She glanced at Joachim playing in the swing. He was such a good baby. He hardly ever cried, and loved to laugh. And he needed a mother, didn’t he?
She covered her face. What am I thinking? I’m too young for this kind of commitment. I’m still in school, for goodness sake.
“Do you plan to eat tonight?” Paul grumbled from his seat at the table. The vicious way he was cutting in to the roast made her wonder if he was seeing her face on it.
She walked over to the table and stared down at the top of his curly head. He never looked up. It took every ounce of restraint not to reach out and touch his silky locks.
She sat down across from him, but other than a quick, disinterested glance, he never even acknowledged her presence as he continued to torture the roast. She knew he was more sexually frustrated than angry. She also knew he didn’t have to be. They could both get what they wanted.
She lifted her plate and waited while he placed a few shredded slices of beef on it. You’re right. I do want you. And I will have you.
Chapter 11
By the next morning, Paul was certain the woman was trying to drive him insane. It started the night before, after he’d spurned her tempting invitation. And it seemed as if the war began as soon as she sat down at the dinner table.
She reached for the pasta. Her arm brushed his. He thought nothing of it.
She reached for the rolls. Her breast brushed against his shoulder. He swallowed hard and pretended to ignore it.
After dinner, as they were clearing away the dishes, she found a need to squeeze between him and the table, her bottom brushing against the crotch of his pants.
He gasped. She smiled and continued on to the sink with an armful of dishes. The gauntlet had been thrown down.
Which was why Paul thought it odd when she decided to turn in after eight. Amber did not strike him as the kind that would retreat in the middle of a battle.
So, deciding he’d won by default, he shrugged off the whole incident and went into the living room to watch some television while feeding Joachim his bottle.
Fifteen minutes later, she reappeared in the entryway announcing that she couldn’t sleep and asking if she could watch some television with him. Paul thought nothing of it, until she crossed in front of the television wearing that little bit of nothing that had started everything.
Paul was so shocked, he shot up off the couch and almost dropped his son in the process. Joachim wasted no time in letting him know his displeasure at having his feeding disturbed.
Amber sauntered over and took the baby from his arms, giving him an appealing view of her backside in the sheer teddy when she turned away from him. His suspicions were confirmed. She was indeed perfect from all angles.
His traitorous son didn’t help matters by quieting down as soon as she wrapped her arms around him. As far as Paul was concerned, he was siding with the enemy.
He wanted to explode. To tell her that her dirty little tricks wouldn’t work. That he was a stronger man than she could ever imagine.
But he also wanted to tell her that she’d won, that he would give her whatever she wanted so long as she would come into his arms at that moment. He wanted to describe in vivid detail all the things he would do with that lovely body. He wanted to beg her to touch him.
He decided neither response would do, so he sat back down, as if nothing had occurred, picked up the remote and began to channel surf.
He knew he’d made the right choice when her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. She looked back and forth between him and the television as if deciding what to do next. He was nervous for the safety of his fifty-four-inch plasma screen.
He had enough experience to know a thwarted woman was pretty much capable of anything. Including the complete destruction of expensive electronics.
She stood there for several seconds more, trying to ignore the Chargers game, before turning and stomping out of the room. Not that it had the desired effect, considering her sexy legs were bare, right down to the tips of her pretty little feet. He smiled to himself, realizing she was so angry, she apparently forgot she was holding a baby.
Later that night, unable to sleep—for the most obvious reasons—Paul wandered into the nursery and found Joachim sound asleep in his crib.
He stood beside the crib looking down on his innocent son. Still after all these months it amazed him how something so perfect could come out of such a disastrous relationship.
Paul had first met Joachim’s mother, Michelle Valens, during his first year of active duty. She was a communications specialist in his unit, and the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Her exotic, Polynesian looks had a mesmerizing effect on men, and Paul was no exception.
They became friends and that relationship quickly escalated into something more intimate. Paul fell in love almost instantly, but it didn’t take him long to realize Michelle did not feel the same. She enjoyed her effect on men and continued to flirt. Although Paul’s jealousy caused them to fight constantly, he still couldn’t give her up.
Michelle was wild, uncontrollable and unpredictable. She loved to party, more than life itself, and that attitude eventually earned her a dishonorable discharge.
Afraid he would lose her, Paul talked her in to getting an apartment with him off base, but that only lasted a short while. When he came home one day, she was gone. She’d packed her things and disappeared, and Paul thought he’d lost her forever.
Heartbroken, and looking for a way to forget, Paul signed up for the SEAL program. He dedicated himself to the training with a frightening zealousness, and felt he had found his calling. Until 9/11, and the war that followed.
Paul had been in many combat situations, but nothing had prepared him to fight an enemy like this. In his last tour of duty, Paul had seen and experienced things he knew would haunt him for the rest of his life. He wanted out. His soul wanted rest. Two years ago, he accepted an honorable discharge.
When his military buddies threw him a going home party, Michelle had shown up out of the blue, and Paul knew that he still had deep feelings for her. He was also encouraged by her new attitude. She seemed gentler, calmer in some ways. Paul was hoping that they could build a new life together.
Paul took her home with him back to LosAngeles. He took out a small business loan and started G-Force, hiring as many ex-military men as he could find to run the small security company. But he was so occupied with building his business, he didn’t notice Michelle’s rapid decline. She had returned to her old ways, hanging out and partying, sometimes not coming home until close to dawn. They were constantly bickering, and when they did, Michelle would disappear for days. So, Paul stopped saying anything, hoping that whatever demons were riding her would burn out of her system.
It never happened. In fact it got worse.
She began to criticize their modest lifestyle. He explained to her that starting a business took time, and patience, and that G-Force would grow and they would have enough money to get married. She didn’t want to wait.
She began to openly flaunt other men in his face—wealthy men. She would leave wearing one thing, and come home wearing an outfit that cost much more.
And she would be high. Not just a mild high off the marijuana he knew she smoked. No, she would be on some kind of super high, and sometimes it seemed to last for days. Discovering Michelle’s drug of choice was Paul’s first encounter with the methamphetamine drug known as crank.
Paul thought if he could keep her clean and sober, everything would work out. But he soon realized that trying to keep a meth addict from her drug was like trying to cage a wild animal. And there were days when Paul was certain that was what he saw looking back at him from her beautiful eyes. A wild animal.
By the time Paul had given up and decided he had enough, he found out she was pregnant. But given her behavior, he had good reason to doubt the child was his.
He wanted it to be.
He desperately wanted it to be. Despite everything that had happened
he still loved Michelle, and he hoped the baby could do what he could not—settle her down.
When Joachim was born, Paul thought God had heard his prayers, for his infant son was his very image. There was no doubt as to his paternity, even though Michelle tried to deny that in future arguments. And miraculously, he was born drug-free.
The birth of Joachim was like an awakening for Paul. It changed everything in his life. He doubled his efforts to build his business, working ridiculously long hours. He found a terrific day-care center that took infants, since he did not know where Michelle was during the day, and he did not want his child with her.
Despite Joachim’s birth, Michelle did not change. Paul reached a point where he was fed up with her behavior. In his anger, he made a critical error. He announced to Michelle his intentions to file for sole parental guardianship of Joachim.
The next day he came home and Michelle was gone, and she’d taken Joachim with her. Paul was able to use his G-Force connections, and within two days he found them at a seedy motel in Hollywood. But by the time he got there it was too late. Michelle was stretched out across the bed…dead. On the dresser was the setup for a mini-meth kitchen. Sitting on the floor, near the bathroom door, was his son still strapped in his car seat, letting out the most bloodcurling howls Paul had ever heard.
Brought back to the present by Joachim’s fidgeting, Paul reached into the crib and touched his son’s soft cheek. If he had not experienced it, he would not believe that starving, miserable baby was the one sleeping soundly in the crib.
He’d managed to build a decent life for Joachim in these months following Michelle’s death. He bought this house and hired Rosalie to care for him full-time, and G-Force was thriving.
And now another temptress had entered his life…and he was distraught to realize he wanted Amber Lockhart ten times more than he ever wanted Michelle.
Despite his intense feelings for her, he was certain now that he couldn’t get involved with her. Not even for the casual fling she wanted. Women like that destroyed the men who desired them. He couldn’t go through that hell again, and he certainly couldn’t expose his son to it.
Amber frowned at the doorknob and then tried to turn it. It was locked. Her frown intensified. So this is how he plans to avoid me.
She folded her arms across her chest, as she considered a way to get past the locked door. Seducing Paul Gutierrez was proving to be more of a challenge that she’d thought it would be.
She knocked. “Paul?”
The acute silence that followed was unnatural in its stillness, and a dead giveaway. She knew he was considering not responding at all.
“What is it, Amber?”
“You haven’t eaten all day. Do you want me to fix you a sandwich?”
“No thanks. I’ve got a lot of work to get caught up on.”
She tilted her head, wondering if that accusing tone was imagined. Was he blaming her?
“All right. Let me know if you change your mind.”
Another silence fell, and she had turned to walk away when he responded.
“I won’t change my mind, Amber.”
Just like the night before, food had become a symbol for a much more sensitive issue. She knew he was not just rejecting a sandwich.
That afternoon, Amber cradled the phone in the crook of her neck, while she attached the second elastic tab on Joachim’s diaper. “That’s wonderful! Oh, Pearl, I’m so happy for you. I leave home for a few days and you’re engaged and have an audition for a record deal! And in Nashville!”
Pearl chuckled. “Well, the record thing is too far out for me to accept as a reality, but, Amber, please just keep this to yourself for now, okay?”
“Why? This is wonderful news!”
“Well, not everyone may think so,” Pearl mumbled.
Amber knew she was referring to her conservative minister fiancé, Wade Kendrick.
Amber picked up the baby and carried him over to his crib. Sensing what she planned, Joachim grabbed the collar of her shirt in his tiny fists and held on.
Amber surrendered. Joachim was dry and content and she wanted to keep him that way. She carried him back to her bedroom with her. “So, when is the big event?”
“Everything has been happening so fast, Wade and I haven’t talked about it. Amber…when are you coming home?”
Amber sat down on the side of the bed. “I don’t know.” She huffed. “I’m just so tired of being the family screwup.”
“Don’t say that! You’re not a screwup! You just made a bad choice, that’s all.”
“And the beat goes on.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just that I don’t seem to learn from my mistakes like other people.”
“Sure you do. I don’t think you would ever follow a man you barely know across country again, will you?”
“No. But I might be tempted to move in with a total stranger, who was kind enough to rescue me from a bad situation, and then proceed to try to seduce him.”
“Amber! You can’t be serious! Do you realize this man is a close friend of Luther’s? How could you even consider doing something like that?”
“Spoken like a woman who has never set eyes on Paul Gutierrez. Trust me, if you had, you would not be asking that question.”
“So, he’s fine?”
“Super fine.”
“Still, you would create some seriously bad blood if you go to bed with a friend of Luther’s. Luther is the closest thing we have to a brother. If it ends badly, he may feel obligated to defend you.”
Amber sighed. “I know. Believe me, I’ve considered all that. But this man—Oh, Pearl, I just can’t explain it. He’s like something out of another time. He’s handsome, and chivalrous, and protective…and addictive.”
“Well, you better find a cure because this is a worse idea than the whole Dashuan Kennedy fiasco. At least, everyone agrees that guy is a creep. But this guy…this is Luther’s friend.”
“I get it, Pearl!” Amber snapped.
“Look. You know I am the last person in the world to criticize you. But, Amber, think real careful about this before you actually do anything. I mean this could have repercussions you can’t even imagine.”
Amber smiled at the little baby, lying on his back staring up at her with adoring eyes. “It already has.”
“What do you mean?”
Amber was considering telling Pearl about the deeper emotions Paul had awakened in her, but decided if Pearl couldn’t handle the idea of a meaningless seduction, she certainly couldn’t handle the thought that she may be falling in love with Paul.
“Never mind. So, fill me in. What’s going on back there?”
Pearl proceeded to tell her of all the happenings in Detroit, everything from the arrangements of their sister Opal’s upcoming wedding to millionaire D’marcus Armstrong, planned for the day after Christmas, to the latest on Pearl’s roommate, their cousin Paige Richards.
Almost an hour later, Amber hung up the phone feeling much better. Talking to any one of her sisters about her troubles always made her feel better. But there was no denying that Pearl was her favorite. Being the closest to her in both age and temperament, Pearl had always been her advocate with their other two sisters, the older and more mature Lockharts.
Ruby, Opal, Pearl and Amber had always been close. But when they lost their mother five years ago, the bond had been strengthened ten times.
Amber barely remembered their father, Raymond Lockhart, a police officer who was killed in the line of duty when she was only four, whereas her sisters had solid, fond memories of him.
So, although they all grieved for their beloved mother, for sixteen-year-old Amber, losing the woman who’d been both mother and father to her was devastating. Especially considering how it had occurred. The cancer came out of nowhere, and Emerald Lockhart was gone from the world within three months of the diagnosis. If it had not been for the love and support she found in her sisters, Amber was unsure s
he would’ve survived.
After the death of her mother, Amber had gone a little wild. But no matter what she did, nothing seemed to stop the intense pain she felt whenever she remembered her mother’s smiling face. And even as crazy as things got, they could’ve been much worse had it not been for the intervention of her sisters. And when the Lockhart sisters intervened…they intervened!
Anyone who knew their family could tell you that one Lockhart woman was enough challenge for anyone, but all of them together were unbeatable. Amber never stood a chance against her sisters’ undying faith in her. They honestly, truly believed their little sister would become the woman they all believed she could be. Strong and confident like them. But Amber knew better.
Still, her neverending cycle of disastrous relationships and spectacularly poor judgment never shook their unified loyalty. No matter how many times she metaphorically fell down, her sisters were there to pick her up.
It was that ridiculously misplaced confidence in her that always kept her from going too far in her pursuit of the wild life. And it was that same confidence in her that kept her hiding out in Paul’s home. She’d disappointed her sisters once again, and she had no desire to face those three pairs of understanding, sympathetic eyes.
But staying in Paul’s home held its own potential for disaster. It meant staying in close proximity to a man who made her want in every imaginable way. His home had become her sanctuary. His child had become her comfort. And the man, himself, well…he had become her heart’s desire.
Chapter 12
Paul glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost seven in the evening. He’d done it. He’d managed to keep his resident beauty at arm’s length for a full day. Of course, there was a touch of guilt in leaving her to care for Joachim all day. But he knew if there had been a problem she would’ve told him. As it was, she’d only come to the door once, to offer him a sandwich. But he knew she was tempting him with more than just two slices of bread and some deli cuts.
His Holiday Bride Page 9