Low The Last Day of Winter

by Low, Shari

  10 p.m. – Midnight

  Thirty-Three

  Caro

  ‘I love you, Cammy Jones,’ Caro whispered, as they slow-danced, despite the fact that the ceilidh hour had given way to pop classics, and Robbie William’s ‘Let Me Entertain You’ was blaring from the speakers. When Josie had sent out the invitations, she’d asked every guest to RSVP with their two favourite songs, and she’d made up the playlist for this section of the night from their suggestions. The result was crazily eclectic and brilliantly entertaining, because every time a song came on, someone shouted ‘That’s mine!’ and dragged everyone around them up to the area that had been commandeered for dancing. Caro had no idea who’d chosen Mr Williams, but her money was on Val – she’d almost got arrested for trying to bluff her way into Take That’s hotel back in the day.

  ‘Are you sure?’ Cammy joked, a cheeky twinkle in his eye. ‘Because, you know, if you change your mind again, the lawyers’ fees are going to be expensive.’

  He was amazing, this man. She’d absolutely devastated him today, put him through a wringer of pain and confusion, and yet, here he was, forgiving her, joking with her, just glad they’d made it in the end. All he cared about was how much they loved each other – and even in her darkest moments over the last few days, she’d never doubted how she felt about him.

  ‘Well, not really,’ she teased. ‘You do come with a lot of baggage. That ex-girlfriend of yours is something else.’ It was going to take time to process Lila’s stunt – the poor cow – but that was for another day. She wasn’t going to let it pour even a sliver of shade on their day. Right now, Cammy’s laughter was contagious and her cheeks were beginning to hurt. Lila wasn’t taking that away from them.

  ‘Come here, I want to kiss your face off,’ Cammy said, leading her over to a quiet corner at the side of the dance floor, where he proceeded to do as he’d promised. This was everything. Nothing could spoil this moment.

  Except… Josie swanned by, rolling her eyes as she spotted them. ‘Urgh, you get one day, ONE DAY for all that public displays of affection nonsense. If I see you two doing that tomorrow, I’m going to batter you with my handbag.’

  ‘You should come with a health warning,’ Cammy told her. ‘May explode when placed near instances of high-grade sentimentality.’

  ‘Urgh, I’d ban it all.’ Josie shivered, but Caro knew she didn’t mean a word of it. On the outside, Josie was hard as nails, but on the inside? Pure mush.

  ‘Josie, we can’t thank you enough for everything you did to organise today. It’s been amazing.’

  Josie pursed her lips in faux despair. ‘Aye, every wedding needs a vanishing bride, a long-lost father and a psycho ex-girlfriend trying to hijack the ceremony.’

  Caro had briefly filled a shocked Cammy in on the possibility that Seb was her dad. He’d been delighted for her. That’s the kind of man he was – one who rolled with the punches. That’s why she wasn’t surprised that he was taking a pragmatic approach to Josie’s recap of the events so far. ‘Well, it certainly won’t be one that anyone forgets in a hurry. I’d rather be memorable than easily forgotten.’

  ‘That’s the story of my life, son,’ Josie replied. ‘The story of my life.’

  Caro thought she saw a tinge of uncharacteristic emotion in her friend as she said that and felt a wave of self-reproach. Had they given Josie too much stress? Too much to deal with? Not just in the run-up to the wedding, but today, when everything seemed like it could fall apart? It was so easy to forget Josie had strutted into her seventies, but actually, as Caro watched her darling friend, Josie looked more tired than she’d ever seen her.

  As if she could read her mind, Josie put her hand on Caro’s. ‘If we’re doing all that PDA shite, then I’m going to get one in too. Thank you for letting me be a part of this wedding today. I loved every minute of putting it together, and you’ve no idea how much all of it, even the drama, has kept me going. I’m the happiest woman alive to see you both like this. You’re two of my favourite people in the world and I’m so happy you found each other. I love you both.’ She paused, as if it was too hard for her to continue, and Caro instinctively reached over and hugged her tight. To her surprise, she thought she heard Josie sniff. Just as she was about to ask her if she was okay, Josie shrugged her off with a wry grin. ‘However, if you tell anyone that I came out with all this mushy stuff, I’ll hunt you down. Do we understand each other?’

  Caro’s aching cheeks got another workout. ‘Indeed we do. We love you, Josie, you know that, don’t you?’

  Josie rolled her eyes. ‘Aye, all right, pet, you’re going too far now, I need a drink.’ And with that, and a loud, husky cackle of a laugh, she danced off, hands in the air, towards Val, who was swinging her hips on the dance floor.

  ‘If I ever leave you, it’ll be for her,’ Cammy said, watching her go.

  ‘Same goes for me, to be honest,’ Caro shot back. ‘Anyway, where were we? I think you were declaring undying love for me. Or were we talking about my delightful sister?’

  ‘You know, Stacey said Lila recorded the whole thing. It wasn’t an attempt to get me back because she wants to be with me, it was a publicity stunt to get attention.’

  ‘Seriously?’ Caro found it impossible to take this in. ‘You know, I always thought that Lila had it better than me. I mean, my dad pretty much ignored me all of my life, and yet, Lila was always gushing about him on social media, saying how much he loved her. I’m starting to wonder if that’s actually true. She seems so messed up, so desperate for some kind of validation. I spoke to her earlier today and she looked terrible. Nothing at all like she did tonight. She said she’d lost her job, that she was back living with her mum and dad, and that basically the world had turned its back on her. That must have been so tough to deal with.’

  ‘I think you’re being too kind to her.’

  ‘Maybe,’ Caro shrugged. ‘But I think at some point soon I should try to talk to her…’ She caught sight of Seb and watched as he made a beeline for Josie. ‘Whether she’s actually my half-sister or not. Maybe she just needs a friend. I mean, look what we’ve got here. I love every single person in this room and they love us too. I don’t think Lila has that. She doesn’t seem to have anyone at all…’

  ‘Because if she did, they’d be telling her to get a grip and stop acting like a self-obsessed maniac?’ Cammy interjected, his face a picture of innocence.

  Caro pushed him, laughing. ‘Not exactly the point I was making.’

  ‘I know. And I get what you’re saying, but when I knew Lila, she wasn’t interested in friends. Or in anyone but herself. It just took me a while to see that.’

  Once again, Caro thought how difficult it was to believe that Cammy and Lila had been a couple. They were such opposites in every way. He once admitted that he’d got caught up in the glamour and excitement of Lila’s life, and that he’d been at a point when he’d just returned from LA and didn’t really know where he belonged. Caro figured it was just a collision of two people who saw something in each other that they needed at the time. She was just grateful that Lila had sabotaged it in time for Cammy to come to his senses.

  The music changed and the opening bars of Tina Turner’s ‘Proud Mary’ blared from the speakers, causing a roar of appreciation from the dance floor.

  ‘That’s mine!’ Josie cried, before a coughing fit made her cling on to Val for a minute. Caro made a mental note to get her one of those books on stopping smoking for Christmas. She’d also buy herself body armour for the inevitable moment when Josie realised what it was and hit her with it. On the dance floor, she’d made a recovery, and now she was sashaying towards Cammy, arms outstretched. ‘Come on, son, you know it’s our favourite! Try and keep up.’

  They both knew that resistance was futile, so Cammy allowed himself to be dragged on to the dance floor and thrust into the middle of Josie’s pals, all of them whooping and cheering at his moves.

  Caro felt the surge of joy start at her toes and ex
plode in her chest. What had she been thinking this morning? It was simply impossible to love anyone more than she loved Cammy Jones. Her husband.

  Happy, joyful, bursting with gratitude, she nipped out to the loo, then, on the way back, took a detour to the main door. She just needed to see the stars for a moment.

  Eyes heavenwards, she smiled. ‘Thanks, Mum,’ she whispered. ‘I’ve no idea how you did it, but that was a master stroke today. I need you to know that I’m happy. So, so happy, Mum. In fact, the only thing missing from my life is you. But I hope I’m making you proud. I’ve found a good man and he loves me back. Oh, and I met Seb today. Did you know how he felt about you? I don’t even want to think what would have happened if you’d chosen him back then and I’d grown up with him as my dad. Hopefully it’s not too late for us to make that right. I love you, Mum. I hope you’re smiling up there.’

  A sense of peace descended as she turned and headed back down the glass corridor towards the room containing her whole world. She was almost there when Seb came out of the door, meeting her in the hallway.

  ‘You know, you’ve got some pretty special friends in there,’ he said. ‘But I think I’ve pulled several muscles and Proud Mary may have done my back in.’

  Caro giggled. ‘Yep, I saw Josie and Val throwing you around the dance floor. And was that Senga you were doing the Macarena with? She’s got muscles like a race horse.’

  He laughed, but then it turned to something more solemn. ‘I explained everything to your Aunt Pearl too and she was surprised but lovely – says she’d be over the moon if it works out for us. Today has been quite a day,’ he said. ‘I would never have believed it would turn out this way.’

  ‘Me neither. I was just outside having a chat to my mum and I told her how great it was.’

  He acted like this was a perfectly normal and rational comment. ‘I hope you told her I send my love.’

  ‘I did. I think she’s glad you’re here,’ Caro replied, grinning, before noticing something she’d wondered about. ‘Can I ask you something?’

  ‘Anything.’

  ‘Your bag,’ she gestured to the brown leather bag over his shoulder. ‘It hasn’t left your side all day, even when you were dancing,’ she said. ‘You know no one’s going to steal it, right?’

  Seb sighed, and she could see his forehead crease into a frown of worry. ‘I don’t know how to say this without sounding like the kind of complete weirdo that you’ll definitely want to have removed from your wedding.’

  Caro’s whole body deflated. ‘Och, bugger. My existing dad is a sociopathic, rude, lying, cheating dick, and now his possible replacement is carrying… what? Drugs? Guns? Please tell me it’s a stamp collection and nothing illegal.’

  Seb leaned against the iron window frame behind him. ‘Please don’t be freaked out.’

  ‘Porn? PLEASE DO NOT LET THERE BE PORN AT MY WEDDING.’

  ‘No, no! It’s…’ he paused. ‘Okay, please understand, I just flew here this morning, and also understand that I haven’t had a chance to go back to the hotel and check into my room. The day has kind of got away from me – in the best possible way, of course.’

  Caro processed what he was saying, her mind flashing back to earlier, to his conversation about coming here to keep his promise to Juliet. Juliet. Juliet. The word went round in circles in her head until…

  ‘Oh, my goodness. It’s… Juliet’s ashes?’

  Thirty-Four

  Seb

  Seb cursed himself for his stupidity. He immediately put his hands up. ‘I’m so sorry. It wasn’t deliberate and I’d never have brought her to your wedding, but it just… happened. I’ve had her with me all day, on some kind of pilgrimage, I guess. I wanted to revisit all the places she loved, and then scatter her ashes somewhere with meaning. I just didn’t find the right moment, and then you came along and… I know it sounds so weird. Are you totally horrified? I wouldn’t blame you at all.’

  Shit! For the first time in months, he’d had a glimmer of happiness today, a shred of hope that there could be something in his future other than regret and loss, and now he’d messed it up. He should have made some excuse and gone to the hotel to put his bag in the room, but there had just never seemed like the right time and now he’d upset this lovely young woman on the day of her w—

  ‘No,’ Caro said, calmly. And she wasn’t backing away with a look of fear on her face, so he took that as a good sign. ‘In fact, I think it’s really sweet and beautiful. In a weird kind of way, obviously.’

  ‘Obviously,’ he agreed.

  ‘And I get it, to be honest. I scattered my mum’s ashes on a beach that I knew she loved. It gave me comfort to know that she’d been so happy there. Have you found the right place yet?’

  He decided to be completely honest. ‘Okay, if the ashes in my bag didn’t freak you out, this one might.’

  ‘I’m ready,’ she said, and he appreciated her calm pragmatism. He’d had real feelings for her mum, but Yvonne was flighty, a bit bohemian almost. Caro had a quiet, down to earth strength that he found completely enchanting.

  ‘All day I’ve been thinking that I’d know when the time was right, and now I feel it is. I think I’d like to scatter them here, in the gardens. We never came to Glasgow without coming here because she adored it. We spent so many afternoons lying on a blanket on the grass, just reading, talking…’ He could feel the tears starting to pool on his lower eyelids and he blinked them back. ‘It was special to her, to us both. And no matter whether I’m your dad or not, it also has even more meaning because I met you here and because this has been – without question – one of the most special nights of my life. The fact that you got married here today… well, Juliet would have loved that. Maybe this, whether we’re related or not, is a connection between us.’

  He stopped speaking, partly because the emotion was squeezing the life out of him and partly because he was scared that he’d pushed too far. There should be a process to this relationship. They’d met, now they should establish if they actually were related, and then they could gradually work on getting to know each other and building a friendship. He and Caro seemed to have jumped several steps, and now he was asking her to take a leap of faith that would seem crazy to most people. He was about to backpedal, to come up with another plan, when she spoke.

  ‘I think that’s a beautiful idea. You know, if you loved Juliet like this in life, then she was a very lucky woman. I hope I’m your daughter, I really do. But if I’m not, then please know that I think you’re really special and I’d still like to get to know you.’

  Waves and waves of gratitude almost floored him. For the last six months, he’d felt completely alone, his loneliness a gnawing ache that no painkiller, not even the one that came at the bottom of a bottle, could cure.

  Before he could tell her that, the doors to the wedding area slammed open behind him and out came a conga line led by Caro’s friend Val, with Josie bringing up the rear. There were party blowers, streamers, and brilliantly out-of-tune voices singing at the top of their lungs as it passed them. Val grabbed Caro and tucked her in behind her. Seb stepped back just in time to avoid the same fate, laughing as they passed him and trailed off down the corridor. He had no idea where they would end up, but they’d have a great time getting there.

  ‘Jesus, if I wasn’t already dying, that lot would kill me,’ Josie barked, and only then did he see that she’d left the line and was standing a couple of metres away, hands on knees, her words punctuated with a cough that made him wince.

  ‘Can I get you anything? Water? Wine?’

  That made her laugh. ‘Nah, I’m fine. But this trying to act normal is exhausting stuff.’

  ‘I know all about that,’ he said, ‘and you’re right. Look, there’s a seat over there, fancy a breather?’

  ‘An iron lung and a big shot of drugs would be my preferred choice, but if it’s all you’re offering…’ She took his hand and let him lead her over to a bench halfway down the glass corridor.<
br />
  ‘How are you doing?’ he asked, ‘and don’t be trying to fob me off with some glib answer.’

  ‘Nothing involving meaningless sex during my career as a groupie in the seventies then?’

  A gale of laughter overtook his attempts to be serious. ‘No, but those are definitely stories we can revisit in the future.’

  She grinned but didn’t speak for a moment, too busy prising off her boots and giving her feet a rub. ‘My poor feet are killing me,’ she groaned. ‘I really hope the afterlife has sussed out comfortable shoes that still make the calves look good.’

  ‘I’m pretty sure it’s top of their list,’ he assured her. Okay, so she wanted to keep this light and away from the serious stuff they were talking about earlier. That was completely understandable. He just wanted to let her know that he was around if she needed to vent. Not that he knew her well, but he could already sense that Josie wasn’t someone who leaned on others for support. They’d already discovered that sometimes it was easier to lay out your worries on a stranger and he was happily volunteering for the job.

  ‘Been some day for both of us, eh?’ she said. ‘Well done on getting Caro here. How did she take the news?’

  ‘Better than I could ever have imagined. What about you? Managed to talk to anyone?’

  He knew that he didn’t have to explain what he was referring to and he wasn’t surprised when she shook her head.

  ‘You know, I’ve had the best night,’ she said, with a sigh that had hints of both joy and sadness. ‘At five o’clock today, I was bone-weary, exhausted to my very core. Then tonight, I come here, and I feel rougher than a badger’s arse. But then something happens when I’m around the people in there. Every single one of them means something to me.”

  He let her talk, worried that if he even made a sound, she’d clam up and be back to that stoic woman he’d watched all night.