Edge Of Fear (Arrow's Edge MC Book 4)

by Freya Barker

  We end up having to order a couple of pizzas for the younger kids, because not even the eighty-seven meatballs I rolled are enough to feed everyone.

  I didn’t have a chance to ask Tse what kept him so long this afternoon before they started filing in, but it’ll wait, he’s over there laughing as his brothers rib him. Every so often his eyes drift my way and he winks, or smiles, making me feel important.

  I’ve never received so many hugs, kisses, and congratulations in a day, and already I’m overwhelmed with the offers for secondhand clothing, and cribs, and toys. At this rate we won’t have to buy a thing.

  I snuggle Finn on my lap, sniffing his hair—the same color as Kelsey’s—which smells like baby shampoo. A wave of sorrow hits me as I remember when she found out she was pregnant. Our circumstances were very different, but she’d been equally surprised. She’d grown to look forward to that baby and let me share her excitement every step of the way.

  I wish she were here to share this with me.

  “You miss her.”

  Brick’s voice pulls me out of my head and I shoot him a watery smile.

  “Yeah.”

  He bends over and kisses my forehead.

  “Didn’t know my daughter that well anymore, but I’m pretty sure she’d’ve been happy for ya.”

  I watch him make his way to the bar and know I’m not the only one who feels her absence.

  “Quit hogging the baby,” Tse says when he walks up.

  My guess is he caught that little interaction and is checking in on me, without appearing to do so. He’s so transparent it makes me smile.

  “I’m not hogging him. I’ve barely had a chance.”

  He plucks him off my lap anyway, and I have an immediate visceral response when he settles Finn in the crook of his arm.

  “Now that you’ve claimed him, you claimed that poopy diaper too. He probably needs a change.” I smirk at his horrified expression. “Lord knows you’re gonna need the practice.”

  After dinner I’m chatting with Jaimie, Trunk’s wife, when I notice Ravi disappearing down the hall. As is becoming the norm, Van follows right behind him. He’s been quiet all day and I wonder what is going through his head.

  I excuse myself quickly and head after him.

  The door is already closed when I get to his room, so I knock.

  “Hey, Ravi? It’s Sophia. Can I talk to you for a minute?”

  From inside I hear a muffled, “Okay,” and push open the door.

  He’s sitting on his bed and watches me while I greet Van, who behaves like he didn’t just see me minutes ago.

  “Can I sit?” I indicate the bed and he nods.

  “Guess you heard I’m having a baby, right?”

  “Two,” he corrects me with a serious face, making me smile.

  “So it seems. Which is why I wanted a word with you,” I start, hoping I can find the right tone. “You see, I was kinda hoping you’d be able to help out with the dog. Things will probably get busy and I’m sure there’ll be times we have our hands full. It would really help a lot to know he has someone looking out for him. And maybe for the babies too, when the time comes.”

  I may be imagining it, but he looks like he’s sitting a little taller.

  “Sure.”

  He ducks his head but can’t hide the pleased expression on his face.

  “Good, that makes me feel a lot better. Thank you.”

  I get up to leave but stop at the door.

  “Oh, and, Ravi?” He lifts his eyes. “I haven’t mentioned to anyone what you told me, that’s up to you, but maybe if you ever needed someone to talk to, Tse would be a good person. I think he’ll understand better than anyone.”

  I’m afraid he’ll shut down on me but instead he surprises me by nodding.

  “Maybe,” he mumbles, but it’s enough for me.

  CHAPTER 30

  Tse

  One month later.

  “TSE! VISITOR!”

  I’m brushing off some of the drywall dust I’m covered in as I make my way outside.

  VanDyken is talking to Paco—who just hollered for me—when I walk up.

  “Jay.”

  “Talked to Meredith,” he shares with a grin, wasting no time. “She’s ready to get the wheels rolling.”

  “Fuck, that’s great news.”

  What a relief.

  I was trying for the past month to find us a place. Something big enough, with a few extra rooms in case Sophia’s family comes to visit, but she’s been resistant. Last week that turned into an argument ending in her teary confession that with everything that happened she’d barely had a chance to enjoy her new life, her new house, and with the babies on the way she felt overwhelmed and out of control.

  I know that’s been a big issue for her—the lack of autonomy over her life—but the need to look after her and secure a future with her has been mine.

  I didn’t get much sleep that night, but by morning I had the raw outlines of an idea, which could be the perfect compromise, if it worked out. That was the problem, because it wasn’t just up to us. I spent most of the week fine-tuning my idea on paper, sorting out timelines, logistics, talking to the guys at the worksite, and even touching base with Brick.

  Didn’t particularly enjoy keeping Sophia in the dark, but I didn’t want to get her hopes up when ultimately it all hinged on one thing.

  Looks like I just got my all clear.

  “I’ve gotta go,” I announce to Paco.

  I slip the tool belt off my waist and hold it in one hand, while I offer VanDyken the other.

  “I’ll give you a call,” he says, clapping a hand on my shoulder, which sends a dust cloud up in the air.

  Instead of rushing to the restaurant I should probably have a shower first, but I need to drop Van off at home anyway.

  “Appreciate you, my friend,” I tell Jay.

  Then I whistle for the dog and toss him and the tools in my truck before I tear out of there.

  We’ve been making major strides on Paco’s place. During the week it’s mostly been him and me, with a couple of guys from Jed’s crew popping in occasionally. With the kids back in school, Ravi’s been out here helping on the weekends, proudly wearing his own tool belt Sophia thought to get him for his birthday last month. A couple of times Elan showed up to lend a hand as well. Those two seem to have forged something of a friendship.

  Unfortunately, if Sophia is on board with my plans, it would mean finishing Paco’s house would be on hold for at least a couple of months. By then it’ll be winter but he’s assured me a few times since the work we have left on his place is mostly inside, the weather won’t matter.

  I bring Van inside, feed him, and have a quick shower while he eats. Then I take him out for a quick pee, lock up the house, and head down the mountain.

  It’s Wednesday and although not as busy as on the weekends and still fairly early, the parking lot of the Backyard Edge is more than half full. I pull around back where most of the staff parks and find the spot beside Sophia’s Jeep empty.

  They’ve had to hire some new staff for both the kitchen and the dining room. Lea was back at work since last week, something Kaga had not been too pleased about, but she announced she was going stir-crazy at home. Sophia suggested training Lea so they can eventually share management of the restaurant. Ouray had been on board, and Kaga was satisfied knowing his wife wouldn’t be on her feet all day.

  As for me, I’m happy there’ll be some relief for Sophia. She has a tendency to push herself and I suspect the time will come when work will become too much. Already she gets tired quickly.

  I slip in the back door and find her in her office, her head resting on her arms on the desk. Softly closing the door behind me, I drop the papers I brought with me on the desk and bend down to press a kiss to her neck. Startled, her head snaps up and she would’ve clipped me in the chin if I hadn’t taken a quick step back.

  “It’s only me.”

  She swings around her chair and lo
oks a little disoriented.

  “Shit. Was I sleeping?” She doesn’t wait for an answer and immediately follows it with, “What time is it?”

  I take her hands and pull her to her feet, looking down at her belly, which is getting quite pronounced. I love watching her grow with my babies. Everything about her is getting fuller. Fuck, it makes me want to beat my chest and howl at the moon. Sinking down to my knees, I put my cheek to the soft swell.

  “What are you doing here?”

  She sounds like she’s smiling and I feel her fingers comb through my hair.

  “Can’t I come say hello to my girls?”

  I tilt my face up and catch her shaking her head at me.

  “How do you know it’s not boys?”

  “You never had morning sickness.”

  She laughs at me, as she often does these days.

  “And what is that supposed to mean?”

  I shrug and get to my feet. “I read somewhere that means it’s a girl.”

  “You know you can’t believe half of what you read on the internet, right? It’s an old wives’ tale. There’s another one that says exactly the opposite. If you really want to know we can ask when we go in for the next ultrasound.”

  She snuggles in my arms and I inhale the shampoo I massaged into her scalp this morning. If my brothers could see me—washing hair, rubbing lotion on her skin, massaging her feet when she gets home—hell, they’d never let me live it down, but I like taking care of her in any way she’ll allow.

  “Maybe not a bad idea,” I mumble in her hair. “We’ll know what color to paint the room.”

  She leans back and looks up at me suspiciously.

  “Room? What room? I thought we’d agreed we’d let it rest for a while.”

  I gently turn her to the desk and unroll the plans I’ve been drawing up.

  “What is this?”

  “It’s the A-frame. With an addition.”

  I point at the single-level add-on cutting into the slant of the roof on the west side of the existing house. I drew five different versions—all adding three bedrooms and one bath—but this one will be easiest to complete. It also leaves the option of eventually bumping up one more level should we decide we need more room.

  “Honey,” she says putting a hand on my chest. “It looks amazing, but you can’t just build on to a house we don’t even own. And I know for a fact the reason Meredith rented it out in the first place is because she’s not ready to let it go.”

  This is where I get to flash my shit-eating grin.

  Because she’s wrong.

  Sophia

  Two weeks later.

  “I still can’t believe this.”

  I’m sitting on the back deck with Meredith, watching her dog, Beau, romping around with Van Gogh. The boys—Tse, Jay, and Ravi, who spends quite a bit of time here—are cooking today. Most of it is being done on the big new grill Tse came home with a few weeks ago, thank God. But to be on the safe side I hid some frozen pizzas in the bottom of the freezer yesterday. Tse does not have a great track record in the kitchen.

  Fortunately, according to Meredith, Jay is pretty handy with the grill so I’ve been able to relax and get to know her a little better.

  We signed the paperwork on the house four days ago and on Monday construction on the addition will start. Tse is determined to have everything done before Christmas so we can have my family over. I’m still walking on clouds.

  Meredith chuckles.

  “You say that now, but you may get sick of finding me on your deck.”

  That had been her only request when she agreed to sell us her house; she could pop in on occasion to sit on the deck when she had a craving for the peaceful mountains.

  “Doubtful.” I put a hand on my blossoming baby bump. “I look forward to it and once these two are here, I imagine I’d enjoy some adult company even more.”

  The house is ours. Both our names are on the deed, something Tse surprised me by insisting on, even though three-quarters of the funds came from him.

  “Sorry to be nosy, but are you planning for a big family?” she asks. “I couldn’t help notice the three additional bedrooms with the option for further expansion.”

  “No plans.” At least not on my part, I’m not sure how I’ll manage with the two; I haven’t dared think that far ahead. “But I do have family we’d like to have room for when they visit. In fact, one of my nieces was supposed to come this summer, but the circumstances were never right.”

  “And the boy?”

  “Ravi?” I look over at him.

  He’s starting to fill out a little and his voice seems to have settled on a lower octave. He even smiles more these days. I’m not sure if he ever talked to Tse—that’s between them—but it wouldn’t surprise me. Ravi is much more at ease with both of us.

  “Yeah. I was just wondering, not that it’s any of my business, but he seems to fit in well.”

  I press my lips together to prevent myself from smiling too big.

  The truth is, Tse and I were just talking about the possibility of Ravi moving here with us, once the addition is done, just a few days ago. Tse brought it up and didn’t have to sell me on the idea. Both of them deserve a loving family after having the start in life they did.

  Over the summer I’ve grown to love the kid and, eventually, once the babies are here and we’ve all had a chance to get used to each other, I’d like to look into the possibility of adopting him. Only if he wants that too, though.

  “He does,” I admit, looking over at the men and noticing Van hovering around, waiting for scraps to fall. “Even the dog is more loyal to him than he is to either one of us.”

  Suddenly the dog’s single ear perks up, he barks, and then he takes off running around the side of the house. Ravi runs after him, trying to call him back.

  Tse looks over at me.

  “Were you expecting anyone else?”

  I shake my head and get to my feet.

  “Would you excuse me?” I tell Meredith, but before I can take a step I hear a voice.

  “Surprise! Look at you! I swear you’ve grown a foot!”

  My groan is apparently loud enough for Meredith to hear and she promptly starts laughing.

  “Nothing like unexpected visitors.”

  I bulge my eyes at her.

  “You don’t even know the half of it.”

  Blossom comes sailing around the side of the house, scarves billowing in her wake, almost obscuring my father with his arm around Ravi, who follow behind her. She hugs and kisses Tse, who is used to her exuberance, but then she turns to Jay, who appears to freeze when she opens her arms to him as well.

  Beside me Meredith can’t seem to stop laughing, and I’m mortified watching my mother ignore every physical stop sign Jay is throwing off as she wraps him in a one-sided hug.

  “Blossom! Please don’t manhandle my guests!” I cry out.

  “Chill, baby-girl!” she yells back. “The man clearly needed a hug.”

  I quickly make introductions, hoping to spare Meredith from my mother’s assault, but to no avail. Once Blossom is on a roll…

  I can feel my blood pressure rising—once again my folks arrive unannounced—but when I look over at Tse with his arm hooked around Ravi’s neck, both of them grinning wide, the roaring in my ears dims. Tse glances over and winks at me, and I can’t help but smile too.

  To my surprise, Meredith and my mother hit it off. They apparently have an interest in organic living in common, and Meredith doesn’t seem to mind when Blossom probes her for gory stories related to her job. Hardly appropriate dinner conversation. That doesn’t seem to bother Ravi, who has made his way over to our little group and seems equally fascinated with the morbid details.

  Duff is keeping the men company, discussing the merits of grilling with the lid open or closed. Despite the conflicting opinions, the food gets cooked and we’re able to sit down for dinner.

  We sit at the old picnic table I picked up for a steal a while
back and spruced up. Tse had called it scrap wood, but I loved the way previous users had carved initials and names into the weathered boards. By the time I had lightly sanded it down, preserving as much of its carved history as I could, and given it a couple of clear coats of polyurethane, even he had to admit it looked good.

  The night is beautiful and Meredith and Jay stay long enough to enjoy the fire Ravi builds us, until I start nodding off on Tse’s lap. Suddenly everyone gets up at the same time and within ten minutes the house is empty, except for Ravi, who opted to crash on the couch when Tse offered.

  Tse grabs a pillow and some sheets for the kid while I head upstairs and get ready for bed.

  “That was a good night,” Tse rumbles when he crawls into bed behind me.

  His body curves protectively against my back and one of his big hands immediately finds my belly. This has become our new way to sleep, now that the baby bump is getting in the way.

  “It was,” I mumble, feeling his lips on my neck.

  I cover his hand on my stomach with my own and snuggle a little farther back. I’m already drifting off when I hear him whisper.

  “Best thing that ever happened to me.”

  EPILOGUE

  Tse

  January.

  “WHERE IS SOPHIA?”

  I watch Mel Morgan—a lawyer the club sometimes uses when dealing with Child Protective Services—walk toward me. A stunning woman, with long silver hair, a do-not-give-a-shit-what-anyone-thinks attitude, and tough as nails. She also dresses like a recalcitrant teenager, in ripped jeans, old concert T-shirt, worn hoodie, and Chucks on her feet. The latter only because it’s cold as fuck outside, otherwise she’d be in bare feet or wearing flip-flops.

  Mel’s daughter, Lindsey—also her legal assistant—is more appropriately dressed for a law office. I’m pretty sure Mel must’ve had her when she was still a kid herself, seeing as Lindsey is probably mid to late twenties and Mel can’t be a whole lot older than me.

  She may not look the part, but she is sharp as a tack and is helping us get guardianship of Ravi. We’d initially planned to wait until after the house was finished, but with Sophia now ordered on bed rest—the result of high blood pressure—and more early snow than normal, work on the house has slowed down. Unless I can convince her to stay at the clubhouse for a bit so she’s looked after while we finish it, I’m not sure when it’ll get done.