by A. K. Koonce
“Then I want to help us. I want to help the mortals. I’ll—I’ll talk further with Asher, but I wanted to tell you I can’t sit back and wait. I want to help.” A quietness seeps through the room for just a few beating seconds. “You’ll always have me, Fallon. We’ll always be friends.”
My chest aches, either from lack of air or from his words, I’m not sure. Our childhood together slashes through my mind. It feels like just yesterday, but the distance between now and then is too far. We’re too far apart now. And yet, he isn’t leaving, he’s ignoring everything he was raised to believe for me. Too bad he’s too late to save the mortal girl he remembers in his mind.
The stillness of my heart becomes so loud in my ears that it’s all I can hear even as he walks away. I exhale the breath I was clinging to, and my hands begin to shake until I wrap them around myself, hugging myself. I stand like that, alone in the dark, for so long I begin to think I might never move again.
The door creaks, scraping against the floor as it’s pushed aside, shaking me from my solitary thoughts. I blink a few times, realizing how wet my cheeks feel against my lashes before Asher’s striking features clear through the shadows around me. The sunlight filters down from the deck up above, dancing through the darkness, daring me to cross the room and touch it.
My fingers dig into my arms as I hold myself even tighter, my breath catching once again. Sharp teeth cut into my lip as I bite back all the things I threaten to say to him to get him to leave.
With heavy and cautious steps he comes to me. His strong arms wrap around me, enveloping me in his warmth.
I tilt my head into his chest, refusing to take the comforting breath I need, choosing the safety of his presence over the air my lungs crave. His hands drift up and down my spine, calming me the longer he holds me.
I should tell him to leave before I hurt him. Selfishly, I curl into him a little closer. My arms stiffly untangle from myself as I run my fingers down his solid chest, my nails biting into his hips as I pull his hard body against mine. My eyes drift close as I settle in against him.
Just like I used to.
“You should go,” I finally say in a clipped and defeated voice.
One reluctant second passes before he nods, his palm smoothing down my messy hair before pressing a soft kiss against my temple.
And then I’m alone again.
Chapter Nine
Jealous
Asher
The moment we reach the safe, rocky shore of our homeland, Fallon settles back into her basic routine of ignoring me once again. This time it isn’t just me. She’s ignoring everyone now. I haven’t seen her in two days.
Which brings me to my dangerously stupid hike through the Wanderer’s forest at two in the morning. Anything could be out here, especially after our less than friendly meeting in the Capitol recently. Fallon could be out here.
A growl scratches through the quiet air, and I’m unsheathing the sword before the source even comes into view.
In an instant Kaino pulls away from Shane, the two of them breathing hard as they look at me with the Crimson Sword pulsing red, a beacon signaling my presence. Their hair is disheveled, and a thin claw mark adorns the commander’s shoulder.
Awkwardness hangs in the air so thickly it even clings to the leaves around us. Kaino pushes his hair back, clearing his throat as we all wait for someone to say something. My breath begins to build in my chest.
I should probably… leave.
“Fallon’s staying with the witch near the Emerald Ocean,” Kaino finally tells me.
I lower the sword, nearly letting it thump to the ground as I nod.
“Sorry,” I tell them, my eyes travelling the darkness to avoid their hooded glares. “Thanks,” I add before turning stiffly away, concluding the most uncomfortable moment of my life.
***
Her lips part as soon as her big eyes settle on me in the doorway of the Infinity witch’s home. A bright orange robe is tied loosely at her waist, something the witch must have loaned her. The only thing that crosses my mind is how good the color looks against her warm complexion.
Her mouth is still slightly open. It’s as if she has too many thoughts she wants to say, but none of them are enough.
“What are you doing here, Asher?”
Apparently one of them is enough.
“I –” Just like her, I have too many mixed emotions running through me. I want to say whatever will make her look at me like she used to. I want to say whatever will make her come with me to find Atticus. I want to say whatever she wants to hear.
Instead I tell her the truth. “I miss you.”
Swiftly her arms cling around herself, wrapping the robe closer to her curves, keeping her body safely away from me. She doesn’t say anything, her eyes grazing the old wooden floor beneath her bare feet.
The space that separates us feels like miles, but it also feels too close.
I shouldn’t have come here.
“You’re staying here?” I ask.
It’s easy to know what Fallon sees when she looks at the Infinity witch. The comfort she finds in the witch is unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. Never once have I seen an Infinity witch befriend another mystic the way this one has. She’s different. But so is Fallon.
I can only hope the witch doesn’t make an appearance tonight. I can’t handle seeing my brother right now.
Trinkets are tacked to the walls. Endless amounts of ancient pottery litters the available space on all of the tables. Unrecognizable objects hang from the ceiling, creating a messy essence of the past all around the room.
“Kenzent offered to let me stay here. She … I don’t even realize she’s here most of the time. And she disappears so quickly I – I’ll never have to worry about hurting her.”
Does she worry she’ll hurt me?
A long and ceaseless breath leaves my tired lungs. The heavy winds of the ocean seem to pull it right from me. The breeze twists the loose strands of her long hair across her pretty face. Her hair is longer than I remember; damp locks dip down around her shoulders and arms. The usually tight curls are loose waves, demanding me to feel them between my fingertips.
“Her name’s Kenzent?” It’s the only normal thing I can think to ask.
With a small and genuine smile that ignites my heart, Fallon nods. My lips turn up with the sight of her beautiful happiness.
She’s happy here … Good.
My hands push deep into my pockets as I rehearse once more what I intended to say. “I think we should start searching for Atticus.”
Sharp, white teeth bite into her lower lip as her attention hits the floor again. I lick my lips slowly as I wait for her reply, my focus a little too attentive to the lip she’s toying with.
“We can leave tomorrow at dusk. Declan says he has an idea of where the vampires will be hiding while they regain their strength.”
She spoke to Declan?
I push aside the irrational spike of jealously that seems to invade my mind more and more lately. I nod, concentrating on the fact that tomorrow we’ll finally be leaving.
Tomorrow is the start of something I’m fully prepared for. Something deadly.
***
After the months I’ve spent with Declan, I’d assume I still wouldn’t want to rip out his flirting tongue and shove it up his own ass. And yet the urge still boils under my skin every time he so much as sends Fallon an overly pleasant smile.
Kaino and Shane lead our group south east through the moonlit forest, while Ayden and Declan keep my wife company. She seems to keep her distance from Ayden as much as possible as she chomps on the bones Declan supplies her with. As for myself, I retreat to the back of the group, sulking with a childish demeanor at how ridiculous my life has become.
I can tell Gabriel and Luca don’t want to hang around with me behind everyone else, but for some odd reason they do, matching my lethargic and pouting pace step-for-step.
“You’re overreacting,” Gabriel w
hispers to me.
I’m not an idiot. I’m fully aware I’m overreacting. It doesn’t change my behavior in the slightest.
Fallon glances back at us, her eyes locking on mine, her lips pulling down faintly. Rage burns through me as Declan skims his fingers up the inside of her wrist, catching her attention once more.
“We’ve got another twenty miles. Let’s take a break here and start back up in ten minutes,” he tells us as if we’re all just touring the countryside.
I close my eyes, dropping my backpack to the ground and walking away from them all, putting space between me and everyone else for the time being.
I don’t stop moving until I can’t hear his annoyingly instructing voice any longer. It feels like the forest is quiet for the first time in a long time. My mind is quiet as well.
A large tree trunk supports my weight as I slide against it, the bark biting into my back as I settle tiredly onto the dry ground. Leaves crunch beneath my boots as they skim across the dirt, my legs stretching as much as possible.
“What are you doing out here?”
Fallon’s question startles me, my attention swinging up to her in an instant. I swallow hard as I try to think of something to say that doesn’t sound entirely pathetic.
The silent woods wait for my reply, along with the confusing and maddening woman I love. She takes a few more careful steps toward me, her dirty boots nearly touching mine.
“Just needed some space, I guess.”
A long moment passes in the warm breeze. She assesses me while I wait for her judgment. Worry lines her brows as she studies me intently, her arms folding across her chest and bringing composure back to replace the minimal emotion she just revealed to me – as if her feelings are a weakness now instead of a normalcy of life.
A simple nod is all she gives me. One heartbreaking nod before she starts to leave. My stomach falls watching her turn away from me for the thousandth time. Without thinking, I grab her ankle and pull her back to me. The leaves shift beneath her stumbling steps. She’s all pushing arms and anxious breaths as she struggles to remain standing. A harsh landing is all that comes of her efforts. She lands in my lap, legs on either side of my hips. Her hand presses against the tree near my head to hold herself away from me.
Of all the things I thought might happen, her settling against me wasn’t one of them. My breath hitches when she lowers herself, relaxing her thighs against mine. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted her to remember she loved me. Once. She once said she loved me.
But she’s here now. And I’ll remind her any way I can.
Calm but eager hands slip up her thighs, grasping her hips and holding her against me. My eyes meet hers as I lean into her. Soft skin touches my lips for an instant, my nose skimming her neck, a familiar smell wafting through my memory.
The curve of her neck welcomes me as she subtly arches her back, her hand snaking out so fast I can’t even process the movement. Tightly her fingers dig into my throat, constricting my breathing ever so delicately.
Her strength holds me in place, threatening my existence as she brushes her body against mine. Her body betrays her efforts. Her hand holds me at bay while her chest pushes against me, closing the minimal distance between us.
“What are you doing?” she asks in a raspy whisper.
A careful breath meets my lungs as I push defiantly against her biting nails and press another slow kiss against her warm skin.
“Tell me to stop, Fallon.”
Neither of us moves for torturous seconds. Her grip loosens on my throat, her palm brushing up to caress my jawline.
A desperate breath shakes from my lungs before I place a kiss lower down the base of her neck. She leans to the side, granting me easier access as I trail farther up. A salty taste lingers against my lips as my tongue moves over her body.
Fingers slip through my hair as her other hand fists my shirt. Her breath falters as I kiss up her jawline, her body molding against mine. I feel the change before the switch ever flips. She inhales long and deep, a mixture of control and need in her unsteady breath. A sound I’ve heard hungry animals make just before death strikes.
I push back from her, holding her as far away as my emotions will allow me. Less than a foot of space separates us as I stare up into her blazing eyes, our hands still clinging to each other.
She swallows slowly, her eyes closing as sadness flashes across her beautiful face.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her. My heart crashes, free falling through my chest.
With the turn of the wind, she’s gone. I’m left sitting alone just as I was before. As if she was never even there.
Chapter Ten
Pleading Mercy
Fallon
Tension follows us on our journey. Everyone seems to be glaring at one another. The strangling need to wash away the thoughts of bloodlust bite through my mind with every passing hour.
I settle into a shallow cave just before the sun rises. I press my back against the cool wall as I lie on my side, waiting to see the warming light I’ve come to miss so much.
A diluted hue of the rising sun sneaks into my safe haven, lining the leafy floor with a beautiful golden cast of light. My fingers press against the dirt and smooth over the ground, my nails toying with the ray of sunlight.
Asher walks toward me, pausing just outside the cave before lowering himself to the ground to lean against the cliff wall. Twenty feet separate me from him, but endless emotions cloud the space between us. The sunlight casts him in a warm glow that only heightens his good looks. He throws his arms across his knees, his shoulders falling with an unseen weight.
I pull my hand back to the safety of my chest. My eyes begin to flutter closed, willing my mind to push away everything in my life for just a few hours. The snapping sound of twigs breaking brings my attention to the outside world once more. Declan stands at the opposite side of the cave entrance. The two hybrids briefly acknowledge one another without speaking before Declan joins Asher, sitting opposite of him and crossing his legs as he tips his blonde head up to the morning sun. Asher’s narrowed gaze remains on the hybrid for several long seconds.
One of them is going to hurt the other. Maybe that’s their intention. Maybe they need to hurt one another to feel … balanced. The world is a teetering mess of politics, and yet the two mystics most alike in this world can’t find amity with one another.
I roll my eyes before allowing sleep to pull me away from their unreasonable behavior. The nothingness is a solitude I seek out too often now.
For once in my exhausting life, I dream of absolutely nothing. Peace is all that comes.
When I wake that is not the case. A splintering sound fills the air as my eyes fling open just in time to see a tree hurtling to the earth, crashing against the cave that shelters me. Its branches scrape down the rocky cliff until it settles with a booming thud in the dirt. Tangled branches nearly seal me within the cave, but my fingers break the strong limbs as if they’re nothing, pushing the large oak tree from my path as I make my way outside.
Asher holds Declan by his jaw as he pummels his fist into his face. A slick fleshy sound fills the air after every assault, but he continues with no restraint as he hits Declan again and again at the base of the now broken tree trunk.
My eyes shift quickly over the others. Kaino, Luca, and Gabriel wait with almost impatience for the quarrel to conclude. Shane actually has his hands in his pockets as he speaks casually to Kaino. Only Ayden seems alarmed by the outburst. The mortal runs his hand down his face as he shifts from one foot to the other, his wide eyes taking in every quick and violent movement the hybrids make.
Declan finally gets ahold of Asher’s shoulders, pushing him hard until the hybrid stumbles off him. A heap of dust billows around Asher as he staggers across the dirt. With deadly glares they stare at one another, each daring the other to finish what they started.
“You can’t even say it. Tell me you haven’t spoken to them since she was turned,” Asher demands
with a maddening smile, a detached and wicked grin that brings out his dimples. “You’re going to get us all killed. You’re on their side! Just fucking say it!”
Their side.
The skin-crawling image of Atticus’ hands cradling my head as he pressed his cracking lips to my neck slashes through my mind. My fingers skim my neck as the feel of his teeth sinking into my flesh becomes too vivid in my memory.
“You’ve spoken to them?” I ask in a confused but quiet voice.
Declan turns to me, blood staining the side of his face. His wounds have already healed, but the blood remains as a reminder of what just occurred. Dirt and leaves cling to his white shirt. Spots of red are splattered across it in an almost artful way.
Breathing hard, Declan glances around at the others. Each of them waits with narrowed eyes for the hybrid to speak. He swallows hard, his attention falling on me. A pleading look clings to his silver eyes in the moonlight. It’s as if he’s asking a vampire to have mercy on him.
That’s not exactly what we’re known for.
“Can you all just give us a minute please?”
“I’m not leaving you with him,” Asher says, refusing to move an inch as the others begin to depart.
A long and tired breath fills my lungs, and all I smell is their blood. Declan’s, Asher’s, even Ayden’s unshed blood claws at my senses. I swallow hard, trying to regain the control over my own life, my hands shaking at my sides.
“Leave.” The single word falls from my lips in almost a desperate scream, scattering up the cliffs around us.
Asher’s shoulders tense as he stares at the ground, his jaw twitching as he appears to let the silence pull at his mind. He meets my eyes, blinking rapidly as he tries to hold back the emotion that seems to be flooding his body.
“Are you trying to push me away?” Fear laces his words, the tell-tale sign of his heart soaring to life booms loudly through my ears. The hybrid that was once a mystery to me is very apparent now. He couldn’t hide his reckless emotions if he tried.