Tough Talk

by Jessie Gussman

He sighed, put out, and she couldn’t believe she’d made such a huge blunder. What had she been thinking? This wasn’t Preston’s idea of “good food.”

  “I’m sorry. I just found this place. It’s close to where my newest activity center is, and I loved it. I wanted to share. Obviously, I wasn’t thinking straight, or I would have realized it wasn’t something you would enjoy.” She bit her lip and rubbed her hand over the steering wheel. “We can go somewhere else?” She loved the place. Because it was in such a rough part of town, she felt they needed the business. If Preston liked it, he’d refer his friends...

  “No.” He reached for the door handle. “We’re here now. I can make do. Plus, if you say it’s good, I’m sure it is. You have impeccable taste.”

  They got out and walked in. Kelly stood back and allowed Preston to pick the seat. She was thankful when he chose one right by the window. Not that she enjoyed the passersby on the sidewalks being able to look in at them, but more because the table in the back, where they were mostly obscured, where she and Tough had eaten, was special. Sacred, maybe, and she didn’t want to sit there with Preston.

  Preston scanned the menu. “So what did you have that was so good?”

  “Well, their Greek food is authentic. The salad was amazing, but the gyro looked really good, and I think you’d like it.”

  “So you’ve been here multiple times?” he asked without looking up.

  “Nope. Just once.”

  “Who were you with?” He laid the menu down and looked over the table at her.

  “A friend. One who was helping me with the activity center.”

  “Cassidy? Harris?”

  “Tough Baxter. You don’t know him.”

  “Tough? That’s an actual name? Were his parents drunk or high when they named him?”

  She shrugged, ignoring his rudeness. She’d heard much stranger names. “His whole family has odd names. Some people do that.” She tapped her menu. “When you figure out what you want, we have to go up and order it ourselves.”

  “Really?” Preston looked around. “There’s no server?”

  “Nope.” Kelly smiled, but Preston’s mouth flattened. “I can order for you if you want.”

  “Yeah. Do that, please. I’m tired. I’ll take the gyro if you think that’s what I’ll like.”

  She went up, placed their order, and paid for it, bringing their drinks back with her.

  “No alcohol?”

  She shook her head. “They don’t serve it here.”

  Was this a good time to broach the serious conversations she wanted to have? He was tired and grumpy from his flight and trip. But she didn’t want to wait. Every day that she procrastinated was one more day that she’d stolen from Preston being able to move forward.

  Funny how she was so comfortable talking to him about his business details and things that no one else but Preston and she knew in politics, charities, and his attorney practice, but it dawned on her that they really didn’t have personal conversations.

  His phone dinged again with yet another text. It had been almost constant since she’d picked him up. And he kept holding his phone so it slanted away from her.

  She opened her mouth to ask him who it was. The clerk, a different one than the last time she was here with Tough, brought their food. Preston waited until she left then picked up his fork. “What’s up? Something’s on your mind.”

  “I’m not sure,” Kelly said slowly. A thought, one of those random, “the universe just dropped it in my head” kind of thoughts, just popped into her head. She considered her next question carefully because she knew it could change her life. “Where...where do you meet your girlfriend?”

  “I’m very discreet, you know that, Kelly. Why?” He paused with his fork halfway to his mouth. “Did you hear something? Surely not.”

  “No. No, I didn’t hear anything.” She spoke, but her words felt cut off. Distant. Like they came out of someone else’s mouth while she watched from a very high mountain. She wasn’t hurt, just shocked. This was not something that she’d expected or thought. Preston didn’t realize he’d dealt her such a severe blow.

  He swallowed, all but smacking his lips. “You’re right. This is amazing. The best gyro I’ve ever had.”

  “The shop owners are from Greece.” Her mouth worked. The right words came out. But she felt like she was having an out-of-body experience.

  Preston was acting like...like he thought she knew. Or should have known.

  She thought she loved him. She just figured...figured what? That Preston wasn’t demonstrative? That they were so comfortable with each other since they practically grew up together? She had never considered their lack of passion. Not until Tough.

  Had Preston taken their lack for granted? Like he knew, and she knew, they just made a good couple? Her chest felt frozen. But it didn’t hurt. Not really. She wasn’t devastated. Not like she would be if Tough...

  A shadow fell over the table. Tough stood there in a white tee, old jeans, and work boots, holding his used plate and balled-up napkin. He must have been eating at the table where they’d sat together. A pang went through her at the thought of him eating alone. As usual.

  His eyes, dark and deep, studied her, asking questions she couldn’t answer, demanding answers she couldn’t give, offering support she could never accept.

  She took a breath. “Tough.” Her voice was an octave too high with too much tremolo. Clearing her throat, she slapped a smile on her face. “Preston, this is Tough Baxter. I told you he was helping me renovate?”

  “You did.”

  Tough didn’t offer his hand, and neither did Preston, who also didn’t stand up.

  Preston looked at her. “Is this the activity center I specifically told you I didn’t want you to do until our wedding was planned?”

  “It is.”

  Preston’s lips pinched together. “I see.” He chewed thoughtfully then swallowed. “We need to talk about the wedding.” He looked over at Tough as though surprised to see him still there. “Did you need something?” Preston asked, his tone haughty.

  Kelly set her unused fork down and stood, pushing the rush of anger that swamped the back of her neck down. She refused to allow him to make her angry. “I actually wanted to talk to Tough for a few minutes, if you’ll excuse me.”

  She took Tough’s arm and dragged him out the door behind her where they could talk on the sidewalk.

  But she didn’t have anything to say. Not really. She just needed to recover from the shock that shouldn’t have been a shock. And to allow the unexpected anger to fade.

  She ended up standing on the sidewalk, facing Tough, her hand still on his arm. His eyes still asking the questions she wouldn’t answer.

  A deep sigh slipped out from between her lips. “I didn’t know. I mean, I thought we loved each other. I knew we were friends. We both wanted to make his mom happy, but I didn’t know he was planning...that he...” She ran a hand through her hair. “I didn’t know.”

  “Stop.” Tough’s voice came out, low, deep, commanding. “He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know what is sitting right across from him.” He raised a finger and touched the corner of her lip. “You’re beautiful. More beautiful than you usually are. He didn’t even notice that you dressed for him, you fixed your hair for him and put on this for him.” He tapped her cheek with his hand, indicating her makeup.

  He was right. She had done a little extra to meet Preston. And he hadn’t noticed. “Does it matter? Did I know it all along?” Why was she asking Tough anyway? Maybe because he inserted himself into their discussion. Only because she had allowed it. At least the anger that had been strangling her throat had dissipated somewhat.

  “I guess it depends on what you want.” He crossed his arms over his chest and looked over her head.

  She pulled both lips in. “I thought I knew what I wanted. I really did. But I’m not sure anymore.”

  “You deserve all his money and all the things that it can buy. You deserve to be
able to help all the kids you want, to do the good that you need to do. This world needs you. Up until I heard him today, I thought the price was worth it.” He shifted and hung a hand behind his neck. “Now I’m not sure.”

  Her mind snapped into place. “I’ve known for a while what I need to do.” She started to moved toward the door, but Tough placed a light hand on her arm.

  “Are you sure?”

  She looked up, surprised he’d question her. Didn’t he just say that she should dump the jerk? “Yes. I know exactly what I’m doing. My eyes are completely open.”

  Tough’s pressed lips and tense posture said that he wasn’t sure, but he didn’t argue. He opened his mouth as though to say one last thing but ended up closing it and nodding. “You’re sure?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m here if you need me.”

  She nodded then made her way back into the restaurant and to Preston who had finished his gyro.

  “Would you like me to order you dessert?”

  “Is it good?” Preston asked like he hadn’t just told her he had a girlfriend on the side. Like she hadn’t just walked out and had a personal conversation with another man. The tightness gripped her throat again, and she pushed it away.

  “It is. I know exactly what you’ll like.” She ordered the baklava and carried it over to their table, setting it down in front of him.

  She took her seat in front of her untouched meal. “Do you stick with just one girl, or do your girlfriends come and go?” Why couldn’t she let it go? She was breaking up with him. But the questions just kept tumbling out of her mouth, and with each of his innocent answers, she got the confirmation she needed. If she ever doubted this was the right decision, he had confirmed it over and over again. How had they gotten such different ideas of what their relationship was going to look like?

  “I’ve had the same one since we were freshmen in high school.” Another punch in the gut. He’d been with her for over twelve years. The whole time they’d casually, then not so casually, talked about joining forces, making his mother happy. Sure, they weren’t really passionate, but she’d thought she loved him—she’d been focused on saving every child she could, paying her debt to society, really. But she supposed if he’d had casual hookups...but the same girl for twelve years? Why had he even led Kelly on? Got engaged to her?

  She tried not to allow her face to show her shock and pain. “Why don’t you just marry her?”

  He rolled his eyes. “It’s Bonita, Kelly. I can’t marry her.”

  Bonita. The daughter of their long-time housekeeper. As far as Kelly knew, she’d never seen a dad. Bonita.

  “Because she’s Hispanic?” The anger threatened again, and she almost let it loose.

  “No. That’s an asset, really. But...she’s not you. She couldn’t organize a fundraiser, or host a Christmas party for my law practice, or know what to say or do when we’re out together. She doesn’t have your class, your drive, she’s just...”

  “Good in the sack.”

  “Of course.” Preston almost rolled his eyes. Kelly couldn’t believe he couldn’t see the steam coming out of her ears. For Bonita and for herself. That he would casually dismiss Bonita, who maybe didn’t go to college but had a respectable job as manager of the convenience store about a mile from Preston’s mansion. And who was more than capable of doing what Kelly did if Preston would take the time to teach her.

  “What does she think of us?”

  “She hates it.” He shrugged. “But it’s not like you and I—” He waved a hand in the air.

  Yeah. They weren’t physical. And now she knew why.

  Sure, their relationship had never had passion. She had been content with a platonic friendship, thinking that when they got married... Or that... The steam went right out of her sails. She hadn’t even thought about how Preston felt about it. She’d been as focused on her career and as satisfied as him with the status of their relationship. It wasn’t until Tough came into her life that she even considered that she might be missing something. Still, she hadn’t gotten past the hurdle of love lasting. If that’s even what she felt.

  She brought a cleansing breath into her lungs and blew it out.

  She opened her mouth and spit it out. “I think we ought to reconsider our engagement.”

  Preston didn’t even look up. “I told you that’s fine. You want more? What can I do for you?”

  “No. I want out.”

  He finally put his fork down and stared at her. “Seriously?”

  “Yes.”

  His jaw tightened. “What about Mom?”

  “I think your mom will want us to be happy. I can’t imagine she would want me to feel like I’m making a huge mistake. I know she wouldn’t want you married to me but in love—” She cringed inside over the words. Was it real? “—in love with Bonita.”

  He put a hand up, and his face relaxed, though he still didn’t look happy. And rightfully so. “You’re right. The nondisclosure still holds, but...are you sure? This is really going to throw a wrench into my plans.”

  She fiddled with the edge of the tablecloth. “I think it’s best to do it now. I did not move forward on the wedding, so no one will know it’s called off.”

  Preston got a thoughtful look on his face. “Do you know of anyone else who could take your place?”

  She blew out. “Honestly, Preston, I’ve been wondering for a while if there was more to our relationship, but the girlfriend thing... I think you should marry Bonita. You must love her if you’ve spent the last twelve years with her. She must love you, for that matter.”

  “I’ve been completely faithful to her. What’s not to love?” His face lost its tightness, and his eyes seemed to glow as he talked about her.

  “Marry her, for goodness’ sake.”

  “What will everyone say? Holy smokes. What will everyone think?”

  “If you love her, it shouldn’t matter.” Kelly found that she might actually believe those words as they came out.

  Preston twiddled his fork. “The reality is she doesn’t have the confidence to do what you do. I had to have someone who could do all the stuff that she didn’t want to do.”

  That burned. Kelly tried not to take it personally. After all, she had been spending the last few weeks running around with Tough, having thoughts that an engaged woman had no business having. She’d never been tempted before, and she suspected she’d never be tempted again, but...

  “This whole conversation is kind of a shock to me.”

  He steepled his fingers. “I see.” Tapping the tips of his fingers together, he studied her. “So, would you consider...”

  “No. You and Bonita will just have to work that out. Hire someone to be me if you need to.”

  He sighed deeply, studying his hands. “Photo ops, plane rides, overseas trips, hosting parties, meet and greet, she doesn’t want to do any of it.”

  Kelly kicked her wounded pride to the curb. None of this should be such a surprise. She pulled on her game face. “Do you want me to talk to her? I’d be more than happy to help her out. You know, now that I think about it...Bonita... Your mom would be happy to hear this too.”

  He grimaced. “I was a little concerned about that. Do you think so?”

  Kelly’s natural optimism bubbled to the surface. “I’m sure of it. Rather than us getting married, she’ll have Bonita be part of the family. I know she’ll love that.”

  “She’ll still love you. She’ll always love you.”

  A little sadness pierced her heart as the life she thought she was going to have slipped away forever. “I know.”

  “Well...” He stood. “I guess this is goodbye for now.”

  She stood with him, gathering up her uneaten food. Her equilibrium had returned, but her world did not look the same now as it had when she walked in. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do about it. First thing...man, she didn’t even know what the first thing was.

  “Hey, Kelly?”

  “Yeah?” />
  “I’m not going to just drop your charities.” Preston gave her a hesitant smile.

  “I know. I didn’t think you would.” She pulled the ring out of her purse. The widening of his eyes and his dropped jaw said that he hadn’t even noticed she wasn’t wearing it. “I suppose I should give you this back.”

  He waved a hand. “Nah. Keep it. Bonita won’t want it anyway. Too big and pretentious.”

  Kelly pressed her lips together. What had made him think she wanted a big, pretentious ring? She needed to calm down.

  With her mind jumbled and fear peeking its dark head over her shoulder, she moved to lead Preston out of the restaurant. “Do you want me to just drop you off at Bonita’s house?”

  He looked a little sheepish. “She’ll be waiting in my room at my house.”

  Kelly had never been in his room. She’d never wanted to be in his room. Maybe he knew her better than she thought. With a shake of her head and a small eye roll at her own stupidity, she walked out.

  Chapter 18

  Kelly lifted Nessa, who had gotten tired of listening to Harris read a story to the other children at the activity center, and set her onto her hip. “We should have kept the kids so you and Torque could go on a real honeymoon.”

  Cassidy shrugged, picking up a stray ball that had rolled over to the small kitchenette from the basketball court. “It’s kind of crazy, but we do have a nanny to help part-time. I pay her for full-time so we can escape in the evening after the kids are in bed.” She blushed. “It’s been nice.”

  Happiness for her friend filled Kelly’s chest with warmth. “I’m so glad things worked out for Torque and you.”

  “I never, not in a million years, thought they would.” Cassidy leaned down and picked up Nissa who was pulling on her skirt. “But sometimes life gives you blessings you don’t deserve.”

  “True.” And sometimes it gave you exactly what you deserved. Kelly tried not to fall into negative thinking. Her activity center was almost ready to go. The gym floor wouldn’t be put down since it was a specialized thing that even Tough didn’t want to try to attempt. It was going to be expensive, but at least everything else was almost done.