Best Behavior

by Wendy Francis

  “I’m an enhancer,” Lily says loudly, using her hands. “Kind of like an influencer, but not nearly as important.” Meredith can tell she’s trying to sound humble, but poor Edith has no idea what either an influencer or an enhancer is.

  “What did she say?” Edith leans in front of Cody. “She’s influencing someone in the next election?”

  “No, Mom.” Roger tries to explain. “Lily works in computers. She helps people decide what kinds of products they should buy.” Which, Meredith thinks, is putting it generously.

  Edith breaks off a hunk of crusty bread and slathers it with butter, her enormous diamond ring winking in the candlelight. “Oh,” she says, as if she’s giving this explanation considerable thought. “I’ll never understand computers. Good for you, dear.”

  Roger and Meredith exchange glances. They both know Edith has no idea what Lily does, but that’s okay.

  “But really, I’m curious,” Meredith presses. “What exactly is an enhancer? I mean I have a general idea—you endorse products online, right?—but I always thought that was what an influencer does?”

  “It is.” Lily helps herself to the bread, and Meredith experiences mild surprise that the woman allows herself any carbs at all. She would have expected Lily to consume only fish and water tonight. “I’m more like the backup, the person they call in when a product is languishing. I’m there to remind people that it’s still in style. Kind of like the understudy to the lead in a play.”

  “Mmm. Interesting analogy.” Meredith dribbles olive oil onto her plate and pulls a breadstick through it. “An understudy,” Meredith says. “Kind of like you have to memorize all the lines, know all the material, and hope that you’ll get your big break someday?”

  Lily’s expression dims faintly across the table, as if she senses that she’s been insulted but can’t quite identify how.

  “Sort of, I guess.” Her eyes fix on Roger. “Anyway, it’s a good way to boost my number of followers so that if I ever want to write a book about fashion someday, I’ll already have a built-in audience.”

  “Really?” Meredith senses astonishment blooming on her face. Roger’s little ingenue is considering writing a book? Lily’s implication that becoming an author is as easy as establishing an online fan club irks Meredith further. Maybe it’s because everything seems to come so easily for women like Lily and that these days even beautiful, not-so-smart women can write books that will sell a gazillion copies. Simply because they have a following on Instagram or Twitter. “Sort of like the Kardashians, then?”

  Roger coughs into his napkin. She’s struck a nerve. He knows precisely what Meredith thinks of the Kardashians, ever since she forbade Dawn from watching the show. Not even he can miss the jab that’s been leveled at his newly minted wife. Lily leans back in her seat and eyes Meredith warily.

  “So, anyway,” Roger says in an obvious attempt to change the subject. “How about those frogs today? Weren’t they something?”

  And as easily as that, the conversation turns to leaping frogs, the commencement speech, the heat, any number of topics related to the day. All except one, which is the window of time when no one was certain if Cody would receive his diploma. Meredith takes the opportunity to excuse herself to the ladies’ room, where she locks the door and decides to remove her Spanx that have been cutting off circulation to her entire midsection. She’s about to stuff them into her handbag before reconsidering, and they hit the trash barrel with a satisfying thud.

  Back at the table, their food has arrived, and Joel lifts a glass as Meredith reclaims her seat.

  “To the very brilliant Dawn and Cody,” he proposes. “May you go on to find great success, make lots of money, and share it generously with your parents.” It inspires a few chuckles and Hear, hears around the table. Meredith sips her wine and recites her mantra for the weekend again: I will be the Jacqueline Onassis of graduations. Except Jackie O. would never treat anyone as shabbily as Meredith treated Lily earlier, and for a brief moment she’s ashamed of own bad behavior. She hoists her own glass in the air.

  “To Dawn and Cody. You’ve made us proud, kiddos. We love you—regardless of whether you make lots of money or not! Congratulations.” She winks and clinks glasses with her children and the rest of the table.

  A few moments of silence ensue while everyone digs into their respective meals. Meredith’s shrimp scampi steams before her, reams of homemade spaghetti topped by giant pink shrimp lined up like pretty semicolons. She pops one in her mouth, glances around the table, and is struck by all the generations represented here—grandparents and parents, stepparents and kids. It’s impressive. And Dawn and Cody still have so much to look forward to: that sweet, magical time in their early twenties when they get to crack open the world and discover what matters most to them. Soon enough, they’ll be thinking about marriage, maybe even having their own children.

  And that’s when it hits her: What’s to stop Roger from having another child? With Lily? What if the marriage actually lasts (even though Meredith would be willing to bet against it)? What if Lily gets pregnant? And Dawn and Cody have stepbrothers and stepsisters?

  The whole thought is so unsettling, so unpleasant, that she devours her meal as if she were stress-eating an entire gallon of ice cream on their fluffy sofa back home. With the ping of a glass (Roger’s) her meandering thoughts are interrupted. “Please, keep enjoying your meals,” he says, “but I’d like to make a small announcement while we have everyone’s attention.” Lily’s doting gaze lingers on him as he speaks. Oh, please, thinks Meredith. Spare me the love fest. Maybe the vodka tonics have gone straight to Lily’s head.

  And then, she thinks: Small announcement? Oh, no. He wouldn’t dare!

  Meredith grabs Joel’s hand. Is her ex-husband truly about to announce that he’s expecting a baby on the night of his oldest kids’ college graduation? There’s so much that’s wrong about that, or maybe anachronistic would be a better word, that Meredith finds herself sputtering nonsense.

  “Oh, huh. Really? Right now? You’re going to tell us? I mean, a small announcement?”

  Roger reaches for Lily’s hand, twinning his fingers with hers. “So, Lily and I were hoping to share some news and this seems like the perfect time.

  “Dawn, Cody.” Both of her children’s faces have turned pale. “Lily and I would like to...” He pauses for effect, a move that the man has perfected after so many years in the courtroom. “Invite you on a trip to Bora-Bora with us this summer!”

  The clatter of a fork onto the table startles everyone. Cody’s.

  “What?” Dawn asks wide-eyed, as if her brain is still struggling to process what has been said—and what hasn’t.

  “What?” Meredith repeats.

  “Bora-Bora!” He claps his hands together. “Wouldn’t you kids love to see French Polynesia? It’s supposed to be beautiful. I thought it could be one last hurrah with your old man—and Lily, too—before you head off to your jobs.”

  “Oh, how marvelous!” Edith pats her mouth with her napkin, leaving behind little pockmarks of pink lipstick.

  “I hear Bora-Bora is boring, boring,” says Harry, laughing at his own bad joke. “Just kidding. Sounds terrific!”

  “Well,” Carol says. “Isn’t that a surprise?”

  Joel’s fingers are pressing into Meredith’s thigh, tethering her to reality, to some sense of sanity. Or maybe he’s trying to make sure she doesn’t say something she’ll instantly regret. She swallows, breathes. Okay, so, it’s not what I thought Roger was going to say. But still, does the man not know the meaning of tact? The fact that she’d been so concerned earlier that her gifts might upstage Roger and Lily in any way is comical, and a flash of indignation strikes her. It’s typical Roger, trying to buy his kids’ affection with outrageous gifts. The kids have summer jobs—they can’t just pick up and leave on a whim! Did Roger even consider checking with her first? They�
��ve always granted each other this courtesy in the past, whenever one of them was planning to take the kids out of state. When did that understanding change? Now that Lily is in the picture, all bets are off?

  “And when exactly is this vacation supposed to happen?” Meredith asks icily.

  “Oh, right. The second week in August. We figured that would still give the kids some downtime before they head off to Chicago and North Dakota.”

  “I see.” Meredith drains the rest of her water. “Um, I hate to state the obvious, but the kids have jobs this summer. Back at home. In New Haven.” What goes unspoken is that Roger will be ripping them away from her during their last summer at home, before they head off into the world. This summer is supposed to be her time with them! He’s had them up in Boston for four years.

  “Yeah, I know.” He winks. “But I figured I can pay them for whatever wages they might miss that week.”

  Meredith makes a clucking sound. “That’s hardly the point.”

  “Chill, Mom,” Cody says now. “It’ll be fine. I need to head to school the last week in August, anyway, to get ready for my students.”

  “Yeah, I think it will be fine, too,” Dawn says brightly. “Bora-Bora? Really, Daddy?” She throws her big, saucer eyes his way, clearly delighted.

  “Of course, we won’t take them if you’d rather we didn’t,” Lily interjects, her tone conciliatory. But Lily knows full well that they’ve got Meredith trapped. She signals her best SOS to Joel, who strokes his beard thoughtfully.

  “Well, it does sound like a pretty amazing trip,” he says. “I’m sure we can figure something out, right, honey?” Meredith, rendered mute, nods.

  “I’m so excited!” Dawn, whose sangfroid around Lily appears to have melted instantly at the thought of coconut drinks in a stilted hut above the South Pacific, leaps up and goes over to Roger. “Thank you, Daddy!” Then to Lily. “You, too, Lily. Thanks.”

  “Yeah, thanks,” repeats Cody. “That’s like, out of this world, awesome. I’m stoked. Totally.”

  When the waiter returns for dessert orders, Meredith says, “Um, Roger, can I have a word with you for a minute?”

  “Sure thing.” He pushes back his seat, clearly pleased with the reaction to his surprise, and tosses his napkin onto the table.

  As soon as they step outside, Meredith lays in. “Really? You went ahead and booked this extravagant trip for the kids without even checking with me first? They’re supposed to be with me and Joel for the entire summer.”

  His face scrunches up in confusion. “Oh, no. Did you have plans for that week, too?”

  “No!” She gives him a little shove on the lapel of his blazer. “But that’s not the point.” Roger waits, leans back against the stair rail.

  “Okay. So tell me. What is the point?”

  “The point is that this is the kids’ last summer at home and you’re taking them away from me. You should have asked first. It would have been the polite thing to do.”

  “I apologize.” He holds up a hand. “It didn’t occur to me. I thought everyone would be happy.”

  “They’ll have to get their passports renewed,” Meredith snips. These are the kinds of details that she always handled for the family, things that would never occur to Roger in a million years.

  “Good point. I’ll make sure they’re on it.”

  “Also, I’m not entirely convinced that Cody deserves such a generous gift after what we just endured this afternoon, are you?”

  Roger’s shoulders hunch up around his neck, like a turtle. “That was nothing. The dean was making it into a big deal, but they didn’t have anything on Cody.”

  “Did you pay him off?” Meredith regrets the question instantly, but she needs to know.

  Roger folds his arms across his chest. “Of course not! What kind of a father do you think I am? I’d never do that. Give me some credit, Meredith. I am a good lawyer, however, and once I was able to talk with the dean in private, it became clear that it wasn’t really Cody they were after. It was that other kid, Eddie.”

  This is news to Meredith. “Really? Why?”

  “Apparently, he’s got quite a reputation for himself on campus as a dealer.”

  “For drugs?” Her stomach dips.

  “Yeah, I’m not sure for what exactly, but they were hoping to nail him.”

  “And so, did you ask Cody?”

  “Ask Cody what?”

  “Jesus, Roger! Stop playing me!” She can’t believe how, for someone so smart, her ex-husband can be so incredibly dense sometimes. “Did you ask Cody if there were drugs in that backpack?”

  “No, I did not. The number one rule in criminal law—don’t ask your client a question you think you might not like the answer to.”

  “Oh, that’s great. Really wonderful parenting.” She walks little circles around the small square of bricks that fronts the restaurant. “We’re talking about our son here, not some reprobate you’re representing.”

  “Look, what do you want me to do? Cody’s a smart kid. I don’t think he would have been able to accomplish all that he did at that school if he were high on drugs half the time, do you?”

  She ponders this for a moment and shakes her head. “No, not really. It doesn’t feel like something he’d be into, either. He cares too much about his body, you know, lifting weights, keeping fit for football.”

  “I agree.” Roger reaches out and attempts to grab her hand but lets his arm fall when she takes a step back. “Look, if it’s any comfort, I think our son was scared out of his mind. If something serious was going on, I have to believe he would have told us in private.” He pauses. “Maybe someday we can ask him, but why not tonight try to enjoy the fact that we have two exceptional kids who just graduated from college with honors? How about it?”

  Meredith nods, waiting for the punch line. Is there more to come? But maybe Roger really means it. Maybe she needs to calm down and enjoy this moment as opposed to blowing it up.

  She’s about to agree and take the high road, until she remembers: Bora-Bora. And all her indignation comes charging back. Her kids will be in a tropical paradise with their dad and his gorgeous new wife for a week. Maybe that’s what’s really driving her crazy.

  “You know...” she begins and then hesitates. For a moment, she considers telling him the truth about Lily, that the kids don’t like her and that she’s an embarrassment to the whole family. It’s so tempting. Nearly half his age! Someone needs to tell Roger how inappropriate the marriage is because clearly he can’t see it himself.

  But, for some reason, she says nothing.

  Maybe it’s because Meredith hasn’t had enough wine or maybe it’s the hopeful, expectant look on her ex-husband’s face that makes her tamp down the urge to hurl arrows his way. She marches up the stairs to the sidewalk and glances down the street, with nowhere to go. Random couples stroll along in the fading summer light, and Meredith inhales the air that’s scented with freshly blooming lilacs. Eventually, her racing heart begins to settle. What good would it do to get into all that now? Channel your inner grace, she coaches herself and takes another breath.

  “You’re right,” she says finally, quietly, coming back down the stairs and sensing Roger’s relief. No, she won’t tell him how silly he looks sitting next to a woman half his age, how his life has turned into one monstrous cliché. Not tonight at least. Tonight is about the kids.

  Instead she says, “Let’s go celebrate our wonderful children,” her olive branch waving as they step back into Artu.

  * * *

  Later, after they part ways with the Landaus, Meredith tells the kids, “Joel and I have a little present for you two in the car. Come with us and we’ll drop you back at school?”

  Dawn and Cody exchange brief glances. “Sure.”

  On the walk back to the car, Carol hands each of them an envelope. “A little somethin
g from your nana to help you celebrate.” Inside is a thick stack of green bills.

  “Oh, my goodness,” exclaims Dawn. “Thank you, Nana!”

  “Holy cow, how much is in here?” Cody demands none too delicately.

  “A thousand for you each. Consider it an advance on your future inheritance.”

  “Mom, you shouldn’t have,” scolds Meredith, but they both know nothing she says will change her mother’s mind. Still, she’s alarmed to realize that Carol has been walking around with two thousand dollars in her purse all day. “Don’t you dare lose that, kids.”

  Back at the car, Joel has already opened the trunk and passes two packages to Meredith to present to the twins. “Happy graduation,” she says. “I know it’s not much, but I hope you’ll like it.”

  Dawn rips back the wrapping paper, only to squeal when she sees Dawn Landau’s Greatest Hits, 1999–2020. “A photo book? Oh, Mom, this is amazing.” She starts flipping through the pages in the dim light of the parking lot. “It must have taken you weeks to pull this together.” There are yellowed photos from when Dawn was a baby, on to her toddler shots and first steps, all the way up to her very last cross-country race. Throughout the pages Meredith has interspersed funny sayings from the kids that she has kept in a journal over the years. Her own personal keepsake.

  “Oh, wait. I almost forgot.” She searches in her purse and grabs the photo, sliding it into the last cellophane page. It’s a picture of Dawn, striding across the stage in her cap and gown. Meredith made Joel duck into a CVS to print out a copy on the way to Artu. “There, now it’s complete.”

  Dawn hugs the book to her chest. “I love it. It’s the best present ever.”

  “Yeah, pretty cool.” Cody pages through his own photo album, to which Meredith adds his graduation photo, as well.

  “Wasn’t sure we were going to be able to include this one,” she teases. “Glad we got to in the end.”

  “Ha ha,” he deadpans. “Very funny.”