Adventurous Love

by Lea Coll

  Her breath hitched as if expecting me to take a step toward her.

  But that would make me an asshole, pushing myself further into her life when I had no intention of anything permanent or real. Even though she said she didn’t do relationships, she’d eventually want marriage and kids. She’d want what Elle and Gray had. I couldn’t offer her that.

  “But I can’t give you what you want.”

  Her eyes widened. “How do you know what I want?”

  “You want more than I have to give.” I stepped closer, brushing a hair back from her face. My fingers itched to cup her chin and tilt it up, taking her mouth again, but I wouldn’t.

  “If you keep me at arms-length, we’ll never know, will we?” Her eyes held a challenge, one I wanted to rise up and accept, but our friends stood between us.

  The awkwardness of having to see her when she visited again forced me to keep my hands to myself. I took another step back. “This is how it has to be.”

  Her eyes filled with disappointment, the same emotion churning in my gut. She moved closer, poking a finger on my chest. “It doesn’t have to be anything serious. It could be casual, no strings attached.”

  I wanted to grab her finger, push her hand flat against my chest over my racing heart so she could feel what she did to me. Taking this thing with her further, beyond a kiss, was reckless. I wasn’t a dreamer anymore. I was practical. I did what made sense, not believing I could have more or that she wouldn’t want more.

  Words stuck in my throat—words like I want to be with you more than anything. I’d let the past dictate my future, but I wasn’t ready to let go of it. I knew what happened when you let yourself dream of the future, to want things with people like a family, a home, or a business. It was easier to keep expectations small; the potential for return wasn’t as good but it was safe, predictable.

  “Taking risks isn’t easy for me either, but whatever’s happening between us is real. I’m attracted to you and after that kiss, you’re clearly attracted to me.”

  “Attraction is easy. Getting involved with each other is messy.”

  She placed her hands on her hips. “And you don’t do messy.”

  “That’s right.” The words were razor-sharp on my tongue. I wasn’t proud of how I’d dated the last few years, keeping things casual, but it was necessary. It worked. There were no hard feelings.

  I thought I had a future with my high school girlfriend, Selena, and then later with a woman, Vanessa, who was visiting with her friends. It was meant to be a fling but I’d wanted more. She wasn’t interested in long distance. I was a conquest to her. She wanted to tell her friends she’d been with a mountain man. None of the women I dated wanted anything serious. I wouldn’t put myself out there again.

  I waited for her to tell me to man up or grow some balls, but she didn’t.

  Her expression changed from disappointment to frustration before she turned, walking out of the room.

  The computer was still open to the website, the air still ripe with her perfume. She was gone, just like she’d be in a little over a week. She’d be in New York and I’d be left behind. It would be just like the couple of times I’d asked a woman for more. I knew what I was getting into with her, and I wouldn’t let myself fall. I wouldn’t let myself go there. I wouldn’t get involved with someone who was only going to leave.

  It wasn’t even a question with her. I knew she wanted something else, something different than I could provide. She’d never be happy in Colorado, no matter how many excursions I took her on. I was doing her a favor by backing away.

  I shouldn’t have kissed her in the first place. I wouldn’t make the same mistake again.

  Chapter 8

  Kelsey

  * * *

  My notebook lay open on my lap as I sat in the lodge’s study. It was quickly becoming my favorite spot. I’d tried to forget that kiss, the tingling of my lips, and the throbbing in my core by researching the history of Telluride. I’d dutifully taken notes on when it was a mining town, the discovery of electricity, and the way it got its name. Travelers used to say they were taking the ride to hell because it was so difficult to get to the box canyon that housed the town. Over time, the saying became the town’s name, Telluride. I loved everything about its rich history even if it did nothing to erase the memory of Henry in his office.

  What had possessed him to kiss me when he didn’t want to take it further? It hurt that he wouldn’t even consider a one-night stand with me even when I knew why—we had mutual friends. I had to admit Henry was partially right—we had the potential to be messy if one of us caught feelings for the other, but neither of us was interested in anything more. I chewed my lips, wondering why I wasn’t the person anyone ever wanted to take a chance on, especially when I was asking for so little—one kiss, one night, maybe even a vacation fling? Not my parents, my college boyfriend, and now Henry.

  I was prepared to talk to his parents, but I was nervous to meet them, and it was all because of that kiss. Would they know there was something going on between us? Would they sense the overwhelming chemistry that I did?

  Meeting his family meant something. He’d said they were close, that his family adopted Gray and later, Elle; would they do the same for me?

  I rested my head on the chair, closing my eyes. Hadn’t I learned my lesson? I needed to lower my expectations. I was a guest helping him with his website, not a vacation fling, and certainly not a potential girlfriend. Anytime I wanted more, I got burned.

  Expect nothing and you weren’t disappointed.

  “You ready?” Henry stood in the doorway of the study.

  I opened my eyes to the view of Henry with one shoulder pressed against the doorjamb, his Henley and flannel shirt rolled up, his forearms displaying sinewy muscle and veins.

  Averting my eyes, I put my notebook in my messenger bag. He wasn’t for me.

  “You need a notebook to meet with my parents?” His tone was laced with amusement.

  “Yeah, we’re talking to them about your family’s history. I wanted to take notes.” I rose, crossing the room to where he stood with his arms crossed over his chest, his presence somehow taking up the entire room.

  He smirked down at me, his eyes filled with affection. “You’re cute.”

  I propped a hand on my hip. “Being prepared is cute?”

  “We’re meeting my family, but you’re there to visit and have fun.”

  “Are you saying I can’t have fun?”

  He nodded toward my bag. “Your notebook and briefcase say otherwise.”

  “This isn’t a briefcase.” I knew I was being stubborn, but I couldn’t help teasing him. I preferred him like this—relaxed—fun.

  He slipped it off my shoulder and onto his. “Could have fooled me. You ready to meet my family?”

  “I’ve met Piper already, so…”

  “You’re nervous. Why?” He shot a look at me as we walked through the lobby to his truck.

  I bit my lip. “Families make me nervous for some reason.”

  He stowed my bag in the back before opening the door for me. “How so?”

  I climbed in, watching a couple walk across the parking lot with a child between them holding both of their hands.

  “When I visited other families as a kid, there were these rules and expectations about how to act that I wasn’t used to. I was free to make my own decisions―what to eat, how long to stay up, whether or not to do my homework.”

  He smiled; his expression was a little naughty making me think of how he might have been a troublemaker in high school. “That sounds kind of great.”

  “I guess as a teenager it’s nice, but you learn quickly that eating jellybeans for lunch won’t sustain you and teachers will ask questions if you don’t have protein, fruit, and a veggie. I learned to fend for myself, making sandwiches, then mac and cheese, forging my parents’ signature on school forms. Being free to make your own choices is great until…” Until something happens that makes you real
ize you’re not invincible.

  He leaned in, one hand on top of the truck, one on my seat. “Until what?”

  “Until something happens and you realize you have no one to catch you when you fall. There’s no one to call if you get into trouble.”

  I could tell he wanted to ask for specifics, but I wasn’t ready to give them. I’d never told anyone what happened in high school. I was too embarrassed. “You’re right though. It was nice.”

  Growing up, I would have loved having parents tell me when to go to sleep, to do my homework, to ask how my day was. Maybe that was the reason I felt uncomfortable spending time with other peoples’ families; it highlighted how my upbringing wasn’t normal.

  His forehead scrunched. “I didn’t think it through when I said that. I didn’t realize how different it was for you.”

  I waved him off, uncomfortable with his scrutiny. “It’s fine.”

  Henry leaned in, bracing his hands on my thighs, making my thoughts scatter and sending tingles straight to my core. “You have a right to feel the way you do. I was an ass when I said that. I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry your parents left you to fend for yourself. That’s messed up.”

  “Thank you.” I swallowed over the lump in my throat. My heart pounded loudly in my ears. He was touching me; he was offering me support. It was too much yet not enough. I wanted him to inch his hands up my thighs and cup my sex, me rocking into his hand in the middle of a parking lot.

  Lightening his tone, he added, “That being said, my mom and dad are going to love you. You have nothing to worry about.”

  “I hope so.” I tried to smile but worry about his family liking me combined with how vulnerable I felt from my confession to Henry made it falter. At the same time, heat simmered between us.

  “I’ll be there the whole time.”

  “Thanks, Henry.”

  His warm hands lightly squeezed my thighs before pushing off, leaving me feeling overheated.

  The drive over to the ranch was quiet. It was nice to get a look at his family’s property. I tried to imagine what it would have been like growing up here as we pulled up to the house depicted in the framed photograph in the study. There were a couple of trucks parked in front, the tire swing still hung from the tree, lonely and abandoned.

  Would grandchildren swing from it one day? Would Henry live here eventually? Would his sister?

  “Hey.” His tone was so gentle my heart squeezed at the sound. I couldn’t help but look at him. “You have nothing to worry about.”

  I smiled at him before turning my attention to the house. “I just want to do a good job with your family’s history on the website.”

  “You will.”

  He leaned over, my breath catching at his proximity. Shifting in case he needed something from the glove compartment, I froze when I realized he was leaning over to kiss me.

  “Henry?” My voice was shaky. He’d said kissing was a mistake, had he changed his mind?

  He brushed his lips over my cheek then got out of the truck as if he hadn’t just knocked me off my axis.

  Had I just been friend-zoned? I didn’t have friends that kissed me on the cheek like this—like I was the most precious thing to them. If I’d had the presence of mind to turn my head slightly, would he have caught my lips with his? Between him touching my legs and his lips on my cheek, my entire body was buzzing with awareness; my mind was throwing out more questions that I had answers to.

  He opened the passenger side door before I recovered, holding his hand out to me so I could slide to the ground.

  Thanking him, he kept my hand while leading me to the door. It felt so good in mine, calloused and strong, I didn’t let go. Like on the helicopter ride, something about his touch settled the turmoil in my body, the tension in my muscles slowly easing.

  Instead of knocking, he opened the door, letting me precede him inside. The smell of a blueberry pie baking hit my nose first.

  “My mom’s pies are the best.” Henry’s shoulders were relaxed, a playful smile on his face as he led me into the kitchen straight to what looked like his mother.

  My heart threatened to burst out of my chest. Anytime I’d met a friend’s parents when I was younger, I said something awkward like I made my own breakfast or ate whatever I wanted. As I got older, I learned to fudge the truth so I wouldn’t get weird looks or well-meaning follow-up questions.

  Henry dropped a kiss on her cheek. “Mom, this is my guest, Kelsey Turner. Kelsey, this is my mother, Rose.”

  “Sorry, I’m covered in flour.” The makings for the pie crust were scattered over the counter, flour on the front of her apron. She turned to wash and dry her hands before turning back to us.

  A wide smile covered her face as she pulled me in for a hug that smelled like blueberry pie. It was a scent I associated with coming home even if mine hadn’t been welcoming.

  Startled by her friendly greeting, I was stiff for a second before finally relaxing into her hold.

  Pulling away, she said, “It’s so nice to meet a friend of Elle’s. I’m so glad you could come to the wedding.” She patted my cheek before turning to check the oven. The smell of freshly cooked blueberries wafted from within.

  “Come on. I’ll introduce you to my dad.” He grabbed my hand again, my free one covering my stomach as I tried to take deep, calming breaths. I could pretend for a few hours that dinners like this were normal at my house.

  The den was cozy with wood paneling, colorful homemade blankets hung over the weathered couches.

  An older man stood, remote in his hand, holding his arm out to Henry. Pulling him in for a one-armed hug, Henry kept me close to his side. When they pulled away, Henry said, “Dad, this is Kelsey Turner, Elle’s friend from New York. Kelsey, this is my dad, Paul.”

  Why did that introduction bother me? It felt like I was meeting a boyfriend’s parents, that this meant more than it did.

  Dropping Henry’s hand, I held it out to Paul, who ignored it, pulling me in for another one-armed hug. “Nice to meet you. How are you liking Telluride?”

  Pulling back, I said, “I love it.”

  I relaxed because questions about the town were easy to answer. I could talk about the helicopter ride and the town without having to discuss anything personal.

  A door opened in the back of the house, Elle’s giggle filtering down the hall. “Crew, come back!”

  “He smells food and he’s gone,” Gray said.

  An overgrown yellow lab came running down the hall and skidding to a stop in the kitchen. I heard Rose murmuring to the pup.

  Elle and Gray paused in the doorway.

  Elle smiled. “Oh, good, you’re both here.”

  We sat on the couches, catching them up on the last couple of days. My thigh pressed against Henry’s, warm and comforting. My nerves were slightly assuaged now that Elle and Gray were here. Elle knew how I felt in social situations.

  Rose called us in to dinner. We sat at their large dining room table; a rotisserie chicken, potatoes, vegetables, and rolls were laid out. This is the kind of dinner I could only dream about as a child.

  Elle and Gray updated the Rigbys on their businesses and the wedding.

  When Elle’s voice trailed off, Paul asked us, “What have you two been up to?”

  I chewed a piece of chicken, swallowing before answering, “Henry took me up on a helicopter ride. It was impressive.”

  At Paul’s arched brow, Henry added, “Dax took us up.”

  Elle buttered her roll. “That sounds amazing. We haven’t done that yet.”

  “You have to try it. Everything looks so different from above.” It was like putting the pieces of Telluride together into one big puzzle. I could see how everything fit, the town in the canyon and the town on top of the mountain joined by the gondola lift and the ski slope.

  “Have you taken her to see the ghost town?” Paul asked Henry.

  “No. That’s next on the list.”

  “A ghost town?” I asked, my interest p
iqued.

  “You get there by snowmobiling,” Gray added.

  “You keep taking me to do things I’ve never done before,” I said to Henry.

  I felt safe with him. I wanted to chase that feeling. It made me want to take up his offer of ice climbing the waterfall. Rappelling down was the scariest thing I could think of doing, but if he was there to help me—maybe it would be okay—exhilarating even.

  He winked. “I told you I’d take care of you.”

  To cover the way that wink made my insides dip like I was in the helicopter again, I said brightly, “I’m not going to want to leave.”

  Elle pointed her fork at me. “Ding ding. You’re on to our evil plan.”

  I laughed with everyone. I thought I wouldn’t fit in here, but Paul and Rose made me feel welcome, and I had Grey, Elle, and Henry. I had no reason to be nervous.

  After dinner, I helped clean up. When the last dish was put away, Rose wiped her hands on a towel. “That’s enough of that. Let’s go look at some photographs. Henry said you want to know all about the history of the ranch.”

  “Yeah. I wanted to add it to the website for the lodge.”

  “You’ve come to the right place, I’ve been saving old letters, bibles, and photographs. I hoped to put the history together myself one day, but this is even better.” Rose was practically beaming.

  “I’m happy to help.”

  “Henry, grab the photo albums and the boxes in the office. I brought them down from the attic.”

  Henry stepped through the kitchen. “I told you not to bother. I’d get them.”

  “Oh, I’m still capable of doing things.” Rose touched my elbow, guiding me to the dining room table. “I’ll get the pie, then we can get started.”

  “The best conversations happen over pie,” Elle said, sitting across from me, sharing a smile with Gray as if she was remembering something personal that happened between them.

  Gray dropped a soft kiss on her lips as Henry carried in albums stacked on top of a box labeled Rigbys.