A Farm Girl's Despair (#5, the Winds of Misery Victorian Romance) (A Family Saga Novel)

by Dorothy Green

  “So you will not be making yourself known?”

  “Not right away, no. Do you wish me to leave?”

  “No, I suppose not, but I am fearful of having a duke in my barn,” she said.

  “Fear not. All will be well. Please just allow me to stay one more night tonight, and I will be on my way tomorrow.”

  “Very well. But I must ask, why did you leave home?”

  “I did not leave home. My family is visiting a relation for summer and I got bored. I simply went for a walk, and a walk then turned into me hitching a ride on a farm wagon. I suppose the freedom suddenly felt too good to give up. After the wagon I simply walked the fields, but that was when I tripped and twisted my ankle.”

  Hilda giggled. “All a dream until you become clumsy.”

  “Indeed, you are right,” he laughed.

  “So therefore I want to enjoy this freedom a little longer. You cannot know the pressures and restrictions I have. I am to be sent away to school in a month in Europe, until I am nineteen or twenty years of age. Then I will be forced to marry who my father deems worthy. My life is planned out and I have no choice in the matter,” he said.

  “I understand,” she smiled. Then she lay in the hay beside him and together they looked up at the barn roof in silence.

  Hilda could not imagine what his life must be like, filled with luxury, but she did understand restrictions, for as a young woman she also had to endure them.

  The next morning, she went to the barn with breakfast.

  “Lance, it is I, Hilda.” She said.

  There was no response. She moved to the pen and he was not there. Hilda searched all areas of the barn and then outside in the surrounding areas. She could not find him, therefore she sat and waited. He did not show.

  Hilda went about her work in the barn, expecting he would return, but he did not. The duke had left without saying goodbye. Her heart was broken.

  Hampshire, England

  Late Summer, 1868

  After her father died, Hilda was not entirely alone. With her father gone, she was the only one remaining on the farm, but she had relatives in the village and abroad. Her step-brother Euron had returned to Scotland in early spring for his commission in the army, and she did not know how to reach him.

  Euron was not a blood-relative and Hilda knew that he had no tie to come to her aid. Euron’s mother had met and fell in love with her father when Euron was already fifteen years of age and Hilda was eight. But his mother had grown ill a year later and passed away. But being the good man that Hilda’s father was, he took him in as his own son, until three years later when Euron left to join the army.

  In the village lived her mother’s brother Angus, who owned the Green Tavern. He and his wife Laura were setting up to take her in, even though Hilda protested.

  “Come live with us in the village, child. We cannot have you out here all alone,” Laura said, sitting in the farm cottage with Hilda.

  “I mean to, Aunt. I will, but not just yet. I love my home. There are so many memories of father here. How could I give up the place all together?” Hilda said.

  “You will need to eventually. The rent was only paid for the next six months and then it will be due again. Angus and I cannot afford to take on a tenant farm. But we can afford to have you come live with us,” Laura squeezed her hand.

  “Thank you, Aunt. I am grateful to have you and Uncle. I only want to remain here for as long as possible. Leaving home, never to return again, is too much to bear. I miss him so much,” Hilda began to cry.

  “I know, child. I know. There, there, you are still in mourning, tis only been a week. It will become easier with time,” Laura said.

  “I do not think it could possibly be easier,” Hilda cried.

  “I know, dear. I know,” Laura said. “I will stay with you this week, take the time you need.”

  “But Uncle Angus needs you at the tavern. I will be fine on my own.”

  “Do not worry about Angus. He would want me here as well. He can manage with the maids without me for a while. Now I must have you eat something. You have not had substantial food. Will you eat dinner with me?”

  Hilda nodded her head yes.

  “Good. Why do you not set the kettle to boil for some tea while I work on the stew?” Laura said. Hilda knew that her aunt was trying to keep her occupied, but she did as asked all the same.

  Together they had tea and once the stew was done, ate together, but it grieved Hilda to see her father’s seat at the table empty. It was more than she could bear.

  That night Hilda cried herself to sleep.

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  The next morning brought a surprise that was not expected at all.

  Hilda sat outside, looking toward her father’s burned down shop, while Laura sat inside. A voice drifted in the air, giving commands to a horse. Since the area tended to serve a pathway for those passing through the fields on daily business, she did not give it any mind. Hilda continued to wallow in her grief.

  “Hilda! Ho there!” the voice said.

  It startled her. She turned to see her step-brother Euron riding a beautiful brown horse across the field toward her.

  “Euron! Brother!” she shouted. Hilda darted from the bench and made her way toward him.

  Euron waved, brought the horse to a stop, and dismounted.

  “Sister.”

  “Oh, Euron,” Hilda burst into tears as soon as he embraced her.

  “I know, sister. I know. I am sorry. I wish I could have been here, but I came as soon as I heard and was able to get leave.”

  “Come inside. You must be weary from the journey. Aunt Laura is inside. She has been helping me,” Hilda said.

  “She has, has she?”

  “Yes. She and uncle Angus wish me to live with them in the village, but I would much rather stay here in our home. Now that you have returned I will be able too,” she said happily.

  “Yes, of course,” he said following her inside.

  “Euron! Where in heavens?” Laura said giving him an embrace.

  “I heard about Father. I came as soon as I could. Did he suffer, Aunt?” he asked.

  “No. Tis said he did not. Twas instant. May God bless him,” she said.

  Hilda held back tears, for she had heard the same thing, but still found it all quite difficult.

  “Well now. I am parched. It has been a long journey,” Euron took off his cloak.

  “Oh yes dear, please sit. Hilda some fresh water for your brother. I will set the kettle to boil for tea. We have cold ham, cheese, and bread as well,” Laura moved about the kitchen while Hilda poured water from the pitcher and handed it to her brother, who settled at the table.

  ”I am very glad you have returned brother. I do not know what to do, and will be good to have you here under our roof again,” Hilda said.

  “Quite right, she is stubborn. Angus and I would have her stay with us but she will not leave the cottage. We cannot have her stay here at night all alone. At her age? Tis not fittin for a girl not yet one and ten to be alone in the countryside. All manner of men will hear of her father’s demise and come to see if she be alone,” Laura said.

  “You are right to be concerned aunt. However have no fear, for I am here now. I will take care of the lass and figure things out here. I have leave from the army for quite some time,” he smiled.

  “That is good to hear,” Laura said.

  “Indeed it is, brother,” Hilda smiled feeling much relieved. “You left so suddenly in early spring and we did not know what to make of the note you left. It simply said – Received word and need to return to my post. That was all very strange. We feared you were in some sort of trouble.”

  Euron shifted in his seat, uneasily, and placed a ham steak on his plate. “No, no trouble, just had to make haste and neither you nor father were home.”

  “Yes and on the same day that Miss Adeline disappeared. For she just did not ret
urn to the farm after leaving the Green Tavern that day. Her belongings are still here. Hilda put them away, but no one has heard from her. Have you, Euron?”

  “Me? No, why should I?” he said chewing on a piece of bread. “Is that water set to boil yet? For I would like some tea.”

  “It would do father good to know that there was no trouble for you,” Hilda said.

  “I wish I could have told him in person, sister,” he smiled.

  “I’ll get the tea set,” Laura stood up.

  A tension hung in the air, for there were some in the village that suspected Euron had something to do with Adeline’s disappearance, but Hilda and her father refused to believe it and chalked it all up to coincidence, for these things did happen.

  “I will set fresh sheets for your room, brother. Laura, I think that you may return to the tavern now that my brother is here to watch over me,” Hilda said making her way to the back.

  “Oh yes, quite right. Angus will be relieved to know that Euron has returned and you are not alone out here.”

  “Yes, I will protect my dear sister; there’s nothing to fear now that I have returned. I will handle all aspects of everything; the farm, our possessions, all of it,” he grinned and then turned to send a wink toward Hilda.

  She smiled feeling complete relief wash over her as she made her way to the cupboard to fetch fresh sheets and set about tidying up Euron’s room.

  Hearing her dear friends name, Adeline, again did make her think of her once more. As she swept Euron’s room she wondered if she would ever receive a letter from Adeline, and hoped that she was well, wherever she may be. She was probably off enjoying some adventure, just like the characters in the novels she read. One day she hoped to have her own fantastical journey and find love and happiness.

  One week had passed, and Hilda was starting to feel at home again, though still processing the loss of her father. It was good to have her step-brother at home, for now she did not have to worry about the rent, or how to take care of the farm. She knew that eventually he would have to return to his post in the army, but that he would take care to allow some time to pass before that happened. If she did have to go live in the village with her aunt and uncle, then she wanted to stay at the cottage for as long as possible before he left.

  But one thing was for certain, she did not have to deal with the mess of dealing with the attorney, and her father's death including all the paperwork that went along with such a thing. For she was merely a child, and did not know of such things, even if she could read and write.

  But as the week passed, she found that her brother was hardly home and when he did return from being gone all day, he would stumble in drunk. She assumed that he had been hard at work dealing with the attorneys and setting things right for the farm, and then perhaps stopping at the tavern where her uncle allowed him to drink to his heart's content because of the hard work he put in during the day. Or, so she thought.

  She was content to allow him to stumble in and pass out directly, even if she had worked a few hours on dinner for the both of them. She found herself eating alone much of the time and feeling her deep depression. But she was not one to complain, for if her brother had not returned at all she would be living in the village by now with her aunt and uncle, and not able to cherish the last few months in her own home.

  But at the end of the week, her brother Euron returned in the middle of the day, which gave her a bit of a startle when he burst into the living room, taking long, angry strides.

  “What is it, Euron? What has happened?”

  “Father, that is what has happened,” He said pacing back and forth in the room.

  “Father? What do you mean?”

  “I mean that he lied to me.” He said with his face growing redder.

  “Lied? I don't know what you speak of. Please tell me, is it the attorney? Has he said something?” She said.

  Then he stopped and looked at her, and angry scowl came over his face. He stepped toward her, putting inches between them. She had never seen him so angry before and she took a step back. For a moment she did not recognize him, for this did not look like her brother who was all smiles and charming at all times.

  “What do you know of it? Did he tell you?”

  “I don't know, considering that I don't know what you speak of,” She said.

  “Father told me that he had bought this farm, and that it would be signed over to me in his will.”

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  “Bought? No. This is a tenant farm, we pay rent, which will be due again in six months’ time. Father spoke fondly of being able to buy the farm someday, but that day did not come. I would have known of it; we would have had a grand celebration.” She said, astonished.

  “No, that is not what he told me. He said that he bought the farm and was making a will leaving it to me. I swear that he did. One night when I came home after the tavern, I thought that is what he said, no I know that is what he said.”

  “Are you sure? Perhaps you had some Scotch that evening, and mistook his words. Believe me brother I would know if we owned this farm.”

  “It seems that I do not own this farm. The attorney has no last will and testament of father’s, he never made one up, the old fool. Not that he has anything of worth according to his attorney. The only worth was that blacksmith shop, the tools and so forth and that has gone up in flames, useless. Then there's this farm, that would have been something of worth, but instead it is something to be. That is not why I came all the way here.”

  She gasped. “No it is not. You came here to grieve with me and to visit father’s grave. To be home for a time.”

  “Yes. Yes, right. I must get a drink,” he said moving out the door

  “But what...?” but it was no use, he was out the door. Hilda was stunned, for she had never seen that side of her step-brother and it frightened her greatly.

  Two days later, she woke to find Euron up early. He moved about the cottage packing saddle bags.

  “Euron? What's happening? What are you doing?” She asked, wiping the sleep from her eyes.

  “I have to go back to Scotland. I am expected in a week. I was hoping to return with money from selling this farm, but that has not been as fruitful as I expected.”

  “Selling the farm? What? I do not wish to sell this farm even if we did own it. It is our home.”

  “Not anymore. Get dressed.”

  “Why? I can go to my aunt and uncle's by myself later, I do not need to be escorted.”

  “You are not going to your aunt and uncle's, you are coming with me.”

  Her green eyes grew wide. “Scotland? I have no wish to go. I will stay here.”

  He stopped packing, and looked at her, taking a few steps toward her. “Do you know why I wished to sell this farm? It is because I owe a substantial amount of debt to a very dangerous man.”

  “Debt? For what?”

  “Let's just say I have not been a lucky man at the tables.”

  “Gambling? Father taught you not to gamble, it is very dangerous,”

  “If I do not pay this man then I cannot return to my post in the army, and I will not have suffered everything that I have gone through the last year's not to make captain. I will stay in the army long enough to be promoted to that position. But I will not be if I abandon my post, and I cannot return to my post without paying the money I owe.”

  “But you are not able to sell the farm? What do we have here that you can sell, there is nothing but pots and pans?”

  He moved closer to her. “Do not devalue your worth little sister, tell me you are still a virgin, are you not?”

  She gasped. “How dare you speak to me in such a manner?”

  “Oh and you speak so eloquently now. I wish that I could thank that morsel Adeline for teaching you such manners, for you will fetch a high price, or an even trade.”

  “That is enough. Do not tease me about such things. If you are leav
ing then go and be off with you. I will not stand here and allow you to talk to me in such a way.” She turned on her heels.

  Whack! Everything went black.

  A cold breeze brushed her cheek, stirring her, but it could not be the cold air of the night, could it? Hilda remembered nothing, and as she slowly awakened, she felt that she was jostling back and forth. There was a strong presence behind her, against her back. Her eyes opened, and she saw darkness in front of her.

  But she could make out the lines of an animal, twas a horse, and she now knew that she was riding on the back of one. She lifted her hands to brush the sleep from her eyes, only to realize that they were tied together at the wrists.

  “What? What is this? Why are my hands tied?” She said.

  “Oh, she has finally awakened. I am glad for it. I was beginning to fear that I hit you too strongly; couldn't have you being lame.” Euron said. He sat behind her on the saddle, with one arm around her waist and the other hand on the reins of the horse.

  “Euron, what are you doing? Have you lost your mind?”

  “No, I believe that I am thinking quite clearly now for the first time in a long time. This might be a good turning point for my life, after all. Pay off this debt, move forward, become a captain, and marry wealthy. That is the new path I see before me and it looks quite promising, all thanks to you, step-sister.”

  “Let me go, this is absurd. People will be looking for me, you are a vile creature,” She said, beginning to struggle and get loose.

  “Now stop that, unless you want a hit on the back of the head again. The first blow did not draw any blood, but I cannot promise that about the second,” He said.

  Hilda stopped struggling, and grew cold. How could this be happening? How could she have judged her brother so wrongly all these years? He was not always like this, she had known him since she was ten and he five and ten years of age, lived with him for three years before he left to join the army at eight and ten years of age.

  Yes he was rambunctious and reckless, but not of mean vicious character. Suddenly she realized that he had been a stranger to her for the last few years, for he had only come to the cottage for a month or two out of every year and not longer, and was hardly home during that time. What had he become while absent from home? He was not the man that her father had raised. He had become something else, something much more sinister, and now she was in his grasp.