Adventurous Love

by Lea Coll

  Another family joined them with two younger kids picking up sticks and hopping over the many logs scattered about. Kelsey talked to the parents, asking what they were planning to do this week, asking if we could help with anything.

  As I cooked the hot dogs, I got the impression Kelsey was polling the guests, figuring out what brought them here and what things they liked to do to determine what we could offer guests in the future.

  When we sat eating hot dogs, she whispered in my ear, “This was perfect.”

  “What if I wanted you to myself?”

  Her eyes widened as the smile slowly took over her face. “The night is young, Henry Rigby.”

  “It is.” And so was I. I shouldn’t be as jaded as I’d been, so closed off to opportunities. Now I could see my inability to go further in my relationships might have been inhibiting my progress with the lodge. I was closed off to new ideas, reluctant to try new things. If Kelsey hadn’t shown up, would I have implemented my ideas? Maybe, but who knows when. She’d opened my eyes in more ways than one. She was a bright light in my life.

  “You know what would be amazing?” Kelsey carefully placed two marshmallows on her skewers.

  “What?” I asked as I cleaned up the hot dogs we didn’t use.

  “If someone could play the guitar. It’s a beautiful night. I’d love to listen to music.”

  I followed her gaze to the sky where stars were glittering brightly.

  “I play,” I finally admitted softly.

  She bounced on her toes, her skewer dancing over the flames. “You do?”

  “I haven’t played in front of people in a long time.”

  “Please, Henry. I’d love to hear you play.” Her eyes were pleading.

  I nodded stiffly, my throat getting tight, my muscles tensing. What had I gotten myself into? Why was I allowing Kelsey to throw me off balance? “I’ll go get my guitar.”

  “That would be amazing.” She closed the distance between us, going up on tiptoe to drop a soft, lingering kiss on my lips. The effortless gesture felt natural.

  I headed to my condo while trying to remember the reasons we couldn’t work. I picked up the familiar weight of the guitar, strumming the strings to warm up with a familiar melody.

  Heading downstairs, I wondered if I was good enough to play in front of other people. Sitting on a log in front of the fire, Kelsey smiled at me, erasing my concerns. I wanted to make her happy.

  I tested a few notes before going into my favorite song. After a few minutes, I glanced around to see if anyone was annoyed with my playing, but even the kids had quieted, listening to me.

  I opened my mouth, singing the words to the chorus. The song was about regret, new beginnings, and starting over. As I sang the familiar song, I really listened to the words for the first time. With Selena, I’d buried my feelings and who I was before she crushed me. I’d changed, pushing down pieces of myself, never allowing them to come to light. The next time I’d taken a risk, asking for more, I was shot down.

  I didn’t want to resist Kelsey anymore. I wanted to enjoy every second of my time with her.

  Our eyes met across the fire where she was holding marshmallows over the flames. Her eyes were shiny as if she was holding back tears. Was my playing that good or was she listening to the lyrics? I was more of a music guy. I loved the chords, the dark and light notes, the crescendo at the end, but this time, each word wrapped around my heart making me think I could have more. I could be the guy I’d been before Selena stomped on me. I could be that guy with Kelsey, the one who was hopeful for the future, willing to try anything to achieve his dreams.

  When I plucked the last note, my voice trailed off before the music did. The piece was sorrowful, haunting. Even the kids got the message because they were quiet.

  “That was so beautiful, Henry. Thank you for playing,” Kelsey said before she turned, putting her cooked marshmallows into a s’more for one of the children.

  “Can you play something else?” A woman to my left asked.

  “Sure.” I readjusted my position, thinking of what to play. Instead of the emotional piece I’d just played, I chose an upbeat, popular song.

  After a handful of songs, Kelsey stopped roasting marshmallows to come and sit next to me, swaying to the music.

  When I stopped, the family drifted back to the lodge.

  “You’re full of surprises.”

  I set the guitar to the side, kissing her. “So are you.”

  I never thought she’d be so good with the guests, especially the kids. Everyone seemed to adore her, yet she kept herself apart from people because she was worried about getting hurt.

  Her eyes glowed with the reflection of the firelight, her skin pink from the cold, her muscles relaxed. I wanted to tell her she was beautiful, that I never wanted to let her go, but we weren’t alone.

  “You want to clean up?”

  She nodded. “Sure.”

  Did she want to be alone as much as I did?

  We cleaned up the bonfire area, taking the unused food and supplies to the kitchen before heading to my condo.

  When the door was closed behind us, she set my guitar to the side, stepping into my arms. “I had an amazing day.”

  Her hands traveled to my shoulders, hooking them around my neck. It should have felt a little like an eighth-grade dance, but it didn’t. Every nerve ending was tingling with awareness, our bodies flush against each other.

  She looked up at me with such hope in her eyes. She was trusting me with everything.

  Chapter 16

  Kelsey

  * * *

  The whole night felt surreal. It’s like we were together, running the lodge, in every way that mattered. Holding his gaze across the fire, I saw our future. More nights like this one, him playing the guitar, me helping the kids make s’mores. Would our kids be running around that fire at some point? It was too much to hope for. Henry made me want things I’d pushed down deep, thinking I’d never get. When he picked up that guitar, then started to sing, I felt as warm and gooey as the marshmallows I’d roasted.

  I’d never be the same after this week. Henry was changing me, opening me up, taking me back to that girl who just wanted someone to acknowledge her, to be there for her. I wanted that. I wanted him.

  Not waiting for him to make the move, I pulled his head down so I could kiss him, pouring my hopes and dreams into it. He picked me up as I wrapped my legs around his waist. Pressing me against the wall, his hands shook as he pushed up my shirt, cupping my breast.

  The warm feelings from the evening turned molten hot. I was lava in his hands, melting, burning for him. I moaned when his calloused thumb skated over my nipple, his mouth wet on mine. I wanted him inside me now, hard and punishing.

  He stepped back as if he’d read my mind, shoving down my jeans. I kicked them off watching as he made quick work of his clothes and grabbing a condom. I stilled his hand as he moved to rip open the wrapper.

  There was a roaring in my ears, a desperation to feel his skin on mine with nothing between us. “I want to feel you. I’m clean and on the pill.”

  Leaning against the wall, every muscle in my body tensed as I waited for his answer.

  Indecision on his face, I said, “Never mind. We don’t have to.”

  I wanted to get back to where we were, all movement and feeling, no talking.

  I stepped into him, pressing my breasts against his chest, reaching down to palm his cock. He was warm and hard in my hands.

  His lips trailed over my jaw and neck. “I’m clean too. Are you sure?”

  His breath warm on my neck, I nodded. “Please, Henry.”

  I wanted to feel him with no barriers, no excuses, and no past between us. I wanted to be with him. Then he lifted me like I weighed nothing, filling me in one motion as he leveraged me against the wall. The initial burn gave way to a feeling of being full. He kissed me in time with his thrusts until his movements turned jerky. Pulling back, he looked at the point where he stretched m
y pussy.

  My fingers tangled in his hair. “It’s so good like this.”

  He thrust harder. I wrapped my arms around him tightly, holding on for the ride. I’d never been fucked against the wall. I’d wanted no barriers, but this wasn’t love-making. It was almost primal, raw. At least for me. I felt vulnerable, open to him in a way I hadn’t been before. I’d slowly let go of my reservations, lowering my defenses, and I’d let him in.

  My thoughts were jumbled as he hit that spot inside, the one that burned, building steadily with each stroke. I couldn’t control my whimpers. I was begging for more, harder. I wanted this moment to go on forever but at the same time, it felt like too much.

  He pressed his thumb against my clit and I burst, stars exploding under my eyelids as wave after wave of pure ecstasy coursed through me.

  My head dropped to his shoulder as I held onto him; my arms and legs felt like jelly, but I never wanted to let go. We smelled of sweat and sex. A few more thrusts and Henry went over.

  After a few seconds, he lifted his head. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  He slowly lowered my feet to the floor, holding on to me as I got my bearings. “Come on, let’s get in the hot tub.”

  “I’m sorry, what?” My brain was still muddled with that mind-blowing orgasm.

  He grabbed my hand, pulling me along with him. “The hot tub.”

  “Is it outside?” I asked as he paused at the slider to the deck. I hadn’t seen one last night, but I hadn’t been paying attention to much beyond dinner and him.

  He pulled a soft throw off the couch wrapping it around me.

  “Don’t you need one?”

  “I’ll be fine. I’m from here, remember? I’m used to the cold.” He winked then went outside, stoking the fire before pushing a cover off the hot tub.

  “So, what, you’re like a polar bear?” I couldn’t even imagine walking outside with bare feet much less naked.

  He didn’t respond as the jets came to life; soft yellow lights glowed under the water. Turning on a heater that was in the corner, he moved back to me.

  “I didn’t even realize you had a hot tub.”

  He lifted me off my feet, carrying me to the hot tub, carefully setting me on the seat.

  “It was Gray’s idea. He said if he was investing in the lodge, I had to think about resale.”

  I smirked as I sank into the warm water. I was sure that was the excuse Gray gave. I’d bet anything he wanted Henry to have the best of everything, not skimping on any details because he was worried about money. “This is decadent.”

  “I never thought I’d be getting a view of the night sky from an outdoor hot tub.”

  Henry stepped inside, moving next to me, pulling me into his side. “I like showing you new things.”

  “I love it.” I loved being here with him. He was filling my cracked heart with care and love, making me think I could have more. I closed my eyes, the warm water lapping at my shoulders, Henry’s arm around me, his fingers playing with my hair, his wet skin below my cheek. If I didn’t think past this moment, it was easy to see myself here with him.

  I didn’t know if he even wanted that. My vacation time would come to an end. The distance between our homes loomed as a natural break. If I lived here, maybe he never would have pursued me at all. It was a sobering thought, one that clipped the soaring wings of my heart, keeping it in the cage I’d erected as a teenager.

  I had to remember I only had myself to rely on. As nice as it was to lean on Henry for a few days, it couldn’t be anything more. Even if I allowed myself to go there, he might not want to.

  His voice rumbled me from my thoughts as he pointed out the constellations in the sky. In between each one, he’d lower his mouth to mine, giving me a soft, sweet kiss like he was trying to prove me wrong. If his goal was to reach inside the cage, squeezing my heart until it was pumping again, he was doing a great job. The only problem was he wouldn’t be in New York to keep it pumping.

  After our skin was wrinkled, Henry got out first, grabbing the blanket so he could go inside to get towels. When he helped me out, wrapping me in it, it was warm.

  “Towel warmers.”

  “You’re certainly living the life here. Deck hot tubs, towel warmers, not to mention the view.”

  He rubbed my shoulders, picking me up to carry me inside, wedding style. He didn’t pause until I was in his bedroom. The king bed taking up most of the room, dark furniture and walls completed the look. It was clean and simple, like Henry.

  I pushed out any thoughts of tomorrow, our friends, and the wedding. After we dried off, we slipped under the covers, wrapped in each other’s arms. We didn’t say anything, no whispered assurances, no promises that couldn’t be kept. I drifted off to sleep on a cloud, hope shining like a beacon in my chest.

  Tomorrow would be soon enough to tap it down.

  The next morning, Henry woke me with his mouth between my legs, a slow orgasm washed over me before he slid inside. We leisurely showered then parted ways. He needed to deal with the delivery of the linens and silverware, and I needed to remember what I was doing here. Helping Elle with her wedding, not falling further into Henry, no matter how amazing our time was together.

  As soon as I got back to my room, I charged my phone, checking the emails I hadn’t bothered to look at last night. One was from a brokerage firm I’d applied to a few weeks ago.

  Pulling it open, I held my breath. As I read, I flew through the words, my hand flying to my chest. He was offering me a clerk position with the possibility of more money and a promotion if I took the Series 7 exam. I needed to tell him within a week. Taking the Series 7 was unusual for someone in their twenties. Though it was what every clerk wanted eventually. Studying for the test would take any spare time I had. I wouldn’t be able to visit Colorado.

  A week ago, this was my dream. I wanted to tell someone, but who? It didn’t feel right to tell Henry, to get excited about a job across the country after everything we’d shared.

  Hands shaking, I texted Elle.

  Kelsey: Are you up for coffee this morning? Brunch? I need to talk.

  Elle: Of course. The shop is slow on Monday mornings. I’ll have Piper cover.

  I hadn’t even thought about the fact that Elle could be working. It had only been a week and I’d forgotten what it was like to go to work every day. To have nothing else matter but that.

  Elle: I’ll pick you up.

  Kelsey: Thank you.

  Last week, I wouldn’t have hesitated to take the job. Now, everything had changed. As I headed down the steps to meet Elle, watching Henry talk to a delivery person in the lobby, I wondered if anything had. I’d go back to New York; Henry would continue doing what he was here.

  Catching his eyes, Henry nodded at me as I passed. I wished he’d stop what he was doing and kiss me goodbye, but that’s not what we were. Upstairs we could be us, he’d even kissed me in front of the fire last night, but I wasn’t sure how he wanted me to act at the wedding in front of Elle and Gray. Did we have to pretend nothing happened? I probably should have discussed it with him before I met with Elle but it was too late now.

  Elle pulled up to the curb as I stepped outside. Opening the door, I climbed inside. “Hey, you. I haven’t seen you since dinner at the Rigbys’.”

  “I know. Henry kept me busy.”

  Elle’s eyes were on the road so there was no way she’d see the heat flooding my cheeks.

  “Oh good. What have you been doing?”

  “We snowmobiled to Tomboy, explored the farm…” And the bed, the hot tub, the wall in his condo.

  “Oh good. Tomboy’s amazing, isn’t it? If you’re lucky, you’re up there all by yourselves. You’re so high up looking down on Telluride and the waterfalls. It feels like you’re on top of the world.”

  “Yeah, it was something. I have more than enough to add to the website this week.”

  “I think it’s a great idea to go into the family’s history.”


  She parked downtown. We settled into a table at The Steaming Bean and ordered before she asked, “So, why did you want to talk?”

  Instead of being overjoyed like I thought I would be, I was conflicted. “I was offered a clerk position at a bigger firm with the possibility of a promotion.”

  Elle leaned over covering my hands with hers. “That’s great news!”

  “It means I’ll need to take the Series 7.” We’d talked about this over the past few months, so she was familiar with the test.

  She sipped her water. “This is what you wanted, right?”

  “It is.” So why did my stomach turn over at the idea of saying yes?

  Her eyes narrowed on me. “You don’t seem excited.”

  I took a deep breath, trying to figure out the best way to explain my swirling emotions when I couldn’t understand it myself. “Last week, I would have jumped at the chance. Now, I don’t know. It means I won’t have any spare time outside of work and studying.”

  “Were you thinking of doing something with marketing since you’re helping Henry with the lodge?” Elle seemed genuinely curious.

  I paused. “I haven’t thought of that. I’ve enjoyed helping Henry with marketing ideas though.”

  “It’s something to think about. You have other options.”

  “You’re right. It’s just that I love my job.” Didn’t I? Why wasn’t I filled with excitement that I’d gotten what I wanted? Why did my stomach churn whenever I thought about going back to New York? Was it only because of my relationship with Henry or did I truly not enjoy my job anymore? Had Colorado changed me?

  “You don’t sound like you love it.”

  “I did.” I couldn’t explain why I felt differently.

  She tilted her head. “What changed?”

  I tried to think over the last week to figure out what had. “Coming here. Taking time off. Seeing that there’s more to life than work.”

  “I’ve never been in a job where I worked long hours, so I can’t really compare, but I love owning my own business. It’s fulfilling, challenging, and exciting.” Elle’s face shone with pride.