by A. K. Koonce
“Yes.” I say the simple word to hurt; I aim it like a dagger to his stomach. I say it to push him away. To save him.
The shock hits him hard, and his brows rise, his lips parting in silence. My own mortal heart quivers with regret within my cold chest, threatening to come to life once again.
“That’s all you had to say, baby.” The affectionate word is spoken in a familiar whisper, shaking over his lips, wounding me just as I wounded him. He blinks a few times, avoiding my impassive stare. His jaw tics as he brushes past me, leaving me alone.
Just like I said I wanted.
For a long time I don’t even know what to say. My feelings are a mess within me. All I can think about is Asher, but there are too many things in my way, things I have no control over. The only thing I can do is hope he still sees me. I hope he understands I’m not the woman he married anymore, but I’m still me.
Declan waits for my anger. He waits for my judgment. He waits for what might just be his death.
But it never comes.
He isn’t bad. I just know it. There’s something broken with him; I can almost feel his disconnected emotions spark to life; very infrequently but they’re there, deep inside him. Beneath the mistrust and bad decisions are sheltered emotions.
“Did you speak to them?”
He nods, his blonde hair brushing his brows as he looks to the ground.
“What did they say?”
A long exhale leaves his lips before he finally says, “They sought me out the morning after it happened.” He pushes hard at his hair, as if he might tear it out completely. “Their voices …” He swallows, blinking hard as he flings his head up, glaring at the heavens. “Their voices claw at my thoughts. Circling fragments of instructions. They’re easy to ignore during the day.”
Declan’s been awake more and more during the night.
Because of me.
Something in my chest shatters, breaking apart at his words. Because I’ve been there. Maybe they’re controlling him as they did me the night the curse was broken. Or maybe Declan’s just really, really bad at making life choices.
“What did they say?” I ask again, not allowing myself to become sidetracked.
A shuddering breath presses past his lips. “They’re waiting for me. For us.”
“For all of us?”
“No. Just you and me.”
My stomach twists, and I take a minimal breath as I try to pull more information from the reluctant hybrid.
“What do they want with us?”
He shakes his head hard and continuously for several seconds before finally walking away.
More secrets just crept into my life.
A breeze plays with the long locks of my hair, skimming familiarly over my skin until goose bumps trail across my flesh. The night settles in around me, cold and eerie, just a few miles from the vampires who are waiting for me
Chapter Eleven
Helping You Forget
Asher
Every step I take feels like a weighted walk to my death. Following Declan to the most dangerous creatures our world has ever known feels like seconds ticking down to our fated end.
An uncomfortable silence wedges itself into my chest. The tension breeds within me, making it impossible to even breathe.
We’re close, maybe just a few hours from them. Something in the way the hybrid’s eyes shift over the bluffs and treetops tells me, as if he’s waiting for something to drop down on us at any moment. The Crimson Sword hasn’t left my hand for hours. The pace we’re keeping to accommodate the human is unbearable.
“We’re almost there,” Declan announces, halting to address our scowling group. “Let’s take a final break. Check your weaponry? Prepare yourself.”
Without a word Fallon walks away from us, weaving through the endless trees, disappearing into the dangerous forest alone.
Gabriel quirks an eyebrow at me and shakes his head, as if he knows what I’m about to do before I do it.
In a flash of quick steps, I’m running after her.
In the distance I hear Kaino’s deep voice as he whispers in a menacing growl to who I can only assume is Declan. “If you put us in danger …” A pause drifts through the breeze. ”I’ll kill you.”
A smirk tilts my lips at his words, but it’s all forgotten the moment I see her.
Against the dry leaves, she kneels with her head lowered, her body shaking as she takes deep and empty sounding breaths.
My heart free falls and lands painfully at the pit of my stomach. I kneel beside her, my palm running up her back to try to pull her from her anxious behavior. I want to fix this, but I don’t know how. If she’d just tell me how, I’d do it.
“Can I just have a moment alone?”
Her clipped and muffled words strike against my chest, slamming into my heart. I raise my hand away from her, holding it in midair, unsure of my every move.
How long will she want to be alone? If we break the curse tonight … will she still want solitude over my affection? Over our relationship? Over us?
“I feel like I don’t know you anymore,” I say in a crackling whisper.
“I just want to be left alone, Asher.”
In a flash, she’s storming away from me. Moving so fast I barely see her blurred movements through the thick forest.
Again.
This time I won’t let her. I refuse to let her walk away from me – from us.
I push myself to keep up with her immortal pace, thin tree limbs snap against my flesh as I follow after her, gripping her wrist and pulling her to a stop as soon as she’s within my reach.
“Don’t!” She screams at me in a trembling voice, her hands fisting at her sides.
“Don’t what?” I take a daring step closer until I’m chest to chest with her, staring down into her glistening red eyes filled with sadness. She gasps at my closeness like my body touching hers causes her searing pain. “Don’t touch you? I’m not allowed to touch you now?”
If she hates me, then I want her to just say it. Rip my heart out in one quick motion; don’t drag it out piece by tattered piece. My blazing glare isn’t a match for her fiery eyes. Her breaths come in unsteady heaps, a mixture of anger and fear and something else filling her features as her chest brushes mine with every heavy breath she takes.
In one quick movement she seals her lips to mine, her fingers tangling through my hair and pulling me closer. She pulls me in in an instant with just a hint of her emotions.
For mere seconds I’m stunned before I close my eyes and attempt to fade into a past memory of us. My anger diminishes against her soft lips, vanishing away into another emotion entirely. My hands clasp tightly around her waist, aligning her soft curves against me. My heart beats a reckless rhythm for her.
She’s the same … but different. The confidence I always knew she had under her gentle surface now roars to life with her every action. The way she kisses me is different; controlling and dominant, anxious and rushed.
Her tongue slips against mine, guiding our pace as her hands run down my chest. They linger against my sides, her fingers tracing the scar beneath my shirt before passing lower.
She pulls away from me abruptly, leaving me gasping and confused. My heart aches when I see the look on her face. Her mouth parts as she breathes deep, uneven breaths. I can barely see the sharp angles of her teeth. She stares up at me with grief burning in her eyes.
The look crumbles my existence altogether. I’d do anything to erase it.
“What’s wrong?” I ask in a gravelly whisper, still clinging to her, not allowing her to slip away again. I have her right where she’s always meant to be, and she looks like she’d rather be anywhere else in the world.
She raises her hands, pulling away from me slightly as she covers her face with her palms. “It’s the blood. It’s making me crazy. It’s all I can think about. When I look at anyone – when I look at you – all I can think about is how warm your blood must be.” Her hands shake as she confesse
s.
Pulling her closer, I hug her, unable to stop myself. Her arms still shield her face from me as her muffled voice continues. “Asher, I’m going to end up hurting you.”
“Don’t worry so much, baby. I can take care of myself.”
She releases a slow, tortured breath. “If I could just have a moment without it consuming me. To think normal thoughts. To think about anything else for just a little while.”
An idea crosses my mind, and I’m already moving without further thought to the consequences. I release her and begin unbuckling my belt. The heavy black belt falls to the ground with the clattering sound of the Crimson Sword hitting the hard dirt. I waste no time as I lick my lips and begin unbuttoning my jeans. I watch her face closely as she lowers her hands, her eyes growing wide. Her lips part, freeing heavy breaths and the sight alone makes my heart beat harder against my chest, spiraling courage through my veins.
“What are you doing?” she asks in an almost fearful, breathy whisper, her eyes finally meeting mine.
A smile pulls at my mouth as I unzip my jeans and take a step closer to her. My eyes linger on her full lips as I say in a low voice, “Helping you forget for a few moments.”
I reach out to her, my chest heaving in a nervous breath as I move with steady hands. Gripping her belt in my fingers, her smooth stomach greets my knuckles for only an instant. I wait for a rejection, one I’m so sure will come. The feel of her soft skin against my fingertips spikes adrenaline through me, tingling over my skin and pushing wildly into my thrashing heart.
Just as I expected, her hands clutch mine, stopping me in my tracks. My pounding heart plummets like a comet dropping from the heavens, but I just nod as I start to step away. I lick my lips slowly, biting my bottom lip as I continue to nod, trying my best to accept rejection once more.
But then, she unbuckles her belt and begins working the top button of her dark jeans. My brows rise, but I don’t allow myself enough time for the surprised feeling to settle. I grasp her hips and push her jeans down her thighs as I press my lips against hers.
She shoves me against a nearby tree, and I lift her hurriedly until her legs wrap tightly around my waist. A moan slips over her lips as we fit perfectly against each other. Her body against mine ignites a feeling building within me. The problems of the world – of our lives – fall away from us.
“I can,” she breaks the kiss for just a moment, her eyes burning into mine, “I can hear your heart pounding.” I blink down at her, a bit of sadness filling the beats of my heart now. “It’s actually the only thing I like about my … condition.”
“Why?” I ask, realizing how off track we’re getting and wondering how long we have before someone comes looking for us. I readjust her against me, happy she’s in my arms at all. My thumbs begin to trail slow circles against her thighs, and her fingers trace the side of my jaw. A shiver runs across my skin as she skims my neck with her fingertips.
“It sounds like thunder almost. It threatens to overshadow my thoughts every time you look at me. It pounds so loudly that it distracts me from myself sometimes.” She pauses, and the hint of a smile touches her beautiful lips. “I always wondered how you felt about me. Now I can hear it.”
Slowly, I nod, understanding her completely. She leans into me, her breath catching. With more deliberate leisureliness she kisses me, a hint of our past poised against the caressing flick of her tongue.
Chapter Twelve
A Queen
Fallon
Suspiciously, I smooth my wild hair and tug at my tight shirt as I come back to our group. Asher strides by my side, biting back a smile when he glances at me. The look sends shivers down my spine all over again.
They stand in a small circle, and when I stop at Luca’s side she shoots me a wolfish grin that sends heat into my cheeks as I smile down at the ground. My attention lingers on the crisp brown leaves and the dirt that clings to my boots. The memory of his lips against mine sweeps through my mind for an instant before Kaino clears his throat, sending a speculating look back and forth between Asher and myself.
Perfect.
Luca lifts a delicate hand and plucks a crumbled leaf from my tangled hair, causing a bark of laughter to leave her lips.
Perfect.
“Ayden, I need you and Luca to solicit the surrounding villages,” I tell him, squaring my shoulders and trying to regain my confidence once again.
Ayden nods. His dark hair is still flawlessly combed, as if the last couple of days through the woods haven’t interrupted his polished routine. His black dress pants, on the other hand, are dusty and wrinkled, almost a reminder of our childhood shown in the simple blemished apparel.
“Rally them. They’ll trust you. A change is coming whether President Docile accepts it or not.”
Ayden starts to leave and Luca turns to follow him, but she rushes back, sweeping her long, tan arms around me in an instant.
For a second I don’t move, my breath held firmly in my lungs before I finally bring my arms around her as well, trying to find comfort in the hug.
“Don’t screw up,” she whispers into my hair, her arms tightening around me. “I’ll see you soon.”
I nod, understanding her statement entirely. Everything will be okay. I’ll see her again. The last remaining vampires of the world won’t stop me from seeing my best friend.
When she finally pulls away from me, Gabriel lingers at her side until she finally turns around, bumping into the hybrid. He licks his lips as he smiles at her, meeting her warm gaze at eye level. He takes her hands in his, his bionic hand slipping into hers.
Kaino closes his eyes and turns away, surveying the darkness with rapt attention as his sister leans into Gabriel.
“I wish you could see me,” Luca whispers against his lips, making everyone else slowly turn away from them as well.
His hair brushes hers as he leans his forehead against her temple. His palm runs up her jaw line, brushing his thumb across her lips. Gabriel’s usual sarcastic demeanor falls away. A weak whisper is all he has. “I see you better than anyone you’ll ever meet, beautiful.”
Happiness pulls at my mouth as I attempt to appear unaware of their quiet moment. I wish the moment could be longer for them. I know what it feels like to have time ripped away too soon.
A full smile lights up her face as he presses his lips against hers for moments that I know will be too short. My chest pangs, and I know from experience it will never feel like enough. Especially in the next few hours.
Asher’s fingers lace through mine, his warmth searing into me from the small and subtle contact. I squeeze his hand but don’t move closer to him. I can’t risk coming closer to him.
“You better get moving, Luca,” Kaino says in a deep voice as he studies the night, not bothering to watch his sister pull slowly away from the hybrid.
She pushes the commander’s bulky shoulder as she walks by. “I love you too, big brother,” she tells Kaino with a wink before jogging fearlessly into the darkness.
We all listen to the quietness for a lengthy moment, as if checking to make sure they’re okay even after they’re long gone.
“What are they doing so close to the mortal villages?” I ask Declan once Luca and Ayden are safely out of sight.
A strangling hesitation fills the hybrid as he looks off into the distance. The moon highlights his pale, intense features. He’s never looked more unsure of himself. “They’re regaining their strength.” His statement settles uncomfortably in the pit of my stomach. “By now they must have gotten a few easy targets; mortals who stray too far from their village, children thoughtlessly exploring the dark forests …”
A gasp leaves my lungs as I remember all those times Ayden and I were thoughtless children, hiking miles from our village to our cave we loved so much.
“What do they want with us?”
Asher’s jaw tics with each passing second that goes without an answer. Declan’s eerie silver eyes meet mine. Shadows dance along his sharp cheek b
ones casting a look of darkness across his face.
“They want us to bring them fresh stock.”
***
Anxiety threatens to pound into my chest with every dangerous step I take. As I follow Declan into a cave I know hides the world’s most lethal creatures, I remember a time when I was lectured relentlessly about the monsters of our society: the crawling veil and the werewolves. Even Asher was once a monster in my eyes.
As I walk with my hand resting tightly against the glimmering sword, I know I was wrong. Red glittering eyes narrow on me from deep within the thick darkness. Jagged nails that are dirty with flesh and meat scrape along the wet wall of the cave sending a crawling shiver down my spine. Skin as creased as leather is revealed in the minimal light, the glow of the Crimson Sword casting his features into eerie blood-like colors.
I know, without a doubt, I was wrong.
A cryptic smile cracks across his shadowed face as my heart threatens to shake to life in my chest. I realize I have never met a real monster in all my life until this moment. This is what danger and death looks like.
He’s free now.
“You’ve kept me waiting, girl.”
As his white tongue sneaks out and licks frantically at the stain of blood from the side of his palm, I almost wish the light would diminish all together. I swallow hard as vomit claws up my throat, demanding me to empty the heavy bones I’ve tossed into it over the last few weeks.
Ruby eyes lock on mine, and something in me clicks involuntarily. My spine straightens, my posture becoming as perfect as possible. The humid air fills my lungs, a look of composure clings to my features.
“Do I look like a girl to you?” I ask, not a bit of fear lacing my even tone. I tilt my head at the creature lurking within the dense shadows.
Declan glances at me out of the corner of his eye, his features smoothing into a mock state of carelessness. It’s a look he holds almost daily.
“You look like a queen.” His detached but hungry words crawl down my spine as they echo around the enormous cave. “You look like someone who’s waited their whole life for something bigger than herself. I can give that to you.” His words cease into a breathy whisper that I can almost feel across my damp skin.