The Wolf’s Surrogate

by Layla Silver

  I traced a path down her neck to her shoulder with the tip of my finger, memorizing every single detail about her.

  There were several light bite marks on her left shoulder that I'd left there, and I felt proud to have been the one to mark her that way. I knew that my back probably had a million scratch marks of hers too, and it fueled my desire to make some more. Making love to April was an experience I wanted more of and could easily get addicted to. We moved as one and I had never felt that before, a complete experience where my Wolf merged with my human mind and I could be myself completely.

  I continued teasing her skin until I got to her stomach, noticing again that it was a little swollen. Probably last night's dinner. I didn't care, though, she was completely gorgeous.

  For some reason, I suddenly found myself wondering what it would be like if she were the mother of my child. My finger moved in light circles around April's belly button, and I imagined her nine months swollen with my little son or daughter. She was the perfect mix of caring and carefree and would make a wonderful mother. Of that, I had no doubt. I didn't know where that thought had come from, but it didn't scare me like it would have a few months ago. April stirred again, and she slowly opened her eyes, showing me my favorite shade of green.

  "Hi," she said, then yawned.

  I wanted to capture this moment, and if I could figure out a way to bottle how I was feeling right now and sell it, I'd no doubt make millions. Right after I found a way to bottle her natural scent, but I was sure I'd keep that only for myself.

  "Hi," I said, then smiled at her sleepy face.

  She groaned and hid her face in her pillow, mumbling something about how I looked so good in the morning. I laughed, which made her look at me again. She had no idea how beautiful she was with her lips still swollen and her eyes heavy-lidden with sleep. Her hair was all over the place, and I wanted to bury my face in it and enjoy her scent. She was so naturally beautiful; she didn't even need to put in an effort to be attractive.

  "You look even better," I assured her, taking in her naked form again. "I would have you naked all the time if I could."

  "Then you would never be able to take me anywhere," she pointed out, sticking out her tongue for effect.

  "Hmm, maybe. But I wouldn't care, I rather enjoy just being with you like this," I replied honestly.

  She was quiet as she looked at me for the longest time. I realized then that no matter how wrong this was, I couldn't let her go now. Because I honestly didn't want to. How could I, when she made it impossible to not fall for her?

  "You must be hungry," I finally said, breaking the silence and getting out of bed to put on my jeans.

  I needed a break from all these emotions building up in me and some time to think. If I stayed in bed for another second, I would want to make love to her again and again.

  "I am," she replied, getting up too. "I can make us something real quick."

  "No, let me take care of you. I'm the breakfast king today."

  I wanted to take care of her in so many other ways that had nothing to do with feeding her, but I needed to control myself. She was hungry and probably tired from last night, and I needed to put her needs above my own. I had never wanted a woman this much, and I wondered again what it was about April that was so damn potent. Whatever it was, I was already hooked, and I didn't want it to ever stop. Despite the fact that she was probably too good for me.

  "I have absolutely no objection to that," she said with a chuckle, then drew a sheet to cover herself.

  "Please don't cover up on my account, it might actually motivate me to make you a five-course breakfast."

  She threw a pillow at me, and I ducked, laughing all the way to the kitchen. I gathered ingredients for a simple breakfast and quickly made some for two, finishing up just as April came in. Her hair was in a messy ponytail, but she looked like she had just washed her face. And to my great disappointment, she was wearing clothes. A pair of long tights and my t-shirt, and I couldn't really fault her on the latter.

  "What are you making?" she asked as she sat down.

  "Just eggs, some fried vegetables, and juice. I was going to make some toast, but I've never seen you eat it all the times I've been here."

  "I only like it on days that don't end with a 'y,' but I do eat it once in a while."

  I put two slices of bread on her plate before putting it in front of her, then poured her some juice. Her scent had filled the room now, and it was even stronger than before. I wondered if that had anything to do with us having slept together, but something had definitely changed. Not only was it stronger, but it was more appealing and bordering on irresistible. I clenched my fists and reigned in my primal instincts, startling when I felt a drop of blood on my lips where my fang had just pierced. I hadn't even felt my teeth lengthening.

  I licked my lips and took a step back from her, hoping she wouldn't notice my inner battle.

  "Thank you," April said, then picked up her fork. "You make better scrambled eggs than I do," she murmured as she took a bite, before digging into her plate with enthusiasm.

  I smiled and decided to tease her a little. "Well, they have these things called cookbooks nowadays. All you have to do is follow the instructions."

  "I believe cookbooks are part of a conspiracy to make us all eat boring food, and I refuse to give in to the system," she responded smoothly, making me laugh.

  "Oh, really? And do you take the same approach in everything you do, including your repeated failed attempts at knitting?"

  "I'm actually improving, I'll have you know. And keep running your mouth like that, and I'll knit you a muzzle."

  I chuckled and leaned against the counter to watch her eat, enjoying the moment.

  "But then if you put a muzzle on me, it won't just be talking I'll fail to do. I like to think of my mouth as a better version of a Swiss Army knife; it has many functions."

  She almost choked on her food, and I smirked. I knew exactly where her mind had gone, and I had no problem reminding her in case she ever forgot.

  "You're already thinking about it, aren't you?" I said, not taking my eyes off her.

  "Are you always so—" she waved her hand towards me as if looking for a word.

  "Charming?" I provided, giving her my best smile.

  She laughed and shook her head, choosing to continue eating her breakfast. I watched her again, feeling silly for being this fascinated by something as mundane as someone eating breakfast. This was not just someone, though.

  "I could get used to this," I told her with a small smile, earning a weird look from her that I didn't understand.

  It seemed as if something was on her mind, and I wondered if what I had said bothered her. Or was she regretting our night together? I didn't want to jump to any wrong conclusions, so I sat down in front of her and asked her.

  "What's wrong?"

  I didn't know what I would say or do if it was something to do with me, but I needed to know anyway. And if there was something that I could do about it, then I would do everything in my power to fix whatever was wrong.

  April shook her head and plastered an unconvincing smile on her face. "It's nothing."

  "Are you sure?"

  She nodded and continued eating, giving me no choice but to let it go. Maybe I just imagined things, I thought. Last night had been great, and April and I had really connected on much more than a physical level. This could be a great beginning for us, and I wanted to show her that we could be so great together. I realized that I probably looked like a creep just standing there and watching her eat, so I sat opposite her with my plate and dug into my breakfast as well. April looked at me after she drank the last of her juice and I noticed a cute blush forming.

  "You work out a lot?" she asked.

  "When the mood strikes," I said with a shrug, which was the truth. "Most of the times, I just run."

  "And what do you do when you're not at work like this?" she asked again.

  I tried to think of a time when
I had just been off work but couldn't really. I had stopped going to the office for some time, but I still worked from home.

  "Even when I'm not at the office I'm usually working on one thing or another at home. But when I'm not working I either drive to some secluded place I've never been and let my Wolf run free, or I'll visit a restaurant and try out something I've never had before."

  "Isn't that dangerous?" she asked with wide eyes.

  "The food or the running?" I teased, knowing what she meant.

  She just rolled her eyes, but I could see that she was fighting a smile.

  "Well, I always try to be alert before I shift and when I'm running in a strange place. But I suppose it adds to the thrill. I'm more worried about rogue Wolves than I am of humans seeing me."

  "I heard you mention to my dad about some new security features you were working on for your pack. Is it because of rogues?"

  "Partly, but it's just overall precaution. You know what happened last year with some of the packs down south, so hostile packs are a threat too. You can never be too careful."

  She nodded and smiled sadly. "I remember when my mother had 'the Wolf talk' with me. She said being a shifter didn't make me invincible, and that there were a lot more things that could harm me than I thought. It scared me at the time because I had honestly thought I could do whatever I wanted since I was stronger than every human around me."

  I would have to tell my child the same thing one day, I thought. Then another thought came to me as I imagined April being right there with me when I did.

  "It's quite something, isn't it? All that power?" I said.

  "It is. And last night," she paused and blushed, biting the corner of her lip. "I've never felt anything like that before."

  "Me neither," I said, knowing exactly what she meant.

  We were silent for a heartbeat, and I felt like kissing her again. My phone vibrated, ruining the precious moment. I took it out of my pocket and inwardly groaned when I saw the caller id.

  "It's your dad," I said, and she looked panicked as she stood up quickly.

  I wanted to rewind the day right then to a few hours before, but I didn't have the power to do that. I did the only thing I could while I watched April all but run to her room: I pressed the green button to answer.

  Chapter 16 - April

  I had never enjoyed a date more than the one I'd had with Julian. It had been the perfect mix of sweet, naughty, and funny. It was easy being with him, and we had such a great time together. When he had first asked me out for dinner, I had said no initially. Now I was really glad I had gone out with him because it had been one of the best nights of my life. Before and after the clothes came off. It was almost worth the conflicted feelings I was having now.

  There were a few times when I felt lonely because my mother was gone. Most times, I just missed her, and I had happy memories of her. Today was not one of those times because today I really felt that void. I had a lot of questions to ask her, but she wasn't here to answer any of them. My tears were threatening to fall already as the emotions hit me left, right, and center.

  I wanted to ask my mother what she would have done if she were in my shoes. Would she have done something like offering to carry a stranger's child for money? Would she let herself fall for someone who could be so wrong for her? And what would she do if she did both of those things and found everything going out of control? Those were the things I wanted to ask her. Because for all my mother had taught me, she had never prepared me for this.

  Not once had she warned me of men like Julian. The quintessential tall, dark, and handsome bad boy who ended up not being so typical after all. Because not only was he much older and there was nothing boyish about him, but he had his life together too. The kind of guy that could snatch your heart with just a dimpled smile or a feather light touch. She hadn't told me what to do if I ever found myself in a situation where such a man wanted to woo me. And most importantly, how to balance such a man when I had a secret pregnancy.

  The little devil on my shoulder told me to just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. It told me to stop worrying so much and just chill. I was so tempted to listen to it, of course; it was giving me such easy solutions. But I knew that life didn't work that way, and I couldn't just ignore what was going on and do whatever I wanted. The angel on my shoulder was panicking as much as I was. It told me that I ought to be ashamed of myself and think more before I acted next time. It told me that there'd better be no next time. Because I was keeping a lot of secrets already from Julian and from my father. I had to admit that the things my imaginary angel was saying made a lot of sense, and I was feeling too guilty already not to listen to her.

  What had I done?

  There were quite a few things in life I couldn't control, but this was not one of them. I had consciously made a decision to go for dinner with Julian, and everything that happened afterwards, too.

  Not only was I pregnant with a stranger's child, but I had slept with Julian, and he had no clue what was going on with me. There was no one to blame there except me.

  I couldn't help but fall for Julian, it was impossible not to. The man was smart, funny, and all kinds of charming. He looked at me like I was the only woman in the world, and made love to me like a god. And we had very real moments too when I saw a bit of his vulnerability. Even now, just thinking about Julian made me feel happy. Even though I knew he made women all over fall at his feet. I was just like them, unable to resist him. Would I end up as one of his casual flings as well? I wasn't sure I wanted to stick around long enough to find out. Julian had a long list of flings, and there was absolutely no guarantee that he would ever choose to have a real relationship with me. I was probably just a passing phase to him, and it was more difficult for me to walk away now because I had gone ahead and developed feelings for him. I wondered if he was even worth all this emotional turmoil and if he could ever be serious with me.

  When had I become so foolish?

  My father would probably blow a fuse if he found out, and I didn't want to hurt him that way. I had already piled a lot on him with the surrogacy, and he had been as supportive as he could be so far. This was just the worst way for me to repay his patience and show him that I was an adult capable of making sound decisions. After he had called, everything had become awkward between Julian and me and he'd left soon after, probably to give me some space. We were both avoiding the elephant in the room, which was Kenneth Grant. If only that was my only problem.

  I wanted to scream and cry at the same time, just do something to let out every negative emotion I had. It wasn't going to solve my problems, much like a child lying on the floor and throwing a tantrum. But I just needed to do something, or else I was sure I would go crazy. My phone rang, delaying my tantrum for now.

  "Hi, stranger!" Catherine's happy voice filled my ear.

  It was a relief hearing my friend's voice; she always managed to put me in a better mood. Even though our usual light banter wouldn't solve any of my problems, it would make me feel a little bit better for a little while and reduce my stress levels.

  I smiled and replied, "Hi, yourself, you sound chipper."

  "I think I might be in love," she laughed. "But I don't want to rub it in your face or anything."

  That made me laugh and realize just how much I had missed my friend.

  "And you are doing so well, I applaud you," I said in a deadpan manner.

  "Thank you, I try," she said, laughing again. "So where have you been hiding? I haven't spoken to you in so long! You haven't eloped with some guy and are already pregnant with his twins, have you?"

  Well, she was pretty close. Except it was the other way round. I was already pregnant but not with the guy I daydreamed of eloping with. Just a typical run of the mill kind of situation.

  "Sorry to disappoint you, my life is not that interesting," I said, lying through my teeth.

  I just wasn't ready to confide in her yet. And knowing my friend, she would find no problem to tell m
e to go ahead and get my fill of the hot guy. I wasn't sure what she would say about the baby situation, though. But if anyone could help me run away with a child and help me cover my tracks, it would be my crazy friend. Not that I was thinking of kidnapping someone's child, I wasn't that insane. I wouldn't be beneath begging to share custody, however, if only I knew who the father was. I still wouldn't do that either, but a girl could dream.

  "How's college hunting?"

  At least that was one question that I could give an honest answer to, and one that didn't make me want to scream.

  "It's going well; I sent my applications, and I'm now waiting for responses. I think I put together good applications though, so now just hoping for the best."

  "I'm not worried, I know you'll get your choice pick. It's the waiting that sucks, but when those letters start coming in, it's going to be so exciting! And I can't wait to celebrate with you of course."

  I smiled; only Catherine would think that receiving decision letters from colleges was exciting. I would use the word nerve-wrecking.

  "Thanks, Catie. I'll let you know if I get any letters."

  "You better! Otherwise, I'll have to come there and make your life miserable," she replied.

  I laughed; it felt good to forget my problems for a little while.

  "So what's this about you being in love? Is it that guy you liked?"

  "Yes, and he's a total sweetheart. He's so sweet and mature, and I think you would totally approve."

  "I'm really happy for you, Catie. He's lucky to have you, I hope he knows that."

  "Of course; I tell him every day."

  We both laughed, and I sighed. "I really miss you, C."

  "I miss you too."

  It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her everything. That I had no idea what I was doing with my life, and I could use some help, but I held back.