Edge Of Fear (Arrow's Edge MC Book 4)

by Freya Barker

  “That’s gotta raise some flags,” I comment.

  “Sure does. Especially since Jim Marquez doesn’t exist. At least not anymore. The social security number belongs to someone who died in 2019 in a car crash outside Shiprock. Apparently, Clover Produce doesn’t look too closely at their new hires. The Farmington Field Office is looking into the company. Talking to staff and management, shaking a few trees to see what’ll fall out, but other than that we don’t have a whole lot to go on. The lab is doing analysis of the drugs we have to see if they can match them up with other contraband from recent busts. Maybe we can retrace the steps that way, see where it came from, but that takes time too.”

  “So what now?”

  Luna turns to Sophia with a sympathetic smile. “Now we pick away at loose threads. It’s what we’re good at. It may take some time, but sooner or later we’ll find something.”

  “In the meantime,” Ouray jumps in, his eyes also on my girl. “We’re gonna stay vigilant. We’ll keep eyes on the Backyard, but it’ll be business as usual. You don’t have to worry about a thing, we’ll take care of it.”

  I can feel Sophia tighten up under my hand.

  “Spoken like a true caveman.” Luna, who is very observant, gives her husband a sharp look before she turns back to Sophia. “Ignore everything he said after business as usual, and replace it with we’ve got your back. I’ll make sure you’re kept up-to-date.”

  A soft knock has me turn around to find Ravi in the doorway.

  “Lisa says dinner’s ready.”

  “Perfect. Let’s eat.”

  Ouray gets up and walks out of the room, Luna right behind him, but Ravi is lingering by the door.

  “Not hungry, kiddo?” Sophia asks him.

  “Yeah, but I was just gonna ask…” He flashes a glance my way. “Can Tse bring Van tomorrow?”

  When I got to the site this morning, he’d looked disappointed when I was the only one getting out of the Jeep. He’d asked me when I left if I’d be bringing the dog and I told him to check with Sophia. I would’ve said no if her parents weren’t planning to be around for a couple of days. I’d rather she not be alone.

  She grins at the kid.

  “Fine by me, as long as he doesn’t get in the way.”

  His normally solemn face lights up. Not quite a full smile, but a start.

  CHAPTER 22

  Sophia

  BLOSSOM AND DUFF are starting to get on my nerves.

  A few days have turned into more than a week and I’ve gone back to my normal hours for the past few days, but they don’t seem in a hurry to continue on that trip they started.

  Tse doesn’t seem to mind, which is almost more annoying. I’ll complain about having absolutely no privacy in my own home, and he’ll brush it off.

  I’ve been feeling a little off in the morning the past couple of days, a little sick to my stomach. Nothing that has me heaving over the toilet, just enough I don’t want to eat when I get up. Blossom has been forcing ginger tea and crackers on me as soon as I get downstairs, when I just want to be left alone for a few minutes.

  This morning I snapped.

  Tse just left for Paco’s place and my mother was trying to get me to chew on some fennel seeds when I blew. I wasn’t so nice to my mother, then Duff mumbled something about hormones, and I lost it. Ran upstairs with Van on my heels and flung myself on my bed like a teenager, not a woman in her thirties. Not unlike the many times I did the same thing during my teenage years.

  I know I’m being ridiculous, but I can’t stop the waterworks. I just feel so…out of control.

  Everything is new and unfamiliar: new place, new job, new relationship, new dog, and now an unplanned pregnancy all within the span of a few months. Oh, and don’t let me forget a drug ring operating from my restaurant and my parents virtually moving in.

  Each time I think I’m starting to feel some solid ground under my feet, it turns out to be quicksand. The landscape keeps changing on me before I have a chance to adjust to it.

  All I want is…

  God, I don’t even know what I want anymore.

  Van, who jumped on the bed with me, shoves his nose under my arm, whimpering. I’m even driving the dog crazy.

  “It’s okay,” I mumble, as he tries to get to my wet face.

  Suddenly his head snaps up and his tail starts thumping on the mattress, moments before the door opens and Tse walks in. He takes one look at me and shoos the dog off the bed, taking the vacant spot, and hauling me into his arms.

  “You gotta calm down, Fee,” he mumbles, rubbing a big hand up and down my back.

  “What are you doing here?” I finally manage to calm myself down enough to say.

  “Duff called me. Said you needed me.”

  I lift my head from his shoulder and look at him.

  “And you dropped everything.” It’s not so much a question as it is a conclusion.

  “Babe…” he drawls, an eyebrow raised.

  I instantly feel ashamed for causing drama. He’s been nothing but steady, despite my folks’ constant presence and my mood swings.

  “I’m a mess.”

  One side of his mouth lifts in a smirk.

  “Yeah,” he confirms with brutal honesty. “But you’ll get your shit together. Give it time.”

  Even that—not offering to fix things for me, but trusting me to fix myself—is a testament to what a good guy he is.

  “Thank you.”

  I lean in and brush his lips with mine, but when I pull back, his hand cups the back of my head and he deepens the kiss. We’re lying in bed—wandering hands and legs and tongues tangled—it heats up quickly, and if Van hadn’t let out a soft woof alerting us, Blossom walking in might’ve been embarrassing.

  “We’re heading out,” she announces from the doorway.

  I scramble from the bed and fling myself in her arms.

  “Don’t. I’m so sorry for snapping at you. I’ve not been—”

  “Hush, baby-girl,” she interrupts, placing a cool hand against my cheek. “Your father’s been itching to get on the road and Bianca is starting to wonder what’s keeping us.”

  Because it’s still very early, I didn’t want to announce my pregnancy yet. Not until I have a chance to get used to the idea myself anyway. Blossom may not have any boundaries, but is a vault when it comes to secrets. I hope she can keep my father in check, because if anyone’s going to let it slip it’ll be him.

  “I’m sorry,” I repeat.

  “None of that. We’ll swing back this way after we hit Vegas before the snow falls.”

  Only twenty minutes later I stand tucked under Tse’s arm—a show of silent support I’m grateful for—waving as my parents’ deathtrap on wheels rumbles down my driveway. When they disappear from sight, Tse curls me into his body and tips up my chin with a finger.

  “Go get cleaned up, Fee. We’ve got a stop to make before I drop you off at work.”

  I’m grateful for that too. Not pampering me but instead steering me firmly to a familiar routine. I lift up on my toes and kiss him lightly. Then he lets me go and I head inside.

  “Where are we going?”

  Van’s big head is sticking between the front seats, his eyes on the road ahead. He loves riding in the car.

  “Brick called yesterday. He found a truck that checks all the boxes on my wish list at a dealership in town.”

  “He couldn’t fix the old one?”

  His dark eyes turn to me.

  “Babe. That one was toast before it broke down. He’s been keeping an eye out for a while, but I told him a few days ago to put a rush on it.”

  “Oh.”

  I glance out the side window. I’m not sure what it means. We’ve been doing fine with just the Jeep since he has his bike as well. Unless he’s planning to go back to the clubhouse, which would make sharing a vehicle a bit of a challenge. I noticed last night his clothes are still in his duffel bag on the floor of my closet. I even made room for him, also freed up a co
uple of drawers in the dresser, but the bag remains on the floor.

  “Stop.” I swivel around to find him glaring at me. “Whatever’s going around that head of yours, making you look like someone kicked your puppy. Just stop.”

  I try, I really do, but when we pull into the car dealership just half a mile up the road from the restaurant. I’m near tears. Again. If this is what pregnancy does to me—turning me into an emotional mess—I’m not a fan.

  Tse holds my hand as we walk to the showroom when an older man intercepts us.

  “You must be Tse?” he says, holding out a hand. “Brick said you’d stop by this morning. I’m Ted. It’s right over here.”

  The ‘it’ he’s referring to is a deep burgundy crew cab pickup truck with a Honda logo on the grill. Brand-new from the looks of it. It’s very pretty—as pickup trucks go—and although not huge, like some monsters you see on the road, it looks roomy.

  Tse lets go of my hand and walks around the vehicle before he opens the passenger door for me.

  “Hop in.”

  I glance over at the salesman, who nods, before getting in. Tse rounds the front of the truck and gets behind the wheel, closing the door.

  “Like the color?” He twists toward me, dropping his arm on the back of my seat. “They have one in black in stock as well, but Brick suggested I ask you.”

  “It’s your truck. You should decide.”

  He reaches for the hank of hair that keeps slipping from behind my ear and tugs it.

  “Don’t care other than it’s functional, a safe ride, and fits a baby seat. Your ass is gonna be in it a lot, so pick the color.”

  I’m such an idiot.

  “Red. I like the red,” I tell him, the first tear rolling down my face.

  “Fuck me,” Tse mumbles, tilting his head back to look at the ceiling. Then he leans in to brush a thumb under my eye. “Gotta stop doing that, baby.”

  “Then I guess you shouldn’t have knocked me up,” I snap, annoyed he makes it sound I’m doing it on purpose.

  But I’m no longer crying.

  Tse

  “Cool truck.”

  Elan walks up when I get out, eyeing my new ride.

  I still haven’t been able to get much out of Ravi, but his confidence seems to have grown over the past weeks. Yesterday when I suggested he check to see if some of the other kids wanted to come and help, he seemed open to the idea. Apparently, he didn’t waste any time.

  Elan’s comment makes me realize I haven’t been at the clubhouse for a while. I should rectify that, but since Blossom and Duff left, Sophia and I hit a nice, easy groove I don’t wanna mess with.

  “Picked it up last week. The old one was dead.”

  The kid grins, bending down to greet Van.

  “Yeah, tell me about it. Brick had us rip it apart to salvage good parts. There weren’t many.”

  I start walking toward the house that is actually starting to look like one. The wrapping is done, as is a lot of the interior framing. We’re getting it ready for electrical and HVAC to go in next week, which means we’ll be focusing on the exterior. At this rate we’ll have it close to ready by the time the first snow flies.

  In a few weeks it’ll be September. Sophia is dead set on going to the Four Corners Motorcycle Rally, which always takes place the first weekend of the month. She heard about it from Lisa. I’m not so sure it’s a good idea but she’s been adamant. Says it may be the last chance she’ll get to be on the back of my bike since by next summer the little one’ll be here.

  I caved, but I did insist she get the okay from a doctor first. Her first appointment is this afternoon so I’m leaving early; despite her insistence she’d be fine on her own. She’s been driving herself to work, but I’m still following her there and home—which earns me an eye roll every time—but I don’t give a flying fuck. We continue to have eyes on the restaurant, so I know someone’s looking out for her at work, but I’m not about to let her go to the clinic by herself. I promised her she wouldn’t have to do this on her own, and that includes doctor visits.

  I’ll admit there are times I feel like the responsibilities are piling up on me, and I wonder if I’m cut out for this. Mostly at night when Sophia is snuggled up against me, trusting me to keep her safe. It’s not just her life but also that of our baby. What if I drop the ball? Hell, I look at the boys at the club—at Ravi, at my own sorry history—and see the evidence of how easy it is to fuck up a kid’s life.

  I’m terrified I’ll be that parent. The one who can’t control his temper, who gets overwhelmed, and ends up hitting their kid. Or worse.

  Fuck.

  Here I am working on another man’s house, when I should be worrying about my own living situation. I don’t even have a proper place for my child to come home to.

  I’m already screwing it up.

  _______________

  “No mistaking that.”

  The doctor walks into the small examining room where we’ve been waiting. Sophia was asked to change into a gown and is sitting on the edge of the table.

  “You are definitely pregnant. Have you been taking prenatal vitamins?”

  Sophia nods. Her mother had picked them up in town that first day.

  “Good. Why don’t you lie back and let’s see if we can get some more clarity.”

  Sophia grabs my hand as he scoots up the gown and puts a hand on her belly. I almost say something because the way he fucking digs his fingers in can’t be comfortable, but she catches me glaring and sends me a little smile.

  “So you said the first day of your last period was the end of June?”

  “Yes. Uh, the twenty-ninth.”

  “Which would put your due date at around April fifth, give or take a couple of weeks either way. You’re about six to seven weeks pregnant.”

  That confuses the fuck out of me, because it hasn’t even been six weeks since Moab. I look at Sophia, who doesn’t seem disturbed by this fact at all, and grins at me.

  “They calculate from the first day of the last period.”

  Okay. It still doesn’t make sense but what do I know? Only that by this time next year I’m gonna be a goddamn father. Jesus Christ.

  “We may be a bit early but let’s have a listen.”

  He pulls a contraption from his pocket that looks like a walkie-talkie with a microphone attached.

  There’s a swishing sound as he moves the little microphone over her stomach, until suddenly, I hear a distinct thumping. Sophia’s hand twitches in mine.

  “Good. I’d like you to set up an appointment for an ultrasound next week.”

  “Isn’t that a little early?” I vaguely hear Sophia ask.

  “You won’t be able to see much yet, but it gives me a bit of a baseline.”

  The entire conversation sounds like it’s taking place underwater.

  Those steady thumps still echo in my ears.

  A heartbeat.

  Fuck.

  CHAPTER 23

  Tse

  “ARE YOU SURE?’

  Her eyes flutter open and her lips stretch in a lazy smile.

  “Positive…”

  “It’s not gonna—”

  “It’s perfectly safe. Please, Tse.”

  She’s on her back, her ass on the edge of the mattress where I just ate her. I’m holding her legs spread wide and as eager as I am to hammer my cock into that hot slick pussy, the thought of harming her or that little thing growing in her is holding me back. Hell, it’s been holding me back for weeks and I’ve started to worry my balls might fall off.

  “Please…”

  I position the tip at her entrance, the light brush already drawing an involuntary groan from deep in my chest. Then I ease inside her, my leg muscles shaking, trying not to pound into her, but that effort fails when I feel her pussy spasm around me and bury myself deep.

  “That’s it.”

  She wears a sly little smile as she tilts her hips a little more, grabs on to the bedspread, and hangs on for the ride
.

  I’m not gonna last.

  _______________

  “It’s gonna be beautiful.”

  Sophia wanted to come see the progress on Paco’s house and dropped in at the site. She’s off today and was getting a little stir-crazy at home, so I told her to drive down. We’re done for today and it’s just Paco, Ravi, and myself doing some cleanup.

  “Thanks,” Paco, who just took her around inside, mumbles.

  It is coming along nicely and after next week, when we can hopefully start hanging drywall, it’s going to go even faster. He’ll be able to move in before Christmas.

  I’m happy for Paco, he’s putting down some roots, but it also makes me painfully aware I’m living out of my duffel bag. No roots, no place to call my own, and nothing to offer. Instead, I’m shacked up in my woman’s one-bedroom rental with a kid on the way.

  That feeling of inadequacy I’ve been carrying around gets a bit heavier with every day that passes. Sophia insisted we keep the pregnancy to ourselves a little longer, so I can’t ask my brothers for advice yet.

  “Hey, I was going to make tacos for dinner,” Sophia says when we get outside. “You guys want to come over for a bite?”

  “Yes!” Ravi is quick to respond, the smile is closer to the surface these days. Especially around Sophia.

  “Sorry, kid. I’ve gotta get back to the clubhouse,” Paco tells him.

  “We can run him back after,” Sophia jumps in. “Right, Tse?”

  “Sure.”

  The kid hops into the Jeep with the dog and Sophia, and I follow them up the mountain in the truck.

  At the house, Ravi disappears around the back with Van—probably exploring—and I corner Sophia in the kitchen.

  “You’re good with him,” I tell her, my hands on the counter on either side of her, caging her in.

  “He makes it easy. He’s a good kid.”

  I can’t deny that, but I know all too well that what he shows us on the outside is only part of the story. It’s what he buries deep that should be cause for concern. I should know.

  I rest my head on her shoulder and she runs her fingers through my hair.