Roamers (Book 2): Fear. Loss. Survival. Hope.

by Viper, Velveteen

  Scarlett’s lip wobbled and Riley felt an instant guilt. He placed his hands gently on her shoulders.

  “Listen, no matter what happens or what you do, I will always be here for you,” he promised. “Just remember everything you’ve already been through; every challenge you’ve overcome. Remember that you’ve dealt with people like Grey before and won. Mark in The City, his wife… You beat them, and you did it without it making you evil.”

  “I did it with Travis.”

  “Then you need to focus on getting back out there to find him and Hope.”

  “Maybe I’ve given up trying to find them. After everything I’ve done, I don’t deserve them, and I don’t deserve this baby.”

  “Of course you do. This is what Grey has done to you. He’s made you believe that all you’re good for is what he tells you to do.”

  “Do I really deserve the little girl that I tried to kill before she was born?”

  Riley stared at her, “What are you talking about?”

  “There was a horse near where we had our camp, between Bluehaven and the cottage. The day you sent me out with Travis to do nothing, he showed her to me. He taught me how to ride her. Then, when I found out about Hope, I went back alone and tried to…” she trailed off, but Riley didn’t need to hear any more. “Travis stopped me.”

  “Scar, I’m sure that at the time, your reasons were valid. No one expected you to be ecstatic about it; it was a shock and we were all in a bad place. Look, I know that you miss Hope and Travis. You want to feel needed. And you need to know that you’re still a good person. People care about you, Scar.” He took a step closer to her, “I care about you…” He looked at her lips, “I’ll show you.”

  Riley pressed his mouth to hers. A knee-jerk decision that he knew would change their friendship forever. Scarlett didn’t know how to react. Her first thought was to push him away; to ask him what the fuck he thought he was doing. But she didn’t. She reciprocated. She didn’t flinch when his hands rested on her face; his thumbs instinctively wiping away the tears on her cheeks. Instead, Scarlett closed her eyes and deepened the kiss.

  Riley suddenly pulled away, “Scarlett, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have--”

  Scarlett wasn’t listening, and she didn’t want to talk anymore. She pulled him closer by his belt, unbuckling it as she crashed her mouth against his again.

  Riley didn’t argue, and their mouths continued to move in concord while he led Scarlett backwards toward Grey’s bed. He laid her back and followed her, and her hands found the hem of his shirt. She broke the kiss to lift it up and over his head.

  She tossed the shirt aside and stared into Riley’s brown eyes, considering what they were about to do. He was right. She missed Travis immeasurably and was so desperate to feel the level of closeness she shared with him that she was prepared to try and find it with someone else. Consequences didn’t enter her mind. The last few weeks had made her permanently dazed; perpetually vague, and she hoped that Riley could provide her with some clarity.

  Scarlett ran her hands into his hair as he leant on his elbows above her.

  “I want you, Scarlett,” Riley breathed, leaning forward to kiss her neck. “I need you.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Hours later, Scarlett was wrapped in Riley’s arms. He was sleeping; snoring gently behind her. It wasn’t like being with Travis. Not even close. Her body had reacted correctly in response to Riley’s best efforts, and the tension had left her muscles for a while, but her brain was numb.

  Yet, at the same time, her mind had cleared. She felt sober; like she’d emerged from a drunken haze of control and remembered that she was Scarlett McKenzie. Riley was right. She missed Travis and Hope, and she was ready to persevere with finding them.

  Scarlett couldn’t sleep. As much as she wanted to, and as safe as she felt in Riley’s presence, she’d been having twinges since he’d rolled off her, and they were only getting worse. She tried not to make a sound, hoping that the contractions would pass; it was too early for real labour.

  Each time the pain stopped, she counted until the next one. She couldn’t be sure, but she guessed they were between four and five minutes apart. She reached for her jeans and pulled out her last blister pack of codeine.

  While she lay there, with the powdery bitterness lingering on her tongue, her abdomen tightening and another wave of pain washing over her, she prayed that the baby would hold on until they could be free of Grey.

  Riley glided his hand from her wrist to her shoulder and he lifted his head. He laid gentle kisses on her neck.

  “Hey,” he said soothingly.

  Scarlett quickly wiped away her pained tears and rolled on her back, “Hey”.

  Riley saw the moisture on her face and took a breath to speak, but Scarlett sprung out of bed at the sound of Grey’s voice.

  “We’re back,” he yelled, “I hope you’re hungry, McKenzie. You will not believe what we found.”

  Scarlett raced to put her clothes on, throwing Riley’s garments at him so that he could do the same. He obeyed, and they both sat on the bed waiting for Grey and Quinlan to enter.

  Quinlan was the first through the door, and he dumped his bag on the bed next to Riley and began emptying it.

  “Mills,” Grey said suspiciously, eyeing his tussled hair, “have you been keeping McKenzie company?”

  “Yes, sir. Sorry, Scarlett seems comfortable in your quarters, so I thought I’d join her until you were back.”

  “That’s okay, Private. Although, I did insist that she should be allowed some time to recuperate. I hope you haven’t been keeping her from resting.”

  Ethan threw a tin of pineapple chunks at Scarlett. She caught them and stared down at them. Thoughts of Travis flooded her mind, along with searing remorse, but she drew herself back when she realised that Ethan was speaking to her.

  “Huh?” she mumbled.

  “I said they’re to help get you started. Honestly, McKenzie, it’s like you never listen.” Scarlett looked at him, puzzled. “Apparently pineapples are supposed to help induce labour. That and sex, of course, but you wouldn’t want to try that with anyone here. You don’t know where they’ve been.” Riley shifted awkwardly on the bed. “You’ll be baby-free and back to normal in no time, and we can continue with our plans for the Headhunters.”

  “Baby-free?” Riley repeated. “What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Easy, Mills. I mean that she won’t be pregnant anymore. She’d been saying she was uncomfortable. I’m just trying to help her along.”

  “Yeah, well maybe you should think before you open your mouth.”

  “What is it with the hostility? I’m trying to help,” Ethan assured him. “Stop taking things so literally.”

  “At least let her make it to term before you serve her child with an eviction notice.”

  Attempting to break the tension, Quinlan quickly handed Scarlett a long piece of cloth.

  “It’s a sling. My wife had one for all our children. You can keep them close, and it’s really secure. Means you’ll have your hands free too.”

  Scarlett stood and made for Ethan’s bathroom, “I gotta pee,” she announced.

  She rested on the sink and laid one hand on her small bump. She felt sick. She wasn’t sure at first if the nausea was because of guilt or the baby, but she was becoming more and more certain that her baby was coming. She didn’t feel ready. She wanted to hold on until she’d found Travis and have him deliver it. But she knew she wasn’t that lucky.

  Scarlett didn’t want the others to know. Inevitably, Ethan would insist on being with her. He’d shut Riley and Quinlan out. And Scarlett had to admit, after that supply run with Ethan, she feared for the safety of her baby around him. She was aware that helping to raise another man’s child was not part of his plan.

  Looking down, Scarlett observed the darker patch on the crotch of her jeans and suddenly, any shred of doubt she had about whether it was real labour vanished.

&n
bsp; Before she had any more time to think, her knees gave way with the onset of another contraction. She kept a tight grip on the basin, squatting above the dirty tiled floor. Her eyes squeezed shut and she clenched her teeth together, trying hard not to make a sound, breathing through it until the pain stopped. In that brief moment, she called out for the only acceptable substitute for Travis.

  “Riley...” She tried to keep her voice level so as not to let the others know that something was wrong.

  Riley’s footsteps sounded outside the door.

  “Are you okay, Scar?”

  “Could you come in here for a minute, please?”

  Riley entered, opening the door just enough that he could squeeze through.

  “What is it?” he asked, closing the door.

  “Riley, I’m pretty certain that I’m about to have a baby.”

  “Right now? But it’s too soon!”

  “Right now.” Riley turned to leave. “No! Please, I just want you.”

  “Okay... what do you need?”

  “I don’t know,” Scarlett whined. “I need something for when it’s here. A blanket or something--” She was cut off by the pain of another contraction. “Oh, fuck!”

  Riley hastily grabbed the towel from the rail and shook it. A cloud of dust momentarily filled the small room. He laid it over the sink and knelt next to Scarlett.

  “How close are they? Do you need anything else?” he panicked.

  “About a minute now. I need something sharp to cut the cord, and I need to undress.”

  Riley began rifling through the cabinet above the basin, retrieving a pack of razor heads. Helping her to stand, Riley supported her from behind while she slipped her jeans and underwear off, immediately returning to her crouched position. She whimpered, desperate not to scream when she began pushing. She quickly realised that Quinlan and Ethan had heard.

  “Are you guys okay in there?” came Quinlan’s voice.

  “Yeah, we’re fine, Quin,” Riley answered.

  “Lock the door, Riley,” Scarlett demanded. He did so and returned to her side. Ethan was at the door. He knocked, again and again, louder and louder, twisting the handle. “Not now, Ethan,” she shouted. “Please, leave us alone.”

  “I want to help you, McKenzie. Let me in.”

  “Not now!”

  “Can I remind you that you’re in my personal bathroom, McKenzie?”

  She could no longer stay quiet. With each successive contraction, she pushed, making a little more noise each time.

  “Travis should be here, Riley, why isn’t Travis here?”

  “I know, Scar, I know. But you’re just gonna have to put up with me instead.”

  “I’m not ready for this,” she sobbed. “Please help me.”

  Tears spilled down Scarlett’s cheeks; a mixture of pain and distress on her face which was impossible to hide. Riley noticed and felt a stab of guilt on realising there was nothing he could do for her, other than be with her.

  Scarlett grabbed at Riley’s hand and squeezed as another contraction hit her.

  “I can’t do this, Riley. You were right. You were right about everything; I need Travis.”

  The desperation in Scarlett’s voice made Riley’s chest ache for her. His fingers were turning red under her grasp, but he didn’t mind.

  “Scarlett, if I could take this pain away, I would. If I could get Travis here in time to see his child coming into the world, I would. But I can’t, so for now, you have to concentrate on getting his son or daughter here safely.”

  Scarlett couldn’t respond. She yelped and screamed with the intense pain, instinctively reaching down; she could feel her baby’s head protruding.

  Riley took his cue and moved closer to support her. With his hands free, he hooked his arms under Scarlett’s to keep her upright and, after several more minutes of what felt like one constant contraction, she caught the infant in her hands. Scooping it up into her arms, she held it close and was greeted with a gurgled screech.

  Riley sat down and allowed Scarlett to lean against him before helping her wrap the baby in the grubby towel. They both ignored the rapping on the door and stared at the tiny human.

  Scarlett noticed that it was significantly smaller than Hope had been. She gently peeled back the towel to check its gender, and Riley set about freeing one of the blades from a razor head.

  “I’ve got a little boy,” she grinned.

  “You did it, Scar.” Riley shed a tear, grateful that she had allowed him to be part of such a huge moment. “What are you gonna call him?”

  “James. After Jimmy.”

  “I think that’s perfect. Shall we get him cleaned up?”

  Scarlett nodded and Riley sliced through the umbilical cord with the blade. Breathing through the pain, and with Riley’s assistance, Scarlett got to her feet. Riley waited by the door until Scarlett confirmed that she was ready to leave the room.

  “Sergeant Major, we’re coming out,” he announced.

  “He’s gone,” Quinlan said.

  Riley unlocked the door and gingerly opened it. Quinlan was sitting on the floor outside. He looked harassed, and got to his feet when he saw Scarlett.

  “Grey left when you wouldn’t let him in. Gave me a right hook on his way out too. He was pissed. Is the baby okay?”

  “He’s perfect,” Riley confirmed.

  “Listen, it’s only a matter of time before he comes back. We need to get the fuck out of here.”

  “It’s okay, Quin. I’ve got a plan,” Riley said confidently. “Scarlett, I know you’re scared, but I need you to cooperate with Grey for just a little longer. Apologise to him. Buy me a few hours and I’ll get us out of here without him following.”

  “Okay,” she agreed, holding her baby close, “but I’m not sleeping in here with him.”

  “Good. That would be a terrible idea considering what I’ve got planned.”

  * * *

  Scarlett allowed herself time to get composed. She washed, fed James and changed into loose fitting clothes. Standing in the dormitory bathroom, she studied her face in the mirror. She took five deep breaths, reaching deep inside for what was left of herself, and put on her game-face.

  Riley was waiting for her in the dorm, cradling the sleeping baby, and when Scarlett emerged, he put a hand on her shoulder.

  “I’m sorry that you have to do this, Scar,” he said, “I promise this will be the last time you have to be face-to-face with him. And I swear to God, I’m going to keep you and James safe. Until we find Travis and Hope, I’m going to look out for you both like he was my own.”

  Scarlett didn’t say anything for fear of losing her composure. She placed her hand gently on his and nodded, before making for Grey’s office.

  She knocked gently on the door to Grey’s office and awaited a response. None came from inside, and her whole body flinched when his voice sounded right behind her.

  “I thought you might be bringing your little bundle to see me, McKenzie.” Before she knew it, he was at her side unlocking the door, “Come on in.”

  Scarlett did as instructed but avoided sitting down. She was determined for this conversation to be a short one.

  “I’m really sorry about what happened today, Ethan,” she began, “It was all so fast, and I was scared. I didn’t mean to shut you out.”

  “Don’t mention it, McKenzie. I’m just glad that Midwife Mills was there to support you. How are things?”

  “Thank you. Everything seems fine. I had a boy, and his name is James--”

  “I mean how are you? When can you be ready to get back out there?”

  Grey’s uncaring attitude, despite it not being dissimilar to his usual disposition, had taken Scarlett by surprise. She tried to keep in mind what Riley had said to her when she responded.

  “Uh, shouldn’t be more than a couple of days.”

  “Great. In the meantime, you’re welcome to continue to stay with me. I’m sure we must have something resembling a crib that Riley and Qu
inlan can use for the baby.”

  “Actually, I’m going to stay in the dorms with them.” Scarlett saw a flicker of a snarl momentarily appear on Grey’s face, “He’s going to need feeding every couple of hours, and I don’t want him screaming the place down. Also, I’m sure it’d disturb your sleep if I were in and out of the room all night.”

  Grey stared at her for a moment and Scarlett did her best to look sincere.

  “Alright,” he finally said, “I suppose you’ve got no choice but to nurse it until we bring back some formula. I’ll send some men out tomorrow.”

  Not wanting to anger him, Scarlett nodded

  “I think I’ll hit the hay now,” she smiled.

  “Good idea. Goodnight, McKenzie.”

  With that, Scarlett left, releasing a deep breath when she closed the door. She walked speedily back to the dorm to find Riley.

  Before she entered the dorm, Scarlett stopped to listen to the hushed conversation coming from inside. She could make out Riley’s voice.

  “Go quietly. Exit through the front and get as far away from the building as you can, as fast as you can. Do not let Scarlett out of your sight.”

  “What if she won’t come?” Quinlan beseeched. “She’s going to want to wait for you.”

  “Then you pick her up and carry her.”

  They immediately halted their discussion when Scarlett entered. She furrowed her brow at them.

  “You both need to work on your poker faces,” she scoffed. “What’s going on?”

  Riley took a deep breath, “Close the door, Scar.”

  “You’re worrying me now,” she whispered, doing as Riley had asked.

  “Don’t be worried. I won’t let anything happen to you. I just need both of you to stay awake tonight. I’m going to get you and James away from this place and that man.”