Low The Last Day of Winter

by Low, Shari

  She ignored the dig, and focused on the first observation. ‘You’re not too old for me to ground you, madam,’ she quipped to her daughter, before grabbing Val’s hand and whispering out of the side of her mouth. ‘They still don’t know about Caro. Don’t say a word.’

  Just at that, the lift doors opened and out came Cammy in the suit that Josie had helped him pick out for the wedding. He was so handsome, it almost broke her heart. The suit was a deep navy, with a white shirt and an emerald green tie, picked to fit with the Christmas theme of the wedding and to match the shade of the bridesmaid’s dresses. His hair was in its usual style, swept back from his face, falling to the nape of his neck. Only the most observant would realise that his five o’clock shadow and the frown lines between his eyes suggested that all was not well with the groom.

  While beaming welcoming, ‘nothing wrong here’ smiles to the rest of the congregated guests, she made her way over to him, then waylaid him into a corner. ‘I’m glad you haven’t told them,’ she hissed.

  ‘I couldn’t,’ he blurted helplessly. ‘I didn’t know what to say. You’re right about telling them when we get there. You know, after a couple of drinks. If I tell them now, half of them will bail out and go to bed and Caro’s Aunt Pearl will have me pinned against a wall demanding answers. And then I’ll have to repeat the bad news to everyone who’s going straight to the reception. It’ll be even more of a nightmare than this already is.’

  ‘You impress the crap out of me sometimes, Cammy Jones. I mean, not too often. But every now and then.’ Teasing him was her very own way of expressing her love for him and they both knew it.

  ‘That’s good because, erm, I need a favour. If I freeze when I’m telling everyone it’s off, will you help me out?’

  Her love for him swelled as she could see how exhausted and stressed he was.

  ‘Of course I will, my darlin’. How are you holding up? Have you heard from her?’

  He looked crestfallen. ‘Not since she was here. Have you? Did you find her?’

  Josie shook her head. ‘No. I’m sorry, Cammy. I wish I could tell you different. But she was definitely at the Kibble Palace after she left here, so at least we know that she’s okay.’

  ‘I keep telling myself that’s all that matters. I don’t know how this happened though. And I don’t know what to think, Josie. I love her, but…’

  ‘Don’t be giving me any “buts” right now, love. Let’s just get through tonight and we’ll see how everything pans out tomorrow. Tonight, whatever you need Val and me to do, just say. Preferably to Val, because I’m way too old and knackered for all this drama.’ It was said in jest, in an attempt to make him smile, but there was a whole load of truth in there. ‘I swear you’re going to owe me an internal organ after this night.’ A thought came to her and she couldn’t resist adding, ‘Preferably a lung.’

  ‘It’s yours,’ Cammy replied, not realising there was any significance in the joke. His grateful expression melted her heart and she leaned over and hugged him.

  ‘I’m sorry this is happening to you, son, I really am. You don’t deserve it. You’re one of the good ones.’

  He paused. ‘Josie, you’re scaring the crap out of me. You haven’t been this nice to me since I got booted in the bollocks by a shoplifter trying to steal three pairs of Armani boxers in 2008.’

  ‘Aye, well don’t get used to it. Your next display of affection is scheduled for 2029. Once every ten years should keep you humble.’ In her mind, she used her steel toe-capped, leather stilettoes to kick away the thought that she wouldn’t be around then.

  It was his turn to hug her now. ‘Thanks Josie. And if I forget to tell you later when I’m drunk and weeping into my beer, I love you.’

  She was quite unprepared for the massive boulder that lodged in her throat at that exact moment. Or for the realisation that it was just as well she was not longer for this world because she was getting sentimental in her old age.

  ‘Yeah, well, you’re still my third favourite man,’ she said. It was an old private joke that she repeated to him often – telling him that Michael was top of her list because she’d given birth to him. And Pierce Brosnan was next, because she wanted to have sex with him before she… It was tough to finish that line now. Before she died. Well, she was going to have to get a move on with that one. ‘Right, come on then. Let’s get everyone over there. At least none of the booze and food will go to waste. We’ll tell them after the hors d’oeuvres. Let everyone enjoy them first because they cost a bloody fortune.’

  Josie shot a psychic message to Val, Jen and Chrissie, all of whom she could see were mingling and making small talk with the others. Act normal, it said. We’re not rocking the boat yet.

  Val nodded, instinctively understanding her best friend’s telepathy.

  Thankfully, the rain had stopped, allowing them all to cross the road and get to the venue dry in just a couple of minutes. Inside, there were a handful of other guests, including – oh, what a sight for sore fecking eyes – Senga and the rest of the Manky Scrubbers, the merry band of cleaners who’d been her friends for decades.

  ‘Senga, ma love!’ Josie roared. ‘You’re the very best thing I’ve seen in ages. Or at least since I gave up porn.’

  Sanga collapsed into giggles and squeezed the older woman tightly. It was only when she was wrapped in her arms, her mouth right up at Josie’s ear that she whispered, ‘Josie, is everything okay with this wedding?’

  Josie froze, pulled back, then tugged Senga over to the side of the foyer, out of earshot of everyone else. ‘What makes you ask that?’ Did Senga know where Caro was? Did she have some insight into what was going on, some clue that would help them understand?

  ‘Because our Stacey… aw, bugger. Never mind.’

  Josie caught Senga’s glance going to her daughter, who had just entered the room, looking absolutely sensational in a pale blush dress that hugged every curve, her dark hair tumbling in waves down her back, her flawless face bearing more than a little resemblance to a young Catherine Zeta-Jones.

  Josie and Senga both watched wordlessly as Stacey, oblivious to their presence, made a beeline for Cammy. As soon as he saw her, he pulled her to one side and whispered in her ear, as if they were in cahoots about something, Josie thought. The way she looked at him, the absolute adoration in her eyes, was plain for anyone watching to see.

  ‘Feck, she’s in love with him?’ Josie whispered to Senga.

  Her friend nodded. ‘And, Josie, I’m so sorry, but I think she might have done something that will throw that poor boy’s life into turmoil.’

  Josie closed her eyes, sighed, then opened them and raised them heavenwards. Someone up there was definitely having a laugh.

  Her beady gaze trained on Stacey and Cammy again, as she let go of Senga’s hand and started to make her way towards them.

  Problem number 2343 of the day. And right now, she didn’t have a solution.

  Twenty-Seven

  Stacey

  As soon as Stacey entered the reception room, her pulse quickened. It was beyond exquisite. The guests walked through the entrance foyer, collecting a crystal flute of champagne from the uniformed waiting staff, the aroma of fresh flowers preparing everyone for what came next. She was directed through to a stunning flower-lined conservatory, with about twenty white wooden chairs on either side of an emerald green carpet, each chair adorned with a trellis of blooms that stretched from one side of each row to the other. There were already many guests here, but before she could scan the faces, her gaze fell on the most important one. Cammy’s eyes met hers and she experienced such a rush of longing it almost unsteadied her. He looked exactly how she’d always imagined he would on his wedding day. The impeccable suit, the handsome face, the hair falling sexily over his dark lashes. The only thing missing from the picture was the reflection of herself, dressed in white, holding flowers and wearing something borrowed and blue.

  He made a beeline for her and pulled her to one side. ‘Thank
God you’re here,’ he blurted. ‘I need to make the announcement, but I’m bricking it. I don’t know where to start. Josie said she’ll help me, but the reality is, it has to come from me.’

  ‘Do you want me to do it?’ She wanted to take that back as soon as she’d said it. What was she thinking? Of course she didn’t want to stand up there and announce to a room full of people that the wedding was off. Her acting skills weren’t great, so it would be too easy for people to read her true feelings. Plus, there was every chance that Senga would ground her until she was fifty for getting involved.

  Thankfully, he shook his head. ‘No, it should be me. And I will. I just wanted to wait until everyone was here, because we owe it to them to still put on a party. Or a wake. RIP my wedding. And, Stacey, about this afternoon…’

  She clenched her teeth together to stop herself responding. This afternoon. Thank God it was chilly in here because thinking back on it was making her face burn. Her mind pressed rewind to just a couple of hours ago, to the conversation they’d had in his hotel room.

  ‘Because back then, when I let you go, I didn’t feel the way I do now,’ she’d said, her eyes locked on his, hoping against hope that he’d realise, that he wouldn’t make her say it.

  ‘What do you mean?’ he’d asked, completely clueless. Damn it! He was making this way too difficult. If he’d given her just one clue that he knew, one hint that there was something there, one gesture that made her think that he was aware of something more between them, then she’d have blurted everything out. Instead she’d had to test the water, take it gently, because the last thing she wanted to do was make it worse.

  ‘I don’t know,’ she’d said, a white lie. ‘I guess I was just a bit more naïve and thought that everyone fell into their happy ever after. I didn’t realise that sometimes you have to go after it, work for it, that sometimes people realise what they want at different times.’

  Come on, Cammy, see me. Hear what I’m saying.

  ‘So you’re saying that I need to work for this? That I should make Caro change her mind? That she’ll want to get married at some point in the future?’

  If her head had been near a wall she’d have been banging it right about then.

  ‘No! I mean…’ Oh, fuck. She’d realised she was just going to have to be a little more explicit, lead him down the path, leave breadcrumbs. ‘I just mean that sometimes it’s not a given that everything works out the way it should. Sometimes you need to make things happen. Take for example…’ She’d paused, her internal voices clashing. One was opting for silence and the other was screaming, Say it. Say it! ‘… when you told me you loved me that last night in LA.’

  His head had snapped up in surprise.

  Keep going. Keeping bloody going.

  ‘I guess what I mean is that if we were meant to be together, then I would have realised at some point between then and now that I loved you too, and I’d have come after you, no matter what the cost. And you’d still believe now that we were meant to be together too.’

  Say something that will give me hope. Tell me you sometimes wonder, tell me you settled for someone else because you couldn’t have me.

  ‘We never did talk about that, did we?’ The frown eased in his brow for the first time since they’d entered the room.

  ‘No.’ One word, then the inner voice opting for silence won out that time. Let him talk.

  The next few seconds felt like a week, until a sad, rueful smile crossed his face.

  ‘I wanted to come back. Every day for the next couple of months, I thought about jumping on a plane and doing one of those An Officer and a Gentleman moments where Richard Gere sweeps Debra Winger off her feet…’

  It was one of her favourite movies and they’d watched it together more times than she could count.

  ‘Why didn’t you?’ She’d found it hard to get the words past the strangle knot in her throat.

  He’d shrugged.

  Please say that you regret it, that you should have done it…

  ‘Because I’d probably have pulled my back out and then Jax would have beaten me to a pulp.’ It was obvious to her that he was using flippancy to cover a more meaningful thought.

  ‘Probably true,’ she’d joked back, trying to stay on the same page, knowing that the truth would follow. With Cammy, it always did.

  Another week-long silence, before he finally spoke again. ‘I guess I knew that you weren’t interested in me that way. We’d been friends for so long and nothing had ever happened… I knew you didn’t want me like that.’

  In her mind, she was formulating what to say next.

  I want you now.

  I wish you had come back.

  It’s not too late.

  I love you. I just didn’t realise it then.

  Maybe Caro cancelling the wedding is because we were meant to be together.

  Did I mention I love you?

  Before she could get any of those words out, he’d gone on.

  ‘The thing is, I knew that if I came back, then you’d blow me out of the water…’

  I wouldn’t have. I promise.

  ‘And that would have killed our friendship. I couldn’t do that because you matter too much to me. I’ve loved you since the minute I met you, Stacey Summers…’

  Yes!

  ‘You’re the sister I never had.’

  No! Oh, don’t. Not the ‘sister’ thing.

  ‘And I couldn’t do anything that would jeopardise that. Besides…’ he’d switched to flippancy again, ‘I’m glad I didn’t fuck it up, because you’d have blocked me for being some crazy weird needy stalker and then you wouldn’t be here with me now and I’m so, so fucking glad that you are.’

  Stacey’s heart had sunk. Oh, the irony. He was saying all the things she’d have wanted him to say if she didn’t have feelings for him: that one night of passion hadn’t wrecked their relationship, that he loved her too much to risk it, that he needed her here now. Fantastic. Great. All good. Except… she was in love with him and wanted him to feel the same, to come to his senses, to realise that this, right here, was an opportunity for them to do what they should have done three years ago.

  It was time to correct him and speak her truth.

  But she couldn’t.

  ‘Me too,’ she’d said, inwardly cursing her cowardice while desperately trying to hold back the tears and be the bloody sister that he thought she was.

  Game over. If, even in his jilted state, he still didn’t realise that he was almost marrying the wrong woman, then she was only going to push him away by telling him. Caro wasn’t his second choice – she was the one he’d been meant to be with all along.

  That stung. Really, truly stung. She could almost hear Senga’s voice saying, ‘Suck it up, love – what did you expect? And what are you going to do now?’

  Good question. She loved him – but what he needed today was his best friend. And that was who she was going to be.

  For now.

  ‘So…’ she’d said, with a renewed energy and strength that she definitely wasn’t feeling. ‘What’s the plan? What do you need me to do?’

  Please make it involve being naked.

  Enough!

  She’d switched off her internal thoughts. Speculation was over. It was done. Time for self-preservation and moving forward.

  Beer finished, she’d taken another two from the minibar, handing one to Cammy.

  ‘I don’t have a plan,’ he’d admitted. ‘I’m just going to carry on, go over to the venue, tell everyone, and then get drunk with all my friends and family at my non-wedding. Christ, it’ll be awful, but it’s the only thing I can do. May as well make the most of it, eh? Fucked if I know what I’m going to say, though. I’ll have to wing it. I don’t have any choice.’

  Somehow, the fact that he was being so stoic and thoughtful made her love him even more – and made her want to shake Caro for doing this to him.

  In her dreams, he’d confessed that he loved her and they’d spent the
afternoon engaged in wild passion and giving thanks that they’d realised in time. In reality? He’d gone for a shower, and she’d headed home for a quick change of clothes, then gone straight to the beautiful glass wedding venue, where she stood beside him now, a tiny glimmer of hope still flickering.

  ‘And Stacey, about this afternoon…’ Cammy was saying. She reached down and instinctively took his hand, something they’d done as friends a thousand times over the years. ‘Thank you,’ he went on. ‘I needed a pal and I’m so glad it was you.’

  Jesus, he was killing her here.

  ‘Any time,’ she said, squeezing his fingers. ‘When are you going to tell everyone?’

  ‘Soon. I can’t bear to hear another person say congratulations. I’m hoping that Josie—’

  ‘Did I hear you call my name, oh master?’ Josie’s booming, husky voice made her jump. She was like a bloody ninja, sneaking up like that.

  Stacey instinctively let go of Cammy’s hand and experienced a wave of guilt, even though she’d done absolutely nothing wrong. Not. A. Thing. Although, the way Josie was looking at her with an all-knowing gaze of suspicion made her wonder if she’d been reading her mind. Then, out of the corner of her eye, she caught her mother staring over, looking fearful. Bugger. Her mum must have said something to Josie and sent her careering over here. Well, she wasn’t fifteen any more. Josie couldn’t ground her or chide her for impure thoughts.

  She met the older woman’s steely glare… and crumbled on the inside. Who was she kidding? Stacey could be sixty and one sideways look from Josie would still make her throw up her hands in surrender.

  Of course, Cammy was completely oblivious to any undercurrent and too busy fretting to notice that she’d suddenly gone a bit red around the neck. He pulled at the collar of his shirt as if it were strangling him. ‘I did, Josie. I was just saying to Stacey that I’m going to tell everyone soon. Either that or start drinking, get wrecked and hope they guess it’s off when Caro doesn’t make an appearance.’