Tough Talk

by Jessie Gussman

  I have a long-standing arrangement with a man I grew up with from an affluent family. He just became my fiancé. We have a solid friendship, and I owe a huge debt to his mother, who has always hinted at how much she would love to see us married. We love each other. Of course we do. It’s a win-win for both of us, especially since I do not believe in passionate love lasting. It’s great for a while, but then it fades, and all you have left is basically what I have now—a good friend.

  The problem is that I’m afraid I might be falling in love with someone else. The feelings are stronger than I ever thought they could be. I think about this person constantly and want to be with him every second. I look at him, and my heart sings. I understand poetry now and why men would risk everything they’ve spent their whole lives building just to be with a woman. The man I’m infatuated with is a good man. Steady. A blue-collar worker. In fact, he has integrity and character, where my fiancé has maybe just a façade, I believe.

  From the time I was little, I saw my mom move from man to man. I’m a social worker, and I work with kids every day whose parents were passionately “in love” and now are in divorce court, while their kids come to me, crying. Heartbroken. It hurts. And I wonder because no couple goes into a marriage thinking it’s not going to last, but half the time, it doesn’t. How do I know that my passionate love actually will last? I am afraid to take that chance.

  By the way, I mentioned the social status of the two men because, after some deep reflection on my part, there are two main things that make a couple “fall out of love.” One is adultery, and the other is fighting about money. Is this your experience as well?

  I don’t want to give up what I have and replace it with someone I’ll regret years down the road when our “love” fades. How do I know? How do I choose? What should I do? And, to be honest, I don’t even know if the guy I’m falling for feels the same for me.

  Thanks in advance for your help.

  Kelly Irwin, Brickly Springs, PA

  Tough stared at the screen. Kelly Irwin was a pretty common name, but there could be no doubt that it was his Kelly. His.

  He didn’t even have to think about what his answer would be. But he didn’t want to say it. Didn’t want to write it. And wouldn’t. Not today.

  He shut his computer off. Today was his brother’s wedding. Kelly would be there. He would enjoy it. He would spend time with Kelly. He would be a friend. He would look her in the eye. He would force his tongue to work. He would try to flirt if that were possible. He would have a good time with a nice girl, then he would come home and tell her what she needed to hear: stay with Preston. Because Tough wasn’t good enough.

  KELLY STOOD AT THE back of the church, listening to the beautiful organ music. If she continued with her wedding plans, it was definitely going to include a huge organ and a massive sanctuary to get the full acoustic effect.

  So far, she’d been with the girls and hadn’t seen Tough. It wasn’t exactly a typical wedding because of the kids and Cassidy’s and Torque’s relaxed attitudes. Things had been a little chaotic.

  Still, he had to be somewhere close. Not only was her skin pricking, but it was almost time for them to walk up together. She had not looked for him, and he had not stepped up beside her. She moved forward as Colton and Harris stepped out slowly together. Turbo stood at the head of the church with a glint in his eye. He had something planned, she was sure. Hopefully it wasn’t something that was going to ruin Cassidy’s big day.

  She lifted her chin. She would walk up by herself if Tough didn’t show. It wouldn’t surprise her too much if he didn’t anyway, as much as he hated crowds and being in front of people. A little shiver of disappointment curved around her neck. She would have bet that he would face his fear and fulfill his responsibilities.

  Giving herself a mental shake, she firmly insisted it didn’t matter. She hadn’t gotten to talk to Preston last night. Just a few texts. She couldn’t break up with him with a text. But she had sent the email to Dr. T.

  Harris and Colton reached the halfway point.

  Tough materialized beside her. Even though she was expecting him, his presence still startled her, and she jerked her head around to look at him. Which was a mistake.

  He wore a tux, and he wore it better than anyone she’d ever seen in one, and she’d seen a lot of men in tuxes. The cut broadened his shoulders while the white shirt contrasted with his dark complexion. He stared down into her eyes. His own were dark, more mahogany than walnut. She shivered from the intensity and looked away.

  His arm was up, waiting for her to place her hand on it. His hands had been scrubbed. Pink patches of skin and a few red scabs showed where he’d taken the skin off to get the grease out. Her heart pinched at the thought of Tough, alone in his garage, scrubbing his hands until they bled to get rid of the stains of his honest labor. Tears pricked her eyes. She blinked. She couldn’t cry. Not over Tough washing his hands. What was wrong with her?

  She swallowed and turned her lips up, looking again into his eyes as she slipped her hand in the cradle of his arm. Even through the fabric of his tux, his arm was solid and roped with muscle.

  “You okay?” he asked in a rough whisper.

  She nodded.

  He jerked his head, and they started down the aisle. It wasn’t her wedding, and it wasn’t her day, but she had to fight to keep from closing her eyes to savor the feeling. The majestic organ music and the just man beside her were more than enough to fill her soul to overflowing with peace and contentment. She would never have this feeling with Preston. But were feelings enough to base a life on? At this moment in time, she wanted to say yes, because she never wanted this amazingness to end.

  They reached the end of the aisle where they parted. Her hand felt empty and her heart alone as they separated. She wanted to hold on, to never let go. Was this love?

  Jamal made it down the aisle without incident. The twins weren’t so blessed. There were two of them but only one basket, and they both wanted to be the only one to carry it. The guests got several good laughs out of their antics before Catherine caught them and sat them down. One big lump of flower petals lay in a heap right in the middle of the aisle. They made it out of the basket, at least. She met Tough’s eyes, and both corners of his mouth tilted up. Her stomach curled, low and warm.

  Cassidy, the most beautiful bride Kelly had ever seen, walked sedately up the aisle, and the ceremony began. Kelly listened with half an ear until Jamal walked up the steps with the pillow on which the rings were supposed to be. One small ring nestled on the pillow, along with another huge ring that looked to be big enough to put in a bull’s nose... Turbo had a big smirk on his face. Kelly rolled her eyes and glanced at Tough, wondering if he had anything to do with it. He lifted a shoulder almost imperceptibly. It wasn’t him. She breathed out in relief.

  Some of the guests who were closer and could see tittered, and some, probably the ones who knew Turbo and had expected something of that nature, laughed out loud. Cassidy didn’t appear to be upset, which gave Kelly the freedom to enjoy.

  “This ring appears to be a little big. Do we have another?” the pastor asked with a sparkle in his eye that led Kelly to believe this wasn’t his first rodeo either.

  Turbo reached into his lapel and pulled out a Cracker Jack box.

  Of course. It’s in the box. But the box appeared to be unopened.

  “Maybe you’ll find something you can use in here. After all, you always said I got my driver’s license from a Cracker Jack box,” Turbo said, handing the box to Torque.

  Torque took the box with a long-suffering grimace and opened it. Turbo held his hands out while Torque dumped the box of popcorn into them. He easily cupped the contents of the small box of cereal in his two massive hands.

  No ring. Torque’s lips pinched. He turned the empty box toward him and stuck a finger in. He pulled out a small green whistle.

  “That ain’t gonna work,” Turbo said, still smirking.

  Kelly didn’t turn h
er head, but she could hear shuffling and whispers coming from the guests seated mere feet away from them.

  A muscle in Torque’s cheek began to twitch.

  Turbo dropped the popcorn on the floor and crossed his arms over his chest. “Give him the ring, Tough. Quit messing around. I’d like to eat today.”

  Everyone’s face whipped to Tough. His wide eyes, raised brows, and slightly parted lips told Kelly as plain as day that he had no clue what Turbo was talking about. Still, he closed his mouth, his jaw muscles bunching together, and slowly, almost fatalistically, put his hands in his pockets. His left hand came back out, holding a bright pink ribbon to which was tied a small, shiny, golden band.

  The guests clapped and cheered.

  Torque grabbed it.

  “Man, Tough,” Turbo said. “Don’t you think it’s time you grew up and stopped acting like a kid everywhere you go? This isn’t the time or the place...”

  “Shut up,” Torque growled.

  Harris looked horrified. Cassidy seemed resigned. Tough’s face was bright pink even over his tanned complexion. Kelly had the strangest urge to laugh.

  Thankfully that was all Turbo had planned for the ceremony, although the pastor might have rushed the rest of it, because Torque and Cassidy were married shortly after. Which was just as well, since the kids were getting restless.

  He presented the beaming couple, who walked down the aisle. The wedding party followed. Since the receiving line would be at the reception, they went straight out the back doors of the sanctuary.

  “Come on.” Tough grabbed her elbow. “You want to see if the horn thing works?”

  She allowed herself to be pulled out the front door. “I thought the car was in the back?” But there it sat, down at the end of the steps and still filled to the top with cereal.

  “I left it in neutral. Turbo pushed, and I steered with the rope I attached to the steering wheel.”

  She’d been to a lot of weddings, but she’d already had more fun at this one than at any of the others she’d been to, and they hadn’t even made it to the reception. Although she had to hand it to Cassidy. She wasn’t sure there was another woman on the planet who would remain unruffled by Turbo’s antics.

  The bridal party stood on the steps as Torque and Cassidy walked to their car.

  “Nice ring, Cassidy. Don’t lose the whistle, you might need it.” Turbo’s smirk had gotten bigger.

  “So I can ram it down your throat,” Torque said, but he laughed as he did so and pulled Cassidy closer to his side before leaning down and kissing her.

  “If you weren’t such a good babysitter, we would never put up with you,” Cassidy said with a grin as they walked down the steps.

  Tough’s hand, still pink and scabbed, with not a spot of black grease, sat easily on Kelly’s shoulder. She resisted the urge to snuggle back into his chest or grab his hand and lace his fingers with her own.

  If Torque and Cassidy thought it strange that the entire bridal party continued to stand on the steps as they moved toward the car and the guests came spilling out of the church, they didn’t let on.

  It was easy to tell when Torque noticed the cereal. He paused, mid-stride. Then turned and looked straight at Turbo, who was completely prepared for that reaction, having experienced it before, apparently. He raised his hands in innocence and pointed directly at Kelly. Kelly, who had never done anything like that before in her life, was most definitely not prepared and stood with wide eyes, a gaping mouth, and the guiltiest look possible on her face.

  Cassidy and Torque shared a look of shock. Tough shifted behind her, and she realized he was silently telling Torque, Come on, do you really think Turbo had nothing to do with this?

  Torque just grinned and rolled his eyes. He opened Cassidy’s car door, and piles of cereal fell to the ground. They scooped out enough for her to get in, and the guests cheered when he finally closed the door around her.

  Torque did the same to his side and started the car. He pulled slowly out to the road.

  Even though Kelly was expecting the horn to honk, she wasn’t expecting it to be such an earsplitting, deafening sound. When the brake lights came on, the horn gave such a thunderous blast it would have blown her socks off, if she’d been wearing any. She jumped back, and Tough’s arms came around her. A few seconds later, she felt Tough’s phone buzz.

  He kept one arm around her while he pulled his phone out and held it so she could read Torque’s text.

  The horn was not Turbo.

  Tough texted back with one hand. It was Kelly.

  Kelly gasped. “It was not!”

  Not believing it.

  She handed me the tools.