by Jenny Hale
Ben grabbed her other hand and pulled her up as he got off the sofa. “We’ll need to get in line first thing,” he said with mock seriousness. Then a sweet solemnity washed over him. “Let’s have some fun tonight.”
Still feeling light with intoxication, Hallie agreed. This was exactly what she needed.
* * *
“You’re goin’ down!” Ben said to Hallie from inside his cobalt blue bumper car, with Robby giggling from the passenger seat as the cars began to move.
Mama, Sydney, and Robby had been at the aquarium all afternoon. When they got home and Ben mentioned the fair, Robby had been thrilled to go, so Hallie and Ben offered to give Sydney a break and take him. Robby had wanted to leave right away, so they did. They’d been on nearly every ride there.
“You’ll have to catch me first!” Hallie turned her steering wheel with all her might, Ben and Robby coming straight for her. Trying to maneuver the car while laughing was no easy feat, but she managed to dart out of the way, swinging around and bumping the side of Ben’s car before heading in the other direction.
“You’re gonna pay for that!” Robby giggled. “Get her, Ben!”
“We’re coming for you, Miss Flynn!” Ben dodged two cars before clearing everyone else and coming over to Hallie’s side.
Laughing uncontrollably at the goofy faces he was making for Robby’s benefit, she could hardly make her little yellow car move. Ben was headed straight for her. Then, whack, he got her, right on the back corner, only making her laugh harder.
“I’m hungry,” Robby said when the ride was over, and they’d climbed out of their cars. “And my feet hurt from walking.”
Ben lifted him up piggyback style. “Well, you’ve got a few dinner choices: you can have that big bag of cotton candy over there, a slice of pizza the size of my jeep, or the Firefly Fair special, which is a world-famous apple fritter and ice cream. Or! We could get everything and nibble all evening.”
“Sydney would never speak to us again,” Hallie said, her cheeks hurting from smiling so much.
The sun was setting, the lights of the rides and the stalls all flashing in neon colors, the air filled with bells, chatter, an occasional scream of excitement from someone on a ride, and the coastal sounds that were always present at Firefly Beach. Hallie’s face was warm from the sun, the breeze finding her every now and again to cool her.
Robby slid off of Ben’s back and ran around in front of him. “I want cotton candy!” He was hopping up and down, heading over to a stand covered in bags of pink and blue.
“You have to at least have a corn dog or something,” Hallie said.
Ben was already at the stand, buying him the biggest bag they had.
Hallie joined them. “That’s enormous!” she said, digging around in her wallet for some cash to get him a corn dog too.
“It’s about fun tonight, right?” Ben said, handing Robby the bag. Then he pulled Robby back up onto his shoulders, the bag dangling precariously from Robby’s fingers by Ben’s ear. Before Robby could answer, Ben took Hallie’s hand. “What’s next?”
“Play that, Ben!” Robby said with excitement, pointing to a game with two basketball hoops that seemed to be placed miles from the shooting line. It would take a rocket launcher to get a basketball that far.
“Think I can win it?” Ben asked, twisting to look up at him.
“Yes!” Robby squealed.
“I did promise Hallie a great big bear. She wants one really bad.” He winked at her.
Ben walked over to the stand and then squatted down to let Robby climb off his shoulders. Then he took out his wallet and grabbed a few bills from it. “I’ll play five games, please,” he told the attendant, handing him the money.
“Five?” Hallie said, surprised. “You really only have to play one, or none for that matter.”
“And let you go home empty-handed? Never.”
Robby leaned on the counter, pulling wads of pink cotton candy from his bag and stuffing them in his mouth, his eyes glued on Ben as Ben took the first basketball from the attendant and bounced it once in front of him. Ben lifted the ball up with both hands and sent it flying into the air. The ball sailed toward the basket in a straight line, hitting the rim and rolling around it before bouncing out.
“Ooooohhh!” Robby cried. “That was close, Ben!”
Ben shot another one with the same precision. It hung in the air, and the three of them stood silently, watching it go. The ball went in, bounced back and forth, and then popped back out.
“No!” Robby said, a mass of cotton candy in his fingers. “That should’ve gone in!” He started jumping up and down. “Shoot another one! You’ll get it in.”
“Third time’s a charm,” Ben said, making the shot. This time, the ball went in and slid all the way down the net, a victory bell sounding. Robby and Hallie both screamed with glee.
“What prize would you like, sir?” the attendant asked.
Ben turned to Hallie. “Take your pick.” He waved his hand across the line of gigantic stuffed animals in every color of the rainbow.
“What color should I get, Robby?” she asked, but she was still smiling at Ben.
Robby finished his bite of cotton candy and said, “Get the green one.”
“The big frog?”
“Yes!”
The attendant pulled down a frog that was so huge Hallie wasn’t sure how she’d maneuver it around through the rides. He awkwardly handed it over the counter to her. “Thank you,” she said with her face full of green fur, and then she set it down on the ground, leaning on it.
“You still have two more shots,” Robby told Ben.
Ben ruffled his hair and then stole a bite of cotton candy, popping it into his mouth. “I do! Think I can win you one too?”
Robby’s eyes grew round. “Oh, I hope so!”
“If not, Robby, I’ll give you mine.”
“Oh no, Hallie,” Robby said with worry on his face, “I know how much you really wanted it. Ben said so.”
Ben laughed. “You won’t have to worry about that. I’m going to win you one. Or at least go down trying.”
He took the ball from the attendant and threw it toward the basket. It looked like a perfect shot, and the ball went in but it bounced out. Robby’s face collapsed in disappointment. But with a deep breath, he regained his composure. “You can do it, Ben.”
“Last shot, buddy.” He bounced the ball a few times, lining up his angle visually. Then, slowly, Ben put the ball into position, both hands on it. He heaved the ball at the basket. Just like before, it went in, and Hallie held her breath until she heard the victory bell, the ball dropping down to the end of the net.
“You won, Ben!” Robby said, dropping his bag of cotton candy and wrapping his arms around Ben’s waist.
Ben squatted down to be at Robby’s eye level. “Which one do you want?”
Robby walked back and forth, assessing his options while Hallie picked up his cotton candy, twisting the bag shut. Then she went over to Ben and kissed him on the cheek. “He’ll remember this for his whole life,” she said. “I’m sure of it.”
Ben put his arm around her and gave her a cuddle, kissing the top of her head. It was quite possibly the best feeling in the world.
TWENTY-FIVE
Hallie grinned to herself when she woke to the gigantic green frog sitting in the corner of the sewing room. Last night was amazing. They’d ridden nearly every ride there. Robby had fallen asleep in the jeep on the way home, and Ben had carried him inside and upstairs to his room. When he met Hallie in the hallway, Ben gave her a kiss on the cheek and told her goodnight before heading out to the guesthouse. Hallie had been nearly as exhausted as Robby, falling into bed and losing consciousness almost immediately.
Her phone had a text waiting from Gavin, but she’d get it in just a bit. Instead, she inhaled the smells of morning at Starlight Cottage: bacon, eggs, potato casserole with cheese, homemade buttermilk biscuits… She got up, washed her face, pulled her
hair back, and headed downstairs to her family.
The piano was silent this morning. Hallie had hoped to hear music as she padded down the stairs, but instead all she heard was the clinking of dishes and the sizzle of food on the stove, silent the way it had been since they’d arrived. As she entered the kitchen, she found out why. She immediately zoned in on the two empty chairs at the table: Aunt Clara’s, which she’d expected, but the other chair was Uncle Hank’s. There was a new face in their circle this morning.
Lewis.
“Good morning,” he said with a cautious smile.
“Hi.” Hallie walked over and sat in her chair across from him, her eyes questioning.
“I was invited,” Lewis said, holding Aunt Clara’s letter into the air.
Mama and Sydney exchanged glances.
“Has Uncle Hank been down to breakfast yet?” Hallie asked.
“Yes,” Mama said, that one word filled with countless contemplations. “He’s decided not to eat this morning. He’s back in his room.”
“Hey there!” Ben said, coming in and nuzzling up to Hallie playfully. “Hey, buddy.” He walked over to Robby and gave him a friendly pat on the back. “How’s that belly feeling after all the cotton candy?”
Robby giggled.
Then he reached a hand across the table. “You’re Lewis, right?” As if it were totally normal for Lewis to be there.
“I am.” Lewis shook his hand.
“Ben. I’m a family friend.” He sat down next to Hallie. “They feed me occasionally.”
Lewis smirked, obviously trying to figure Ben out.
“Where’s Hank?” Ben asked, only then observing the tense silence. He pushed back from the table. “I’ll go get him.” Before anyone could respond, Ben was gone again. While Ben probably didn’t know what he was getting into by going to find Uncle Hank with Lewis at his table, if anyone could calm him down, it was Ben.
Hallie leaned closer to Lewis. “What did the letter say? Can you tell us?” she asked.
Lewis held the letter in his fist as a smile spread across his face. “She said she wasn’t angry with me. And I knew that already. She also said that I was welcome to come for a visit and that she insisted I do at least once. She suggested breakfast, since that was the time everyone always got together before the day pulled the family in different directions. I brought some muffins.” He gestured toward a basket on the table.
“That was very kind of you,” Mama said.
Hallie realized that the others didn’t know the whole story behind why Uncle Hank was so upset with him, or how sorry Lewis was for interfering in Uncle Hank’s life. And Uncle Hank didn’t know Lewis’s side. Everyone needed to hear it all. “I’ll check on Ben,” Hallie said, getting up.
After looking in a few rooms, she finally found Ben and Uncle Hank upstairs in his bedroom. Ben was sitting on the edge of the bed nodding at Uncle Hank. She’d expected to see Uncle Hank in a fury, but he wasn’t. He was speaking calmly with Ben. They both stopped talking when Hallie entered.
“I’m guessing you’re here to bring me downstairs,” Uncle Hank said. He was civil, composed.
“What do you think about that?” Hallie asked, curious as to his change in demeanor when Lewis was the subject of conversation.
“When I got upstairs, I kept remembering Clara’s letter,” he said in almost a whisper, “the part where she said everyone deserves the kind of love I showed her. That’s Clara. She loved everyone with all her heart. And if she taught me anything, it was that. Years ago, when she had a choice, she chose my love. She had faith in my love. I have to show her that her choice was right, that my love for her was bigger than anything else in her life. It’s so incredibly difficult to bring myself to love my brother after what he did. But by trying, I’m honoring Clara.”
Hallie took his hands and squeezed them. “That’s the Uncle Hank I know,” she said, emotion welling up. “I missed you. Where have you been?”
He blinked as his eyes got misty.
“I know you’re still really angry with Lewis. But he told me what happened after Aunt Clara chose you, and I truly believe that if you hear him out, you’ll have it in your heart to forgive him.”
His jaw clenched, and Hallie knew how difficult it still was for him.
“You don’t have to be his best friend. Just let him tell you. Let him sit at our table.” She tugged on his hands. “Let’s all go down together. The whole family.”
Ben, who’d been sitting quietly on the edge of the bed, stood up. “I’ll just grab a muffin and head out. You all need your family time.”
“Nonsense,” Uncle Hank said. “You’re family too.”
The three of them went downstairs together. When they came in, Uncle Hank nodded at Lewis, which was miles above how he felt for him, Hallie was nearly sure. Uncle Hank was giving it everything he had—all for Aunt Clara.
“I’m just finishing up the grits and hash browns now,” Mama said guardedly over her shoulder, as she stirred the potatoes on the stove.
Uncle Hank kept his hand on the back of his chair but didn’t sit. “That means I have time to play piano, then.”
“Yay!” Robby hopped out of his chair. “Can I play too?”
“Of course you can.” His gaze fluttered over to Lewis. “Shall we show them?”
A smile crawled across Lewis’s face. “It’s been a long time.”
Uncle Hank nodded.
Lewis and Uncle Hank walked out of the room with Robby trailing behind. Sydney and Mama followed, the sight so intriguing that Mama left the potatoes on the stove. Uncle Hank and Lewis went into the living room and sat down next to one another at the piano. Hallie hovered in the doorway and Ben came up behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders like he always did.
Lewis put his fingers on the keys, pausing for a second as if he had to get his emotions in check. Uncle Hank placed his hands on the notes where he was going to start, and then the two began playing in unison. Their fingers moved together effortlessly as if God himself were choreographing them, as if they’d always been meant to be a whole. The melody was sweet and fluid, the most beautiful music Hallie had ever heard come from that piano. Tears fell down Mama’s cheeks and she wiped them away. Sydney stood beside Robby, motionless and transfixed. Ben’s hands slid down from their position on Hallie’s shoulders, finding her waist where he wrapped his arms around her, holding her as emotion welled up in her throat. This was the start of something wonderful. Hallie could feel it.
* * *
Ben’s phone rang as he leaned against the white brick of the lighthouse. He peered down at the screen, his brows pulling together.
“Everything okay?” Hallie asked. She sat down in the shaded grass next to where Ben stood, her flip-flops lying beside her bare feet as she leaned her head against the lighthouse, and closed her eyes to take in the salty air and the pure joy that she felt after breakfast this morning.
“It’s Ashley.” He didn’t answer and the ringing finally stopped. He put his phone back in his pocket. “I’ll call her later.”
Hallie looked up at him and he lowered himself down next to her. “I’m worried, Ben.”
“What are you worried about?”
“I’d hate to see you lose out on someone wonderful. You wouldn’t have started dating Ashley if you didn’t see a future with her. I know you. You aren’t a short-term dating kind of guy. So why did you start dating her?”
“I told you. Because I thought I’d lost you.”
“And now?”
“I’m willing to take my chances.” He gave Hallie a warm look that knotted her stomach.
“That’s not fair to me,” she said.
“What do you mean by that?”
Hallie swallowed and tried to get the words to come out, when everything inside her was screaming to say something different. “I just don’t want you to think that there’s a chance for something more between us when I’ve never told you there would be.”
Ben propped h
is knees up and rested his arms on them as he looked out at the ocean, his expression frustrated. “You’re not making sense to me, Hallie.” He turned back to her. “I’m getting mixed signals from you. But even if there’s no chance for you and me at all, in the end, I can’t date Ashley.” He put his face right in her line of sight. “I’m in love with you. Completely and totally in love with you. I don’t know what more to say than that.”
The lump had found its way back into her throat and her chest ached with his admission. He was right. She was sending him mixed signals. She had to give it everything she had, and not let her feelings for him show. “What if I told you that I don’t ever plan to get married? I don’t want to.”
He huffed out a sigh of disbelief. “I’d say that’s weird, since I know how long you’ve thought about your wedding, but okay. It doesn’t matter. What matters to me is being with you.”
“And I don’t ever plan to have children,” she said, the last word stinging on its way out. A sob rose in her throat but she suppressed it.
Ben stared at her, his thoughts unreadable. The tide ebbed and flowed on the shore, constantly calling out its song, a stark contrast to the silence that rested between her and Ben. “You? You don’t want a family?”
She shook her head, unable to say anything more. She wanted to hide in his chest, to feel his embrace, to hear the sweet sound of his voice as he told her he could fix this. But she knew that wasn’t a possibility.
“Ever?”
“No,” she croaked, before the tears came like a tidal wave. She brushed them away angrily, one after another. A picture of Ben last night at the fair with Robby on his shoulders, laughing with him, getting him the cotton candy—like snapshots in her mind, banging together and creating a piercing noise in her head. She knew how great Ben was with children, and after last night she also knew that not only did she have to protect Robby and Ben’s relationship, but she could never take fatherhood from Ben. That would be selfish.
Ben looked down at the grass, fiddling with a piece of it, those ever-present thoughts in his eyes turning to questions, and then, there it was: the disappointment she feared. That look wrapped around her soul, strangling her.