by Alie Garnett
“A surgeon, actually. I sewed up Holden’s back before he came home.”
“Thank you for that, and his leg. He said you fixed that also.”
“Yes, but that was minor.” If it hadn’t been for his leg wound, however, Tim wouldn’t be there now.
“It could have been worse, and later on, it was. His back was bad when he got here. They should have kept him longer, I told him that.”
“He had no say in his recovery. The doctor treating him must have thought that he was well enough to go home to parents who could help him recover. Did you help with his recovery or hinder it?” Her arms went tighter around her own son, knowing there was nothing he could do that she wouldn’t help him with in any way possible.
“I did everything they told me to do.”
“I hope so. Holden needs support, not negative words about his life and the choices he made. He was a great soldier and when he was injured, he knew his life would never be the same. All he wanted to do was be a soldier—accept that and move on. You haven’t been able to change it in a decade, and you aren’t going to now.”
“I never tried to change his mind,” Donna argued, shaking her head.
“Just talked down about what he wanted to do and what he liked to do. Just like with Chase.”
“Chase made some bad decisions also.”
“Look, Mrs. Marquez, I am sorry I fell for your son, either of them. I didn’t really mean for it to happen this time. I mean, after Chase died, I didn’t think I would—hell, could—love anyone else. I had built walls to protect myself, but Holden somehow broke through them. For some reason, he wanted to.”
“Maybe he saw the same thing Chase did.”
“No, I think Holden sees more. Holden sees things in me I don’t see. I know I should’ve walked away the moment Tim was born. Holden would’ve raised Tim and found someone better to love. But I was selfish and stayed. I know he deserves more than me, and I’m planning on leaving soon, so he can find someone better.”
“You would just walk away from the baby?” Donna’s eyes went immediately to the baby’s back again.
“That was the plan ever since I knew I was pregnant. Holden will be a great dad, but I’m not the kind of mother Tim deserves.”
“Does Holden know?”
Dylan dropped her eyes to the floor. “Yes and no. I told him right away, but I don’t think he believes it.”
“I don’t either. You can’t just walk away.”
“It’ll be better for everyone. You don’t want me as the mother of your grandson.”
“It doesn’t matter what I want or not—you are his mother. And you always will be, whether you’re here or not.”
Dylan shot her a pointed look. “You would prefer I not be.”
“Yes, well, I admit I’m not your biggest fan. But for some reason, I have two sons who have fallen in love with you, so maybe I’m missing something. The fact that this is the longest conversation we’ve ever had says something about how little I know about you.”
“Maybe I never tried, either. It was easier to be a few states away and have Chase as our go-between, but at the time, I was still a little raw from my own parents’ negative view of me to have someone else’s do the same. Maybe if he hadn’t died, we could have become closer over the years.”
“Possibly, we’ll never know, but I’d like to try for Holden and Tim.”
“We could, but you would have to stop with the negative talk about the Army—we’re both still in it, and we’ve both spent years devoted to it. As far as I know, your husband only survived the minimum in the Navy.”
“I will if you will let us be a part of your son’s life.” She looked at Dylan with sincerity.
Dylan smiled and said, “I think we have a deal. Do you want to come inside and hold him? I’ve had to pee for an hour now.”
“I would love to.” She hurried over and held her arms out.
Tim’s eyes went wide for a second as someone else took him from his mother, then he relaxed as Dylan excused herself.
Maybe by the time she left her son behind, he would have loving grandparents to help his father as well.
Chapter 24
Other than as the mother of his baby, Dylan was sure Holden wasn’t interested in her anymore. When they had had their great romance in the desert, she had been flattered that he had focused on her. At first she had thought to herself he wasn’t interested in her, he was interested in a woman, she was that. But eventually, he made her believe that he was interested in her for herself, that she was special.
But since Tim’s birth, he had kept his distance. There were a few hugs and kisses, but rarely on the lips, and never the toe-curling, body-melting kisses she had come to expect from the man. Even in bed, the one they shared, he kept his distance.
After a month, they were just roommates with a baby. Soon, they wouldn’t even be that.
Pushing her emotions back deep inside where they belonged, she pulled out the container of formula and read it again. She’d done this over a dozen times since Donna had visited two days before, but so far, she hadn’t opened the container. She simply read how it was going to work and wondered if Tim would like it.
Holden called out from the door like he always did, and Dylan slammed the container back in the cabinet, as if catching her with it would be a bad thing. In fact, she didn’t know if he would be happy that she was gearing Tim up for her departure or mad she that was making decisions without him.
She looked at the clock as the cabinet door slammed shut and frowned. “What are you doing home so early?”
He came through the kitchen door and grinned at them. “I took off early to go look at a house, something bigger for us.”
His words made her heart do a little flip, until she realized “us” didn’t necessarily mean her, just Tim and him. “How was it?”
How could she tell him she wanted to see where their son was going to be raised? It wasn’t her place to agree or disagree, but she wanted to know where he would be sleeping and eating and playing.
“I came to get you, so we could look together,” he said. She felt his eyes on her, but she was looking at the baby—her emotions were too much today.
“You picked a good time; he just ate and is ready for an adventure.” She handed him the baby.
“Great! I was hoping it was a good time. It’s just a few miles away and shouldn’t take long. I saw that they were having an open house today, and I thought we could go take a look.” He followed her from the kitchen into the living room with Tim.
“Maybe I can take a nap while you two are gone.” She grabbed the blue blanket from the couch and folded it. It was dirty and needed to be washed, but she needed something to do.
He was bouncing Tim in his arms but stopped and looked at her. “I thought we could go together.”
“I don’t want to intrude, Captain.” Even to her, the words sounded hollow.
She saw his jaw clenching for a moment before he said, “You don’t at least want to see where he’ll be living? You don’t care?”
Her eyes pleaded with him. “Of course, I care, Holden. But it’s your decision.” A decision that said he was starting his life without her.
“Then get your coat—we’re looking at a house. Together.” His words held an edge she usually didn’t hear from him. Not once since they’d gotten back together had they fought, argued, or even really talked.
For a while, she just watched him put Tim in his car seat with ease. It was something she wasn’t overly familiar with since she rarely went anywhere. Mostly, she was too tired to even think about going places, not that she even knew where to go.
Dylan went back in the bedroom, grabbed a sweatshirt, and threw it over the T-shirt she always wore, Army-issue. For the most part, she hadn’t brought much with her since she felt like this was a mission—a mission to ensure her son was loved by his father. Though she knew Holden would love Tim until the end of time, she hated knowing she wouldn’t get to see i
t.
Dylan looked at her boots and frowned—they didn’t go with her leggings. Turning back to change into her fatigues, Holden grabbed her arm and handed her a pair of no-longer-white tennis shoes. He must’ve grabbed them that first day, and she had never noticed.
Mumbling a thanks, she slipped them on as he watched since he was already dressed and had Tim in his carrier. Once the shoes were on, he pushed her out the door and into the waiting sunshine. All the snow had vanished; even the grass had started to grow while she’d been inside spending every moment she could with her son. While she still could.
The ten-minute drive went quickly, and Tim was silent the entire time, probably excited to be in a car again. Hopefully, he was getting used to it because once she went back to work, he would be traveling a lot more.
The house that Holden had found was beautiful, it even had a picket fence out front to keep Tim from playing in the street, Holden told her. The two stories held four bedrooms and three bathrooms, way more than the two of them would need.
Inside, the entire house smelled of apple pie, of home. After slipping booties on their feet as a sign requested at the front door, Dylan started taking Tim from his chair.
“Just leave him, he’s okay in there,” Holden stated.
“All the books say to take him out,” she argued, as she always did. Books were written for a reason.
“He’s fine.”
“He’s been clingy today.” She pushed past him into the kitchen, which was all dark wood that gleamed in the sunshine.
Instantly, she could see Tim and Holden there, Tim older at the counter and Holden making something at the stove. It was the house they needed.
As the baby squirmed in her arms, she knew this was the house he would learn to walk in. He would leave from here to go to school every day, and this would be the house he would think of as home when he was an adult. Here.
“Welcome to 506 Elmwood Drive,” a voice stated from behind her.
Dylan’s breath caught in her throat. She didn’t have to turn around to know exactly who had said it. Pictures of her son’s life faded from her mind and were replaced by ones of her life.
Years of disappointment over her not making the cheer squad to her distress over not being the perfect daughter, instantly flooded her. Since the day she had arrived in town, she knew her mother now sold real estate, but she didn’t think she would be here, at the one house Holden had taken her to.
Behind her, Janet must have found Holden, who was introducing them to her. “I’m Holden Marquez, and this is Dylan, with our son, Tim.”
“I’m Jan Reed, and you guys take a look around house and see what you think,” her voice said brightly.
Turning, Dylan held her breath. It had been twenty years—was she even recognizable? Her mom certainly was. She still sported blond hair, now from a bottle like Dylan’s had been all through high school, her natural color long gone due to age. The short style suited her, though.
Though her mother looked at her, she didn’t seem to recognize her. Maybe it was due to the scar that she hadn’t had the last time they saw each other, or maybe because she was no longer built like she had been before. Though Dylan was sure she hadn’t recognized her, she could’ve picked her mother out in the middle of a busy street.
“How old is the baby?” Janet asked, her eyes on him.
Dylan held him a little closer. “A month now.”
“Fun age, exhausting but fun. My oldest is nearly forty.”
Was she really talking about me?!
“What does she do?” Dylan held her smirk, her mother had no idea. Or maybe she did.
“Army, like your husband.” Janet turned to look where she heard him wandering around the house. Dylan picked up on the fact that her mother didn’t name where, rank, or duty—the woman had no idea.
“How about your other kids?” she asked, knowing Jenna worked with her.
“My other daughter works with me, and my stepson is a police officer.” Her words stopped Dylan. Who was the stepson? When she had left, her mother had been single and had trouble trusting men after an abusive first marriage.
“I didn’t know you were married,” she said, instantly realizing her mistake. She had known about her mom’s name change before Dylan had married herself, but it had been so long ago, she had forgotten.
Thankfully, Janet didn’t notice. “Yes, for seventeen years now. He’s an amazing man.”
“I’m happy for you.” Dylan turned from her and looked out the back door at the yard. It was bigger than she’d thought it would be. Tim would love it one day.
“What’s his name?” Janet had moved closer to her.
“Tim,” she responded as Holden came back into the room.
“How about I hold Tim, and you two go check out the house together?” Janet offered and held out her arms to the baby.
Dylan turned away from her, stepping behind Holden. “No, thank you.”
There was no way she would trust that woman with her son. Once in her arms, she would probably find fault in him. Something to pick at for years until he too had no confidence in himself.
With a quick glance at the confused look on Holden’s face, she left the room and looked over the house. As she had expected, it was utterly gorgeous. Everything was perfect. Too perfect.
Though she hadn’t gone upstairs yet, she knew they’d be happy here. Holden leaned against the fireplace mantel and asked, “What do you think?”
The smile on his face indicated that he loved it and that he also knew it was perfect. It was the place he should raise their son.
“I like it.” She downplayed her love of the house, nodding slightly as she rocked Tim in her arms.
“Me too. It’s perfect.”
“Nothing is perfect, Holden. It’s just a house.”
“Do you think we should get it?” he asked.
“It’s the first one we saw! Don’t you want to look at another one?”
“Nope, this one is the one. I can feel it.” Again, it was like he had read her mind.
Janet came through the doorway and asked, “So, how do you like it?”
“It’s great. Exactly what we’re looking for,” Holden replied.
“It is a great house, isn’t it? If you're not working with an agent, I am available to look at some more with you,” Janet offered with a smile.
“I don’t know if we need to look at anymore. I have to talk to the bank and see how we’re going to swing it, but this one is perfect.”
Dylan watched her mother flinch at the word, the same way Dylan always did. Nothing was perfect. “Perfect” was the word you hid behind when your husband beat you bloody regularly. “Perfect” was how you act so your kids don’t get the same treatment, and failed
“With one child, maybe four bedrooms is too large of a house,” Janet stated, looking at Holden’s uniform and calculating how much he could possibly make. Obviously, the numbers were not adding up.
“No, I think we need the space. Tim could use two himself right now, right Dylan?” he chuckled, but neither of the women joined in.
“What she means, Holden, is that you probably cannot afford this house.” Dylan shifted Tim in her arms, he was a dead weight when he slept.
“I-I’m sure you are doing fine financially,” Janet stammered, color rising in her cheeks.
“No, you don’t. You think we’re a cute little family who can’t afford half this house. How much is it?” Dylan asked, because she hadn’t asked before. She’d been told where to live for twenty years now, and there was rarely a cost to her.
Her mother’s answer shocked her a little, mostly because Dylan really didn’t know how much houses cost. The number was actually less than she had in her bank account right now. Her reaction was clearly visible since her mother quickly added, “Don’t worry, I can find you something just as nice in your price range. Just contact the bank and see what it is. You can trust in me.”
“Why would I trust you?” Dylan
spit at her, turned, and marched past Holden who tried to grab her, but missed. Leaving the house with her son in her arms and the booties still on her feet, she couldn’t stand another moment in that house with her mother.
Stopping at the truck, she knew she looked like an idiot, but she climbed in anyway. From the front seat, she watched Janet and Holden talking on the porch. Were they talking about her? Was he telling her that she was a doctor, that they could afford the house even if it didn’t seem like it?
Years before, when she had told her mom she wanted to be a nurse, not even admitting then that she had wanted to be more than that, they’d been living in a little apartment away from the “perfect house” with all its secrets. Jenna was away with friends, like usual. She was two years younger than Dylan, but she was popular and sporty.
“So, Jess, what do you want to be when you grow up?” Her mom loved asking that question. She asked both her daughters it all the time.
“I was thinking a nurse, or maybe a doctor.” She had been taking science classes for years and loved them.
Her mom looked up from the salad she was making and tilted her head to the side, obviously confused by her answer. When it was just the two of them, her mother made salad. Dylan’s weight was always a problem. With a chuckle, Janet said, “I can’t see you as a nurse, Jess. You’re just not calm enough, and you hate blood.”
So, maybe at the time she wasn’t calm, but she was only seventeen! It was really her mother who’d hated the sight of blood—Dylan had grown used to it by growing up in a “perfect” house.
When she had told the recruiter her same dream six months later, he had her tested for medical aptitude and steered her toward being a doctor. A stranger saw that Dylan could be more than her own mother did, but then again, her mother wasn’t her biggest cheerleader, she was Jenna’s.
Holden suddenly opened her door, snapping her back to the present. He face was a mask of confusion as he took the baby from her and put his car seat in the base. Dylan just stared at the house, the house she wanted so badly, but not enough to go through her mother to get.
Holden didn’t say a word as he got into the cab and drove them back to their house. When he parked and got out, he didn’t say a word then either. Dylan watched him take the baby into the house, and her heart sunk. She knew he was pissed but wasn’t going to yell at her.