In Between the Earth and Sky

by Heidi Hutchinson

  “Well, they’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks and it seems to be going very well. Maybe he’s different now.”

  “Right,” Brenda said. “He’s a totally different person ever since…” she squinted upward as she put a finger on her chin like she was thinking. “When was that? Oh yeah,” she looked back to Lydia. “Ever since you.”

  Lydia rolled her eyes and picked up her gear, heading for the locker rooms. “Stop it. What’s so wrong with people changing?” She set her stuff down on the bench and opened her locker. “You’re a scientist. You study change for a living.”

  Brenda grabbed her things and backed towards the showers. “He’s not the only one changing.”

  Lydia stared after her for a second. She wasn’t wrong.

  Life with Remington in it was different.

  More complicated than before. But also, more freeing. They goofed around and got along and being around him made her feel… brave.

  Especially seeing him with Cherie. They were great and he seemed genuinely happy.

  And if he could take that risk, and find that peace, maybe she’d find it too someday.

  She broke out of her daze and stripped out of her sweaty clothes. Her fingers brushed the puckered scar on her abdomen.

  Brenda wasn’t wrong.

  Things had changed since that day.

  Forever.

  ***

  Remington

  Cherie burrowed deeper against Remington. One arm thrown over his stomach, one long leg tangled with one of his. Her sleep deep, as it should be since they’d just spent hours playing.

  He ran his hand up her spine, between her shoulder blades, and back down again. Her soft skin called to him. Even though he’d just had her. But he also loved the heat of her body resting next to him. So, he didn’t disturb her rest. He simply traced the line of her back slowly with his fingers. Sometimes touching the soft ends of her hair, breathing in her scent.

  The sky outside his window was too murky to see the stars.

  But if he could have, he would have wished on one.

  Wished for more time, more clarity, and more peace.

  The twist in his stomach threatened to disrupt his good mood and he pushed it back down.

  Not yet.

  Not with this girl.

  She was too good for him to feel any kind of discontent.

  Cherie stirred again and his heartrate quickened with unexpected desperation.

  Not yet.

  He shifted her to her back and pulled the sheet down. Placing slow, wet kisses along her collarbone, he ran his hands down her sides, waking her slowly.

  “Remington?” she murmured in the dark.

  “Please kiss me,” he whispered against her lips.

  She did.

  And he hoped it was enough to quell the restlessness secretly gathering in his blood.

  But it wasn’t.

  It never was.

  Chapter 11

  Liability

  Lydia

  “How about this one?”

  Lydia glanced up from the shoes she was trying on to see her mom, Melody holding up a dusty pink blazer with rhinestones lining the collar.

  “That’s a little flashy for the office,” she replied with a small laugh. She could imagine Merrick walking in on that one day and having a heart attack.

  Her mom returned it to the clothes rack she’d been perusing.

  Lydia checked the time on her phone. They still had a couple of hours before she’d need to get to the airport.

  “Oh, I like those,” her mom said.

  Lydia stood up and rotated her ankle so her mom could see the pearl beading along the t-strap of the shoes.

  “Yeah, but I don’t have anywhere to wear them,” she said.

  “You could ask Merrick to take you to one of those fancy restaurants down there,” Melody suggested.

  “Hm,” Lydia replied noncommittedly. No matter how many times she’d told her mom that they weren’t together, the woman never stopped trying to imply that they were. And maybe she could wear them out to dinner with Merrick and Rem and Cherie. That might be an actual possibility.

  “I’ll get them for you,” Melody suggested in a hushed whisper. “I know money is tight for you. I’d love to get you something nice.”

  Lydia swallowed the argument in her throat. No, money wasn’t tight. Her mom knew that. But that wasn’t the reason for buying her gifts. It was so she’d have more things.

  Like tiny bedazzled anchors, preventing her from picking up and moving in the middle of the night.

  It didn’t matter how many times Lydia promised she’d never do that again. Or how many years it had been since she’d done anything close to that.

  It was like her mom lived in a time bubble memory. Where everything was recent, and everything was fresh, and time hadn’t been able to touch it enough for her to start moving on.

  “I wish you could stay for a few days,” her mom said, touching Lydia’s arm with shaky fingers. Lydia placed her hand on top of her mom’s and looked into her red eyes.

  “How have you been sleeping, mom?” she asked, mindful of the tone and volume of her voice.

  Melody yanked her hand away. She rubbed her hands together and a false smile flitted on her lips as she looked around the store. “Oh, I’m sleeping fine.” She cleared her throat, uncomfortable with Lydia’s direct questions. “What time is your flight?”

  She wanted Lydia close, but only if Lydia would pretend everything was okay.

  It was heartbreaking.

  Lydia sat down and began unstrapping the shoes. Her mom took the chair beside her.

  “Do we have time to get cappuccinos and split one of those enormous cinnamon rolls?”

  Lydia smiled at her mom, wishing she knew what to do, how to help. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as she feared. Maybe her mom’s family had it under control.

  Since none of them wanted anything to do with her unless it was to belittle her life and choices, it wasn’t as if she could just call any of them and ask.

  She could only hope.

  “Yeah.” She looped an arm through her mom’s. “Let’s get a cinnamon roll.”

  ***

  “New pants. I like the look. Very professional.”

  Lydia smirked at Brenda before glancing down at her new outfit. Black slacks and matching blazer with a gray button up underneath. It wasn’t as drab as it sounded. She managed to rock it up with studs lining the back of her black high heels.

  Yes, while she’d been shopping with her mom, she’d purchased a few more outfits for the office. It gave her more options in her closet and it had been fun having her mom there to fuss over her.

  No matter how weird things had become, she loved her mom. And missed being as close as they once were.

  “Any particular reason you’ve decided to end your one woman crusade to give Merrick an aneurism before he turns 40?”

  Lydia shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly as she circled around her desk. She pulled the chair out but didn’t sit in it, opting to stand.

  “I guess I decided to take the job seriously. Seeing as I’m going to be here a while.”

  Lydia’s stomach pitched as she said the words. She hadn’t yet vocalized her thoughts, but there they were. Brenda lifted her eyebrows in response.

  “You’ve never said that before,” Brenda said coming to stand directly in front of her, the desk separating them.

  Lydia took a shaky breath and let it out slowly. “I’m almost thirty, B. Maybe it’s time for a grownup job. I said maybe.”

  Brenda’s eye brows dipped severely. “Is this that pretty boy model filling your head with ideas?”

  Lydia cracked a smile and shook her head. “No, he hasn’t said anything.”

  “Because that doesn’t sound like my best friend,” Brenda continued sternly. “My best friend is the chick who dropped out of Stanford while she was on the Dean’s list because she refused to be put in a box. Stanford.”

  Lydia
pursed her lips.

  “The best friend I know never signs an apartment lease longer than a year because she has no idea where she’s going to be next. She’s lived in multiple countries and been on countless expeditions. And she’s always been someone I admired.” Brenda’s voice lost some of its strength at the end as she divided her effort into keeping her eyes from welling over. “Because she has always lived her truth without regret or apology.”

  “I can still do all those things,” Lydia countered, her voice soft and comforting. “And, this way, I’ll be able to be near you more often.”

  Brenda blinked, swallowing several times as she fought to regain her composure.

  “Dr. Ellis.”

  Both women turned their heads to find Merrick standing in the doorway of his office, his hands in his pockets, stern contemplation on his brow.

  “Did you know—?”

  Merrick cut off Brenda’s question with a carefully arched eyebrow. He let the silence hang in the air—letting it remind all of them of the agreements they’d made and the protocol Brenda was breaking.

  It wasn’t the first time Lydia had to consider if what she was doing was fair to those she cared about. Asking them to essentially lie to their colleagues in order to avoid professional scandal.

  The answer to her unasked question was always the same: no. It wasn’t fair.

  Which was why a solution needed to be possible. Lydia had been able to come up with two.

  One, she could leave again. Finding employ somewhere else hadn’t ever proved difficult. She could break her lease, sell her car, and start again. She’d been in contact with a researcher in Sydney for a couple of months. She’d probably start there.

  Two, she could decide to stay. Invest in the building of this place with more than she’d already given. Finally allow roots to take hold and decide to grow here where the people she trusted the most lived.

  Remington didn’t factor into her decisions.

  Lydia hadn’t even spoken to him in more than a week. He was busy with his life and his romance and she… Well, she didn’t have to have it explained to her where she stood with him. She was a novelty.

  And it had worn off.

  Maybe Remington had influenced her to stay. Not in the way Brenda had inferred. But as a reminder to not take those closest to you for granted.

  Most people had gobs of friends they could call and count on.

  Lydia didn’t.

  She had exactly two.

  It would be incredibly foolish to leave when they were on the brink of all their dreams coming true.

  She should be here for that.

  “I need to go over today’s schedule with Ms. Larkin.” Merrick lifted his chin, silently and gently dismissing Brenda.

  Lydia gathered her notebook from the drawer and pen out of the cup on her desk. She flashed a reassuring smile at her friend. “We have class tonight. We can talk more then.”

  Brenda nodded but didn’t look any happier.

  Lydia strode into Merrick’s office and took her customary seat as he closed the door behind them.

  Merrick didn’t sit in the big chair behind his desk. Instead, he stood in front of the windows facing the ridge, his hands clasped behind his back.

  “Are you familiar with the metaphysical poet and cleric John Donne, Lydia?”

  “Uhh,” she blinked, struggling to access the proper memory. “Yes. I think. The ‘no man is an island’ guy, right?”

  “Yes.

  No man is an island entire of itself; every man

  is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;

  if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe

  is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as

  well as any manner of thy friends or of thine

  own were; any man's death diminishes me,

  because I am involved in mankind.

  And therefore never send to know for whom

  the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

  I always think of you when I think of those lines.”

  “Me?” Lydia asked, trying to predict Merrick’s intentions with the conversation. “Because I like to do things on my own?”

  He turned around and went to his desk where he finally sat down. “Yes and no. You’ve always been an outlier. It’s your nature. But try not to forget that you’re a piece of the continent. And we see you.”

  Lydia’s gaze drifted to the floor as she thought about his words. Leave it to Merrick to use old English poets to teach her a lesson on humanity and relationships.

  “So what are you saying, Mer?” she asked quietly. “What do you think I should do?”

  His lips twitched with the beginnings of his sad smile. The one she discovered all on her own when all they had fizzled to nothing.

  “I think… there’s a way for you to be you. And to be brilliant at it.”

  The back of her eyes began to burn and she forced a tight smile.

  “I’m a liability.”

  “No,” Merrick disagreed.

  “I am, Mer,” she said solidly. “You think I don’t know the risks you’ve taken to have me here? To make me a part of your big plan? And for what?”

  He shook his head even though they both knew she was right. “It’s your plan, too. It always has been.”

  “Look, it’s all been redeemed. I don’t hold that stuff against you anymore.”

  His eyes widened at her words and he fell silent. One hand came up to cover his mouth as his chest rose with a deep breath.

  They didn’t talk about it.

  About the moment that changed everything.

  They talked around it, evaded it, let it be a ghost that hung over them. But they didn’t talk about it.

  Finally Merrick huffed. “You always do this.”

  Lydia felt her mouth grow small. She hated, hated it when he used “always” on her.

  “It’s just like with the damn snapdragons,” he continued.

  “Hey,” she interrupted.

  “Lydia, it’s true.” He frowned severely, like a parent scolding a child. “You always think you need to prove something, prove your worth and cleverness. So people will believe you. But they do. We do. We believe you.”

  Lydia exhaled and rubbed her forehead with the fingertips of one hand. She opened her mouth to say more but the office door swung open behind her.

  Merrick straightened and stood.

  “Remington. Did we have an appointment today?”

  Lydia dug her fingernails into the curve of the seatback as she twisted around to look.

  Remington’s gaze darted from Merrick to Lydia and back again. But it was as if he didn’t see her.

  “We didn’t, but I was in the neighborhood,” Remington answered Merrick.

  Lydia stood then and excused herself. She and Merrick could finish this talk later. She passed Remington in the doorway and gave him a tight smile. He averted his eyes and stepped around her.

  A cold chill swept through Lydia from face to fingers as the dismissal registered in her sternum. She pulled the door closed and started at the click it made behind her.

  Did she expect him to greet her with a hug and a parade?

  No. But neither did she expect to feel invisible.

  Her stomach rolled and she ignored it, sitting at the desk and getting back to work.

  Whatever.

  Remington wanted to be a diva today? Fine.

  It wasn’t like she wasn’t used to it.

  ***

  Remington

  His phone pinged in his pocket for the twenty-fifth time that day and he closed his eyes in frustration.

  “Do you need to take it?” Merrick asked.

  “No,” Remington replied taking the phone out and glancing at the display before clearing it. “It’s just Cherie.” He pressed his lips together briefly and cleared his throat. “She knows I’m busy right now.”

  She knew it, but she didn’t seem to care all that much.

  Merrick chuckled and lo
oked away.

  “What?” Remington asked, already knowing what his friend was thinking. “You have something to add to that?”

  Merrick shook his head and pressed his lips together but the ends still twitched. “None of my business.”

  “Speaking of business,” Remington hastily took hold off the subject change. “I’ve been in contact with a buddy of mine in the Marines. He got out this year and is looking to start a new venture. Specifically, in the energy sector.”

  Merrick’s eyebrows lifted with interest.

  Remington shrugged one shoulder. “He has land, money from a settlement, and serious ambition.”

  “Where?” Merrick sat straight, his shoulder pulled back.

  “Texas.”

  Remington let that information settle between them before moving to take the seat Lydia had vacated a few minutes prior.

  “You know what this means,” Remington prodded. They both knew what this meant.

  For months they had discussed plans of expansion. Merrick had a dream to not only be the leader in private biological space research, but also clean energy production and space travel. But clean energy took capital and investors, not to mention land in Texas. So he, along with Remington signed on as an investor, had been building Jones Botanical Research Institute’s reputation in the science field. With the hopes of adding an Energy extension to the name. It hadn’t been easy.

  “What does your friend think of what we’re doing here?” Merrick asked, doing calculations behind his smooth expression.

  “He’s on board.”

  Merrick inhaled slowly as he leaned back in his chair, thinking. “We’d have to send someone to evaluate the location and… other details.”

  “I’ll do it,” Remington stated, obviously. It was his connection. Who else would go?

  Merrick pursed his lips and Remington got the distinct impression he was about to drop a bomb on him.

  “You, of course. But also Lydia.”

  Remington frowned sharply. “Why? What’s she got to do with this?”

  Merrick turned his gaze downward and cleared his throat. “Lydia is the architect behind this entire idea. This company wouldn’t exist without her.”