Greatheart

by Ethel M. Dell

  CHAPTER XXI

  THE VALLEY OF HUMILIATION

  When Scott reached the fallen tree again, Dinah's fit of weeping wasover. She was lying exhausted and barely conscious against his coat.

  She opened her eyes as he knelt down beside her. "You are--good," shewhispered faintly.

  He poured out some milk and held it to her. "Try to drink some!" he saidgently.

  She put out a trembling hand.

  "No; let me!" he said.

  She submitted in silence, and he lifted the glass to her lips and held itvery steadily while slowly she drank.

  Her eyes were swollen and burning with the shedding of many scaldingtears. Now and then a sharp sob rose in her throat so that she could notswallow.

  "Take your time!" he said. "Don't hurry it!"

  But ere she finished, the tears were running down her face again. He setdown the glass, and with his own handkerchief he wiped them away. Then hesat upon the low tree-trunk, and drew her to lean against him.

  "When you're feeling better, we'll have a talk," he said.

  She hid her face with a piteous gesture against his knee. "I don'tsee--the good of talking," she said, in muffled accents. "It can't makethings--any better."

  "I'm not so sure of that," he said. "Anyhow we can't leave things as theyare. You will admit that."

  Dinah was silent.

  He went on with the utmost gentleness. "I want to get you away from here.Isabel is going down to Heath-on-Sea and she wants you to come too. It'sa tiny place. We have a cottage there with the most wonderful garden forflowers you ever saw. It isn't more than thirty yards square, and thereis a cliff path down to the beach. Isabel loves the place. The yacht isthere too, and we go for cruises on calm days. I am hoping Isabel maypick up a little there, and she is always more herself when you are withher. You won't disappoint her, will you?"

  A great-shiver went through Dinah. "I can't come," she said, almost underher breath. "It just--isn't possible."

  "What is there to prevent?" he asked.

  She moved a little, and lifted her head from its resting-place. "Ever somany things," she said.

  "You are thinking of Eustace?" he questioned. "He has gone already--goneto town. He will probably go abroad; but in any case he will not get inyour way."

  "I wasn't thinking of him," Dinah said.

  "Then of what?" he questioned. "Your mother? I will see her, and makethat all right."

  She started and lifted her face. "Oh no! Oh no! You must never dream ofdoing that!" she declared, with sudden fevered urgency. "I couldn't bearyou to see her. You mustn't think of it, indeed--indeed! Why I wouldeven--even sooner go back myself."

  "Then I must write to her," he said, gently ceding the point. "It is notessential that I should see her. Possibly even, a letter would bepreferable."

  Dinah's face had flushed fiery red. She did not meet his eyes. "I don'tsee why you should have anything to do with her," she said. "You wouldnever get her to consent."

  "Then I propose that we act first," said Scott. "Isabel is leavingto-day. You can join her at Great Mallowes and go on together. I shallfollow in a couple of days. There are several matters to be attended tofirst. But Isabel and Biddy will take care of you. Come, my dear, youwon't dislike that so very badly!"

  "Dislike it!" Dinah caught back another sob. "I should love it above allthings if it were possible. But it isn't--it isn't."

  "Why not?" he questioned. "Surely your father would not raise anyobjection?"

  She shook her head. "No--no! He doesn't care what happens to me. I usedto think he did; but he doesn't--he doesn't."

  "Then what is the difficulty?" asked Scott.

  She was silent, and he saw the hot colour spreading over her neck as sheturned her face away.

  "Won't you tell me?" he urged gently. "Is there some particular reasonwhy you want to stay?"

  "Oh no! I'm not going to stay." Quickly she made answer. "I am nevergoing back. I couldn't after--after--" She broke off in quiveringdistress.

  "I think your mother will be sorry presently," he said. "People withviolent tempers generally repent very deeply afterwards."

  Dinah turned upon him suddenly and hotly. "She will never repent!" shedeclared. "She hates me. She has always hated me. And I hate her--hateher--hate her!"

  The concentrated passion of her made her vibrate from head to foot. Hereyes glittered like emeralds. She was possessed by such a fury of hatredas made her scarcely recognizable.

  Scott looked at her steadily for a moment or two. Then: "But it does youmore harm than good to say so," he said. "And it doesn't answer myquestion, does it? Dinah, if you don't feel that you can do this thingfor your own sake, won't you do it for Isabel's? She is needing you badlyjust now."

  The vindictive look went out of Dinah's face. Her eyes softened, and hesaw the hopeless tears well up again. "But I couldn't help her any more,"she said.

  "The very fact of having you to care for would help her," Scott said.

  Dinah shook her head. She was sitting on the ground with her handsclasped round her knees. As the tears splashed down again, she turned herface away.

  "It wouldn't help her, it wouldn't help anybody, to have me as I am now,"she said. "I can't tell you--I can't explain. But--I am not fit toassociate with anyone good."

  Scott leaned towards her. "Dinah, my dear, you are torturing yourself,"he said. "It's natural, I know. You have had no sleep, and you have criedyourself ill. But I am not going to give in to you. I am not going totake No for an answer. You have no plans for yourself, and I doubt if inyour present state you are capable of forming any. Isabel wants you, andit would be cruel to disappoint her. So you and I will join her at GreatMallowes this afternoon. I will deal with your people in the matter, butI do not anticipate any great difficulty in that direction. Now that issettled, and you need not weary yourself with any further discussion. Iam responsible, and I will bear my responsibility."

  His tone was kind but it held unmistakable finality.

  Dinah uttered a heavy sigh, and said no more. She lacked the strength forprolonged opposition.

  He persuaded her to drink some more of the milk, and made a cushion ofhis coat for her against the tree.

  "Perhaps you will get a little sleep," he said, as she suffered herselfto relax somewhat. "Will it disturb you if I smoke?"

  "No," she said.

  He took out his case. "Shut your eyes!" he said practically.

  But Dinah's eyes remained open, watching him. He began to smoke as ifunaware of her scrutiny.

  After several moments she spoke. "Scott!"

  He turned to her. "Yes? What is it?"

  The piteous, shamed colour rose up under his eyes. Again she turned herface away. "That--that sapphire pendant!" she murmured. "I brought itwith me. Of course--I know--the presents will have to be returned. Ididn't mean to--to run away with it. But--but--I loved it so. I couldn'thave borne my mother to touch it. Shall I--shall I give it you now?"

  "No, dear," he answered firmly. "Neither now nor at any time. I gave itto you as a token of friendship, and I would like you to keep it alwaysfor that reason."

  "Always?" questioned Dinah. "Even if--if I never marry at all?"

  "Certainly," he said.

  "Because I never shall marry now," she said, speaking with difficulty."I--have quite given up that idea."

  "I should like you to keep it in any case," Scott said.

  "You are very good," she said earnestly. "I--I wonder you will haveanything to do with me now that you know how--how wicked I am."

  "I don't think you wicked," he said.

  "Don't you?" She opened her heavy eyes a little. "You don't blame mefor--for--" She broke off shuddering, and as she did so, there came againthe rumble and roar of a distant train. "Then why did you stop me?" shewhispered tensely.

  Scott was silent for a moment or two. He was gazing straight before him.At length, "I stopped you," he said, "because I had to. It doesn't matterwhy. You would have done the same in my plac
e. But I don't blame you,partly because it is not my business, and partly because I know quitewell that you didn't realize what you were doing."

  "I did realize," Dinah said. "If it weren't for you--because you are sogood--nothing would have stopped me. Even now--even now--" again the hottears came--"I've nothing to live for, and--and--God--doesn't--care."She turned her face into her arm and wept silently.

  Scott made a sudden movement, and threw his cigarette away. Then swiftlyhe bent over her.

  "Dinah," he said, "stop crying! You're making a big mistake."

  His tone was arresting, imperative. She looked up at him almost in spiteof herself. His eyes gazed straight into hers, and it seemed to her thatthere was something magnetic, something that was even unearthly, in theirclose regard.

  "You are making a mistake," he repeated. "God always cares. He caredenough to send a friend to look after you. Do you want any stronger proofthan that?"

  "I--don't--know," Dinah said, awe-struck.

  "Think about it!" Scott insisted. "Do you seriously imagine that it wasjust chance that brought me along at that particular moment? Do you thinkit was chance that made you draw back yesterday from giving yourself to aman you don't love? Was it chance that sent you to Switzerland in thefirst place? Don't you know in your heart that God has been guiding youall through?"

  "I don't know," Dinah said again, but there was less of hopelessness inher voice. The shining certainty in Scott's eyes was warring with herdoubt. "But then, why has He let me suffer so?"

  "Why did He suffer so Himself?" Scott said. "Except that He might learnobedience? It's a bitter lesson to all of us, Dinah; but it's got to belearnt."

  "You have learnt it!" she said, with a touch of her own impulsiveness.

  He smiled a little--smiled and sighed. "I wonder. I've learnt anyhow tobelieve in the goodness of God, and to know that though we can't see Himin all things, it's not because He isn't there. Even those who know Himbest can't realize Him always."

  "But still you are sure He is there?" Dinah questioned.

  "I am quite sure," he said, with a conviction so absolute that it placedfurther questioning beyond the bounds of possibility. "Life is full ofproblems which it is out of any man's power to solve. But to anyone whowill take the trouble to see them the signs are unmistakable. There isnot a single soul that is left unaccounted for in the reckoning of God.He cares for all."

  There was no contradicting him; Dinah was too weary for discussion in anycase. But he had successfully checked her tears at last; he had even in ameasure managed to comfort her torn soul. She lay for a space ponderingthe matter.

  "I am afraid I am one of those who don't take the trouble," she said atlength. "But I shall try to now. Thank you for all your goodness to me,Mr. Greatheart." She smiled at him wanly. "I don't deserve it--not aquarter of it. But I'm grateful all the same. Please won't you have yoursmoke now, and forget me and my troubles?"

  That smile cheered Scott more than any words. He recognized moreover thatthe delicate touch of reserve that characterized her speech was the firstevidence of returning self-control that she had manifested.

  He took out his cigarette-case again. "I hope you haven't found meover-presumptuous," he said.

  Dinah reached up a trembling hand. "Presumptuous for helping me in theValley of Humiliation?" she said.

  He took the hand and held it firmly. "I am so used to it myself," hesaid, in a low voice. "I ought to know a little about it."

  "Perhaps," said Dinah thoughtfully, "that is what makes you great."

  He raised his shoulders slightly. "You have always seen me through amagnifying-glass," he said whimsically. "Some day the fates will reversethat glass and then you will be unutterably shocked."

  Dinah smiled again and shook her head. "I know you," she said.

  He lighted his cigarette, and then brought out a pocket-book. "I want towrite a note to Isabel," he said. "You don't mind?"

  "About me?" questioned Dinah.

  "About the arrangements I am making. She is motoring to Great Mallowes inany case to catch the afternoon express."

  "Oh!" said Dinah, and coloured vividly, painfully.

  Scott did not see. "I can get someone at the farm to take the message,"he said. "And when once you are with Isabel I shall feel easy about you."

  "And--and--my--mother?" faltered Dinah.

  "I shall write to her this afternoon while we are waiting for Isabel,"said Scott quietly.

  "What--shall you say?" whispered Dinah.

  "Do you mind leaving that entirely to me?" he said.

  "She will be--furious," she murmured. "She might--out of revenge comeafter us. What then?"

  "She will certainly not do that," said Scott, "as she will not know youraddress. Besides, people do not remain furious, you know. They cool down,and then they are generally ashamed of themselves. Don't let us talkabout your mother!"

  "The de Vignes then," said Dinah, turning from the subject with relief."Tell me what happened! Was the Colonel very angry?"

  Scott's mouth twitched slightly. "Not in the least," he said.

  "Not really!" Dinah looked incredulous for a moment; then: "Perhaps hethinks there is a fresh chance for Rose," she said.

  "Perhaps he does," agreed Scott dryly. "In any case, he is more disposedto smile than frown, and as Eustace wasn't there to see it, it didn'tgreatly matter."

  "Oh, poor Eustace!" she whispered. "It--was dreadful to hurt him so."

  "I think he will get over it," Scott said.

  "He was much--kinder--than--than I deserved," she murmured.

  Scott's faint smile reappeared. "Perhaps he found it difficult to beanything else," he said.

  She shook her head. "I wonder--how I came to make--such a dreadfulmistake."

  "It wasn't your fault," said Scott.

  She looked at him quickly. "What makes you say that?"

  He met her look gravely. "Because I know just how it happened," he said."You were neither of you in earnest in the first place. I am afraid I hada hand in making Eustace propose to you. I was afraid--and so wasIsabel--you would be hurt by his trifling."

  "And you interfered?" breathed Dinah.

  He nodded. "Yes, I told him it must be one thing or the other. I wantedyou to be happy. But instead of helping you, I landed you in this mess."

  Something in his tone touched her. She laid a small shy hand upon hisknee. "It was--dear of you, Scott," she said very earnestly. "Thankyou--ever so much--for what you did."

  He put his hand on hers. "My dear, I would have given all I had to haveundone it afterwards. It is very generous of you to take it like that. Ihave often wanted to kick myself since."

  "Then you must never want to again," she said. "Do you know I'm so gladyou've told me? It was so--fine of you--to do that for me. I'm sure youcouldn't have wanted me for a sister-in-law even then."

  "I wanted you to be happy," Scott reiterated.

  She uttered a quick sigh. "Happiness isn't everything, is it?"

  "Not everything, no," he said.

  She grasped his hand hard. "I'm going to try to be good instead," shesaid. "Will you help me?"

  He smiled at her somewhat sadly. "If you think my help worth having," hesaid.

  "But of course it is," she made warm answer. "You are the strong man whohelps everyone. You are--Greatheart."

  He looked at her still smiling and slowly shook his head. "Now, if youdon't mind," he said, "I will write my note to Isabel."