by LK Chapman
***
‘Well?’ Gareth said.
‘Well what?’
‘You know what! Are you seeing her again? Natalie?’
Josh took out his phone and checked it for probably the hundredth time that day. ‘I don’t know yet. I texted her this morning, and she hasn’t replied.’
Gareth nodded reassuringly as he joined Josh on the sofa, having finished clearing empty wine glasses from the table. Clearly he’d continued the party at his flat after the reunion had ended. ‘It’s not even been a whole day yet.’ He looked at Josh closely. ‘Don’t get too wound up about it.’
‘It’s a Sunday, though.’
‘She might work on Sundays. If she does events it’s probably not a Monday to Friday job.’
Of course! Josh gave himself a shake. Why hadn’t he thought of that? ‘I think I only slept for a few hours after the reunion last night,’ he said, ‘I should probably–’
‘I just wanted to ask a few more things about the app,’ Gareth said.
‘Okay, fire away,’ Josh said wearily, and he listened to Gareth chattering on about the changes underway for the Hearts dating app, specifically a new add-on to the main service called Hearts Ignite. He answered Gareth’s questions as best he could, though Gareth must have got the message that his head wasn’t in the game, as after a few minutes he said, ‘Let’s leave it there. Maybe you could take a look at it again another day, let me know what you think before it launches?’
Josh was about to reply when his phone vibrated. He looked at it eagerly, but his heart immediately sank.
‘Not her?’
‘Unless she’s a parcel that’s being delivered tomorrow, then no.’
Gareth laughed. ‘That would make it easier.’
‘I don’t know what I’m more nervous about: her replying or her not replying. She was easy enough to talk to last night, but what if I meet her again and I can’t think of anything to say?’
‘Then you accept it’s not meant to be and you move on.’
‘Just like that?’
‘Look, Josh, it’ll be fine. Don’t give yourself such a hard time. You and her found plenty to talk about last night, and when you meet up with her again–’
‘You mean if.’
‘When,’ Gareth insisted, ‘you see her again, you’ll get on really well again. Sure it might be awkward for the first couple of minutes, but that’s to be expected. And who knows, it might not be awkward at all.’
‘She might just never reply.’
‘Give her a bit of time. She might be nervous, like you obviously are. Not everyone can be like me, after all.’
Josh sighed, and shifted on the sofa, his hand brushing against something scratchy stuffed down the side of the cushion. He pulled it out. ‘Oh for God’s sake.’
Gareth laughed and reached across to take the empty condom wrapper from him. ‘Sorry,’ Gareth said, though he was clearly amused as Josh hastily rubbed his fingers on his jeans as if he’d just touched something poisonous.
‘Is there anything in your flat that’s safe to sit on?’ Josh asked. ‘Last time I came here you gave me that vivid account of what happened on one of your kitchen bar stools. And how many dirty weekends have you been on this summer–’
‘Well, I am the face of Hearts,’ Gareth said. ‘I have to act the part. I can’t really be scared of dates.’
‘I’m not scared of going on a date with Natalie–’
Gareth raised an eyebrow, but didn’t argue. ‘Good. Make sure you tell me how it goes. All the details.’
‘No.’
‘Some of the details.’
‘Maybe.’
‘It’ll be fine.’
Josh nodded. Maybe it would be fine. If only Natalie would get back to him and agree to see him again. It might only have been a matter of hours since he messaged her, but each hour felt like a day to him. I have to see her again. I just have to.
6
‘Well, I’m really glad it’s working out for you,’ Gareth said, leaning back in his desk chair as he glanced round at Josh. ‘You deserve to have something good happen to you for once.’
Josh tried to hide the grin that sprang to his face whenever he thought about Natalie and the dates he’d been on with her. He knew Gareth would make some dig if he saw him with such a soppy expression, so he distracted himself by looking through the glass wall that separated Gareth’s office from the open-plan rows of desks beyond. At this time of night the Hearts headquarters were deserted, but Gareth had insisted on meeting here, saying he enjoyed staying after hours sometimes when he could sit at his desk and take in the sight of his ‘Hearts Empire’. In fact, Gareth’s flat was only a couple of streets away – on the edge of this new business park that had sprung up in Wayfield several years ago along with a sprawling housing estate. When they’d been kids this part of Wayfield had been fields and woodland, and he and Gareth had sometimes cycled out here and watched the trains speeding past through the greenery, heading towards London. Something about those trains had felt impossibly exciting back then, to two kids stuck in a suburban backwater like Wayfield. Surely everything was glamorous and thrilling in the city. Surely everybody there had things all figured out.
Apparently that memory had inspired Gareth to set up his Hearts office only a stone’s throw from where they used to hang out. Something about coming full circle – back to the place where they daydreamed about what they’d become one day. Gareth had certainly more than fulfilled his dreams, while Josh had ended up drifting, somewhat unwittingly, back to Wayfield after university. God knows he’d not had much happiness here, but a job had come up, and he had followed. Perhaps it had been inevitable.
Gareth’s words about good things rarely happening to him finally sank in and he became defensive. ‘My life hasn’t been that bad,’ he said. ‘You make it sound like the whole thing has been a car crash.’
His friend raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything, and Josh tried to change the subject. He’d been checking the new Hearts Ignite app for the final time before the launch, and though he suspected Gareth had invited him here as much to grill him about Natalie as to hear his feedback on the app, he thought he’d better deliver his conclusions. ‘Anyway, Hearts Ignite looks great,’ Josh said, ‘and you really don’t need my advice on this stuff any more. It’s not like the early days when Hearts was just you and a laptop. You’ve got a whole team of your own now.’
‘I know. Maybe it’s just nostalgia. Things don’t feel final until you’ve signed off on it.’
Josh laughed. ‘Well, Ignite is good to go. I can’t see any issues with it from a security point of view, and it’s easy to use too.’
Gareth stretched his legs out lazily in front of him. ‘You don’t like the idea of it, though, do you?’
‘I don’t have any opinion about it. I wouldn’t use it myself, but I’ve never used Hearts either. For one thing, I spent so long helping you make that site that I’d feel like I was working.’
Gareth gave a short laugh. ‘Yeah, fair enough. But Hearts will do a lot better now you can find someone for the night as well as the long term. That was a whole load of cash we were just leaving on the table.’
‘I can’t argue with that.’
Gareth gave him a serious look. ‘I don’t know why you never accept anything from me for all the work you’ve done. You know Hearts wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for you.’
‘You know why. Hearts is your baby. You came up with all the ideas, and you went and found the users. There’s no way I could have done that. I don’t want to take any money from you for something I did as a favour. Besides, I enjoyed helping you. I’ve told you before: any money you feel compelled to give me, give it to charity instead.’
‘You might feel differently in a few years. Weddings are expensive, you know. And kids.’
Josh looked round at him, startled.
‘No way,’ Gareth said, sitting up in his chair, ‘you actually are thinking about it already, aren’t you?’
>
‘I don’t know how you know this stuff,’ Josh grumbled. ‘And of course I’m not really thinking about it just yet. Me and Natalie have only met up a couple of times–’
‘But you already know, right?’
‘I don’t know. She might get bored of me.’
With a sigh, Gareth reached down to the bottom drawer of his desk and pulled out a bottle.
‘You keep a bottle of whisky in your desk?’ Josh said.
‘I do,’ Gareth said, clearly pleased with himself. ‘I haven’t actually opened it yet. I just like to pretend I’m one of those cynical old cops you get on TV shows.’
‘You like to pretend you’ve turned into a borderline alcoholic because of all the messed-up stuff you have to deal with every day?’
‘Exactly.’
Gareth opened the bottle and took a swig before passing it to Josh, who shook his head. ‘I’ve got to drive home in a minute.’
‘You always spoil my fun.’
‘You seemed like you had something you were going to say to me?’
‘Yes. Why would you assume she’ll get bored of you?’ Gareth pointed his finger at him mischievously. ‘Do you need me to give you some sex tips? Because I have plenty–’
‘No,’ Josh said quickly. He didn’t add that he and Natalie hadn’t spent the night together yet, though Gareth clearly guessed, because he said, ‘So, she hasn’t even sampled the goods yet and you’re talking about her getting bored?’
‘I didn’t mean I was worried she’d get bored of that specifically. I was worried she’d get bored of me. As a person.’
Gareth screwed up his face. ‘You know what this is about?’
‘Enlighten me.’
‘It’s your fucking family again.’
‘It’s nothing to do with them.’
‘No? When was the last time any of them, aside from your dad, gave a shit about what was going on with you? When did any of them last ask you if you were okay? Or even if you had a nice weekend?’
‘It’s not that easy when half of them live in Australia, and my dad’s out of the country so much on business–’
‘They have the internet in Australia. How hard would it be for them to at least drop you an email from time to time?’
‘I don’t want to get into this. I’m not exactly good at keeping in touch with them either. My family is nothing to do with Natalie.’
‘Just as well, since they all fucked off to the other side of the world right when you could have done with them around. Who picks up the pieces every time you go through a break-up? I do. And why did you have those break-ups? Because they’ve made you feel like you shouldn’t open up or get close to anyone.’
‘Are you done with the psychoanalysis?’ Josh said. ‘And I wouldn’t give up the day job if I was you, Gareth. Things haven’t worked out for me because I was never that invested in anyone before. I’ve never met a woman who makes me feel like Natalie does. And I haven’t had that many break-ups. You’re making it sound worse than it is.’
‘Okay, well, maybe you’re right. But the way your family acts with you isn’t because there’s something wrong with you, it’s because there’s something wrong with them. Natalie likes you. There’s no reason she wouldn’t like you. You just need to believe it. And even if it’s not going to last, at least have some fun for once,’ Gareth added with a glint in his eye. ‘The last time you got any action I’m not sure dating apps even existed.’
7
‘Why do you think we never had anything to do with each other at school?’ Natalie asked him, after they had both managed to get their breath back.
He looked at her face, just inches from his on the pillow. Her green eyes glowed with warmth, her hair tumbling over her bare shoulder into a flame-coloured tangle on the sheets. The attraction that had been building between them had finally reached boiling point when he turned up at her flat for dinner earlier that evening. He’d bought her a bunch of sunflowers after she’d mentioned how much she loved them, and they would clearly fit in with the riot of colour that filled her flat. Not that he’d seen all of it yet, aside from a glimpse of the living room through a doorway; he only had the boldly decorated hall and bedroom to go on. The sunflowers had soon dropped, forgotten, from her hand as she kissed him, and he’d kissed her back deeply, both of them eagerly shedding their clothes. She’d gasped when he brought his lips to her nipples, and then she’d grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hall to her bedroom. His body began to respond to the memory, and he reached across and stroked her cheek. What had she just asked him? ‘I don’t know,’ he said as he finally remembered her question about school. ‘Were we even in any of the same classes?’
‘I think you were always just with Gareth,’ she said. ‘And I guess I was with my group. That’s kind of how it goes at school, isn’t it? Everyone just stays in their little bubbles.’
‘Talking of Gareth,’ Josh said after a pause, ‘he wants us to celebrate the Hearts Ignite launch with him. He’s already having a big party with people from the office, but he wants to do a smaller celebration with us, just dinner somewhere, something low key.’
Natalie propped herself up on her elbow. ‘I’d rather have dinner just with you,’ she said playfully. ‘I want you all to myself.’
‘It’ll only be a couple of hours.’
She smiled and kissed him softly. ‘I’m just messing around. Of course I’ll come and help him celebrate. As long as I get you to myself afterwards.’
‘I think I can probably agree to that,’ he teased her, ‘if I really have to–’
She cut off his words with another kiss, and he put his arms around her and pulled her on top of him. As Natalie lifted her body to sit astride him, his thoughts fell away, and for a while all that replaced them was bliss.
***
‘Okay,’ Natalie said, as she finished off her second glass of champagne and turned to face Gareth. ‘Now, you have to tell me once and for all. Why a dating site? What was it that made you want to do it?’
Gareth shrugged. ‘I made a dating site because I had an idea for a dating site. If I’d had an idea for something else, I would have made that instead.’
She turned to Josh. ‘He’s impossible.’
‘All right,’ Gareth said, holding his hands up, ‘I’ll try to explain, just for you.’
‘How very gracious of you,’ Natalie said with a smile.
‘I just saw a need for it,’ he said. ‘Back when I started, there wasn’t that much out there. I thought I could improve on what was on offer and I did it. I don’t really have a romantic bone in my body, but it was never about that for me. Josh is the one who would say you and him are made for each other. I say, there’s plenty of pairs of people out there who are compatible. I just try to make it easier for them to find each other. There’s no “the one”. There’s just lots of possible ones, and I help put those ones together.’
Josh sat back in his chair, while Natalie leant forward eagerly, keen to debate further.
‘I think you’re right up to a point,’ she said. ‘I think it starts out that there are lots of “ones”. But as a relationship builds, that’s when somebody can stop being just “a one” and become “the one”, don’t you think?’
‘All right,’ Gareth said helplessly, ‘enough of this now! I’m here to celebrate.’ He held up his glass and said, ‘Ignite,’ before draining the rest of its contents. Natalie and Josh followed suit, and under the table she gave his leg a squeeze.
***
‘Can we walk for a bit?’ Natalie asked after they had said goodbye to Gareth. ‘I need a bit of fresh air.’
They made their way down the street towards the river, where they sat on a bench, watching the water flow gently past, spangled with yellow reflections of the street lights.
‘I never thought I’d come back and live in Wayfield again,’ she said. ‘When I was a teenager I thought it was so dull, and I couldn’t wait to leave. But now it’s starting to feel like home.�
�
Josh nodded. Wayfield was certainly nothing special. In fact the river, slipping lazily along to the north of the town centre, was probably the town’s only beauty – even if it was spoilt somewhat by the oppressive seventies office blocks that loomed on the opposite bank.
‘Verity’s Events isn’t in Wayfield, though, is it?’
‘No, it’s in Yetley.’
‘You didn’t fancy living there?’ Josh asked. The little village with its narrow, higgledy-piggledy streets and quirky boutiques would suit Natalie down to the ground.
‘It’s expensive and hard to buy there,’ she said. ‘But it would be lovely. Maybe one day.’
Josh thought of Natalie’s vibrant flat, festooned with houseplants and bright patterns. He’d mentioned when he was there what a happy place it was, and she’d said that you couldn’t help but smile when everything around you was smiling too. He’d liked that phrase.
‘I’m glad Ignite is doing well,’ Natalie said. ‘When did it actually launch?’
‘A few days ago.’
‘So, serious question,’ she said, after a brief pause, ‘I think it might be time for me to let my subscribers know about you. After all, I tell them about everything else. I’m beginning to feel a bit dishonest. Would that be okay, do you think?’
Josh laughed. ‘As long as I don’t ever have to be in any videos.’
‘I think that’s a deal.’
‘How do you do it?’ he asked her. ‘Doesn’t it feel a bit invasive, talking about personal stuff to strangers?’
‘Is it weird to listen to it?’ she said. ‘I bet you’ve watched my channel.’
He nodded. He had watched some of her videos, but then it had started to feel like he was spying on her. And besides, although she talked about her life some of the time, most of it was about fashion and party planning, which didn’t hold a great deal of interest for him. ‘It’s not weird,’ he said. ‘Well, it is a little for me because I know you, but you sound really natural. I can see why people like watching you. I just couldn’t imagine having the confidence to do something like that.’