what I was doing rubbed me the wrong way for some reason. Not that it mattered, because he hadn't seemed to recognize me anyway.

  Julian had never taken notice of me when I was younger and even used to ignore me some of the times. It never bothered me too much because he'd been older and I had always assumed that he just wasn't interested in the same things that I was interested in. But to completely forget me? I hadn't expected that, and I had to admit that it annoyed me very much. I wondered how forgettable I had to be for him to not even ask if he knew me from somewhere because I looked familiar.

  I obviously still had a crush on Julian, even after all this time. How else could I explain my very weird reaction to him earlier? The situation was hopeless, though, because the man clearly had no interest in me. Not only had he failed to recognize me, the awkward silence afterwards had made it very clear that he couldn't wait to get away from me. I had also contributed to that awkwardness of course, but he hadn't tried to talk to me anymore than he already had.

  "Doing a lot of thinking?"

  Dr. Carlton had already cleaned the small puncture wound and was now putting a small bandage in place. I drew my arm back and put my cardigan back on.

  "Alright, there are just a few more things," she said. "Your medical says you are in great health, so there is nothing to worry about. I will need you to add a bit more iron to your diet once you get pregnant, but otherwise, we are off to a good start. You will get a detailed dietary chart of course when the time comes, so don't worry if you don't remember everything I've said."

  I knew this already from the medical I had been given a few days before, but it was good to just hear it again and assure myself that was one less thing to worry about.

  And the reminder that I was about to become pregnant with someone else's baby was a good shock to my system. I didn't need to be swooning over handsome men who wanted nothing to do with me. I needed to focus on this, and on my end goal. Which was going to med school. Besides, there was no way I could even think of dating now. How would that even work anyway? Would I introduce myself to my date and ask them to just ignore the big belly?

  Being a surrogate mother and getting into a new relationship just didn't go well together.

  "All we can do now is wait for the results from the tests to come back. As soon as we get an ideal match and the parents approve, we can move forward to insemination," Dr. Carlton said.

  "Okay, thank you."

  "Take care of yourself, alright? I'll be in touch."

  I left Dr. Carlton's office with one goal in mind. I was going to focus on getting pregnant and getting into med school afterwards. Julian and other distractions were a thing of the past now. I wouldn't let anything or anyone steer me off course.

  Now all I had to do was to get my traitorous hormones to cooperate.

  Chapter 7 – Julian

  I looked at the hundred books I had bought online and wondered how I had clicked on so many in such a small amount of time. Maybe hundred was an exaggeration, but they definitely qualified to be called too many.

  'Daddy knows best.'

  'How to be the best dad you can be.'

  'The importance of a father in a child's life.'

  'The single, working dad.'

  These were some of the titles that had caught my attention, and I was going to read up on everything I could lay my hands on before the baby came. It was strange how once I had started the process, it was easy to get caught up in the excitement of it all. So where my life had previously existed of all work and pack business, now I had several folders on my computer on fatherhood and how to prepare for it. I was going to tackle the new role the same way I had managed all my others: head first with no apologies.

  This child had no idea what was waiting for him or her. I was going to be the most prepared father the world had ever seen, working towards that goal as if my life depended on it. Failure was not an option I was willing to consider.

  I was currently reading a book on surrogacy titled 'The Unconventional Family,' which was a great read on how parents could prepare for their unborn child and how to bond with it soon after birth. The writer was a psychologist who examined the differences between the conventional route that included having the opportunity to see the belly grow on a daily basis and talking to the unborn child versus the surrogate route where neither of that was possible.

  I bookmarked my page before I reached for my ringing phone, unplugging it from the charger. It was the agency.

  "Hello."

  "Hello, Julian Rollett?"

  "This is he," I confirmed.
<
br />   "This is Elton from First Class Surrogacy, how are you doing?"

  "I'm well, thank you."

  "I have great news for you, sir."

  My heart stopped beating for a second, and I couldn't wait to hear the next words he was going to say.

  "We found a great blood match for you, and everything is in order for us to proceed."

  "That's great. Is there anything else I need to do from my end?"

  From the information I had been given, there wasn't anything else needed from me right now, but it never hurt to make sure. And it made me feel helpful anyway to at least ask.

  "We need your permission to go ahead with the insemination."

  I felt a buzz of excitement rush through me at the thought of my child finally coming to be.

  "Of course, please proceed.”

  "Thank you, sir, please check your profile for the scheduled dates of the procedure once everything is prepared."

  "I will do so, thank you."

  The man hung up, and I couldn't help throwing my fist into the air. The ball was finally rolling, and I was one step closer to becoming a father. I made a mental list of everything I might need in the coming months. On top of that list was getting a nursery ready. Which meant I had to meet with my architect who could lay out some plans for me on how we could renovate one of the rooms. I could afford to give my child a very comfortable life, and I didn't want them wanting for anything. Starting with the best furniture I could get, and of course toys.

  I started searching for some nursery ideas. I had no idea someone so little could need so much stuff; and as I saved idea after idea to the folder I had created, it was clear I was in over my head.

  A small voice in the back of my mind reminded me that something would probably always be missing in my child's life, a mother's touch. Which was ridiculous, because I had seen plenty of successful, single parents in my life. I would just have to make sure I was enough for him or her so that they never felt that void of not having two parents.