by Voss, Deja
I jammed my fist into the seat. “No. And don’t fucking call her that one more time. This is fucking personal. Somebody was trying to kill her and frame us. Somebody wanted her found with that bag on her.”
“I’m going to be sick,” she whispered, not even opening her eyes. “I’m dizzy.”
“We’re almost home, babe,” I said. “You’re gonna be alright. You’re safe now.”
Almost home. Every doubt I had about what I would do with her once I sprung her loose flew out the window. I was never letting this girl out of my sight again. I almost lost her once, but she was mine now. Nobody would ever hurt her. Nobody would ever take advantage of her. Anyone who tried was going to wish they were dead.
Chapter Eighteen
Hannah:
My temples throbbed. My stomach felt raw. My breath tasted terrible. The inside of my mouth felt like it was covered in wool. I couldn’t keep my eyes open long enough to know what was real and what was a dream, if I was alive, or if I was stuck in purgatory.
I had to be dreaming. I heard Breaker’s voice whispering in my ear, telling me I was going to be alright, and I clung to him, believing every word he said, but this was not what my reality was supposed to look like. The only thing that made this seem real was the fact that he smelled so good. Like always. Could you smell in your sleep? It was all so vivid.
There were muffled voices. Somebody was yelling. Someone was crying. Maybe that was me. Door slammed and music blared, but it wasn’t any songs I’d ever heard.
Suddenly, I was alone. No one to cling to. My eyes snapped open, and so did my mouth. All I could do was scream. I forgot every word I knew.
I was laying in a bed. I knew it wasn’t mine. The walls of the room were red and there was a giant mirror on the wall. The fabric of my dress felt itchy, felt like it was made of fire ants. I began to rip at it. When that didn’t quell the pain, I began to rip at my flesh, scratching until I was bloody. I knew I was alive by the bloody stain forming on the sleeve of my dress. I knew I was awake because the pain was real. Not some muted, delirious, imaginary pain.
The bedroom door swung open, and there he stood, larger than life. He had this look on his face I’d never seen before. His eyes were squinted and his jaw was tense, like a dog about to attack. It almost frightened me, until his lips turned up into a gentle but sad smile.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I was just in the hallway making a call. What did you do?” He rushed to my side, pulling up the sleeve of my dress, gasping at the sight of my arm. It was so bruised it was black. The place where I scratched was leaking blood, and he grabbed a tissue from the nightstand and pressed it to my skin as I yelped. “Everything’s okay now, Hannah. You’re safe.”
“Alexander,” I mumbled. “What happened?”
“That’s what I’m trying to figure out now. All of us. You’re safe here, Hannah. I want you to know that. Nobody is going to hurt you.”
Here. This was the place I’d been trying to escape to all along. I’d made it. How I got here, though, I couldn’t remember.
“I feel weird,” I said, trying to sit up, but my head began spinning. I looked down at my dress, and it was stained with puke. I put my hands over it, trying to cover it. “I’m so embarrassed.”
“You have nothing to be embarrassed about, babe,” he said, taking my hand in his and squeezing it. Nobody had ever made me feel so safe before. I trusted him. I still didn’t like the fact that I was stretched out in front of him looking like this, all bloody and gross in my stupid gray dress. He was too kind. “Tressica is gonna come help you get cleaned up if you want. She’s really nice. She’s a good person. You can trust her.”
I nodded, the idea of hot water sounding like the best thing in the world. Maybe once I was clean, things would start to make sense.
“I have to ask you something, and I promise I won’t say nothin’ either way,” he said. He brushed my hair out of my face, his touch so kind and soft, I would answer anything he asked me without a second thought. “Did you shoot yourself up?”
“What does that even mean?” I asked. “Like with a gun?”
“I didn’t think so. I promise nobody is gonna bother you, Hannah. If anybody comes around asking you shit tell them to fuck off and talk to me.” I raised my eyebrows. “Somebody drugged you, Hannah. This bruise? That’s from somebody putting a needle in your arm.” He traced his fingers over that mark just lightly enough to show me what he was talking about. I winced a little. “I’m sorry.” He pressed his lips to my forehead, and my heart nearly exploded. I’d never been kissed kindly before. It was so innocent, like a mother kissing a child’s scraped knee, but to me it felt like so much more. It was strangely loving. Strangely caring.
Not like anything I’d expect from some biker with tattoos and earrings and a skull on his shirt. He was more gentle with me than anyone from the compound had ever been.
“Jacob!” I said, snapping back into reality. “It had to be Jacob!”
“You think he would try to kill you?”
“No,” I said, my head beginning to pound again. Why would Jacob try to kill me? I was his prized possession. “I don’t know. I’m sorry. I’m very confused.”
“It’s okay, babe,” he said, kissing me again. “We’ll get this all figured out. We’ll figure it out, and I’ll take care of it, and you won’t every have to worry about anything again.”
“Why?” I asked. “Why do you want to help me?”
He shook his head and shrugged. There was a soft knock on the door, and he walked over to answer it. “It’s Tressica. You want to take a bath?” he asked.
I nodded enthusiastically. As much as I enjoyed spending time with him, I was disgusting, disoriented, and desperate to get out of this itchy dress. A tall beautiful woman with the thickest curliest blonde hair I’d ever seen peeked her head in the doorway and smiled at me kindly. “This is Hannah?” she asked.
“Yup,” he said. “Take good care of her?”
“Of course.”
“I’ll be right outside, I promise,” he said as he winked at me. He hugged Tressica, and I wondered if maybe she was his girlfriend. It would make sense. She was gorgeous, and he was perfect.
“I’m glad to meet you,” she said as she sat down on the edge of the bed. “Sucks it’s under this circumstance. We were all looking forward to meeting you.”
“Really?” I stammered, sitting up. “Why?”
“Breaker is a good judge of character. If he says somebody’s a good person, you know it’s the truth.” She had a cloth bag with elephants printed all over it and she held it up. “I put some stuff together for you. I don’t know if you’ll like any of it, but we can figure the rest out tomorrow.”
“For me?” I asked. It was so bizarre to me that a stranger would go out of her way to do something kind. To give me things. I started to pull clothes out of the bag, and it brought me to tears.
“If you hate it all, you don’t have to cry. You can just tell me,” she said with a giggle.
“I just… I mean…” I motioned to my dress. “I don’t know anything about fashion. These are all beautiful.”
“Well, you’re a beautiful girl, Hannah. If you like what you’re wearing, you can wear that. I’ll wash it for you.”
“No,” I laughed, clutching the soft red t-shirt to my chest. “Please, no.”
“You’re cute,” she teased. “How about a bath?”
“That sounds heavenly.”
I didn’t realize how hard it would be to get up from the bed, how messed up my body actually was, and I had to use her arm to steady myself. The little bathroom attached to the bedroom smelled like bleach and lemons, and she flipped on the lights and nodded in approval. “I’ve never seen this bathroom so clean before. Normally you couldn’t pay me to come in this room.”
I slipped my shoes off, and she started the bath water. “How do you like it?” she asked.
“However,” I said. I felt a little woozy, and sat down on the toil
et seat, trying to fight back the wave of dizziness flowing through me. “You really don’t have to stay. I can do this.”
“I don’t mind at all. I have nothing better to do. Ooh!” she said and began digging in her purse. “You’re going to really love this.” She dropped this orange ball into the water, and it began to fizz, bright orange bubbles that smelled like sugary sweet oranges beginning to overflow the tub.
“What is that?” I asked, my eyes wide.
“It’s a bath bomb. It’ll make your skin feel so good.” I hoped so. My skin still felt like it was burning, and that didn’t even include the bruises on my back from yesterday. I suddenly got nervous, wondering what she’d say when she saw them.
“You can get in,” she said, motioning to the water.
“I need to… undress?”
“Trust me, you don’t have anything I haven’t seen before,” she said with a giggle. “But if it’ll make you feel better, I promise I won’t look.” She covered her eyes with her hands and I began to peel off my itchy gray dress, hoping that this would be the last time I ever had to see that horrible rag. I stepped into the tub, the warm sudsy water making me inadvertently moan. As I went to sit down, I whooped, nearly slipping. She grabbed my arm to steady me and helped me down. Her eyes immediately switched from smiling to a look of concern, and I knew she’d seen my back.
“It’s nothing,” I said.
“Babe, you need some medicine on that. You’re gonna get an infection.”
“It’ll be fine,” I said, slipping down into the tub, letting the bubbly water swallow me whole.
“Listen, Hannah, I like you. If you’re going to be my friend, though, be honest with me. You have to understand nobody here is going to judge you. When I say I’ve seen it all, I mean it. If you don’t want to talk about it, I understand, but I’m here for you if you do.”
“You’re too kind,” I said. I hardly knew her, but she seemed so sincere. Having a friend who was a girl was so foreign to me. I wondered what she would even see in me as a friend. At this point, I was pretty much useless. “I don’t understand why everyone is being so nice to me.”
“Why wouldn’t we be? You’re a nice girl.”
“I’m stupid. I’m useless. I’m a burden,” I said.
“Whoever told you those things… and whoever did that to you…” she said, bringing a washcloth to my back. “You don’t have to worry about that person anymore.” I cringed as she gently dabbed at my wounds, flinching each time the fabric touched my skin.
The door swung open, and Tressica reached for the shower curtain, pulling it tight as quickly as possible. “Colt! What the fuck?” she shouted. “Haven’t you ever heard of knocking?”
I peeked out around the edge of the plastic and standing there was the tallest man I’d ever seen in my life. He had eyes that were unnaturally blue, and a grizzled beard. His legs were as thick as tree trunks. He looked frightening to me.
“The door was unlocked,” he said. “Is she awake?”
“Of course she’s awake. Now get out of here. The poor girl’s been through enough today without having to deal with your sketchy ass.”
“I just want to ask her something.” He reached for the shower curtain, and Tressica slapped his hand away. I jumped back in the tub, fearing for her life. How bold she was! “I’m not fucking around, Tressica. This is club shit. I gotta find out who dosed this bitch.”
“You don’t need anything from her tonight. Now go get some towels. There’s none in here.” She pointed her finger at the doorway, staring at him in defiance. My lip trembled. He was going to hit her. I knew he was going to hit her.
“Get your own fucking towels,” he growled.
“Excuse me?” she stammered. She stood up and got right in his face. I could see his nostrils flaring. “You will go get us some clean towels, right now, Colt. Now get out of here!” She turned to the bathtub, and he stood there staring at her. I didn’t mean to stare, but he was adjusting his jeans, which were bulged out. I slapped my hand over my eyes. I didn’t think I was supposed to see that. What strange games these two played. I thought he was going to kill her, but I think he actually liked the way she talked to him.
I definitely didn’t know the first thing about animal behavior. Was that what men liked? I could never imagine yelling at Breaker like that.
I heard the door close and rested my head against the shower wall. She pulled the curtain open. “I’m sorry about that, Hannah. Colt’s a lot. This is his club, and he takes it very seriously. He’s not a bad guy. He just doesn’t trust most outsiders. He’ll come around.”
“Is he your husband?” I asked.
She just giggled. “No ring on this finger, sweetie. He’s just, I don’t know, the best and worst thing that ever happened to me.”
I laughed, dipping my shoulders deeper under the water. I splashed some on my face, realizing my eyelashes were clumpier than normal. Was I wearing make-up?
Colt opened the door once again, this time only sticking his arm him. Draped over it were the fluffiest towels I’d ever seen in my life. “That’s a good boy,” she teased, pushing the door shut behind him.
“How are you feeling now?” she asked. “You look like the color’s coming back to your skin.”
“I think I could live in here forever.”
She smiled at me, watching in fascination as I treaded my arms through the water, dunking my head underneath a few times, stretching my legs up in the air. I looked over and there was a tear running down her cheek.
“Are you alright?” I asked.
“I’m fine,” she said. “Just, what you’ve been through, just by looking at you, and how you can sit here and be happy and content, it makes me feel bad. I’m sorry. I don’t want to upset you.”
“You can’t upset me,” I said. “I know I’m safe now. I’m free.”
Chapter Nineteen
Breaker:
“You gotta let Delaney examine her,” Tressica whispered loudly. “Her back is all fucked up. She needs medicine or something. Antibiotics. I don’t know. It’s bad bad.”
I was doing my best to keep everyone the fuck away from Hannah. She had a rough enough night as it was, and between Colt trying to interrogate her and everybody else trying to be fucking lookie-loos, I was getting pissed off.
“Seriously? Let her sleep. She’s been poked and prodded enough already.” Every second I had to stand out here in the hallway and deal with these assholes was another second I couldn’t be with her. Granted, she was already passed out under the covers, but I would sit up all night watching her sleep. Even though only a door was dividing the two of us I felt like she was too far away.
“Just, here,” she said, pulling something out of her purse. “If you’re not gonna let Delaney do it, then you need to.” She handed me some Neosporin, and I stared at it like she’d just put a snake in my hand.
“What’s wrong with you?” she asked.
“I can’t… touch her like that.”
“What?” she asked, cocking her head at me. “Since when can’t you touch a woman? You’ve been banging on about her for forever now, and you’re scared to put some goop on her back?”
It just didn’t feel right. I knew somebody hurt her bad. I didn’t want her to think I was trying to do that to her, too. I didn’t want to break her. I didn’t want her to get the wrong idea.
“Can’t you just do it?” I asked.
“You go in there right now,” she hissed. “Poor fucking girl was willing to run away for your dumbass. You will not give her the cold shoulder now.”
“That’s not what I’m doing, Tress. I swear, babe. I just don’t feel right, you know, acting like myself. She don’t need that right now.”
“It’s exactly what she needs right now. I promise. You of all people know how to make anyone feel better. You have a gift.” I had a gift, alright. I knew how to get into girls’ pants. I knew how to make bitches feel good. Trying to comfort this woman, though, there was nothing
about that in my handbook. Trying to make right because it was my fault she was here to begin with?
“I need to find out who did this to her,” I said. “We need to be out on the streets looking for answers.”
“Breaker, I swear if you run off on her, I will never speak to you again. Don’t be a fucking coward.”
Reena came down the hallway with a tray in her hands. “You think she’s hungry?” she asked.
“You can go find out,” I suggested. “I don’t think anyone would turn down your cooking, hungry or not.”
“Breaker,” Tressica hissed. “You go in there and ask her yourself.”
Reena nodded and handed me the tray. I was acting like an idiot. I don’t know why I was so scared of her. So scared of fucking it up. Scared she would hate me. It was weird.
“Thanks,” I said, as Tressica pulled open the door for me. All the lights were on in the spare bedroom. Hannah was just a little lump under a big black comforter, her head peeking out of the top, eyes closed. She looked peaceful sleeping there, looked like she was smiling. I wondered what she could dream about that would make her smile like that. All the horror she’d been through and somehow getting dropped here in the sin bin was enough to make her happy? She definitely had to be high still.
I was just glad she was breathing. Those twenty minutes where I thought I would lose her were some of the longest of my life. Everything flashed back to the day I found my mom overdosed, and I went into shock. Probably why I was so scared of her right now. She could’ve been the second woman I cared about who died because of my stupidity.
I set the tray down on the nightstand, quietly as possible. I sat down on the armchair in the corner, unlacing my boots. I didn’t want to wake her up, but Tressica was right. I needed to be here with her. I wondered if she was going to flip out when she woke up and saw me sitting here staring at her. I know I would.
Not a minute passed before a moan escaped her sweet little lips. “Mmm,” she said, breathing in deeply. “What am I smelling?”