“Um…you can have the other half of the bed if you want. I promise to stay on my own side.”
His lips twitched, but I swore heat flashed in his eyes before he lowered his gaze. “I have a concussion, remember? So I should stay awake. Besides, I’m not tired. You get some rest, Liz. Tomorrow we will figure out our next step.”
Lizzz. My face burned. I’d forgotten all about his head injury. He hadn’t acted like he was hurt at all after he’d returned from dumping the SUV across town. I pulled the covers over me, closing my eyes, trying to hide my hurt and disappointment. Of course, he didn’t want to sleep in the same bed with me. I was just friend material now.
My throat clogged with emotion. Was it because I’d pushed him away? If I hadn’t pushed him away, would he be making love to me right now?
Oh, why do you care, Liz? This is what you wanted, isn’t it? He can’t hurt you if you don’t fall for him.
I might tell myself that’s what I wanted.
But deep down, I knew better.
Deep down, I fantasized about Ryan truly wanting me.
Even though it was a fantasy that would never come true.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Ryan
It took all of my willpower to turn Liz down when she offered to share the bed with me. I didn’t trust myself to lie next to her and not touch her, so I declined. She had no idea how tempting she was. Hell, she was a mathematician like me! The girl was perfect in every way. Perfect for me. I hadn’t been lying when I’d told her I ached for her. Keeping my distance was proving to be difficult, but I didn’t want to scare her off, so I was working on winning her trust and being her friend first. I really did not want to hurt this girl. I’d never had to woo a woman before, so I wanted to be cautious in how I proceeded. Liz had seemed confused when I’d backed off, but it had helped her to relax, which was what I wanted. I wanted her to be comfortable around me. I wanted her to tell me about the man who had hurt her, the man who’d made her be so wary and judgmental of me.
I settled into the armchair across from the bed and texted Luke.
Where are you guys at?
His response: Heading back your way. No sign of any Company soldiers. I’m guessing you took out the only ones in the area. How come you didn’t get cozy with the chick yet? Did she not fall for your charm, lover boy? I never thought I’d see the day when you couldn’t seduce a woman. Does this mean I won the bet?
I rolled my eyes and typed: You know Liz isn’t that kind of girl. You felt her vibe. She’s going to take some wooing. And I really like her. She’s cool. I don’t care about the bet anymore. I never did. I’m not in any hurry to bed her.
His response: Liar. You want her so bad it’s giving you blue balls. Are you falling for this chick? You? The ultimate player?
I squirmed uncomfortably in the chair. He was right. I did want Liz. More than I’d ever wanted any woman before. Liz was rare and special.
She’s special, I texted back. She’s not after a quickie. She’s a forever kind of girl.
And all of those things drew me to her. I wanted to get under her skin. I wanted to know everything there was to know about Liz.
I wanted her to want me, for me.
You really are falling for her, Luke responded. Hot damn.
I could feel the mixture of shock and horror coming from him. Luke was more wary of emotional attachments than anyone I knew. He intentionally kept his distance from people. I think deep down he had a fear of being hurt, but he didn’t want anyone to know that. He acted like a cold bastard most of the time, but he was a good guy underneath.
What would he do if Liz and I fell in love? Would he feel threatened by her? Would he worry that she might interfere with our dreg bond?
I’d witnessed how the other dregs coped with loving a woman and still sharing the dreg bond with their partners. It obviously could be done.
And if I were honest with myself, I would admit I was more than ready to fall in love. To find my own happily ever after, too. With a woman like Liz.
Luke would always be my best friend. But now, I wanted more. I wanted a female partner to share my life with. I wanted Liz.
I don’t know, I answered honestly. She’s different from any girl I’ve ever met. She’s real.
My phone rang, so I swiped the screen.
“Seriously?” Luke demanded. “Are you sure it’s not just the thrill of the chase?”
I glanced at Liz in the bed. Her eyes were closed, but I knew she wasn’t asleep. Was she listening to me?
“I can’t say for sure what it is this early on,” I admitted.
He chuckled softly. “The player is falling for a chick. I can’t fucking believe it. We never did set a timeline on the bet. Do you need more time to achieve the impossible? Should we give you a deadline? Because I really don’t want to be celibate for an entire month.”
That’s right. The loser of the bet had to agree to no sex for an entire month. But I didn’t care about the stupid bet. I’d just agreed so that Luke would stay away from Liz.
But I would play along to keep him away from her.
“Give me another week,” I suggested. “That should be enough.” Though I really had no idea what might happen over the next week or if Liz would even be around that long.
He sniggered. “An entire week to seduce a girl? Fuck, if you can’t do it in that amount of time, then you deserve to be celibate for an entire year.”
A few days ago—hell, even a few hours ago—I would have agreed with him. But not now. It wasn’t all about sex. Not anymore. I was starting to care about Liz and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. The girl intrigued me. Sure, it was partly about the thrill of the chase, but I wanted more than just sex. For the first time in my life, I wanted a girl to be my friend as much as my lover. Liz and I had bonded during our short time together. She got me. She understood me. Or, at least, I think she did. I liked being with her. I liked hearing her laugh. I liked the way her face lit up when she smiled. I liked seeing those expressive eyes swirl with different emotions.
And I liked kissing her. Hearing her soft sighs. Feeling her body melt into mine. Recalling her reaction to my kisses earlier made me hard all over again. I wanted to unravel her, bit by bit. Make her come completely undone. Thinking about how sweet her surrender would be made me shift uncomfortably in the chair again. Luke was right. Liz was giving me blue balls.
“I don’t want to talk about this right now,” I grumbled.
He chuckled. “Why? Is she listening?”
“Possibly.” I glanced at her in the bed again. She rolled over, then sat up, her gaze landing on mine. She looked so cute with her hair all mussed and my extra-large shirt dwarfing her small, curvy body. Desire stirred in my loins. Yes, I wanted her. Desperately. I didn’t know how long I could keep from touching her. How long I could keep my flirtatious jokes and sexual innuendos from spilling from my lips. It was my nature to flirt. I liked to joke around. And I loved seeing Liz’s discomfort when I teased her. I loved seeing her get all riled up and embarrassed.
She glanced away, then shoved the covers aside and slid out of the bed.
“Call me when you reach Lawton,” I told Luke. “Later.”
I stuffed my phone in my pocket and rose from the chair. “Can’t sleep?” I guessed.
She reached for her glasses from off the nightstand, pushing them on her nose. “Yeah. It’s been a crazy night. I’m tired, but I’m so wired, I can’t sleep.”
I studied her expression. “So what do you want to do?”
She hesitated, looking uncomfortable, then shrugged. “I don’t know. What do you want to do?”
Oh, I could think of plenty of things to do, but she wasn’t ready for what I wanted. Down, boy.
“I have an idea.” I went to my duffle bag, unzipping the side pouch where I’d stuffed a deck of cards and a bag of dice the night we’d packed up and left the underground maze. We’d had to entertain ourselves while hiding out in Georgia, so card
games and dice games had become a regular part of our entertainment. I pulled out the bag of dice. “Wanna play a game?”
Though the kinds of games I wanted to play with her involved carnal activities, this one was safer. And less likely to scare her away.
“What kind of game?” she asked, wariness entering her eyes. Yep, she was still suspicious of me.
“A number game, of course.”
Her eyes lit up and she grinned. “That sounds like fun.”
I dragged one of the nightstands over to the edge of the bed, and we each sat on the bed on opposite sides of the nightstand. I opened the bag of dice and set them on the nightstand.
“Whoever guesses the total sum first with each roll of the dice wins that round. We’ll go ten rounds. Best out of ten wins a reward.” Most people would have difficulty adding up ten dice in their heads and doing it quickly. But Liz could handle it. She was a math whiz like me.
She turned, her gaze meeting mine. “What do we win?” She said it so confidently, I suspected the girl was smarter than she let on. I was looking forward to this challenge immensely.
“I don’t know. What do you want if you win?” I tried to keep the suggestiveness out of my tone, but it still came through in my words.
Her cheeks filled with color, but she held my gaze. “If I win, I want you to teach me how to shoot a gun.”
That was all? I had already planned to do that. I would gladly teach her how to shoot whether she won or not. I liked a girl who could defend herself. But I also liked a woman who needed me, at least on some levels. I liked the idea of being her protector. As well as her lover. Her friend. Her confidant…I wanted to be everything to her.
I cleared my throat. “Okay. That’s doable.”
She smiled. “And if you win? What do you want?”
What did I want from her? I wanted her trust. Her friendship. Her body. I wanted everything from her. But I couldn’t ask for that. Trust had to be earned. Friendship had to develop naturally. And physical attraction had to be real.
It occurred to me in that moment that it didn’t matter who won or lost, because even if I lost, I would still win. In fact, I was winning right now, because I was getting to spend time with her. And that made me a winner.
I shrugged. “Not sure yet. I’ll think about it.”
A brief wariness entered her eyes, then was gone. She grinned. “Doesn’t matter. Cause I’m winning.”
I laughed. “You think so, huh?”
And the number games began.
Two hours later, we’d played several different games with the dice, and I discovered how smart Liz truly was. We’d also played a few Fibonacci sequence games by figuring out different challenges and formulas on paper. I may have let her win a few rounds in the beginning, but as the games went on, it became apparent that she was equally as smart. She was the first person I’d met who shared my mathematical brain. Letting her win was no longer an option because she was plenty gifted on her own. Playing against her was a real pleasure. She made me think, pushed my mind to be quick with the answer to each challenge. I think I had more fun during those two hours than I’d had the last fourteen years of my life. And that was saying something.
The thought was sobering.
Life-altering.
This girl was changing me. After only one night.
One night that hadn’t involved any sex.
My other dreg brothers each had a special bond, a deep connection with their women. Most of them had known early on that they’d met their soulmate, and I suspected that was just part of being a dreg. That when we met the woman of our dreams, we would just know.
Was Liz the woman of my dreams? If I truly thought about it, she was nothing like the woman I had expected I might someday fall for. But at the same time, she was everything—and then some—of what I truly wanted. Of what I needed. This girl was so good for me. She was delightfully unexpected.
My desire for her had increased over the past two hours, my respect and admiration for her had intensified. What did that mean? Was I falling for Liz?
As I gazed at her now, waiting for her to finish her Fibonacci equation that she was writing on the small notepad she’d pulled out of her purse, my heart gave a little thump of longing. Of need. She’d let her guard down. She was now letting me see the true Liz. She was sweet. Smart. Decisive. Competitive. Genuine. Caring. Sexy as hell.
And I wanted her more than I’d ever wanted anything my entire life. What would she do if I made a move now? Her guard was completely down. She trusted me now. I sensed it.
Anticipation threaded through me as I watched her finish her equation. Her hair fell forward, blocking her expression from my view, an expression that I knew was deep in concentration as she figured out the answer. I gently lifted her hair aside, brushing it behind her ear.
She startled, turning her head.
Our gazes locked.
She swallowed hard, the sound audible in the silence of the room. Her heartrate kicked up, the steady thump thump thump easily reaching my ears.
Oh yes, she was aware of me. Very aware. Was she ready for what I wanted? Would she give in to me if I kissed her now? I needed to touch her. Feel her.
“Liz,” I whispered. I reached for her glasses and plucked them off her nose. She didn’t stop me. Instead, she merely sat there and gaped at me. And it occurred to me then that I’d won something way more precious than a stupid number game. I’d won her trust, and that was huge.
“Thank you for trusting me. You don’t know how much that means to me. Do you believe that I would never deliberately hurt you?”
Her eyes widened, confusion crossing her features. “Um, yes. I can see that now. Yes.”
I gently threaded my fingers into her hair and tilted her head back. “Can I kiss you, Liz?”
Panic flashed in her eyes. “I—wait!” she breathed out, her body tensing. “I haven’t finished my last equation.”
I stared into her eyes and slowly lowered my head toward hers. “You can finish that in a moment.”
Her lips parted in a silent O. “Ryan…” My name came out a breathless, needy whisper, and I had no doubt she wanted me.
I leaned closer, focusing on that sexy mouth of hers. Those plump lips I ached to taste again. Once hadn’t been enough. I needed more. I needed all of her. And I needed her to need me as much as I needed her. I wanted her to ache for me the way I ached for her.
So I took my time, gently pressing soft kisses on either side of her mouth, then along her jawline, and finally moving back behind her ear, and then nibbling on her earlobe. She gasped softly, her hands coming up to rest against my chest. She tilted her head back and I took that as an invitation to explore more thoroughly.
The art of seduction was simple, really. Tease. Torment. Make them want. Make them so desperate for more that they lost all reasoning. I wanted Liz to lose all reasoning. I wanted her to surrender to me completely. She wasn’t quite there yet. There was still resistance in her. Wariness.
I kissed down her throat and across to her other ear, slowly, deliberately, barely-there brushes of my lips across her soft skin. Her fingers tightened in the fabric of my shirt as she clung to me, hanging on.
“Ryan,” she gasped out in a breathless whisper.
I kissed back to where I wanted to be, gently nibbling at the edge of her lips, dragging out her torment, waiting for her to say the words. To beg for more.
“Tell me what you want, Liz,” I murmured. “Tell me, and it’s yours.”
Her hands curled around my neck. “I want–” She broke off, gasping as I left soft, gentle pecks along her jaw and back toward her mouth.
“Ryan,” she pleaded, and a fresh wave of heat shot through me. I had never counted on getting so turned on by kissing Liz like this. This was pure, sweet fucking heaven, and her response made me hot and hard with need. This was as much a torture to myself as it was to her. I wanted to taste those luscious lips, but I wasn’t going there until she asked me. I woul
d continue this torment until she said yes.
“Tell me what you want, Liz. Just say it. Give in, and I’ll end this torture for both of us.”
I kissed back around to her ear and licked her earlobe, then suckled on her ear.
She gasped again, squirming and turning into me, her hands tightening around my neck.
“Ryan,” she begged, her breath coming out in quick pants. “Please…”
Damn. She was stubborn. Her resistance was nearly gone. Her desire for me high. I had no doubt I could kiss her now and she’d melt into me. But I didn’t want that. I wanted her to beg for it. I wanted her to give in willingly. I wanted her to admit she wanted me.
“Say it,” I growled out, my voice husky with need. The petals were folding back and I was getting a taste of the sweet nectar inside the delicate flower.
I kissed back along her jaw, pausing at the edge of her mouth.
She impatiently turned her head, pressing her mouth to mine, and the spark that ignited between us shot straight to my groin. I drew back, not giving in yet. “Say it, Liz.”
She let out a soft whimper. “I want you,” she admitted, her cheeks heating at the admission. “Please…”
I slid my mouth over hers, giving her what she wanted. Giving me what I wanted.
The flame grew hotter. Scorching hot.
The last of her resistance faded as I kissed her deeply, owning her, demanding she give it all to me. She opened for me, letting me in, and I took. And took. I took everything from her, demanding her complete surrender. She melted against me just like I’d planned, but I was as caught up in the kiss as she was, completely lost in her. And that was something new. I’d never been so lost in a woman before. She was as much in control of me as I was of her.
The kiss went on. And on. Deep, plundering, soul-binding. She completely consumed me. Her scent, her taste, the feel of her against me. I was drowning in her, and I never wanted to come up for air.
Rap, rap, rap, rap.
Shit. Someone was knocking on the door.
No. Go away, dammit.
I wanted to ignore it. I wanted to keep kissing Liz. This was the best fucking kiss I’d ever experienced, and that was saying a lot, considering how many women I’d kissed.
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