When You Kiss Me (Maine Sullivans) (The Sullivans Book 21)

by Bella Andre

  “Dad said the same thing,” Lola murmured, almost to herself.

  “Then go find Duncan and ask what happened between him and Moira,” Ashley encouraged her. “And most of all, trust your heart. It’s not going to let you down, Lola. I’m positive it won’t.” Ashley gave her a warm and loving smile. A smile that said she would always be there for her sister, no matter what. “You’re magnificent, especially on the inside. If men have only ever seen your outer beauty, it’s their fault, not yours. One day, you’re going to meet a man who will see how beautiful you are in every way. In fact,” she added in a soft voice, “there’s a part of me that can’t help but wonder if you already have.”

  Overcome with emotion, Lola held tight to her sister’s hands as she said, “You’re right. I need to know exactly what happened. I need to stop trying to act like I don’t care.”

  “Text me or call me if you need anything.”

  But Lola was afraid that the only person capable of giving her what she needed was Duncan.

  Only, could she ever trust him enough to let him?

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Lola found Duncan standing behind the seawall, watching a cruise ship sail out to sea. Mothers chatted nearby while their children giggled and blew bubbles into the sky. Dogs snuffled along the ground. And tourists holding ice cream cones marveled aloud at the beauty of the Bar Harbor waterfront.

  But Duncan didn’t seem to hear or see any of it. He looked as though he had the weight of the world on his shoulders and a dark cloud hanging over him.

  Despite the warnings she’d given herself to keep her heart safe from him, Lola wished she could take his burdens, his sorrows, away.

  “Tell me,” she said as she moved into place beside him. “Tell me what happened. Tell me all of it, from the beginning.”

  She kept her gaze firmly trained on the water, but it didn’t matter that she hadn’t let herself look into his eyes. Seeking him out and asking to hear his story instantly shifted their dynamic and made the walls she had constructed around her heart crack even deeper.

  He was silent for a long moment. Finally, he said, “It was always understood that I would work with Alastair once I graduated with my MBA. But that didn’t make me love maps or atlases any less, or stop me from dreaming about the adventures I wanted to have. What I’ve always loved most about maps was how looking at them made me feel I would one day find my way to a safe, steady, happy place. To the kind of place I had always dreamed of. With you, I thought I’d finally found that place.”

  She couldn’t stop herself from turning to look at him then. His expression was as ravaged as her heart felt.

  “But that’s not what you asked, is it? You want to know how I could have hurt your friend so badly.” He ran a hand through his dark hair, leaving it standing on end. “My thirteenth birthday present from my brother was the book The Art of War. I thought it was a joke at first, that Alastair was messing with me because he knew I really wanted an illustrated atlas. But it wasn’t a joke. Nothing was after that. He had recently taken over our father’s company, and overnight he lost his sense of humor. He was all about business and power suits and drinks with the board. Instead of throwing a ball around the way we used to, he drilled me on negotiating strategy and structures of worldwide financial markets.”

  “Your brother quizzed you on finances when you were thirteen?”

  “Our house never had that many games in it, even before our parents passed away. Our father believed they were a waste of time, and though Alastair used to sneak in balls and cards before they died, a few years later he obviously agreed that our father was right. But games weren’t the only thing not permitted—” He abruptly stopped speaking. “I’m getting off track again.”

  “Whatever you have to say to me about your past,” she told him, “I want to hear.”

  “You don’t owe me this, Lola. You don’t owe me anything.”

  “I still want to hear what you have to say.” Because Ashley was right that Lola owed it to herself to find out if her instincts about Duncan’s being a good guy had been wrong. Or…if there was a chance that her instincts might have been right all along. “What else were you not allowed to have?”

  He went still. So still that even his hair barely seemed to move in the breeze. “Affection.” Her heart broke for him as he explained, “For the first six years of my life, though my parents were barely there, at least I had my brother. And for a handful of years after they died, he was also there for me as a confidant, a father even. But once I turned thirteen, he became a drill sergeant more than a brother, unless I did something to please him—ranked first in my class, or outwitted a fellow student at school, or won a trophy. Everything I did, everything I worked for, was motivated by those moments when he was momentarily my brother again and we were laughing together, the two of us against the world.” He drew in a ragged breath. “I shouldn’t complain. I had everything I needed. A warm bed, and enough to eat, and a great education.”

  “But you didn’t have the unconditional love you deserved.” Lola’s voice was gentle. “We can have all the food and shelter and education in the world, but we still need love to carry us through the good and the bad times.” She had never taken the love of her family for granted, but now she was more grateful for it than ever.

  Duncan was holding himself so rigidly beside her that she wanted to put a hand over his to let him know that it was okay, that she wouldn’t harm him regardless of what he told her about himself. But though her fingers itched to move toward his, she reminded herself that it would be crazy to let down her guard again so soon, especially when she was still trying to piece everything together to make sense of it.

  “You’re right,” he agreed. “There was no unconditional love in our house. It took me far too long to realize that, though. I was smart enough to get into Harvard and Wharton for business school, but I wasn’t smart enough to realize what love truly was.”

  She wanted to tell him that emotions had nothing to do with smarts, especially when his brother had disguised blind loyalty and quests for praise as love. Instead, she said, “What happened when you went to work with him?”

  “I started out in the mail room. It was a much lower position than anyone else with an MBA, but I wanted to show Alastair that his faith in me wasn’t misplaced. I worked every hour possible and deliberately worked in so many different departments that I started to see not everything at the company was perfect. Projects weren’t always done to code, and the numbers on the spreadsheets didn’t always add up. My brother was never concerned, though. He always had a reason, a justification that I could tell myself made sense. Somewhere in the back of my brain, though, I must have known that if one card started to fall, all of them would. And that it wouldn’t just be the business that would be destroyed—it would be my relationship with him. Until…” He blew out a ragged breath. “Until I couldn’t ignore the signs anymore.”

  “Was this when you started looking into Brilliant Funds?”

  He nodded. “Five years ago, the startup incubator was abruptly shuttered. Alastair had made it clear that this was his pet project, but something didn’t seem right, even though everyone had written it off as nothing more than bad luck during a period of economic uncertainty. This time, instead of taking my questions and suspicions to Alastair, I decided to investigate on my own.” The cloud over Duncan seemed to grow even darker. “I discovered our charitable foundation was a front to hide the money being embezzled from the Brilliant Funds partner companies.” His voice sounded hollow as he told her, “Realizing how wrong I’d been about Alastair all those years was brutal. I hadn’t just looked up to my brother. I’d idolized him for the way he’d stepped in to be a father to me. Only to find out that he had been defrauding our clients and lying to me for years.”

  “I can’t imagine how difficult that must have been for you.”

  His eyes were bleak as he turned to face her. “I tried to take solace in knowing that he wouldn’t g
et away with hurting anyone else once I exposed his crimes. I also planned to make things right with the people whose businesses he’d destroyed. I found a lawyer, one I carefully verified wasn’t connected to Alastair. But my brother’s reach was even longer than I had imagined. Long enough that by the time I returned home from the law office, every corporate document in my possession—both virtual and paper—had been destroyed. My papers were shredded, my computer hard drives were smashed, and my company-issued phone and online backups had been remotely wiped.”

  “My God.” Lola couldn’t imagine being related to someone who could do that.

  “I immediately went to confront him,” Duncan continued. “And do you want to know the truth?”

  “Yes. The truth is all I’ve ever wanted.”

  Regret was etched in the lines of his face as he said, “I’m sorry, Lola. So damned sorry for everything. You’re the very last person I ever wanted to hurt.”

  Though her heart was breaking for all he’d endured, she still wasn’t sure she was ready to forgive him for saying he loved her and then keeping so much from her. So instead of responding to his apology, she said, “What happened when you confronted him?”

  “I thought he’d be upset. Scared, even. But it was the exact opposite. He was pleased that I finally knew the truth about him.”

  Though plenty of Duncan’s story had shocked—and saddened—her, this took the cake. “Why do you think he reacted that way?”

  “Maybe he was pleased that he’d raised me to be clever enough to see through his schemes when no one else did. Or maybe he relished the chance to show me that he would always be the victor, no matter what.” Duncan stared out at the water as though the answer could be found in the rolling sea. “Whatever was really going on beneath his surface, he told me he was doing exactly what our father would have wanted him to do.”

  “Your father told him to embezzle from his clients, then lash out at his brother when his crimes were discovered?”

  “The names Alastair and Duncan both mean warrior,” Duncan explained. “From the day we were born, Alastair claims our father intended for us to head into battle—and to win every time. It didn’t matter whether it was on the sports field, or in the classroom, or in the boardroom. Destroying the competition by any means necessary was the family brief. I was too young when he passed away to know whether Alastair was embellishing for impact, or if those actually were our father’s intentions.” Either way, Duncan looked utterly disgusted. “As of that day, the relationship we’d once had was forever lost.”

  “That must have been devastating.”

  Though he shrugged, it was clear how deeply losing the brother he’d once idolized had affected him. “He made sure I didn’t have enough evidence to prove what he had done, and though I still planned to go to the FBI at that point, I soon realized that without hard facts to present to them, not only would they not believe a word I said, my brother would surely find a way to pin the crimes on me. If I went to jail, I wouldn’t be able to undo the damage to the companies that had signed up with the fund. So instead of turning Alastair in, I did whatever I could to help all of them. Only Moira’s name and contact information eluded me. You don’t know how many times I wished I had done more than just sign off on the initial paperwork for Brilliant Funds, so that I could have found her and helped turn her business around.” The chatter and laughter and smells of ice cream and lobster rolls continued all around them as he told Lola, “My explanations don’t make me any less responsible for what happened to Moira, but I hope you’ll at least believe I never intended to hurt her, or anyone else.”

  Looking into his eyes, she knew without a doubt that he had finally given her the full truth. “Why didn’t you tell me all of this that night we stayed up together? You knew I was—” Her chest hurt as she decided to be just as honest with him. “You knew I was falling in love with you. How could you keep this from me?”

  “I thought you couldn’t possibly love me if you knew.”

  “Do you really think that little of me?” A fresh flush of anger ran through her. “I thought you were different, that you weren’t like all the other guys who assume I don’t have a brain, who think I’m not capable of analyzing information and coming to my own conclusions. I thought you knew that I’m capable of separating right from wrong.”

  “I’ve always known how brilliant and talented and strong you are, Lola. Always. I’m the one who should have been able to analyze my brother’s behavior more quickly and seen him for who he really is, rather than staying blind to his faults.”

  Though she was still deeply conflicted over her feelings for Duncan, that didn’t mean she could let him continue to tear himself apart over what had happened with Brilliant Funds. “He’s your brother. Of course you wanted to believe in him. If I suspected one of my brothers or sisters was responsible for defrauding people, I wouldn’t want to believe it either. Heck, I would hands-down refuse to believe it. Anyone who loves their brother or sister would.”

  But he obviously wasn’t ready to be let off the hook. “I can’t fix my past actions, but I can make sure Alastair doesn’t hurt anyone else. Especially you, Lola.”

  For a moment, he looked like he was about to brush aside a lock of her hair that had blown in front of her eyes. She held her breath, waiting for him to reach for her.

  When he didn’t, she was more disappointed than she wanted to admit.

  “Why would your brother come after me?” she asked. “I’ve never even met him.”

  “A man who works for Alastair—one of his over-muscled goons that he likes to use as an unspoken threat to his opponents—came to my office on Friday, right when I was about to head to the airport to see you in Bar Harbor, with an offer from my brother to acquire my company.”

  “You would never sell your company to him!”

  “No, I wouldn’t, which I made perfectly clear. Unfortunately, the man also came to Serafina’s fashion show and he saw us together. When I realized that you could become a target due to your association with me, I knew it was finally time to pay a visit to Alastair to inform him in person that I won’t tolerate his presence in any part of my life. That was when he showed up out of the blue on my doorstep, saying he wanted to sit down and resolve our ‘misunderstandings.’ But the truth is that he doesn’t have one single stitch of remorse or regret for what he’s done. All he really wanted was to make sure I knew he won’t be swayed from his plans to take over my company. And that he’ll stop at nothing to get it.”

  “Losing your parents, and then being betrayed by your brother…I wish…” Her chest clenched tight, aching for him. “I wish you could have been spared all of it.”

  But Duncan didn’t so much as nod, and he certainly wasn’t wallowing in self-pity. If anything, his anger was directed at himself. “After everything that’s happened, Alastair still believes I’m going to come back, that it’s just a matter of time until I see that he’s right. The last thing he expects is for me to risk everything—including a jail term for myself—to go after him. But now that you’re involved, none of the risks to my reputation, to my business, to my personal life, matter anymore. All that matters is making sure he doesn’t hurt you.” He blew out a harsh breath. “If only I had dealt with him five years ago.”

  “What if you needed to wait until you had the right team in place, rather than trying to take him on all on your own?” It was difficult for Lola to speak past the ache in her chest. She was utterly overwhelmed by just how much she meant to Duncan. Enough to risk, and to lose, absolutely everything. “What if all of this—your coming to Bar Harbor, the two of us connecting, Moira seeing you at my parents’ house—is what will finally lead you to that safe, steady, happy place you’ve always dreamed of?”

  “If I were ever to be that lucky…” But then he shook his head. “I can’t imagine finding anyone who would willingly join my team knowing that Alastair will use every weapon in his arsenal to destroy them. I’m not exaggerating when I say that
my brother will stop at nothing to make sure he remains on top. He thinks the best way to destroy me is to hurt you. But that’s where he’s wrong.” Duncan’s voice was fierce. “I would never let anything happen to you. Never.”

  “My family will help.” She didn’t need to stop to think it over. “We’ll be your team.”

  Duncan looked stunned by her offer. A moment later, however, he said, “I can’t let you or your family get involved. Not when I know what Alastair will try to do to all of you.”

  But she was just as focused and determined. “Trust me, as soon as my family hears your story—particularly given that they all know and love Moira—they’ll insist on helping. My cousin Rafe in Seattle is a private investigator who is absolutely brilliant at ferreting out information about people’s wrongdoings they’ve tried to bury. And his brother Ian is a billionaire businessman who likely knows people who work with or have worked with your brother.”

  “I’ve never worked directly with Ian Sullivan, but I certainly know of him,” Duncan confirmed. “Anybody in venture capital would.”

  “I’m sure my cousin Suzanne, who founded and runs Sullivan Security in New York City, would also be more than happy to get involved.”

  “Your cousin is Suzanne Sullivan? I use her digital security products in my office.”

  “She’s a genius,” Lola agreed. “So is my cousin Sophie in San Francisco. She’s a librarian and is an absolute wiz at finding the most obscure resources and references. You’ve probably heard of her husband’s company, McCann’s Irish Pubs.” Lola knew she was dropping a lot of extended-family information on Duncan all at once, but she needed him to understand the breadth of skill and talent that the Sullivans brought to the table. “And then there’s my cousin Malcolm in London. I’ll admit I don’t know exactly what he does, but from all accounts, he’s pretty highflying.”