by Voss, Deja
To my surprise, he placed it in my hand, spinning me around so we were standing face to face.
“Just do it,” he said, his smile so tight, all I could see was yellowed teeth. “Go ahead and finish me off. You think you’ll be so much better off? Now’s your chance, Hannah.”
My hand trembled as I dropped the knife to the ground. There was no way I was going to win. He had offered himself as a sacrifice, and I denied the chance. But then again, he knew. He knew when he saw me steal that knife that I would never use it. He knew I was too weak, too afraid, too indoctrinated.
“You know this is my favorite kind of foreplay, right?” he said, his voice deeper, more sinister than it had been if that was even possible. I knew what those words meant. Jacob liked things anything but easy and loving. As he slammed me on my back, onto the hard earth, I decided I would not give him what he wanted. Instead of fighting him back, I stared up at the canopy of trees, pretending like I was finally dead, finally free, ignoring the searing pain ripping through my muscles.
Each time I squeezed my eyes shut, I was tormented with the vision of black leather, Breaker’s tattooed arms ripping Jacob from me, beating him to a pulp and taking me with him, away from this hellhole. That was my ultimate fantasy. That was a fantasy I was certain would never come true.
Chapter Eleven
Breaker:
“You’re out of your fucking mind,” Rosey said, wiping the motor oil off his face with the back of his palm. He was messing around with his bike as usual, always slapping on some random after-market part that made it look more like a robot than the majestic machines I loved so much. I’d never do that shit to my Indian.
“Come on, you’re not doing anything important. I just need a distraction. Just in case. You might not have to do anything at all.”
“What’s your end game here, Breaker? You’re gonna take this bitch who barely knows how to read and bring her into what? This life?”
“Brother, you barely know how to read,” I said. “She’s not safe. I saw the bruises with my own two eyes. Something fucked up is going on there. I need to help her.” I couldn’t get the vision of the back of her leg off my mind. Those welts, those bruises, how fearful she looked when she blinked up at me. She was so pretty, so innocent. How anyone could put their hands on her was beyond me. Whoever did it would pay, but until then, I needed to get her away. Needed to make sure it never happened again.
“What are you dick holes cooking up over here?” Law said, grabbing a pipe wrench and some duct tape from the rolling tool chest. On the outside, he didn’t really come off as your typical enforcer. Sure he was a stacked dude, but nothing out of the ordinary. Inside, though, Law was a crazy motherfucker, and he had connections out the ass, FBI, CIA, who knows what the fuck else. He was an enigma. All I knew is I wouldn’t want to be the sorry soul on the other end of wherever he took that backpack stuffed with blunt objects.
“Breaker’s trying to kidnap some cult bitch. The usual.”
“Getting tired of the regular sluts?” he asked. “I hear ya. Little change around here might be nice.”
“It’s not like that,” I said. “I’ve known Hannah a long time. Something ain’t right. She needs my help. You know anything about the Chosen Faithful?”
He bit his lip and closed his eyes, deep in thought for a minute. “Amish radicals,” he said. “They parted from the church in 1946 I believe. Fire and brimstone kind of people, hate the outside world, but aren’t afraid to profit off mainstream society either. There was a branch in Smicksburg that got nailed with postal fraud about ten years back. Claimed they were unknowingly sending kilos of heroin, claimed it was given to them as ‘spices’ and they were tricked. Had a great fucking lawyer. One we’d never be able to afford. Got em off on all charges. After that, they’ve been lying low, but they’re definitely on the radar.”
“How do you keep track of all this shit?” Rosey asked. “I can’t even remember what I ate for breakfast this morning.”
“Some shit sticks with you,” he said, tossing his backpack over his shoulder. “They definitely aren’t good to bitches. Treated em like property, not like old lady property either. Nobody’s willing to talk, though, so there’s nothing anybody could do. You gonna tell me what’s going on?”
I explained the mission, the loaf of bread, the weird encounter this morning with Jacob, the bruises, and the more I talked, the angrier I got at myself for not just grabbing her out of there this morning. The thought of anybody laying their hands on her completely gutted me.
“I mean, I don’t really know shit about this chapter. I can make some calls. If you really think you need to get her out of there though, we can handle it.”
“I need to talk to her is what I need to do,” I said. “Haven’t been able to get a word in yet. Supposedly she’s on a vow of silence.”
“Come on,” Rosey said, getting up off the floor. “I’m sick of seeing you like this. Obviously you ain’t gonna let it drop til you talk to the bitch. Let me wash up and we’ll go.”
“I’m coming, too,” Law said.
“You don’t got shit to do?” I asked, nodding at his backpack.
“Oh this? This is nothing important. I was just heading to Judas’ to help him fix his sink. It can wait.” He laughed at shook his head, as if I hadn’t seen him load up that backpack a hundred times before with darker intentions. “I think I’ll bring it just in case, though.”
We mounted our bikes and headed to the bakery for the second time today. Jacob supposedly was coming to town, so if I could get Rosey and Law to distract whoever else was there, grabbing Hannah would hopefully be easy breezy. That was my plan, at least. I’d pick her up, toss her on the back of my bike, we could worry about the details later. My mind was one tracked at this point. I had no idea what I was gonna do with her when I got her. For the first time in my life, I had no idea how to act around a woman.
Remember the rules, I thought, as we turned down the long winding country road, my heart beating faster as I caught a glimpse of rows and rows of those ugly ass gray dresses hanging from a line in front of a cottage. The rules had never let me down before. I had to make her feel safe. The rest would fall into place.
Chapter Twelve
Hannah:
My legs were stinging, fresh bruises from this morning coming to a head. Every step I took felt like all the bones in my body would shatter, every breath I took a reminder of how terrible it felt having Jacob on top of me. I thought I was only imagining things when Breaker came in today, thought I had finally snapped, that I was so delusional, my mind had finally busted free from my body.
The way Jacob cornered him, yelled at him, made a scene, Breaker didn’t even flinch. He was so cool, so collected, just let that ignorant asshole tear into him for no good reason. The only time I caught a glimmer of concern in his eyes was when I showed him my leg. It was a risky move, but for some reason, I knew everything was going to be okay.
Even when he walked out like nothing happened at all, I had this overwhelming feeling like everything would be alright. I had, for the first time since all this terrible stuff started happening, a thread of hope for the future. I had no idea what that looked like, but I knew everything would be okay.
So I’d deal with my bruises, pulling up a stool to the edge of the table so I could lean against it as I worked my dough. Racheal had showed up shortly before the breakfast rush, and Jacob left soon after, and now that it was just her and I, I could relax a little.
She pulled a bottle of pills out of her pocket and swallowed down a couple before pulling out her make-up compact, dusting underneath her still blood-shot eyes.
“I want you to know, I didn’t mean what I said this morning,” I mumbled, keeping my eyes on my bread. “You are my sister and there’s no way I could ever hate you. You are my blood. Are you sure those pills are safe? I don’t want you to get sick.”
She threw her head back and laughed. “Don’t be cute. You meant what you said. It�
��s the first time anything honest ever came out of your mouth, and I don’t blame you one bit. I’d hate me, too, if I were anyone else on this earth.”
“Don’t say that,” I said calmly. “Nobody should ever hate you.”
“They do,” she said with a smirk, like it was the highest compliment she could pay herself. “It’s because I’m not fucking stupid like the rest of you. I do whatever I want whenever I want. I got this system all figured out. I’m pretty. I’m smart. And unlike you, I never have to touch Jacob’s disgusting dick.”
Her words cut through me. She had no idea what happened this morning. She wasn’t there while he took me in the dirt. I never thought about the things he did to me as sex, or ‘dicks’, just him forcing me to submit to him, proving his power. Sure, everything about him was disgusting, but she thought it was funny. Maybe I did hate her. I knew I wouldn’t want that to ever happen to her, though.
The doorbells jingled, and I went back to work kneading the bread, trying not to bend my knees too much for fear my legs would give out.
“Holy catfish!” Racheal said, her voice instantly going to that low husky place she only uses to impress guys. My heart raced as I looked up to see Rosey standing at the counter. “Two times in two days? What did I do to get so lucky?”
She pulled her hair down from the ponytail and shook it out. “I don’t know what you put in those cookies, mama, but they sure are addicting.”
“Who’s your friend?” she asked. I’d seen that guy in here before, but he never said much. I didn’t care. Neither one of them were Breaker. I wasn’t going to read into this as anything but some regular customers dropping by, even though inside I was burning with disappointment.
“Law,” he said, reaching out his hand. He didn’t much look interested in her. He was busy looking all around the place until his eyes locked square on me. I felt like I was being undressed. Like he was trying to read my mind. I felt overwhelmingly uncomfortable, and I slid back in my stool, out of view from the window in the kitchen.
“So what’s it gonna take to get you on my bike?” I overheard Rosey ask her. “You talk a good game, but that’s about it. When are you finally gonna sneak outta this place and come chill with me?”
My sister’s laugh echoed off the walls, high pitched and dramatic. “Well, you never made a move,” she cooed.
“Wanna see it?” he asked. “I bet you ain’t never had that much power between your legs before.”
“I don’t know,” she teased. “You really think you’re the first guy who’s ever taken me for a ride?”
“Come outside,” he said. “I’ll show ya.” I peeked around the edge of the window and watched her follow him out the door, his hand already on her butt. I waited for the other guy to follow, but he didn’t.
Instead, he walked over to the front door and locked it. Without a word, he walked back into the kitchen. The sheer size of the man made me gulp. He looked so scary standing there in his black leather vest, staring at me like he had before. I put my hands up in the air. “You can take the money from the drawer,” I said. “I won’t tell anyone.”
He still didn’t speak. He walked closer to me, grabbed my hand, and began to pull me towards the back door. I looked up through the panes of glass, and Breaker was standing on the other side. When I got to the porch, I couldn’t even hold in my emotions. I burst into tears before I could even comprehend what was going on.
“Place is bugged,” the man said, punching some buttons on his phone. “Didn’t see any cameras, though.”
“Hannah,” Breaker said softly, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. I jumped involuntarily, the bruises on my back stinging, even though I just wanted to fall into his embrace, cry on his shoulder. Something about him felt right. He’d never touched me before, but nobody had touched me like this before. He wasn’t touching my body. He was touching my soul. Everything about his embrace somehow made sense. “What’s going on, babe?”
“I don’t know. I’m in trouble.”
“Did he hurt you?” he asked.
“He’ll kill you,” I said. “He’ll kill you if you even talk to me. I know it. He’s done it before.” I was whispering, but it sounded so loud.
“First of all, that’s hilarious,” Breaker said. “You think that guy stands a chance? Babe, I want to help you. You gotta tell me what you need, though.”
He loosened his grip and looked me in the eyes. I believed every word that he said, but I was at a loss. “I don’t know,” I said with a shrug. “I have nothing to give you. I don’t know what my options are.”
“You want to stay here? You want me to make him disappear?”
I bit my lip, tears streaming down my face. Jacob disappearing wouldn’t solve anything. Someone else would take his place, and I’m sure I would probably take the blame. I shook my head no.
“You need out?”
“Yes,” I whispered, never so certain about anything in my entire life.
He stroked his fingers through my hair, and I felt like my entire body was going to explode. That simple touch, it was more powerful than anything I’d ever felt before.
“You gotta do exactly what I say. You think you can make it a few more hours?”
“Anything,” I said. The rest of the day was just finishing up at the shop and dinner with my family. Jacob was in town on business. I didn’t care though. He could do his worst to me for the next eight hours if it meant at the end I’d be free.
“Your sister is going to sneak out tonight to meet up with Rosey. You’re going to go with her.”
“I’ve never…” I said. “She’ll never believe me.”
“Come on, Law,” Breaker said. “Let’s just do this now.”
“Not a good idea, brother. Listen, Hannah, we will get you outta here, but broad daylight, it’s too risky. Someone’s gonna call the cops. Maybe not one of your people, but someone will. You follow your sister to the end of that road. There’s gonna be a truck waiting for you.”
“Will you be in it?” I asked Breaker.
“Of course. I’m here for you, Hannah. We’re gonna take good care of you. You don’t have to worry about anybody hurting you ever again.” I believed him. Even though it meant giving up everything I knew about my life, jumping into a world of uncertainty.
“I don’t want to be a burden,” I said. “I’ll earn my keep.”
“You’re not a burden, babe. You’ll never be a burden.” Law’s cellphone chirped, and he opened the back door. “I’ll be waiting for you.”
I stepped back inside, and Law ushered me over to my bread table, before walking to the front door and unlocking it. He stood at the counter with his hands in his pockets like nothing had just happened. All I could hear was the pounding of my heart. All I could think about was the man who would take me away from this place, the man who would save me from this life. I could still smell him on my skin, the feint scent of leather and English cologne, something fresh, something spicy, something foreign. I hoped I’d never forget that scent. I hoped soon I could bathe in it.
I was being ridiculous. He was a good man. He was trying to help me. He wasn’t trying to court me. He wasn’t going to be my husband. He probably already had a wife. That thought alone made me choke back tears. Not that he wasn’t going to be my husband, but that he’d do such a thing out of the goodness of his heart, he’d take a risk to save a stranger, not because he wanted anything in return, but because he wanted to.
The front door jingled and Rosey and Racheal walked in hand in hand. She quickly paced to the counter and began filling a bag of cookies for him. “Will I be seeing you later?” she asked the other man, Law, the man with all the answers.
He just shrugged and walked out the door. Rosey followed shortly behind him, blowing her a kiss as he left.
“What was that all about?” I asked, trying to focus on the task in front of me.
“Don’t you worry about it,” she said. She began to whistle as she joined me in the kitchen, helping m
e load loaves of bread into the oven. “Let’s finish up quickly. I have plans for tonight.”
She had plans, and so did I.
I whistled along with her, like a release valve for my excitement for the night to come. Nobody had to know what was going on in my mind. Nobody had to know why I was suddenly so joyful for the first time in perhaps my whole life.
Chapter Thirteen
Breaker:
If I had my way, she’d already be on the back of my bike. I hated fucking leaving her there. I felt the way she trembled when I barely even touched her, like a dog that was used to getting beat, and nothing about that sat right with me. She didn’t need to be there another day, another minute, hell, another second.
Law was right, though. The place was bugged. Who knew how many eyeballs were on us. I only hoped his plan worked. I had no idea what I would do with Hannah when I got her, but I knew nobody would ever hurt her again. It’d make it my life’s mission.
I couldn’t shake the way she was smiling through her tears, the way she looked up at me like I held all the secrets of the world. I was fucking clueless, but something about her made me feel like she was my destiny, like our worlds revolved around each other's. It was fucking weird. Never felt like that about a bitch before. I guess Hannah really wasn’t a bitch, though.
I cracked open the window in my bedroom, letting the cool breeze wash out the smell of stale weed and cheap perfume. I kept my room pretty clean, but Hannah deserved more than that. Her life was about to change in a big way, and I had to make her feel comfortable, too. I stripped the black comforter off my bed, sheets too, crumpling them up and tossing them in my laundry basket.