by Voss, Deja
This would be the last time I ever set foot in this room.
This might be the last time I ever saw my sister.
I didn’t even kiss my mother goodbye.
What was I getting myself into?
“You coming?” she whispered loudly. “We don’t have all night.”
What was I getting myself into?
I blew out the lantern and hoped for the best. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into but I knew had to get out of here. In that very moment, I didn’t care if the place burned to the ground. I was already gone. It was already too late to turn back.
Chapter Fifteen
Breaker:
I felt like a pussy bringing Judas along with me, but for the first time in my life, I had no idea how to act around a woman. I needed him here as a buffer. I needed him here as a safety net. Someone who would know what to do if she started freaking out.
I knew I’d be freaking out if I were her. She had to be at the end of her rope to run off with me. I felt a huge responsibility to her. Could my rules to bitches really help me out in this circumstance? I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel of my pickup truck. We were parked about a half a mile away from the compound, lights out, tucked off in a ditch. I’d be able to see her coming, but it took everything in me not to just get out and go walking down the road, drag her out of there by whatever force it took.
“It’s after midnight,” I said to Judas, who was sitting in the backseat, his hoodie pulled up over his head, popping corn nuts in his mouth. His girl Athena was trying to get him to quit smoking. He wasn’t doing so hot, fidgeting around like a jumping bean back there. “She should’ve been here hours ago, dude.”
“You really think those people have clocks? Probably have no idea what time it is. Relax. I got nowhere to be.”
I flipped through my phone. Kid hadn’t got back to me yet. I tried texting him again out of lack of anything better to do. I needed to keep my mind busy while I waited. Needed to just let her come to me, otherwise I’d do something stupid.
My phone lit up. It was Rosey calling. My heart raced. If he had Racheal, surely Hannah would be heading down the road any minute. “Dude,” he said, “bitch hasn’t shown up yet.”
“Dammit!” I shouted, punching the dashboard.
“You’re telling me. My balls are so blue I’m pretty sure I’m gonna need to go to the emergency room.”
“Seriously Rosey? Shut up.” This had nothing to do with him getting his dick wet. Something was wrong. Really wrong. “You try calling her?”
“Straight to voicemail.”
“Fuck,” I groaned, running my fingers through my hair. This wasn’t part of the plan. Maybe she changed her mind, but that still wouldn’t explain Racheal’s whereabouts.
“Hold up,” he said. “She just texted me. She’s not coming.”
“Is everything alright?” I asked. “Text her back and make sure everything is alright.”
“Everything is fine. Her dad is up with the flu, though. She can’t get out of the house. I feel like I’m in fucking high school again, trying to sneak bitches out behind their parents’ back.”
“Don’t pretend like you quit that shit once you graduated high school.” I tried to laugh, but I felt crushed, defeated. The thought of her being stuck there one more night, even if everything was alright, had me on high alert.
“Can we get out of here, already?” Judas asked.
“I guess so,” I muttered. I drove by the compound slowly as possible. All the houses were far off the road and I couldn’t see a thing in the dead of night if I tried. It was like everything died when the sun went down, not a light to be seen.
“The fuck are you doing, man?” Judas asked as I stepped on the breaks and put the truck in park.
“I can’t just leave her. I can’t, dude. Something ain’t right. I’m going in there.”
“You’re outta your mind. You don’t know what kinda stuff they’re packing. You don’t know what the fuck you’re going up against. You don’t know jack shit. Let’s just go home. We’ll try again tomorrow.”
“There might not be a tomorrow,” I said.
Chapter Sixteen
Hannah:
“I don’t understand why you have to go there first,” I said to her on our way to Jacob’s house. I wasn’t sure what time it was exactly, but I didn’t want to keep Breaker waiting. I didn’t want him to think I wasn’t coming and leave without me. I knew I had the rest of my life to run away from this place, but I needed to hurry up and get the ball rolling before I lost my nerve.
“It’s just for safety reasons,” she said. “I tell him where I’m going and who I’m going with, what time I’m supposed to get back, all that. One of the guys follows me so I have a getaway car. Just the way this works.”
“You do this every time you go?” I asked.
“Why are you being so nosey?” she scolded. I didn’t know how she could walk so fast in her high heels. She was dragging me along behind her as I huffed and puffed to keep up.
“I just, I mean, those guys are nice. The bikers. They spend lots of money at the bakery. They never did anything to us. You don’t like them?”
She giggled. “I’m not looking for a boyfriend. Besides, Rosey’s so fucking dumb he won’t even notice when I steal his wallet. I’m sure your little man crush will be back to see you next Tuesday as always.”
I hung my head. “I don’t have a crush on him,” I said. “Even if I did, it’s not like anything would ever come of that. I am Jacob’s, remember?”
“You sure are.” She pinched my cheek. “Which is why you’re going to have to be very quiet. I’ll make sure Jeb’s driving tonight. He won’t say anything. If something’s not right, I’ll give you the signal when I come back outside. I’ll say ‘look, a rabbit!’ and you just wait til the coast is clear and go home. Oh my God, this is going to be so fun. I have been dying to party with you for so long. I swear, you’re going to love it.”
“I dunno,” I said. “Last time I went to a party with you wasn’t exactly the best night of my life.” Last time she dragged me to a party was when all this madness started. Last time she dragged me to a party, she delivered me to Jacob on a silver platter, and that was that. She could pretend like she was so drunk she didn’t remember that night, but I knew in her heart she did.
“But you’re over that now. I promise I’ll make it up to you today. I’ve only been to one biker party before, and it was wild.”
I could only imagine what a biker party looked like. It made me nervous, thinking about the kind of people I would meet. Were they going to be mean to me? Were they going to make fun of me? I knew in this dress I stood out like a sore thumb. Reality hit me it wasn’t likely it was just going to be Breaker and I alone, and it made me really nervous.
“Now, duck down in the bushes over there,” she said as we walked up to Jacob’s mansion. His dog was barking loudly, our dog, that stupid puppy I never wanted. As much as I loved animals, I couldn’t bring myself to like that thing. I knew where the money came from. I couldn’t shake that afternoon of dog shopping. How any other time I’d want to take them all home with me, but that day, I was just plain repulsed. “You hear the signal and you get yourself home. I promise I’ll be quick.”
My heart pounded as I climbed into the shrubbery, the branches getting caught in my wild hair. I tried to keep a view of the window, which was ever so slightly cracked. I tried to hear their conversation as his shadow neared.
I was started by the sound of his hand up against her flesh, the sound of her cries. I moved closer to the window, peeking inside. He had her by the hair, and was punching her in the stomach as my brother Michael stood by watching, unflinching. “Where is she?” he shouted repeatedly. “You dumb bitch! Where is she?”
She fell to the floor at his feet.
“I swear, I’m just going out to get some money. I don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t want me to go get some cash?”
> “I don’t know what’s more offensive, the fact that you are lying to my face, or the fact that you don’t realize I know everything. Every breath you take, Racheal. Every text you send on that cellphone. Everything you do in your room at night. I know. I see it. I hear it.”
“I’m sorry,” she cried. “I just wanted her to get out and have a little fun.”
“You wanted to turn her into a whore like you. What you didn’t realize was that you were the butt of this joke. She was going to leave you. She was going to leave us.”
“RABBIT!” she started wailing. “RABBIT! RABBIT!”
I took a deep breath and stood up, untangling myself from the branches. I should’ve taken off running. I couldn’t believe that even after what he’d just told her, she was still trying to protect me. For the first time in our lives, she was offering me mercy, offering me kindness.
I wasn’t going anywhere. Not without her.
I threw open the front door and rushed to her, her face bloodied from his boot. I dropped to my knees on the floor, throwing my body on top of her.
“Do not punish her for my sins,” I said. “She didn’t know. She was just being a kind sister. I was the one who wanted to go out with her. I tagged along.”
“Stupid girl,” he growled, towering over us. “Should’ve run while you got the chance.”
“Run?” I asked. “Why, so you can kill her? It’s not like you wouldn’t just catch me anyway, Jacob.” I brushed her hair from her face, sticky with blood. I didn’t see any markings, but her nose was leaking everywhere. She clung to my body, hugging me tightly.
“Guess you’re not as dumb as I thought,” he said, his laughter demonic.
“How are you just standing here watching this, Micheal? This is your blood! This is your sister!” I shouted.
“This is business, Hannah.” His voice was calm. “You know better than to stick your nose in business. You know your place.”
“This one,” Jacob said, grabbing me by the arm and pulling me up from the floor, “she will never know her place. It’s unfortunate, too. Tightest pussy I’ve ever felt. You wanna see?”
“You’re a monster,” I said, driving my knee into his groin as hard as possible. He doubled over in pain, and for a moment, I felt like I was safe. For a moment, I reveled in the damage I’d just caused on this horrible man. I celebrated a minute too long, and before I could even take a breath, he charged at me, pressing me into the wall, his hand around my neck.
“I might be a monster, but you are a defector. You are the worst of the worst. You think I didn’t know about your little plan? Your little boyfriend? Where is he now?”
So close, but so far away. That’s where he was. Parked at the end of the road. If I closed my eyes, I could hear the low hum of his truck. I couldn’t close my eyes, though. If I did, I feared I would black out as his grip grew tighter. I almost had my chance. I was so close to freedom. Now, death was my only way out, but I knew he was crueler than that.
“Micheal, go get the bag,” he said, grabbing me by the hair and leading me to the couch. My body was too weak to fight. All I could do was gasp for air. “It’s time to send a message to the Indignants.”
“What are you doing?” I cried as he tied the rubber band around my arm. “Please, Jacob, you’re hurting me.”
“You had your chance to see my kind side,” he said. “I would’ve given you anything in the world.”
“Please,” I pleaded. “I’ll be good from now on. I’ll do anything you ask.”
The needle stung as he jabbed it into my arm. “At least I know you will always be mine. My property. My own. I made you, and I destroyed you.” His words sounded blurry. My sister’s crying sounded like it was in slow motion. My body felt warm, different from the whiskey burn, better almost. I didn’t exactly hate this feeling, and then everything went dark.
Chapter Seventeen
Breaker:
“I don’t know what the fuck you even think you’re going to see,” Judas said as we wandered along the dirt pathway into the strange little town. I was using my phone as a flashlight, shining it out in front of our feet. He was right. I had no idea what I was looking for. I didn’t know what house she lived in, and even if I did, it’s not like I could just walk right in and make myself comfortable. A dog barked in the distance and I stopped in my tracks. We didn’t need to wake the whole neighborhood.
“You’re right,” I said. I knew I wasn’t going to see anything, but I was still holding on to hope that maybe she was still coming. Maybe she was wandering down this same path. “Five more minutes and we’ll turn around.”
My phone started ringing, and I hurried to silence it. It was Rosey. “What’s up brother?” I asked as softly as I could.
“I don’t know,” he mumbled. “I don’t know.” He was panicking. I’d know that tone coming out of him anywhere. Not the first time I heard him freaking out “You gotta get here.”
“Where?” I asked, grabbing Judas by the arm and sprinting towards the road.
“Wake up!” he was shouting. “Come on, girl. Wake up!”
“For fucks’ sake Rosey, where are you?” I shouted.
“About a mile from the clubhouse. Hurry up, I don’t know what to do!” he said. My heart sunk into my stomach, adrenaline pumping through my bloodstream. He didn’t have to tell me what was going on. I already knew exactly what was happening by the way he was shouting.
“What’s going on?” Judas muttered.
I jumped into the truck and drove faster than I’d ever driven in my entire life. Maybe I was just being crazy. I could only hope I was being overly paranoid. I tossed my phone to Judas, letting him take over. I tried to black out the words coming out of his mouth, the way he was talking Rosey through CPR.
We got to the scene in record time, and I barely put the truck in park before I sprung out onto the road. My worst fear was coming true. Sprawled out on the pavement was Hannah’s unmoving body, laid out like this was her funeral wake in her ugly gray dress.
“What the fuck?” I screamed. Rosey was hunched over her body, his bike laid on its side. “What the fuck did you do?”
I dropped down to her side, stroking her face. Her breath was shallow, but it was there. I pushed him out of the way, feeling for her pulse. She looked like a doll, her skin unnaturally white like plastic, cold and clammy, her eyes squinted tight.
“I didn’t do shit,” he said. “I was just driving down the road and she was laying in the middle of it. Had to veer so I wouldn’t hit her.”
“She breathing?” Judas asked.
“Barely,” I said. Her face was caked in what looked like make-up, black smudges all around her eyes. I needed to do something, fast, but it scared me to move her, afraid I’d shatter her body. “Hannah, it’s me,” I whispered, ripping away the top button of her dress, trying to give her more room to breathe. “You have to wake up. You’re safe. It’s going to be okay.”
My mind went to that dark place. That day I found my momma passed out on the bathroom floor, the kinds of breaths she was taking before she just stopped. I did that to her. I did this to Hannah. I was the one who made her run away, and now I was going to lose her.
“We gotta call an ambulance,” I said. “We gotta get someone here. I’m not gonna let you die.”
I jolted as she began to cough. Her eyes snapped open. They were filled with fear, sheer terror, and as much as I was relieved, I didn’t know what to do. She turned her head and began to vomit, and all I could do was hold her hair back.
“Go on girl,” I whispered, “get it all out.” She pushed herself up on her hands and knees, sobbing as she evacuated her guts all over the pavement. Rosey and Judas stood there with their hands in their pockets, just watching. “You okay?” I asked. “You alright?”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, spit dripping from her mouth. “I don’t know what’s happening to me.” I lifted her in my arms, her skin covered in cold sweat. Her whole body was shivering, nearly convulsi
ng, but she clung to me with all her might, resting her head on my shoulder. “I tried,” she stammered. “I tried.”
“You did fine,” I said, trying to contain my panic. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen shit like this, but this time was totally different. This time, I had no idea what to do or say. I opened the back door of the truck and climbed inside with her, hugging her shivering body, stroking her hair, letting her sob into my arms. “What happened, babe?” I asked. “What are you doing on the road?”
“I don’t know,” she said, tears pouring from her eyes. “I don’t remember anything. I’m really tired. Can I please just go to sleep?”
By now, Judas was in the driver’s seat and we were on our way to the clubhouse.
“Did you hit your head?” I asked.
She shook her head no, barely able to keep her eyes open. She began to drift off in my arms and I kept my hand on her chest, making sure it was still rising and falling. If she had a concussion, this wasn’t good. I had no idea what the fuck was wrong with her. None of this was good.
“You up, Delaney?” Judas asked into his phone. “We’re gonna be at the house in about three minutes. Got a puking bitch, no broken bones, breath and pulse weak, struggling to stay awake, no signs of head contusion.” The way he said it so calmly, so matter-of-factly, I was thankful he was taking the wheel. There was no way I could keep my shit together long enough to have that discussion.
She twitched in my lap, her clenched fist nearly clocking me in the jaw. I took her hand in mine, bringing it to my lips. “You’re gonna be alright, Hannah. I promise on my life.” As her hand relaxed, something fell out of it onto the floor of the truck. I picked up the baggie off the floor. It was the same baggie Colt handed me earlier.
“What the fuck,” I growled, tossing it over the seat onto Judas’ lap.
“Shit,” Judas said, holding it up to the light. “You think little Amish bitch is into H?”