A Farm Girl's Despair (#5, the Winds of Misery Victorian Romance) (A Family Saga Novel)

by Dorothy Green

* * *

  Once he arrived in London he went straight away to Mary Anne.

  “Ross, how fortunate to see you. I thought you were not returning to London for some months now for the season?” she said in the foyer.

  “A change of plans. Is there a place we may speak in private?” he whispered.

  “Of course. Most of the house has already set to get ready for bed. Let us go into the parlour,” she said.

  He followed her into the parlour as he gripped his hat tightly in his hands in a nervous manner.

  As soon as she closed the door, he spoke. “Mary Anne, I have unfortunate news. I can no longer go on with this false engagement.”

  “What? Why not? What has happened?”

  “I have fallen in love and I am afraid I might miss the opportunity to propose to the woman, and make my feelings known if I wait any longer. There are many that seek her affections,” he said.

  “Well, I am all astonishment,” she said, sitting down.

  “As am I. But I can no longer go on this way. We must call off our engagement and make it known, for I will be telling the lady all. I cannot keep this secret from her,” he said.

  “But you promised me that you would until Jonathan could...”

  “Get the finances together so that you could elope together. Yes, I remember, which is why I have brought you this.” He handed her a letter.

  She broke the seal and looked at the thousand pounds inside.

  “Ross? What is...”

  “It is one thousand pounds. A loan, that you need not pay back right away, but it is the least I can do so that you and Jonathan can elope and set yourself up; a life.”

  She gasped.

  “It is the only way I can set these right between you and I. Please say that you accept and that I am free of our arrangement.”

  “Are you sure? This is a substantial amount of money. I do not know when we should be able to pay it back,” she said.

  “I have no doubt that you will in time. I am sure of this. More sure than I have ever been of anything.”

  “Who is the woman?” she asked.

  “My charge, Hilda Carson. I love her.”

  She gasped again. “I see. Well then, I wish you all the best my dear friend. I will take your loan and I release you of the arrangement. Though do allow me to set the record on what happened between us. I must think through this,” she said.

  “Yes, as long as it does not tarnish my reputation too much, as I now may have a wife’s reputation to think of as well,” he said.

  “I understand. You have my word.” She stood up and gave him an embrace. Ross hugged her in return. He was very content with this outcome.

  “I must go.”

  “Yes, go to her, this lucky bride of yours. I hope that she knows what a great man she is receiving.”

  “I hope that she will see that too, for she has seen the most unpleasant sides of me.”

  “Then if she accepts you after seeing that, she truly loves you too,” she said.

  “Good night, Mary Anne. Do write to me and let me know.”

  Then he left the parlour and walked out of the house. The clock struck and he knew that it was very late indeed, and it would not be appropriate to show up at the Layles’ at this hour. He made way to his London home and set to see Hilda in first thing in the morning.

  That night, he did not sleep very well. He could not stop thinking of the moment he first saw her. She was but a young woman then, with her wrists bound, and a prisoner of her brother. How he wanted to hurt her brother.

  Then he thought of the moment he saw her again on the veranda and did not recognize her. She was radiant and beautiful and had grown into a captivating woman. He knew when he saw her with Ian Drake that he felt jealousy and had acquired feelings for her. Now he was going to set things right.

  The next morning, he dressed in his best waistcoat and tail coat. He set out from London on horseback instead of carriage as not to waste time in the late morning. He headed north to Hampstead Heath and arrived at the Layles home, feeling nervous, which was new for him. He was a man that charged into conflict without the slightest fear, and yet Hilda rejecting him had him quite nervous indeed.

  He arrived in front of the Layles home and dismounted, handing the reins to the manservant. He knocked on the door and braced himself.

  * * *

  Hilda had returned to the Layles home but a week before, filled with nostalgia for her home because of her encounter with the Duke. She had decided that it was time to return to see her aunt and uncle in Hampshire. She missed home dearly and wanted to see them again. Therefore, with the permission of her adopted family, she would be spending the last remnants of her summer with her real family in Hampshire.

  Her sister Gemma was still in Bath and was not set to return for another month for the season.

  That morning, Hilda set the finishing touches on her trunk. For she had made care not pack any lavish dresses. She only wanted very simple clothing to wear and not stick out as any person of importance in the village. She wanted things to be as they used to. Perhaps she would be allowed to work alongside Laura at the Inn for a spell as well.

  These thoughts had her very excited to start her journey away from London and to not think about anything to do with London, or Captain Brookend at all. For he had always been on her mind, after all that she had been through and all the men that had entered her life, he was the one that held her heart. With his engagement to Mary Anne, he would never be with Hilda, and she knew it.

  Knock. Knock. “Excuse me miss, you have a visitor downstairs.”

  “At this hour?” she said.

  The maid nodded. “Very well, I shall be down shortly,” Hilda said. She was already in her travelling dress and had no mind to change just to accept a very early caller. She checked her hair in the mirror and then went to the parlour.

  She opened the door. “You must excuse me, I was about to journey from London and...”

  Hilda stopped as the man standing by the window turned to face her.

  “Captain Brookend.”

  “Miss Carson,” he said.

  For a moment, they stared at each other. Hilda could not find any words, for she felt as if she had none.

  “You were saying? You said that you were journeying from London? Today?” he said stepping toward her.

  “Indeed. I am leaving today to journey to Hampshire to visit my aunt and uncle,” she said.

  “I understand. May I have a word with you before you go?” he said.

  “Yes, of course,” she said taking a seat.

  He sat down as well. Ross cleared his throat and began. “I must apologize. Indeed I have much to apologize to you for.”

  “I am listening.”

  “The way I spoke to you in the gardens that night. That was uncalled for and it was my jealousy speaking. For you have captured my heart and seeing you with another man stroked my fire of envy.”

  Hilda gasped.

  “And too, I felt hopeless to do anything about my feelings for you, because of my engagement to Mary Anne. But that is what I came to tell you and hope you could find forgiveness. My engagement to Mary Anne is a false one.”

  “False?”

  “Yes, a favour. She very much desires to elope with a man that her parents do not approve of and will cut her off once they know. They had been trying to marry her to another, therefore we entered into an engagement so that her true fiancé could have more time to come with the finances needed to support her, as he is not a man of great wealth, but a good man.”

  “So you are not engaged?” her eyes were wide.

  “No. Never was. Twas false and as of yesterday we broke it off officially. I gave Mary Anne and her fiancé finances to elope and set up a life, so that I could be free to do as I please.”

  “And what is that?”

  “To ask for your hand in marriage, Hilda. I love you. I think I have always loved you. I know that you think me an awful man; moody and temperamental
, but I hope that you might at least consider me.”

  “Marry you?”

  “Yes, will you marry me? Will you be my wife and make me the happiest man?”

  “Oh, Ross. I never thought that it was possible.”

  “Do you have any affection for me? Or do I imagine it all?”

  “I do have affection for you. I have great affection. I love you; I have since you first rescued me, and that has never changed. I have always loved you.”

  “Oh, Hilda,” he said, taking her hand.

  “It is true,” she replied, with tears gathering in her eyes.

  “And my question? My proposal.”

  “I accept. I will marry you, Captain.”

  “Thank the Lord,” he said. He pulled her to him and embraced her. Hilda put her arms around him and held him close. She had not been this close to him since they danced, and much time had passed since then.

  Then he looked at her and placed his lips on her. Fire erupted between them as she felt his soft full lips against hers. She had been kissed many times before, but this was quite different. It was as though the kiss radiated through her body and filled it with burning embers. This was her true match, her rescuer.

  Hilda parted her lips slightly as she kissed him back and breathed in his scent, manly and heady.

  “Now, do you think you might delay your trip? We can send for your aunt and uncle to come here, to attend the wedding. I want to be married as soon as they can get here, if that is alright with you.”

  She giggled. “Yes, I think that could be arranged. I dare say the news of your engagement broken to Mary Anne and an announcement of marriage to me will be quite the news on everyone’s tongue.”

  “And do you care of gossip to let it stop us being together as quick as may be? For I will wait if that is what you wish,” he said.

  “I do not care. Do you forget? I am a farm girl, sir. I have been through many scandalous things. Idle gossip does not scare me in the least bit. I want to be married as soon as possible.”

  He kissed her again. “Then, how about instead of sending yourself to Hampshire today, you send a letter asking when your relations might be able to come here, so that we can set a date?” he said.

  “I think I can do that. I can do anything now that I know that we are together, it makes me stronger.”

  “And you make me a better man.” He kissed her again.

  Hilda melted into his arms, and into her future.

  * * *

  epilogue

  * * *

  Hampshire, England

  Summer, 1873

  “This is quite the tavern,” Ross said, as the carriage stopped in front of Green Tavern.

  “Yes it is and I love it so. I wished that we could stay more than one night,” she said.

  For they were on their way to Brookend Estate in Cornwall as Mr and Mrs Brookend after the London season had come to an end.

  So much had happened in the months since their wedding. Not only had they become married but her sister Gemma had become engaged to Adam Crossbury. All seemed well and content all around, and indeed Mrs Layles was quite tickled with happiness at her daughter’s and adopted daughter’s fortune.

  “There she is, Mrs Brookend, my little spitfire!” Angus said as they entered the tavern.

  “Uncle! I am so happy to see you!” She ran to him and embraced him. For he and Laura had come to London for the wedding but she had not been home in so long.

  “Lord, you have not been in this tavern in years,” Laura said, coming out of the kitchen.

  “And you sir, you are most welcome. Come in, come in, you are family now,” Angus said, shaking Ross’ hand.

  Together they settled in at a table and ate and drank merrily. But after they ate it was still early afternoon and Hilda had one request; she wanted to ride out to her old farm house, just to see it.

  Of course Ross obliged and together they went on horseback. As soon as Hilda saw the cottage on the horizon, her eyes watered. For it held so many memories, good and bad. She thought of her father first and foremost and how much she missed him. She wished that he could see her good fortune and be proud of her. But how different her life would be if he were alive, for she would have stayed in the country and married a rural farmer. She never would have met Ross had her brother not abducted her. Such a vile action had a wonderful outcome, and was hard to fathom.

  They arrived, but stayed a distance. Hilda saw just how small the cottage was as she remembered it being so much bigger when she lived there. Now it seemed so small indeed. Just then, the door burst open and a small child ran out onto the front lawn. A father ran out after her, playing along. They laughed and smiled.

  A tear rolled down her cheek at the sight. For that had once been her and her father. But it made her happy to know that the cottage was getting used by a family filled with joy.

  “I am ready to go home now,” she said to Ross. “My new home.”

  “Our home,” he said.

  “Yes.”

  Then they turned and rode back to the tavern where they spent the night and then left the next day to Cornwall to start their new life together on the high cliffs overlooking the sea. The sea that she had met the same day she met Ross. She had never been so happy in her life, and now it was all worth the misery she had endured. For her life had become an adventure, just like the books she read when she was young.

  I hope you have enjoyed reading the story. . .

  A Farm’s Girl Despair is Book 05 in The Winds of Misery series.

  If you have enjoyed reading it, I believe you will enjoy reading the next book.

  All you need is to turn the page and get the sneak peak first hand of the book.

  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

  PROLOGUE

  Hampshire County

  Sacred Heart Convent

  Lillian Randall looked upon her reflection in the beveled mirror that sat atop the meager table in the room she shared at the Sacred Heart Convent. Her rough wool dress was tied back at the waist, and she did her best to push her chestnut hair back into the pins on her head.

  This was an important day. It was the day a handsome gentleman was making a large donation to the poor and desolate orphans at the convent, such as herself. She pushed her hair away from her face feeling quite unsure of herself.

  This is it. You are six and ten years of age and it is time for you to be bold and make a new friend. Lillian tried to convince herself that it was inevitable she should. It could not be coincidence that this gentleman happened to be in this part of the country at this time.

  Her acquaintances of her age and even younger were excited to one day leave the convent and could not wait to be out, but she felt quite the opposite. She felt that marriage was in her future, but very far away.

  She was not ready to give up her freedom to anyone, and definitely not ready to be a wife. Nor did she want to leave the convent and the sisters she looked upon as family. She was quite comfortable in this environment and hoped to live on and be a person of help at the convent, maybe even become a nun in later years.

  Therefore, she saw fit to become friends with the handsome gentleman, if just to be on good terms with him. One day, it might be her arranging his donations. She had helped with the unloading of the charitable goods on many occasions, but she had never spoken to the man himself.

  You can do this, Lillian. All that is required of you is to simply attend the unloading and get it over with. Once she was done with the pep talk to her own reflection, she turned away from the mirror and made her way downstairs to the drawing room to fetch a book and sit outside to wait.

  ‘My, Lillian, you look very pretty today’, Sister Mary said as Lillian walked into the drawing room.

  ‘Thank you, Sister. I did not know the drawing room was occupied. I only came in here to borrow a book to read while I sit outside to wait for the arrival of the charitable goods so that I may be of service. I can help unload and stoc
k the convent’, Lillian said.

  ‘That is very good of you, dear. We appreciate your work around the convent’, Sister Mary said with a smile.

  Lillian nodded and slid a book off the shelf quietly. ‘Good day, Sister’.

  ‘Good day’.

  Lillian moved outside and sat upon the stonewall. It was covered in moss and gave a good view of the gate. She opened the book about maps and geography, as it was her favorite subject, but even her excitement for this topic could not keep her attention. Her eyes were on the gate.

  Finally, the sound of wagons and horse hoofs reached her ears.

  ‘He’s here’, she whispered. Immediately, she bounced off the wall and onto her feet. With quick, small steps she made her way to the storage houses where the wagons would stop for unloading.

  After a few moments, she heard Sister Mary’s voice at the gate, unlocking it with the help of a few other nuns and greeting the man himself, Mr Robert Christopher.

  Lillian fiddled with her dress as she waited for the wagons to be led onto the convent grounds and to the storehouses. A few of the hands that worked the grounds were at the ready and waiting, as well.

  Mr Christopher led his horse as he walked and talked with Sister Mary about pleasantries, and she thanked him for his generous contributions. Lillian could not take her eyes off the tall, young man.

  His light brown hair, blue eyes, and fine clothing gave him a sense of elegance that Lillian did not see while living at the convent, except from him. He had a manner of walking that was filled with confidence.

  ‘We thank you again, Mr Christopher, for your kind donations. They're always appreciated and get us through a season’, Sister Mary said.

  ‘It is my pleasure’, he said.

  ‘Oh, if I may introduce to you one of our residents who is eager to help, Miss Lillian Randall’, Sister Mary said.

  Lillian's eyes opened wide, for she was not expecting an introduction. She was merely expecting to have the opportunity to look at the man and admire him, not speak with him.

  ‘A pleasure’. He bowed to Lillian.

  Lillian curtsied in response. ‘A pleasure to meet you, sir’. She wanted very much to thank him for the consistent donations, but she knew not to speak more than necessary, something that was taught quite often at the convent.