The Adventurer's Guide to Treasure (and How to Steal It)

by Wade Albert White

  They plummeted toward the BGFM at a terrifying speed, and the vast ocean of magick seemed to rise to meet them. First one pirate struck the surface, then another and another, like raindrops on a lake. Anne watched in horror as the BGFM swallowed them up one by one.

  Finally, Anne herself hit the barrier. Jagged lines of energy arced over her body, as though she had been struck by lightning, and then the whole world turned white.

  Interlude

  In a blatant attempt to artificially heighten the dramatic tension, this brief interlude has been inserted to give the reader time to imagine what horrible fate has befallen our heroes. In that spirit, please enjoy these two selections of truly terrible pirate poetry.

  ODE TO A MISSING SHOE

  Sunlight is yellow,

  Wow, do my feet smell-o,

  Other things are also yellow (except for non-yellow things),

  Hey, look, an ant!

  SWORDS AND FLOWERS

  Swords are like flowers,

  Except when they stab you,

  And then you realize

  They aren’t really like flowers at all.

  THE BEGINNING OF THE WORLD

  Once upon a time the world did not exist, and since the world not existing also included there not being any chocolate to eat, everyone agreed that the situation was completely unacceptable (except for the few cranky people who thought existence in general was overrated and made it a point to never get along with anyone). So a young wizard decided to create the world using magick. The wizard cast a powerful spell, and the world came into being (much to the annoyance of the cranky people, which is fine because they were going to be annoyed no matter what happened).

  Another wizard, however, tried to steal this magick to create a different world.

  This turned out to be a bad idea.

  A very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very bad idea indeed.

  The Other Side

  It took a moment for Anne to get her bearings. At least she was no longer falling, which was a good thing. She recalled entering the BGFM, but her memory became a bit fuzzy at that point. It felt as though she had passed directly through the magickal barrier into currents of pure energy. And then suddenly she was here—wherever here was.

  She looked around.

  A long gray corridor stretched out before her. There was a single door at the far end bearing the image of a black dragon. A plaque on the wall beside the door read: DR. ZARALA COLE. She’d already been here earlier that day.

  Anne was back in the dream.

  As before, Anne found herself hovering several inches off the floor. She floated down the hallway toward the door, and as soon as she touched the doorknob a deep metallic voice spoke from nowhere in particular.

  “This is your second scheduled dream sequence, as per Item 779 of your official quest itinerary,” said the voice. “Please be advised that any personal information you divulge could be used in embarrassing ways as part of our advertising campaign.”

  “This place again?” said a voice beside her.

  Anne jumped (as much as one can jump while floating several inches above the floor).

  Captain Copperhelm appeared next to her.

  “Don’t you dream of anything besides long boring corridors?” he asked.

  “Don’t mind him,” said a voice from her other side, startling her again.

  Jocelyn had appeared as well, along with Rokk, Sassafras, and Princess Whiskers.

  “He’s just grumpy that our status as dream guides doesn’t grant him the power to command an army of the undead,” said Jocelyn.

  Copperhelm harrumphed. “One little skirmish. That’s all I’m asking.”

  He produced a small card that read:

  Jocelyn placed a semitransparent arm around Anne’s shoulders. “How are you faring, my dear? We watched that nasty business with Octo-Horse Pirate from the netherworld. I couldn’t believe it when he stole your medallion. You have our deepest sympathies.”

  “Deep enough that you’re not going to mark me down for it?” Anne asked hopefully.

  Jocelyn patted her shoulder. “I’m afraid not. But at least we can help you with your second dream.”

  “Wonderful,” said Anne, feeling anything but.

  Anne knew she should be elated, especially with the arrival of her mentors, but all she felt was a knot of anger burning deep within. Strangely, this particular knot didn’t seem directed at Marri or her father or anything else that had happened that day. Anne was angry at Marri for dragging her into all this, no question, but she was also sympathetic. It was obvious Marri had a lot to deal with. And although Anne was definitely furious with Octo-Horse Pirate and vowed to make him pay for every bit of harm he’d caused, right now he wasn’t her primary concern. No, the anger she felt was about something else entirely. In truth, it had been growing for a while, even before this quest had started, and she decided it was finally time to deal with it.

  Anne yanked open the door to the lab and marched inside. As before, the room was filled with several long counters, and the young man in the white coat and brown loafers was standing at the far counter.

  “Good morning, Dr. Cole,” he said.

  Anne stared at him but said nothing.

  “Aren’t you going to respond?” asked Jocelyn, following her into the room. “This might be your chance to finally get some answers.”

  “What’s the point?” said Anne. “He thinks I’m Zarala Cole, and for all I know, maybe I am. The computer at the High Castle certainly seemed to think so. But it also thinks Octo-Horse Pirate is Oswald, so maybe it’s just gone bonkers.” She rounded on Jocelyn. “But you’re right, this might just be my chance to get some answers. Finally. From you.”

  Jocelyn looked taken aback. “I beg your pardon?”

  “Why did you give me the gauntlet?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Back when Saint Lupin’s was still an orphanage and your sister was running it. You arrived one morning and handed the gauntlet to me. Why?”

  Jocelyn frowned. “I told you already: Our family was entrusted with the gauntlet as well as the silver medallion from your first quest. My mother had instructed me to return to Saint Lupin’s on a specific day and give the gauntlet to you. Activating the medallion was an unfortunate accident, and if I could go back and prevent—”

  “Your mother mentioned me by name?” asked Anne, perplexed.

  “No, she gave me your orphan identification number. 6-5-5-3-5.”

  Anne felt her frustration growing. “But why? Why that number, and why on that specific day?”

  “I honestly don’t know. But really, Anne, how is any of this relevant? As your dream guide, I really do feel you should be focusing your attention on your current quest. Why, just have a look here.” She pointed to a book on the counter—a thin book with a familiar red cover. The title read The Adventurer’s Guide to Crystal Formations and Quantum Computing. “It’s your guidebook. Perhaps it has some pertinent information.”

  Anne ignored the book. “I don’t want the guide. I want answers to my questions. What exactly does your family know about me? Why did Hiro’s great-great-whatever-grandfather have another one of Zarala’s medallions? Who is the Lady of Glass? And what was the Battle of the Great Rift?”

  “The Battle of the Great Rift? Oh, well, that is actually quite an interesting tale. You see—”

  The metallic voice from nowhere interrupted. “We’re sorry, but we have determined that your current line of questioning has an eighty-three percent chance of revealing information that is above your current security level. This dream will therefore be terminated.”

  Anne waved her arms at the ceiling. “No, wait! She was just about to—”

  But it was
too late.

  Jocelyn and the others disappeared in a puff of smoke.

  And somewhere a crow cawed once again.

  At first it simply seemed to Anne as though all the lights had gone out. But then something blue pulsed nearby, and she realized she was no longer in the dream—or at least she was no longer in the laboratory. She was lying in a clearing in the middle of a forest. The ground felt rough beneath her and was littered with branches, dried leaves, and long twisted vines. The air was cool but stale. There were no sounds of tiny animals scurrying about in the night, or any sounds at all, for that matter. It resembled a dead tier, although it was difficult to tell in the dark.

  “Activate GPS,” she whispered.

  Jeffery didn’t appear.

  She lifted her gauntlet-hand, and only then realized that the blue light was coming from her. Every second or so her gauntlet emitted a pulse. It gave the impression that the vines on the ground were moving—until one brushed against her leg and she discovered they really were moving. She jumped to her feet and danced out of the way. Looking closely, she clearly saw several of the vines writhing on the ground. They had been inching toward her, but as soon as the light touched them they recoiled as if the light were somehow causing them pain.

  A long crystal pod was lying on the other side of the clearing, near the edge of the trees. The moving vines all seemed to be attached to it, and they slithered beneath it, away from the pulsing blue light, as she approached. From the end of the crystal pod, a single thicker vine stretched into the forest. Not daring to get too close, Anne peered into the pod and was able to make out a dark form at the center. It looked like a person, but with no distinct features.

  A twig snapped to her left, and Anne dropped into a crouch, holding the gauntlet in front of her. Someone stepped from between the trees, an arm raised against the light.

  “Anne?” said Penelope. “Is that you?”

  “Pen!” Anne exclaimed.

  Anne ran over and gave her friend a big hug.

  “Where have you been?” asked Penelope. “I’ve been searching everywhere for you.”

  “I had another dream and only woke up a few minutes ago. How long have you been awake? Who else have you found?”

  “A few of the pirates. They’ve spread out to look for the rest of their crew, but I came looking for you and Hiro.”

  Anne gripped Penelope’s arm. “You don’t know where Hiro is?”

  “Not yet, but I’m sure we’ll find him. I found you, didn’t I?”

  Anne studied their surroundings. “Do you have any idea where this is?”

  Penelope shrugged. “Someplace weird.”

  “That’s an understatement. I think those vines were trying to grab me.” Anne looked around the clearing nervously. “If we fell into the BGFM, and we’re not inside it, then maybe we’re on the other side.”

  “What other side?”

  “Remember? Octo-Horse Pirate said the BGFM was a barrier between the two parts of the world. This might be the other part, the one that contains the corruption.”

  If that was true, it disturbed Anne even more that this place reminded her so much of the dead tiers. Was there some connection? And if there was, who could possibly live in such a place?

  “So what now?” asked Penelope.

  “There’s something very familiar about these pods,” said Anne. “I say we follow that big vine and see where it leads.”

  “Are you sure that’s a good idea? Maybe we should just wait here for the others.”

  Anne arranged several branches on the ground into a big arrow.

  “There,” she said. “Now anyone who passes through here will know which direction we went.”

  “Only if they have a light,” said Penelope.

  Anne headed into the forest, and Penelope followed, albeit somewhat reluctantly. They picked their way carefully through the trees, and Anne kept her gauntlet-hand out, both for light and to keep any stray vines at bay. They passed dozens of other clearings, all with crystal pods and slithering vines.

  Anne shuddered. “Those things give me the creeps.”

  “They’re not so bad,” said Penelope. “They’re just different from what you’re used to.”

  “Different in a kill-me-and-eat-me kind of way, sure.”

  Some of the vines were gathered together in big clumps, as though they had caught something. Like the crystal in the first clearing, each pod had a single thicker vine that extended into the forest.

  “Those thicker vines are all going in the same direction,” said Anne.

  “Is that supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing?” asked Penelope.

  They continued onward. Eventually the forest gave way to a much larger clearing. The vines led to a giant crystal at the far side. Dozens of pods were here, all attached to the weave of vines.

  The giant crystal looked all too familiar.

  It very much resembled a Heartstone.

  During their previous quest, Anne, Penelope, and Hiro had been summoned to appear before the queen of dragons in her throne room. The throne itself was actually a giant crystal known as a Heartstone. When dragons from the royal family were placed on the Heartstone as infants, it created a small stone inside them called a dragon stone. This granted them the ability to access the Old World archway network. Later, the Heartstone had been used to power a giant metal dragon, and a second Heartstone had powered a giant metal knight that Anne herself had operated.

  But if this truly was a Heartstone, something was wrong with it. It was dark and cloudy and seemed to suck all the heat from the clearing.

  “Are you sure we should be here?” asked Penelope, shivering.

  “You’re starting to sound like Hiro,” said Anne, and she wondered at her usually fearless friend’s sudden trepidation.

  Anne approached the Heartstone cautiously. She walked around it, studying it from every angle but being careful not to get too near. Only a few yards beyond the stone was the edge of a deep black chasm. Anne shuddered as she peered down, trying not to imagine what it would be like to fall endlessly in the dark.

  She turned her attention back to the Heartstone. It was definitely different from the others she had seen. In addition to its murky appearance, there appeared to be something inside. Not a person, but a shorter cylindrical object that very much resembled the computer terminal at the High Castle. It was almost as though the Heartstone had grown around the terminal.

  A voice shouted from somewhere nearby.

  “Quick,” said Anne. “Over here.”

  They ducked behind a pod near the edge of the clearing, and Anne removed her cloak and wrapped it around her gauntlet-hand to hide the glow.

  From the trees emerged two figures carrying a third who appeared to be unconscious. It was difficult to be certain, but Anne thought she recognized the one being carried as a pirate from Marri’s crew.

  “Do you see an empty one?” asked the first carrier.

  “Over there,” said the second.

  They put the pirate down beside a pod. Anne watched in horror as the vines slowly wrapped themselves around him. When the vines stopped moving, the crystal pod emitted a single green pulse. The green light traveled along the vine all the way to the Heartstone. In reply, the Heartstone emitted a steady red pulse that ran back along the vine. As soon as it reached the crystal, the dark form inside it began to writhe. The vine became transparent, and a thin line of black liquid flowed through it, all the way from the terminal inside the Heartstone into the pod. It looked just like the black liquid Marri had used to modify the gauntlet.

  Anne placed her hands over her mouth to suppress the urge to cry out. The body inside the crystal pod thrashed back and forth, changing from a featureless blank into the form of an actual person. Finally, the black liquid stopped, and the body became still once again.

  A seam appeared around the top of the pod, creating a lid. The two carriers pushed this off.

  “Arise, brother,” said the first carrier, a
nd he helped the person inside climb out. The blank body had completely transformed itself and now looked identical to the pirate wrapped in the vines. Around this new pirate’s neck was a gold chain with a small crystal hanging from it.

  The second carrier pointed to the tangle of vines. “What about this one?”

  “Leave him,” said the first. “We’ll deal with the body later, once the vines are done with him.”

  The two carriers escorted the newly created double out of the clearing. As soon as they were gone, Anne leapt from her hiding place and ran over to the pirate. She pulled at the vines with her right hand, but they were too strong. Then she unwrapped her gauntlet-hand. As soon as the light hit the vines, they withdrew.

  Anne placed her ear on his chest.

  “He’s still breathing,” she said, greatly relieved.

  She looked at the other pods in the clearing. Most seemed to have someone wrapped up in their vines. Anne hurried to the next clump.

  “Anne, wait,” said Penelope.

  But Anne kept at it. Who knew how much time they had? She pressed her gauntlet-hand into the mass of vines, and the vines wiggled away. It was another of Marri’s crew. Once the vines were completely gone, she moved to a third body and did the same. And then a fourth. In a matter of minutes, she managed to uncover all the bodies in the clearing, which amounted to nearly half the pirates. When Anne reached the final body, however, she recoiled in horror.

  The face staring back at her was none other than Penelope.

  “Pen?!” she cried.

  Anne knelt down and shook her friend’s shoulders.

  This Penelope opened her eyes and screamed. “Anne, behind you!”

  A pair of rough hands grabbed Anne by the shoulders and pulled her up. It was the first carrier. He had returned. She struggled to get away, but his grip was too strong. Someone else tried to grab her gauntlet-hand. Anne swung it and was rewarded with a satisfying thud accompanied by a cry of pain. Her would-be captors didn’t give up, though, and grabbed for the gauntlet again, this time managing to wrap something around it. Finally she got a look at her other assailant.