A Farm Girl's Despair (#5, the Winds of Misery Victorian Romance) (A Family Saga Novel)

by Dorothy Green

“Yes indeed, sir. I myself have not been to a party at Sir Hubert's home, but I hear that it is quite delightful. That there is cards to be played, games of all sorts, dancing, and supper. It sounds like such a delightful diversion,” Gemma said.

  “Indeed it is Miss Layles, I dare say you shall enjoy it, as well as Adam. For he does enjoy playing card games. Might I also suggest a walk in the gardens, for Sir Hubert often has it lit during his parties for people to promenade and take a break. The most lavish and heavenly scented roses you will ever come across,” Ross said.

  “Then I shall take your advice sir, and do such a thing,” Gemma said.

  “Oh, the second course,” Adam said turning the parties attention to the servants entering with trays of roasted duck.

  Then Ross turned to Hilda, and quietly said, “As I hope you also will partake in the gardens also. For I know how you enjoy taking some air at these events.”

  “Yes I do sir.”

  “As do I, any way that I can escape the judgements of society, I take advantage of,” He said quietly as the roasted duck was placed in front of the guests. With the commotion of conversation over the food, Ross took it upon himself to continue to speak privately to Hilda.

  “If I may be so bold Miss Layles, to ask that you keep in confidence what I express to you earlier in the parlour. For it is more complicated than it seems on the surface, and that is all I can say on the matter.” he said.

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  Hilda turned to him with shock in her eyes, her lips parted slightly, and Ross looked directly at those lips, glad that he was in company of others or he would kiss her.

  Her shock subsided, and she looked down at her plate. “ Of course sir, it will remain in confidence.”

  “Thank you,” He said.

  Ross put his attention on the food in front of him, and quietly ate the roast duck. For there was much that he wanted to tell her, but he knew that he could not. He was cursing himself inside, for the situation he was in. It was his idea in fact to help Mary Anne in such a way, by becoming engaged to her, but he did not see it being a problem then, for Hilda had not entered his life.

  Now however, he wished that he would never have done such a thing, and found a different way to help Mary Anne. Still, even if there were a different way, he would not be able to convince his father to allow him to pursue such a woman as Hilda. For his father had made it known over and over since he were young, that he would marry a woman of wealthy means and a title.

  A woman such as Mary Anne had a dowry of 20,000 pounds or more, whereas someone such as Hilda would have no more than two thousand pounds, if that. Not to mention that her family did not hold a title at all, all things that his father would forbid him to pursue. So being engaged to Mary Anne would only be part of the obstacles of being with Hilda.

  But the more he became acquainted with her, the more he was apt to throw all of those rules out with the bathwater, and do as he pleased. He was never one to follow the smaller rules of society, so why not be scandalous, for love?

  After dinner, the party retreated to the parlour once more for a nightcap, and the men smoked cigars. Ross still had eyes for Hilda, as he spoke with Adam, Mr Holland, and Mr Layles, about something or other of politics, while the women sat around a table drinking sherry by the fireplace. At least now he knew that he would see her again at the party of Sir Hubert, but Miss Woodley would be in attendance as well, accompanying him.

  As he stood in the circle of men, puffing on a cigar, and listening to their words, he continue to look across the room at Hilda. She was absolutely radiant in that red dress, and he thought that red was quite the fashion colour against her pale skin and her ruby lips. How he wanted to be the one to buy her more red dresses, and jewellery to adorn her beauty. How could he possibly have that in his future when so many obstacles were against him, as well as scandalous secrets?

  Half an hour later, it was time to bid farewell as the dinner party came to an end. Ross escorted Adam to the foyer to bid goodbye to the guest, as Ross was going to stay behind and have some time with his friend.

  “Good night to you all, and Mr and Mrs Layles I am so very happy that you all came to dinner. I hope that we shall do it again soon,” Adam said.

  “Sir you are too kind, and we would be eager to accept an invitation from you,” Mrs Layles said. Curtsies and bows were exchanged. Ross stood directly in front of Hilda, and bowed in front of her, giving her a smile. He was glad that she smiled back, for he did not know whether he had lost her respect or Not by exposing himself in such a way as to say words that equated to the fact that he was unhappy in his engagement. He did not want to lose her respect. Therefore he was happy that she smiled in return.

  As soon as all had gone, Ross and Adam walked back to the parlour.

  “Would you have another Scotch with me, friend?” Adam said pouring the drink into two glasses.

  “Indeed I would,” Ross said taking a seat at the table.

  Adam took a seat, pushing a glass of Scotch in front of Ross, and then took a drink himself. Then he looked at his friend. Ross could tell he wanted to say something.

  “Out with it. For I can tell that you wish to say something by the way you look at me.” Ross said.

  “You bid me to invite you to this dinner, after you knew I had invited the Layles. I know very well that I should not, considering your behaviour when we went riding, with Miss Hilda. I do not know what to make of it, or of you Ross.”

  “What is there to make of it? Nothing. It is just a delightful dinner party, nothing more.”

  “A dinner party in which you make sure that you sat next to Hilda. Do you think that I did not notice your attentions to her?”

  “She is the only other young person at the dinner party. You gave your attentions to her sister, Gemma, would I have given my attention to Mrs Holland, Mr Holland? Mr Layles? And much more delightful company to a person of similar age I must say,” Ross said.

  “So that is it, you are going to continue to dance around the subject? You are going to pretend as though you do not fancy the girl? I can see it, Ross; in truth anyone that looked at the pair of you could see it.”

  Ross sighed, there was no point in continuing to dance around it as his friend said.

  “I confess I do fancy her, what is the harm in that?”

  “The harm is fat you are engaged. You are to be married to Miss Woodley. The harm is that I fancy her sister Gemma, and I will not have Gemma look down upon me because she thinks that I set her sister up in some sort of cruel trick. I do not want her to think that I helped you in pursuing false hopes of being anything more than acquaintances with Hilda.

  You continue to lavish attentions on Hilda and she will have hope that you harness true feelings for her, and that there might be something blossoming between you. Then you will chill to her when she realizes that you do intend to marry Miss Woodley, and you are just having fun before your nuptials. Hilda will be devastated, Gemma will be there to console her, and then being angry at you she will be angry at me. Therefore have a care Ross.”

  “You do not know of what you speak Adam. My engagement to Miss Woodley is... it is... well it is more complicated than it seems. That is all that I can tell you. I will not have you, a good friend telling me what I can and cannot do. As a marquis I get that from everyone, my father, my uncles, and society. I will not have it from you. Good night. Thank you for dinner,” Ross slammed the rest of the drink back, set the glass down and stomped out of the parlour to leave. He had enough of Adam. He was angry, because he knew deep down that Adam was right about all he had said.

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  Hilda spent the next day trying to retain a hold on her feelings about what happened the night before at dinner at Mr Crossbury’s home. She walked the gardens of her own family's home in Hampstead Heath in the early morning after breakfast. She was quick to
leave breakfast and needed moments to herself to process. For after dinner she had poured everything into her diary, but what usually helped, did not this time. She could not stop thinking of the words that Ross had said.

  She walked down a narrow gravel trail, the lavender was high on either side of her, but the fragrance, and butterflies that danced from one petal to another were given little notice by her, because she was so distracted.

  Whatever could his words have meant? His mention of not being happy about being controlled in the matter of marriage could only mean that he was unhappy about his engagement to Miss Woodley, but why would he say such a thing? Why would he say such a thing to her? Did he intend to give me false hope that the engagement might not last? If that were the case, she would be overjoyed, but if it were not then it was false hopes and he was playing with her heart, is scandalous man indeed and her sister would have been right of him. Oh, how she wished that dinner had not been called when it was, because it stopped me from being able to ask further about his meaning on the subject. Now, she would never know, all she could do is wait. But next week comes the party at sir Hubert's home, and he will be in attendance, possibly with Miss Woodley on his arm and it will be complete torture. Whatever should she do?

  Hilda found herself at the back wall of the gardens, indeed she almost ran directly into it because of her distracting. With a deep breath she turned and walked back along the gravel path, pacing back and forth from one end of the garden to the other. She knew that she must look like a chicken, but she did not give a care, considering she needed to walk the thoughts away.

  The rest of the week was spent no better. She went through the motions and could barely remember one breakfast from dinner at her home, but she was in a daze. She spent the time listening and nodding to Gemma as Gemma recounted her affections for Adam evident, but Hilda rarely spoke more than a few words for she was greatly distracted.

  Therefore, when the time for the party at the home of Sir Hubert came around, she was a bundle of nerves to say the least.

  Hilda walked into the party on the arm of her sister Gemma as they followed their parents into the salon. Hilda wore a dark emerald green dress with black lace and low plunging neckline with a coral necklace and matching earrings. Her hair was tied up behind her head and fell in ringlets, adorned with black beads. This was the wardrobe her mother bid her wear, not at all what Hilda had wanted to wear. For it was very much in the manner of the red dress that her mother made her wear to the dinner and also made her feel exposed.

  Gemma wore a light pink dress in the most delicate pale manner, that made her look very innocent indeed. White lace adorned the dress with elaborate intricate patterns, and the lace wove within her blond ringlets. She wore very simple jewellery of cobalt blue glass, that matched her eyes very well.

  As they entered the salon, it seemed that every gentleman stopped in the middle of conversation, and turned to look directly at the sisters. No, Hilda knew that the eyes were not meant for her, but for her sister Gemma. She did not like the attention herself and moved her eyes directly to her feet, her delicate green satin shoes we're now her focus. It grieved her deeply because she would like the opportunity to look about the room and see who was in attendance. But since eyes were on Gemma, she had no wish to meet those eyes in an awkward moment and have a gentleman look at her with a look upon his face that said, sorry I did not mean to lock eyes with you, for I was looking at your sister.

  “Welcome Layles family,” Sir Hubert himself came directly to Mr and Mrs Layles, and greetings were exchanged as well as between the sisters. Hilda's father was indeed on very good acquaintance with Sir Hubert, and they often played cards together. Hilda believed this was why he was very glad to see Mr Layles appear, for no doubt he was ready to whisk him away to the gaming tables in the next room.

  Now that the family was engaged in conversation, Hilda was able to look about the room. There were several banquet tables, piled high with all sorts of food and drink, Delicacies from fruit cakes, to fruit, to meat pies. Decanters of port, sherry, and brandy flowed freely into fine crystal glasses, and just beyond the ornate and gold gilded walls of the salon, were people milling about in two more rooms of the grand home.

  Through the open doorways Hilda could see that one room had a pianoforte, and a woman graciously displayed her talent, while a small group of five couples danced in a very casual manner. The other room, was occupied by eight tables with green felt tops, and some were already seated, enjoying games of cards, while others milled about the room watching and speaking quietly so as not to interrupt the concentration of the gamers.

  These sites would be very agreeable to Hilda, for she very much preferred a casual party in the salon then a grand ball like that of Lord and Lady Winton. She liked the casual business of manners present at a party such as this. But at the moment she could not enjoy it as much as she would if she did not have another agenda, to see if Ross was in attendance.

  Looking about the salon she could not see him directly, nor the face of Miss Woodley. But that did not mean that he was not in the gaming room, or the music room. She would have to wait until her family was ready to disperse into the party.

  “Now I must receive more guest Mr Layles, but do I have your agreement that we shall engage in a game of cards later?” Sir Hubert said to Hilda's father.

  “Indeed you do, sir,” Mr Layles said.

  “Good, then please, you and your family enjoy some refreshment. There are all manner of things to eat and drink, as my wife spared no expense.”

  “We shall sir, we shall. Thank you again for the invitation,” Mrs Layles responded.

  Then sir Hubert was off, too. Mr and Mrs Layles lead their daughters to the refreshment table to gather drinks and eat. Their acquaintances came upon them to have delightful conversations, and Hilda was trying to give each one her attention, but she could not stop looking toward the entrance.

  Then Gemma grabbed Hilda's hand, and squeezed it.

  “What is it, sister?” Hilda whispered. But she only had to follow Gemma's gaze toward the entrance to see Mr Adam Crossbury greeting Sir Hubert. He looked very dashing indeed in a dark black tailcoat, and white waistcoat and crew got to match. He looked very tall standing next to Sir Hubert, who was plump short and round.

  “Sister, how do I look?” Gemma whispered to Hilda.

  “You look very fine indeed, do not worry yourself sister. For every gentleman's gaze is upon you.”

  Gemma smiled. “Thank you sister. Now, I must not seem too eager. Come, take a turn with me,” Gemma said putting her arm through her sisters and turning her back to Mr Crossbury to walk toward the back of the salon and mingle with her dear friend Katrina.

  Hilda admired her sisters tenacity to play such coy games, but it was not the way Hilda worked, for she did not have the know how to do such things to gentleman.

  But it was not long before Adam was at an aside, and had engaged her in conversation, and convinced her to take a turn about the salon with him. Leaving Hilda alone, she felt quite awkward standing in the corner, fiddling with her black gloves. But it did make her very happy that Gemma had such a radiant smile on her face as she spoke with Adam. In truth she had never seen Gemma react to a man the way she was with Adam. Hilda knew that Gemma was quite on the verge of being in love with him, something she thought her sister would never allow to happen, for Gemma guarded her heart from all suitors that had come across her until that moment.

  “Hilda, Hilda, come here,” Hilda heard her mother whisper. Hilda took a breath and walked over to her mother, who was standing next to her father. However her father was engaged in conversation with an older man about the same age as he.

  Hilda took the few steps to her mother, dreading the conversation, for she knew it would be a controlling one.

  “Yes, Mama?” She whispered.

  “Your father converses with a new acquaintance, a Mister Drake. Oh, and he has been speaking of his eligible son, an up-and-coming banker,
of substantial means. They're not as substantial as Mr Crossbury, though I do not expect you to land a man of wealth such as your sister, for she is quite prettier than you. However that does not mean that you should not land a man with means to provide you a comfortable life.

  “His son is finishing up a game of cards now, and I dare say when he comes over you shall smile girl, smile at him directly. Take note of your sister’s flirtatious ways with Mr Crossbury, see how she smiles and leans forward. I expect you to do the same with the son of Mr Drake who goes by the name of Mr Ian Drake.”

  “But Mama, I have not even seen the looks of this man, what if he is vile indeed?”

  “You shall do as I say, girl.”

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  Hilda sighed and awaited her fate of meeting this Ian Drake, who was already gambling so early in the evening.

  “Here comes my son now, and by the looks on his face I dare say he has been very lucky indeed,” The elder Mr Drake said to Hilda's father.

  All turned toward the gaming room to see a very tall man with blond locks, green eyes, and very broad shoulders. He had a very delicious grin on his face as he walked to his father with long elegant strides. Hilda was shocked, for she did not expect the man to be handsome, yet he was and he looked to be a very joyful creature.

  “Son, I was just speaking of you to my new acquaintances the Layles, and here you are. Tell me, did you have any luck at the tables?”

  “Indeed I did, sir. I won a guinea; can you believe that?” He said happily.

  Mr Drake padded his son on the back. “I do believe it sir ,for you have always had the best of luck. Allow me to introduce you. This is Mr and Mrs Layles, and their daughter Miss Hilda Layles.”

  The group bowed and curtsied, and as Hilda rose from her curtsy, her eyes met the eyes of the young Mr Drake. His eyes seemed to sparkle and his smile widened.