by Alie Garnett
Walking into his house, he instantly thought she had left. At first, he couldn’t see Dylan or anything she’d had with her. The crying baby was another indication that she wasn’t there.
Before he could get to the spare bedroom-turned-nursery, Dylan came out cuddling the crying baby. The sight took his breath away instantly. She was whispering promises to him as she swayed back and forth, and she was mostly naked in only a pair of white panties.
Her hair was still wet from what he assumed was a shower, and her body was nicely pink, proving it was a hot one. The baby’s dark hair was a sharp contrast to her white skin. Her eyes locked with his, but she gave no comment about mostly naked in front of him.
It had been months since he last saw her this way, close to it many times in the hospital, but that was different. Now here she was, in the place he had fantasied about her so many times. Okay, minus the baby.
“Where can I feed him?” she asked since the baby had also noticed his lunch was easily accessible and trying his damnedest to get at it before his mother was ready.
“Anywhere,” he answered. He didn’t care, as long as he got to watch.
“I need to find a spot. The books say to use the same location.” She started looking around the house. She had read two books on her phone about babies, apparently turning her into an expert. Or perhaps the books gave her the rules she had so desperately needed.
“Couch?” he offered.
“No, doesn’t feel right.”
“Bed?” He had no idea where a “good location” would be.
“No, that’ll disturb you at night.” As if seeing her feed their child wasn’t his favorite thing to watch these days.
He gestured at his favorite recliner. “Chair?”
“I don’t know about the chair.” She eyed it suspiciously as the baby found his mark.
“Well, you can’t just stand there,” he teased, then gently pushed her toward the chair. It might’ve looked worn out, but it was great.
Settling in, she adjusted the baby as if she’d been caring for him for months. Each had learned their duty and didn’t think twice about it anymore. She pulled her legs up under her as her eyes stayed on the baby. With her one-handed hold on him, she took his little hand in hers and brought it to her mouth and kissed it.
“Are you cold?” he asked. Holden couldn’t take his eyes off of her. Just when he thought he loved her, she did something totally amazing, and he loved her more.
“No, I was in the shower.” She didn’t have to say, he guessed it already.
“Feeling better?” he knew he had to stop ogling her, so he grabbed a box and opened it.
“Yes, except now I’m tired again. Or still. Or more. I thought I knew the stages of being tired, but this is a whole new level.” She kissed the little hand again.
“After he’s done, you can sleep. I’ll organize this stuff,” he said, motioning to the boxes.
“The house might be too small for all this stuff.” She looked around at it skeptically.
“We’ll squeeze as much of it in as we can. I got your stuff too. There’s room in the bedroom for it.” It was only after renting the house that he realized how little he actually owned after thirty years.
“Okay.” She burped the baby against her naked shoulder as if her stuff didn’t matter. “I called Elissa.”
“How is she? Loving being home? Did she know you were pregnant?” He had thought Dylan had cut her out already, as she did with anyone she got too close to.
“Happy still. I forgot to ask about the kids and Todd.” She put the baby on her other breast. “I hadn’t told anyone. My CO and my supervisor, but nobody else.”
Again, she completely absorbed herself in feeding the baby by looking at him and touching him. He let it go—she had to work it out in her mind. She had to realize she wanted people close to her.
Opening the box, he started to pull out blankets, mostly in shades of blue, but sometimes another color showed up. Pulling out the top one, he laid it over Dylan and Tim.
The scowl she shot him as she pushed it off them was a surprise. “Everything has to be washed, Captain. Everything.”
Groaning, not because washing everything was going to take forever, but because she was back to using “Captain” again. He couldn’t decide if it was a reflex or a way to keep them distant. He assumed the latter.
“It’s Holden, okay? I’ll start washing things. But he only has one outfit and a nasty habit of getting poop everywhere.” He gestured at his boy.
“Better snap to it then,” she quipped as she unfolded herself from the chair. “I’ll put him in his crib and take a nap.”
She started yawning, so he let her go—she needed sleep. He wished he could feed his son, but there was no way he was going to let her see she wasn’t needed. Because that was the day she would be gone.
Chapter 22
It had been over a week since they’d brought the baby home. Slowly, they had put everything away and made some much-needed room in the house, but the additional items that the baby needed were taking up a lot of space.
His first day back at work, he had started looking for a new place for the three of them. Something close to the VA since she liked to be close to work and something big enough for everything Tim would ever need. Though he hadn’t talked to her about it, and he only had his income on the application, he was still able to look at nice-sized places.
He was back to work the day after Dylan moved in, mostly so she was alone with the baby. That decision was something she hadn’t been happy about, but he had come up with enough excuses about babysitting and job duties that she stopped questioning it.
To his delight, she was loving being a mom, though she would never admit it. Every day when he got home there were stories of what Tim had been up to that day. A play-by-play of the day was reported in full detail, and then she would take a nap for a few hours while he took care of the baby.
So far, she hadn’t said a word about leaving again, though he knew she was still thinking about it. Not that he would bring it up—no way was he reminding her of that decision. She actually hadn’t said anything about any of her decisions, from where she’d been when she was on leave to why she was so willing to walk away from her son. What could possibly have happened for her to even think she could do that?
Dylan was happy to sleep in his arms at night, not once requesting he sleep on the couch or with just her. It wasn’t like anything was happening between them. Though sometimes, Holden just watched her sleep, loving how at peace she looked in slumber.
Since it was a Friday and quiet at the recruitment office, Jake had sent him home early. It was his way of thanking Holden for all the times Holden had let him go home when Mara was home over the last few months.
Holden loved the idea of rushing home to watch Dylan be a mother or holding his son. She was a better mother than she’d ever let on that she could be. Her heart was in that baby pretty deep.
But he knew he had another thing to do that Dylan couldn’t help him with. He had to tell his parents, about both the baby and Dylan.
After pulling into the driveway, he saw his mom was raking leaves while his dad sat on the deck watching her. It was the same way it had been his entire life: Mom was busy, and Dad lived on the fact that he had a job.
Seeing Holden getting out of the truck, his mom straightened and smiled at him. He hadn’t called, and was happy that they were both home, making all this a lot easier.
“I am glad you two are home,” he said, giving his mom a hug. His mom didn’t touch his back as she put her arms around him.
“Of course we’re here, where else would we be?” his dad asked from the deck, not moving.
“Maybe headed to Roark and Karin’s place?” he answered, knowing his parents didn’t go out there much. Dad usually had some issues with his boys, and Roark retired from the Navy too early.
“Nope, just putzing around here.” His mom looked back at the yard.
“Good, I stopped by because I wanted to tell you in person.”
His dad sat up straighter. “Tell us what?”
“While I was still in Afghanistan, I ran into Dylan,” he began, waiting for their reactions.
“Dylan who?” his mom asked with a questioning look in her eyes.
“Sorry, I mean Jessica. Jessica Dylannski Marquez. Chase’s wife.” He hated saying the words, that his brother had some claim to her, ever after all these years.
His mom’s eyebrows went up in surprise. “Is she still in the Army? I would have assumed she would have found someone else to marry by now.”
“She has twenty years in, Mom, and she’s a doctor now. She not only took the bullet from my leg, but fixed my back before I was sent to Germany.” He hoped that would help them understand what a great person she was.
“I’m sure she’s married. Probably a few times over by now. Poor Chase.” His mom sighed and shook her head.
“She’s not remarried,” he hissed at his parents, wishing he didn’t have to defend the love of his brother’s life…and his.
“She will, her kind always does.” His dad chuckled a little, as if he knew anything about her.
“Yes, Dad, I hope to God she does marry someone—me. And if you’re going to treat her like you did when she was married to Chase, you won’t see me much either.” He took a step back from them, hating that they were so cruel to one person.
“Jesus, boy, she’s nearly a decade older than you! You can get any hot little thing you want!”
“I want her. If you can’t accept that, then I’ll be on my way,” he said, turning to leave.
“Holden, wait,” his mother called after him.
He paused for a moment. “What?”
“Is she still in Afghanistan?”
“No, she’s living with me and works for the VA now. She’s an amazing surgeon.”
“Is that what you came out here to tell us? That you’re wasting your life just like your brother did on that woman?” his dad chided, shaking his head.
“No, I actually stopped by to tell you that Dylan and I have a son. He’s a week old, and his name is Tim. But you will never see him until you’re willing to accept Dylan and treat her the way she deserves.”
“A baby,” his mom called after him. “Do you have pictures?”
“He looks like his mother, so I assume you don’t care.” He climbed into his truck.
Thinking that your parents would disapprove of your life was different from them saying it. Every major choice in his life had disappointed his parents—this was just another drop in the bucket, but this was also one where he would walk away from them before he ever gave in.
Dylan was his life now, he just had to get her to realize it.
Pulling into his own driveway twenty minutes later, he knew it was still earlier than he usually came home, but now he was excited to see how her day had gone and how Tim was.
“Dylan, I’m home,” he called out as he stepped through the door, shrugging out of his jacket and hanging it up.
He was disappointed when she didn’t respond back. Usually, she called out her location or said, “Daddy's home!” Then he would find her in the house a drop a kiss on her forehead or cheek. So far, he hadn’t pushed her about anything except a goodnight kiss, which she happily gave him.
Taking off his shoes, he still didn’t hear a response from her. In fact, the house was eerily quiet. Usually, she was busy with something, from doing laundry to reading in the living room when he came home.
Tossing his shoes aside, he went to Tim’s room and found it empty. The crib had a tiny set of pajamas in the middle of it, but no baby. The rest of the room was spotless, as it always was. Dylan was a fastidious cleaner.
Holden peeled off his work shirt as he left the baby’s room, then found the two people who were most important to him in his and Dylan’s bed. The baby was lying on his back in the middle of the bed, his hands raised above his head.
Dylan was lying on her side in the leggings she constantly wore now and an old gray Army shirt. One of her arms was nested under the pillow, and the other hand was stretched out and resting on Tim’s stomach.
After a week, he had never caught her sleeping with the baby. She had always been up, and if he was home, he had the baby. He looked at the two of them now, facing each other.
Tossing his shirt on the dresser, he quietly climbed onto the bed and laid on his side, watching them sleep. Mostly his eyes were on the woman, the one who thought she couldn’t be trusted around kids.
Since coming home from the hospital, he hadn’t noticed her wearing her wedding ring, neither on a chain nor on her finger. In fact, she hadn’t worn any jewelry at all.
The only exception was her hair. She rarely braided it here, almost always leaving it free and hanging down her back.
Holden laced his fingers through hers over the baby’s belly and shut his eyes, enjoying the quiet time with his family.
Chapter 23
After hanging up on Elissa, Dylan wondered how she would have made it this far without her friend’s advice. Sadly, nearly every day, she would call the woman about something or other. Today it had been about Tim’s sudden need to be held or cuddled. Most days, he was content to lie on the floor, but not today.
Elissa had assured her that it was normal and just a thing for today. Dylan had returned the favor, letting her friend rant about work for a while. Back in the OB, Elissa was bored. The excitement of Afghanistan had gotten to her, and she was no longer happy just being an OB nurse.
So far, she wasn’t bored enough to move to the ER, which was Dylan’s suggestion, but she knew with time, the woman would eventually have to change jobs and offered to give her recommendations if needed.
Sadly, Dylan was going to be facing the same thing when she got back to the VA, even if she was in the surgical department. She, too, had been bored before Tim had been born, but since she’d been pregnant, she had little options.
Now with the baby in her arms, options opened before her, but she didn’t want to think about them. After four weeks, Tim wasn’t nearly ready to be without her—he was still dependent on her for food, and she wasn’t aware if Holden had been looking for childcare yet.
Which was something he needed to do, and fast. In two weeks, no matter what, she was going to be back at work. Whether she still lived with Holden or not, she couldn’t be there all day with the baby.
Maybe that was why Tim was so clingy today—he knew she was thinking about leaving. Today she had called her boss at the VA and had gotten back on the schedule. Her time with Holden and their son was nearly over. While she was pregnant, she had wanted to leave as soon as she could, but knew Tim still needed her now.
All week during their phone calls, Elissa had dropped hints on how to be a working mom. Everything she said made sense and seemed easy to do. Until Dylan remembered that once she started working she would be back in her apartment and Tim would be with Holden still.
Based on her reading, she could start transitioning him to a bottle at any moment. They were all washed and ready to go with a container of formula sitting right next to it. That way, Holden wouldn’t need her at all.
In two weeks, not only would she have to go back to work, but any excuse to stay with Holden would also be over. He could do most of the work on his own.
Then what would her excuse be to see her son, when she didn’t really have one? Whether she was across town or back in the desert, it wouldn’t matter. It wouldn’t take them long for them to forget her.
She set the baby in his bouncing thing, then checked him again for a temperature or anything that might be irritating him. This was the third time she had checked, and so far, had found nothing.
His blue eyes followed her around, making sure she didn’t leave him. Today he was determined to keep her with him constantly.
With a sigh, Dylan gathered him up again and held him close, admitting that maybe she needed him close to her also. May
be it wasn’t all him.
The doorbell suddenly rang, causing the both of them to jump. She hurried over to answer the door, wondering who it could be. It wasn’t every day that someone came over, but sometimes Mara came before work, or the UPS guy brought something Holden had ordered. Most of the time, it was something for Tim.
Swinging the door open, she looked straight into eyes that were so much like Holden’s, except they belonged to his mother. They were not happy or mad, just worried, and Dylan’s stomach instantly sank.
“Is Holden home?” she asked tentatively, looking at the baby.
“Uh, he’s at work,” Dylan told her, but his mother would know that. His schedule was mostly eight to five and hadn’t changed in a while.
“Oh, I was wanting to talk to him.” Donna Marquez’s eyes were still glued to the back of the little boy who was scrunched up on Dylan’s chest.
“You can call him.” She turned away from the door, protecting her little guy from her.
Leaving the woman standing just outside the open door, Dylan went into the house and tried to ignore the fact that the woman didn’t leave. Donna just stood there in the open door watching her. Dylan for her part ignored that she was supposed to be a good hostess and let her in.
“Holden said his name was Tim. Is it just Tim or Timothy?”
“Just Tim,” she answered.
“Holden said we can’t see him until we learn to treat you better, so I want to apologize right now for all the mean things I said to you.”
“I don’t care how your treat me, Mrs. Marquez—I never have. All I ever cared about was how you treated Chase, and now Holden. If you can’t respect your sons, you can’t respect my son.”
“I was always proud of my children in whatever they did. Maybe I wasn’t very good at showing them that, but it is true.”
“Maybe you should make a point of telling them sometimes, not just letting them wonder.”
“I am going to try harder from now on. Holden said you were some kind of doctor.” Donna Marquez still was outside, but the screen door was now open.