A Farm Girl's Despair (#5, the Winds of Misery Victorian Romance) (A Family Saga Novel)

by Dorothy Green

  “Yes he is, Mama. I am happy for his invitation.”

  “And to come all this way out to Hampstead to give such an invitation. That is quite the effort and shows that he values your attentions greatly, for he must have a home near Westminster since he is an MP,” Mrs Layles said, escorting Gemma to the parlour.

  Hilda followed; her annoyance had not yet subsided.

  “Yes I believe he does Mama,” Gemma said. “I am happy he came to invite Hilda and I.”

  “Yes, and speaking of that, I am perfectly capable of answering such invitations myself, mother,” Hilda plopped onto the bench settee.

  “Don’t be silly, Hilda. I know you can speak and have a mouth on you, but I would not dare run the risk of you saying no and making it awkward for all.”

  “I would not say no, Mama; of course I would do anything for my sister, but you must respect that I have a mind of my own, it is high time,” Hilda said.

  Mrs Layles turned to her in astonishment. “And you shall have respect for your elders and mother. Why child do not talk back to me in such a way? You do not know what is good for you. Mr Crossbury must very well know many outstanding gentlemen and will in time be a ways of an introduction for you to meet such men. And you will meet them, child; I shall make sure that you do.”

  Hilda pursed her lips together to restrain the retort that wanted to escape, for she could not bear another attempt by her mother to control her again. She had enough of it.

  “Mother, what ever shall I wear? I have nothing that is flattering, for riding that is,” Gemma said as she looked at Hilda trying to redirect the conversation, because she could see that Hilda was suffering.

  “Oh yes my dear, what shall you wear? Oh you do not have a blue riding coat that would bring out your eyes. A blue riding coat with a blue hat it is a must. Oh, what if he sets up tea after riding then you will need a sufficient dress underneath as well,” Mrs Layles said the statement in such a flurry, you would assume she was speaking of some emergency or another.

  “Good thinking, Mama,” Gemma said.

  “I will go to your father directly and see if he will take us to Bond Street for the occasion,” Mrs Layles said, walking toward the door. “And I shall ask for you too Hilda, though I see no need for you to have new things since you are quick to give retorts to your mother and Mr Crossbury is not lavishing his attentions on you. It is best that you be invisible so he may concentrate on Gemma, but then again we do need to keep up appearances for anyone that might be at the riding stables that day. We cannot have people saying the Layles sisters are unkempt,” she said, going out the door and closing it behind her.

  Hilda sighed, “Thank you, Mama.” In the most sarcastic manner imaginable. Then her gaze moved to Gemma.

  Gemma tilted her head in comprehension of her sisters feelings. “Oh dear Hilda I am very sorry for that.” She moved to take her sister’s hands and sit beside her.

  “Do not be. It is not of your doing, only Mother’s.”

  “I know, but she can be harsh with her tongue at times. It was wrong of her not to allow you to converse with Mr Crossbury and answer his questions directly, but you know how excitable she becomes.”

  “Yes, all too well, sister.”

  Then Gemma was silent for a moment as she looked over her sister.

  “What? What is it?” Hilda asked knowing her sister’s inquiring glances all too well.

  “It is just that, even though mother is at times unbearable with her ways, perhaps she does have a point,” Gemma said.

  “And what is that precisely?”

  “Just that Mr Crossbury is a gentlemen in Parliament and I am sure that he has good relations with well-to-do men. It cannot hurt for you to meet some of them on friendly terms at my side while I allow Mr Crossbury to court me,” she said.

  “Yes, but do you not see that is another way for her to exude her control over me and who I shall marry? She will give my hand to the first friend Mr Crossbury has and not allow me to choose for myself from amongst his friends, if indeed he has a friend of my liking,” Hilda said. Though as soon as she said the words she thought of Ross. She already knew that he was indeed acquainted with him because he had already said as much. He would be the only friend of Mr Crossbury’s that she would want to think of as a future husband, and that was out of the question because he was already engaged. A sadness took over her.

  “Then it is good that you shall meet Mr Crossbury’s acquaintances while you are at my side, and not when Mother and Father are present. Is that not a good thing that we are going riding with him alone? The Greenery Stables are a public stable that gentlemen do house their horses in for riding in the park, be glad that she will not be there and any introductions made will not be under her eye. If you do not like any of his acquaintances, she does not have to know that you met any at all and therefore you will not be pushed by her to pursue the acquaintance,” Gemma said.

  Hilda arched her brows at her. “Sister. you do astonish me every time with your way of seeing the positive in everything. Yes I agree with your sentiments on the issue. It is better I meet Mr Crossbury’s friends without Mama. True, you are correct.”

  “Oh good, then you shall be as excited as I am then for Saturday. Please say you are excited now, for I do not want you to suffer so,” Gemma gave her sister a hug.

  Hilda laughed. “Alright, I am excited. You hug me too tightly,” she giggled.

  “And you will be excited shopping for riding clothes together and we shall make a day of it as sisters together, and have fun and perhaps stop at the sweet shop. A day of play?” Gemma hugged her sister tighter, furthering the joke more.

  “Yes, yes, whatever you say sister, for you will have me pop from my corset,” Hilda said loudly.

  Gemma stopped the embrace and the two fell into a laughing fit in the parlour.

  * * *

  chapter

  2 9

  * * *

  Saturday arrived as quick as may be, and Hilda had quite a nervous feeling in her belly as she sat across from her sister in the carriage. The Green Stables were on the south side of the Hampstead Heath village, near the open fields and hills of the park. Therefore twas not a long ride at all and Hilda would much rather be in for a longer journey.

  “I do hope my hat is secured right. How embarrassed I will be if it flies off while riding. You know that I am not confident on my seat as it is,” Gemma fiddled with the hat.

  “You will do just fine. I am sure that Mr Crossbury does not expect to race you, therefore having the modest riding skills you have will be applicable,” Hilda smiled, slightly teasing her sister.

  “I wish that I rode as well as you Hilda. You have a very fine seat and I daresay will put me to shame.”

  “Do not trouble yourself sister, as I mean to do as mother bid me, and be as invisible as possible. Perhaps I will blend in with the horse in this wine coloured riding habit,” Hilda laughed.

  Gemma laughed as well. For both ladies looked quite fine in their riding habits. Gemma’s was, as promised, a dark blue with matching hat that complimented her blue eyes very well. Hilda’s was a wine coloured maroon with a black hat. Both had the refined and polished look of being brand new and no one who came across them would ever question their status of wealth.

  “Do you suppose Mr Crossbury will be waiting?” Gemma asked as she looked out the window as the carriage rolled up to the welcoming building of the stables complex.

  “I do not know. If he’s a gentlemen that he will be waiting outside or just within the reception of the building,” Hilda said as she leaned forward with her sister.

  “Oh! Look Hilda, he is waiting, such a gentleman he is. And who is that fine gentleman next to him? Is that-?”

  “The MP of Cornwall!” Hilda said. For she was astonished to see the man she held affections for, standing next to Mr Crossbury. She knew of their relations and assumed in time she would see Mr Brookend, but not today! The heat rushed over her body and she had to restrain
herself from her sister’s inspections and act as though this was of no circumstance at all.

  “Oh how fortunate! Mama and Papa will be delighted to hear that we re-established that acquaintance today, for he must not be riding with Mr Crossbury. I believe he probably just came upon him as Mr Crossbury waited for us,” Gemma said. “Never the less we cannot escape now as our carriage has arrived. Quickly, how do I look sister?” Gemma leaned back into her seat and looked at Hilda with shock.

  Hilda smiled. “You look lovely. Not a hair goes astray.”

  “Good. Alright, this is it,” Gemma said.

  Hilda took a deep breath and she was glad that her nervousness for seeing Ross again was concealed by a general over all nervousness between the two sisters for their outing with Mr Crossbury. For she did not want her sister to know the truth, that the man standing with Crossbury was the very man that had held her heart for many years, and there was no way that she could ever have his. The smile fell from her face as she considered this last thought, for what was the point in having any further interaction with the man at all, if it could only lead to disappointment and heartache.

  The carriage came to a complete stop and the door opened. A valet unlocked the stairs, rolled them out, and held out his hand for Gemma to take.

  “No, allow me sir,” Mr Crossbury said to the valet and promptly took his place giving his hand to Gemma to guide her down from the carriage.

  “Miss Layles, so lovely to see you again. Glad I am that you came,” he said.

  “As am I sir. Good day to you,” Gemma said, staring into his eyes as though he were the only man on Earth.

  Mr Crossbury cleared his throat and then moved to help Hilda out of the carriage. “Miss Layles, also a pleasure. Thank you for joining us.”

  “Of course, sir. Thank you for the invitation,” she smiled.

  The carriage then rolled away as the three of them stepped forward with Mr Crossbury leading toward Mr Brookend. “Please ladies allow my good friend the MP of Cornwall, Mr Ross Brookend, to ride with us. I hope that you will welcome his company.”

  Gemma and Hilda curtsied as Ross bowed with his eyes directly on Hilda.

  “Of course, sir. Mr Brookend is a good friend of our family and Hilda’s charge. He is most welcome always,” Gemma said.

  “Shall we take to the horses? It is a fine day for riding,” Adam said.

  “Yes, I am very happy to ride,” Gemma smiled at Ross as he put his arm out to escort her inside.

  Then Ross stepped next to Hilda with a grin and an arched brow as he also put his arm out for her. Hilda hesitated. How could she possibly touch this man and not have her heart fall to her stomach in the process?

  “Please allow me,” Ross said.

  Hilda looped her arm through his and felt the warmth of his heat radiate through her, and her knees grew weak. She turned to look straight ahead at her sister and Adam so as not to have to look into Ross’s kind eyes at such a close distance. It was too much for her and quite overwhelming.

  A vast field of rolling greens and dirt trails stretched out along the park, and that was where the entire party rode on their steeds at a slow and steady pace. The sky above them held a brilliant light blue colour with the afternoon sun almost directly overhead with not a cloud in the sky to beheld. Some would say it might be construed as a perfect day and Hilda knew that she would write that it was such in her diary when she later had her time with the pages.

  “Oh sir, I must apologize as my seat is not the most confident,” Gemma said to Adam.

  Hilda looked to Adam to see how he would respond so that she could judge his character and determine if he would indeed be worthy of her sister’s affections.

  “Please do not apologize for such a thing madam. For I believe you ride quite well and I am here and will not leave your side, you may trust me on that,” Adam smiled.

  Gemma smiled a radiant smile at his supportive words and Hilda knew that his supportive response was exactly the response she was glad to hear.

  “Thank you sir, that is most kind,” Gemma responded.

  “Do you enjoy riding, Miss Layles?” Ross asked Hilda riding beside him.

  “I do, sir. I enjoy it very much,” she said.

  “And she is quite good dare I say. Puts my skills to shame,” Gemma said loudly.

  “She grossly exaggerates my skill,” Hilda said.

  “You look like a fine rider to me,” Ross said, as his gaze moved up and down her on her mounted seat. Hilda inhaled a sharp breath of air and felt the colour rise to her cheeks. He was being most flirtatious and though she welcomed it, she knew that it was entirely wrong for he was engaged, after all.

  “Ross is a very fine rider. Any time we race, he always wins,” Adam said turning over his shoulder at Ross and Hilda that followed behind.

  “Oh, is that so? You always win?” Hilda raised a brow.

  “When I race Adam that is true,” he smiled.

  “And what about me?” she said.

  “What?” he replied.

  “Yay!” Hilda shouted as she spurred her horse into a full bolt toward the open field.

  “Hilda?” Gemma gasped startled by her sister.

  But Ross just grinned and spurred his horse into a full run after Hilda.

  * * *

  chapter

  3 0

  * * *

  Hilda lowered her head, leaning her body against the horses neck, whispering, “You can do it, keep steady,” to the horse. A smile was across her face for it had been so long since she rode like the wind, reckless and carefree. Not since she was on the farm in Hampshire. Joy filled her heart and she felt like a child again, playing races.

  She could hear the pounding hooves of another horse and she knew that it must be Ross coming after her. She laughed to her heart’s delight and eyed a finish line up ahead, a fence post that marked the start of a trail that cut into the woods.

  With a few more strides of the horse she reached the fence post and pulled the horse to a stop with expertise and skill. She turned over her shoulder, Ross pulled to a stop, very close to catching up to her. He was breathless with a dashing grin on his face.

  For a moment the pair locked eyes that danced with joy. Then the smiles fell from both of their faces as another feeling took hold. The air became rich with fire between them as they gazed into each other’s eyes.

  Finally Hilda looked away, for she knew that she had taken things too far with the MP of Cornwall, and had gone against every social law by engaging him in such a game.

  “I believe I won sir, now we should return to my sister,” she said as she maneuvered the horse in the direction of her sister and Adam.

  Ross trotted up next to her. “That was a fine race. I succeed to your greatness madam. Now, what have you won? Anything you wish from me you shall have.”

  Hilda turned to him with bright eyes, for she knew what she wanted from him but it was scandalous to say such things out loud.

  “Just your respect for my win is all that I require from you, sir,” she smiled. “Remember how you found me. I was a farm girl and that is why I have a confident seat, and I deserve respect for some ways that I was raised, do I not?”

  “That is all?” he arched a brow. “You mean to say that you would not ask anything of material circumstance from a man in my position? A necklace perhaps, or a jewelled hat pin for that brilliant hat you wear.”

  She giggled. “Not all women care of such things sir. The respect of a MP of Cornwall is more valuable to me than any of those things. Not to mention you have given me so much already, more than I could ever repay. You have taken care of me these past years.”

  “Well if that is what you wish, than that is what you shall have. You have garnered all my respect, ma’am,” he said.

  She nodded and then spurred her horse into a quicker trot to re-join her sister and Adam.

  “My heavens, Hilda. That was quite fast indeed. Are you hurt?” Gemma said with bright eyes.

 
; Hilda laughed. “I am quite alright.”

  “And I dare say a very fine rider. You licked my friend here and it is high time someone put him in his place,” Adam said.

  “Yes, and I have recognized the win of Miss Layles, quite right. She does have a very confident seat,” Ross said.

  “In that case, congratulations sister,” Gemma smiled.

  “Shall we partake in tea? I have had a service set out for us that should be ready in ten minutes,” Adam looked at his gold plated pocket watch.

  “Oh, that would be lovely, sir. Thank you for doing so,” Gemma smiled.

  “Right this way then.”

  Together the entire party moved back toward the building complex. Hilda rode in silence but could feel the very pressure from Ross’s eyes as he continued to glance at her.

  Hilda felt conflict stirring within her. She wanted to enjoy her time in the company of such a gentleman, but how could she when she knew very well that he was not at liberty to be flirtatious with any woman?

  I must treat him as though I was a gentleman myself and we are merely acquaintances, tis the only way to not think of him as a scoundrel. How would Miss Woodley react if she knew he continued to flatter me with compliments and smiles? That smile... such a handsome smile.

  Hilda sighed and moved to ride beside her sister until they came to an area set up with tables, where they dismounted and tied the horses to a fence post along a water trough.

  Within minutes they sat at two small round tables set side by side. The chairs were situated side by side to take advantage of the fair prospect of the fields and trees beyond as well as other riders in the fields.

  Adam pulled out a chair for Gemma and she sat with a smile. Ross did the same for Hilda and she knew that she could not protest and declare that she preferred to sit with her sister, for that would be too suspicious and possibly make her sister very angry. No, she needed to remember that she was there in support of her sister spending time with Mr Crossbury, and therefore she would take her chaperone duties seriously and with quiet. That was of course if she could manage such a thing, for the MP of Cornwall had a way of making her forget that he was an engaged and spoken for man.