I shook my head to clear it. Shit, that wasn’t supposed to happen. My mind flew back to yesterday, the wedding and reception. I’d had butterflies in my stomach the entire time as my eyes continuously found themselves drawn to him. Goodness I used to dream about this day, but it wouldn’t be Lucifer and Abbie, but he and I. I remember the dance that led to us in these sheets. His whispered words on the way home… my body shivered.
I slipped out of his hold and tip toed to the room I was currently staying in, the one I should’ve slept in last night. I hopped in the shower and dressed quickly before slipping out of the house. I wasn’t ready to face him yet, so I headed down to the clubhouse. It was early, so it was quiet. I could imagine that everyone had a late night at the reception although we skipped out early.
None of the club bitches were invited. Only old ladies and patched in members. The day was too important to just have anyone there. So, when I went to the kitchen to make coffee and saw it was currently being occupied by Betty and Pearl, I groaned. Just great.
“How was your party last night?” Pearl asked snidely.
I rolled my eyes at her. You see, she was a girl who Lucifer, the Prez, used to sleep with a lot before he met the love of his life – and my best friend – Abelie. She’s just a jealous asshole. “Mad you weren’t invited?” I asked back.
She tossed her hair. “Oh please… I wouldn’t attend anything that had anything to do with that bitch. He’ll get tired of her, you’ll see.” Yea, she was fucking delusional.
I decided to just ignore her. “Yea, sure… hold your breath on that.”
I filled a mug and found myself walking over to Bull’s room to watch TV. His was bigger than mine.
When I opened the door, my mouth dropped open not that I should be surprised really. “Finally … I thought you were never going to show. I needed you bad last night…” Nikki was lying on his bed, naked, playing with herself with her eyes closed.
I cleared my throat. “Nikki…” I said trying to get her attention.
Her eyes snapped open, but she didn’t bother to try to cover herself. “Ugh, do you know where Bull is?” she asked sitting up.
“He’s home.” I informed her. I no longer wanted to be in his room after that sight. She shrugged and sat up pulling on her clothes.
I turned around and instead headed to my room. It wasn’t long until my phone rang. “Where are you?” Bull asked before I could even say hello.
“At the club…” I said.
“Well, you forgot we’re supposed to be helping with the move today?” he asked.
Shit I had forgotten. I was so hell bent on getting away from Bull that didn’t even cross my mind. “No.” I lied. “I’m heading back that way now.” I told him.
“Ok, I’ll meet you at your place. I’m heading over now.” The phone disconnected before I could respond. I so wasn’t ready to see him again.
I took my time getting back to my place. Abelie had gotten pregnant with Lucifer’s baby unexpectedly. They went through some rough patch, where he was a downright prick and was keeping her holed up in the clubhouse. When he couldn’t or better yet wouldn’t offer her more, she needed out. So, I welcomed myself into Bull’s house and gave up mine.
When Bull had dragged me out of the strip club that I was working at when I was 24 years old he changed my life. That was only three and a half years ago. He’d tossed me onto his bike and brought me directly to the clubhouse. He’d settled me into the room that is now considered ‘mine’ the only other woman besides Abelie that has a room in this place that’s all her own… even the old ladies didn’t have one. It’s was more, they shared the room with their men. Anyway, the next day he’d come back with bags and bags of clothes, shoes, toiletries… everything a girl needed and more. For the first two weeks I was moving on autopilot. Things were moving so fast, and were a vast difference from the life I knew.
It wasn’t until he had me in my house and was giving me a key and explaining that I needed to pick out furniture for him to buy before I snapped into it. After that, I spent two weeks straight in a nonstop battle with Bull about him doing all of this for me. I mean, he hadn’t been in my life for almost ten years. I’d admit, I needed the help… but I was too fucking proud. And to make everything worse, I was jealous. Yes, he left me, and he found a home. He had money; he had a family, people who cared for him… and me? I was a fucking charity case. A person he felt obligated to help out of guilt. For what? Probably many things. Seeing that I didn’t become much of anything, that I didn’t have anything, that I didn’t have anyone. That he’d left me possibly? Who the fuck knew, but my pride was a strong ass bitch.
It took a lot of threats and strong arming before I calmed the fuck down and made an agreement with him. I had confessed to him during one of my fits of rage while trying to prove how much I really didn’t need his help, that I was saving up – slowly, sure – to get me an education. I would at least get my GED to get a better job to pay for college. Even a two-year degree, I would be happy. That’s how he got me. He dangled my dream in front of my eyes and I bit that fucking apple like Eve. His argument became, I take what he was offering… let him take care of me, protect me, help me while I at least got my GED and then he’d let me back out of my life. Lucifer, being the fucking best friend to Bull that he is, backed him up and was able to calm me down and talk to me enough to see reason. I know right, who would’ve thought him of all people? I mean, I know it was all done for Bull’s benefit, so I didn’t get all fuzzy inside.
That was a no brainer. With this came whatever tutoring I might need or books and prep. Seven months later, I was officially the proud recipient of a General Equivalency Diploma. I told Bull once I’d received it in the mail, that within two months I would be gone. Guess what he did? That’s right… said it would make much more sense to continue to live in between the house that was fully paid for and the club while I took college classes. That way I could get into school sooner because I’d be able to use all the money I earn – yea, with the job I was still trying to get by putting in my application at every location – to pay for school.
When I earned a little bit of cash and figured I could get some student loans, I would be able to start. Bull had wrangled out the school I was accepted into and when I went into the school to see about financial aid and such, my tuition for the entire semester was already paid in full. I started to say to hell with it because of his sneakiness… but I couldn’t throw it away. First, it was stupid to waste the money. Second, who the fuck else would accept me? So, he won round two.
After my first year of college, I was home. I loved the club, and all the guys. It had become my life, they treated me like family. Well, to them I was any family of Bulls and all that shit. I had no intention of leaving and at that point, I’d gotten my Jackson back. It wasn’t hard to fall back into exactly where I was when I was 15 years old and madly in love. It was like no time had passed at all. Like all the darkness and emptiness never even occurred, although I could never forget it. With him, I was whole again, and I couldn’t see myself going back to anything or anyone else. Even if I couldn’t have him – which I wasn’t delusional anymore to think I could – there would never be anyone else. I however didn’t let Bull live it down until after I graduated, and he didn’t have anything else to dangle in front of me. I made him squirm for a good three months. He hounded me the entire time, always had someone’s eyes on me making sure that I didn’t leave. It was fun, I kept dropping hints that any day now I would be gone, and he was a fucking nervous lunatic. Eventually though, I’d confessed that I wasn’t going to leave him. He was so relieved, and I was so… hurt by it surprisingly. He wasn’t happy that the love of his life was staying in his life, he was ecstatic he wasn’t losing his sister again.
Right… punch right to the fucking gut. When I said any family of Bull… yea, it was like I was a younger sibling that needed watching over. Fuck. My. Life. Then watching him with the bitches, it used to shred me apart. E
ventually though, it didn’t faze me anymore. There really wasn’t anything to be jealous about. He literally had no emotional connection with any female… ever. He was just getting his rocks off, and I can say that me being in love with him and all, I would way prefer he’d have meaningless sex with everyone else. Sure, go ahead and cringe. I sure as fuck do when I think about the couple of times I caved. Fucked up part? He doesn’t even know he’s my first… well my first willingly. I wasn’t a technical virgin, so he has no idea I’d never had sex before him. And fuck me sideways but I sure as fuck all don’t consider what those sick motha fuckers did to me sex.
Chapter 2
“Nettie, would you quit your shit? You should just stay here with me and let James stay at your place. You know both you and Abee want him close, it just makes sense. Plus, you see that fucking dump he’s in and he refuses to move to the club. Lucifer is about to lose his shit because Abee won’t let the shit go.” Bull argued.
He had a point and I knew it. I mean, under any other circumstance I would hop all over it, but after living with Bull for so long my feelings were eating me alive. “I don’t know, don’t you want your space?” I tried.
He frowned. “What are you talking about? I have no problem with you being here Nat…” he trailed off giving me a thoughtful look. “Do you just not want to stay with me?” he asked.
I couldn’t help but fidget when he hit the nail right on the fucking head. “I mean…” was all I could get out. I was stuck not knowing what else I could say.
His head jerked back, and his eyes flashed with hurt. Shit. “Wow.” Was all he said, and he turned to look out the living room window. When he turned back to me, his face was neutral, devoid of any emotion except for his eyes. They were pissed. “Ok, then why don’t you move back and room with him.” he suggested emotionless although I knew that was all fake.
I thought about it. James is into the dating scene and has been seeing people. Staying with him wouldn’t be ideal for me… I mean, I would rather not be front row center to his rendezvous that he usually fills us in on in way too much fucking detail. Most of all, I hated that I hurt Bull and that hurt me worse. I shook my head, “no… no. I’ll stay here with you and let James take my place.” I offered him a smile. “You’re a way better roomie.”
He eyed me skeptically. “Are you sure?” he asked, clearly not believing me.
I nodded. “Oh yea. I just wanted to give you the option if you wanted it.” I half lied.
He didn’t look convinced, but he accepted it. “Fine.” He turned and began walking towards the kitchen. I couldn’t help but checking out his ass, the man was only wearing boxers.
It was only ten in the morning and we’d just gotten up. As soon as he saw me, he broached the subject. I was supposed to move in today. We’d spent the last two weeks helping Lucifer and Abee getting settled into their new place either by going over there to help move and put things away or babysitting my Goddaughter Jianna. We were supposed to start getting me setup back into my place when last week, Abee and I had the idea of moving James over into the neighborhood.
Maybe I forgot to mention that when Bull bought me a home, he’d gotten me one on his block… a couple of houses down. Lucifer purchased the empty space next to my home and built their dream home. James was the missing part of our trio… he was by far the girl out of all of us girls and he was also Jianna’s other self-proclaimed Godmother. He was a mess, but you had to love that man. I was so happy that Abee had him when she was away hiding out from Lucifer. He’d come into my life only recently… but he was a blessing to the group.
I watched as Bull took out a pan and place it on the stovetop and I felt the blood drain from my face. A couple of months ago, he’d decided that he was going to make breakfast. Eggs and toast. I mean, it’s not really that hard. He’d watched us all make them so many times he thought he had it. This bastard almost burned down the kitchen.
With that memory and me not having the desire to smell smoke and burn for the next week I ran to his side pushing him away from all kitchen appliances. “If you touch the stove I swear to fuck I will kick your ass.” I threatened.
He laughed. “Babe, I got this. I been practicing and shit at the club. Have a little faith in me.”
I crossed my arms and arched an eyebrow. “You don’t say…” I said dryly.
He laughed. “You don’t trust me?” he asked throwing a hand over his heart feigning hurt.
I scoffed. “Fuck no. I’d let Pearl lick my ass before I consciously let you cook.”
His face turned to one of disgust. “That’s just fucking nasty.”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh, fuck off. She’s only nasty now cause of Abee. I know you fucked her before… ya dick fall off?” I asked giving him my best curious stare.
He flipped me off and walked over to take a seat at the kitchen bar. “If you wanted to feed me babe, that’s all you had to fucking say… now get on with it. I’m fuckin’ starved bitch.”
I threw a dish rag at his head that he caught laughing. “I don’t want to feed you, but I’m hungry so you’re lucky.”
I went into the fridge and bent down to grab the eggs off the bottom shelf. I heard his wolf whistle. “Fuck Net, I’m getting hard. You look like fucking heaven bent over like that…”
I rolled my eyes and ignored him. He was going to spend the entire time hounding me trying to get a rise. It was like his favorite pastime. The more I ignored him, the harder he tried… which for me meant the dumber and funnier he became.
We relaxed and enjoyed breakfast. When we were done, I expected him to get up and get ready to head for the club, but he didn’t. He continued to sit with me at the table watching me as I finished eating. “What?” I finally asked.
He shrugged. “Nothing.” He stayed silent for a full minute before speaking again. “I’m just happy you decided to stay here with me is all. I would’ve missed you.” He bit the inside of his cheek before continuing. “I got used to you being here, with me. I like it, I didn’t… don’t want you to go.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. I felt the heat rising in my cheeks from my blush, so I ducked my head and had to bite my lip to keep from letting out a goofy smile. He had his random moments, but I loved when he was like this. Like my Jackson who was always looking out for me and sweet. Bull had grown up; he wasn’t all hugs and kisses anymore like he used to be. He was a lot harder and rougher; the streets did that to him. But that’s how he needed to be to survive. But times like this, remind me of when we were eight years old and he would open up his arms to let me cuddle into him and he’d hold me through the night as we slept.
Finally, I decided to throw him a bone. “I’m happy to stay with you. I like being here too.” Much more than you know.
He tapped the table twice with his fingers in acknowledgement before standing. “I’m heading over to the club. What you got going on today babe?” he asked.
I shrugged. “Nothing much. I’m going to meet up with James and Abee for lunch. Lucifer is babysitting and then I might head over there afterwards.”
He nodded. “Alright, see you later then.” He leaned over and pressed a kiss to my forehead. Every time he did it, I felt butterflies. It’s more of a sister type goodbye but I like to pretend in my mind that it meant more. I’m used to it now, that I don’t blush scarlet anymore when he does it – thank God.
I cleaned up the kitchen and then hopped in the shower and got myself ready before walking over to Abee’s. When I got there, I swooped up Jianna and took her into the living room, so we can have some bonding time, so I can give her parents a couple of hours to have some quality time. When they finally emerged, I even blushed at how relaxed and flushed Abee looked from when I had initially got there.
By the time we reached the restaurant, I was famished. The two slices of bacon and eggs that I had for breakfast were barely holding me up and thankfully James was already there with a table secured. When we reached him, I wrapped him into a tight hug, �
��you are a God!” I breathed.
He laughed “Oh honey, what the hell has gotten into you?” he asked amused.
I laughed as I sat down. “I am so damn hungry right now and I was worried we’d have to wait for a table.” I confessed.
He rolled his eyes laughing. “Girl, you have got to watch it if you wanna keep that blonde-haired Adonis all over you.” He stated waggling his eyebrows.
I blushed. “What the fuck are you talking about?” I asked feigning ignorance.
Abee gave me a knowing look with a smile while James just looked at me smugly. “We doing this honey?” he asked.
I rolled my eyes. “Doing what?” I challenged.
Abee chimed in. “Oh, you know what.” Abee has been onto me for ages. She never dropped the topic of Bull and I being together. She saw what it seemed like no one else could… but then again what kind of best friend would she be if she didn’t?
“You’re not still on this? I told you there’s no chance in Hades of me and Bull being anything. Fuck girl, the closest that man is getting to a relationship is fucking a club whore for longer than two hours before switching bitches.” We all laughed.
James’ little know it all ass wouldn’t let it be though. Why the fuck do people ask for gay friends? These bastards prey on the weak and suck all of the honesty out of you. I however am determined to stay strong. “You mean to tell me… that you’re shacking up with that God created sexually arousing, leather clad – “
I cut him off, I couldn’t take anymore. “Get to the fucking point drama queen.”
He chuckled. “What I’m saying is… no way in hell you ain’t tapping that.”
Abee blushed and I had to fight hard to hide mine. “I am not fucking Bull.”
He gave me a challenging look and I met his gaze head on. Yea we slept together before, but we weren’t sleeping together. I had a serious poker face – unless it came to Bull… Only when I’m telling the truth. After a beat his eyebrows flew up in surprise.
Natalia (Hades Riders MC Book 3) Page 2