Poison Apple Crisp

by Addison Moore

  A jovial laugh belts from her as she looks to the three of us.

  “Well, aren’t you the happy little family. Lottie, how are you feeling? Any nausea?” she asks while washing her hands and gloving up.

  “A little, but I’ve been managing it as best as I can. I’m hoping the worst of it is over.”

  She looks my way. “I wish that for you as well. But don’t be surprised if it takes a turn for the dramatic. It’s highly unpredictable. It can certainly come and go without warning. Any questions so far?” She looks to the three of us as she snaps one of her gloves before taking a seat on the stool in front of me. “Now, Lottie, are you comfortable with these men in the room? I’m going to have to take a quick look under the hood.”

  I glance to both Noah and Everett.

  “Oddly enough, I’m more than comfortable,” I say. I leave out the part about the two of them being well acquainted with what I have under the hood.

  “Okay”—she belts out a short-lived laugh—“let’s do this.”

  She has me lie down, put my feet in the stirrups, and asks me to scoot to the edge of the exam table about ten times until I feel as if falling off is a very real option. Both Noah and Everett stand a good distance behind me so they’re not exactly getting a bird’s eye view. I feel a few pulls and pinches before she asks Everett to dim the lights.

  A small flat screen that’s attached to a giant machine is pulled my way. She plucks my feet free and asks me to lie back and places a towel over me, discreetly leaving my belly exposed before squirting it with warm blue jelly.

  Dr. Barnette nods my way. “Are you ready to hear your baby’s heartbeat and see the little peanut?”

  “Yes, please!” I hike up on my elbows, and both Noah and Everett swoop in on either side of me. Noah takes up one hand and Everett takes up the other.

  Dr. Barnette offers a tight smile to the three of us.

  “Lottie, I’ll also be measuring the fetus to see if we can get the due date as accurate as possible for you. I’ll combine that information with the first day of your last cycle. I’m sure the three of you are looking to put this paternity issue to rest as soon as possible.”

  The three of us keep tight-lipped, mostly because we don’t believe that for a minute this will put that paternity issue to rest. Everett and Noah plan on warring over this baby until the bitter end. And at this point, I’m not sure if that’s the end of this pregnancy or the end of their lives.

  She presses a tiny flat instrument over my abdomen, and the steady sound of whoomph, whoomph, whoomph echoes through the room.

  “What’s that noise?” I lean up another notch in a panic.

  “That, Lottie Lemon, is the sounds of your baby’s heart.”

  And just like that, everything in me falls ten times deeper in love with this tiny being growing inside of me—a deeper love than I ever thought possible, a love that transcends time and space, life and death. And intrinsically, I know that I will do anything to protect this child, now and forevermore. My entire world has shrunk down and is now blooming into life right there in the nexus of my being.

  Everett wipes a tear from his eye. “That’s the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard.” I turn my head and kiss his hand. “I’m sorry you were denied that with Evie, but I’m glad you get to experience it now.”

  Noah gives a hard sniff. “I’m in love with our baby, Lottie. I’ll never forget this moment.”

  My heart sinks because this moment is tinged with a patina of sadness, too. I’m not able to give a trophy to everyone at this ceremony. This is a winner-takes-all situation. But I have no doubt whosever this baby might be, he or she will be well loved by both Noah and Everett.

  “Okay, are you ready for the big reveal?” She inches the screen our way and points to an opaque blob amidst the shadows that surround it. “That right there in the middle is your baby.”

  An aching moan expels from me.

  “My baby?” I pant out the words in disbelief as I look to the tiny little angel. “Oh! I can see its precious head! I see miniature arms and legs,” I say as both Noah and Everett breathe out a small laugh.

  “It’s beautiful.” Everett lands a kiss to my forehead.

  “It is beautiful indeed,” Noah echoes.

  Mom and Carlotta are called in, and soon the entire room is crying happy tears as we look at the sweet little peanut with amazement.

  Carlotta grunts. “It’s got a big head, Lot. I’m guessing it’s got an extra brain. That should make for an interesting exit. Glad you had a pinhole of a coconut.”

  Dr. Barnette laughs. “It’s perfectly proportioned just the way it should be. The baby is about the size of a fig. And the genitalia is about to form, and soon we should be able to tell if it’s a boy or a girl. That is, if you want to know. But you have time to think about it.”

  I take a breath. “I guess I’ll need that time.” There seems to be so much to think about.

  “So when is she due, Doctor?” Mom wastes no time in getting to the nitty-gritty.

  Dr. Barnette tips her head. “I’m putting her due date right at March ninth.”

  Mom gasps and claps her hands. “Oh, Lottie, that’s just a couple weeks before your birthday!”

  “What?” Carlotta squints over at me. “I thought I had you in December! Maybe I should demand a paternity test myself. You might not even be my kid.”

  I make a face. “I’m afraid I am. There’s no use in denying it now, Carlotta.”

  Mom nods. “But A for effort.” She smooths her palm over my head. “I’m on my way to see baby Josie. Is it okay if I tell your sister about your due date?”

  “Sure,” I say. “Tell Lainey I’ll be by one day soon myself. I need my big sister now more than ever before.”

  Dr. Barnette creates a little video and puts it on a thumb drive for us, and then snaps off a half a dozen pictures from the ultrasound image as well and gives a couple to both Carlotta and my mother as a parting prize as they leave the room.

  “Now”—Dr. Barnette says, turning the lights back on and helping me to a sitting position—“I have an option for you. Right now you’re about eleven weeks. You’re rounding out your first trimester.”

  “What? Noah says with a touch of excitement. “You hear that, Lot? You’ve only got two more to go. You’re practically a third of the way done.”

  Dr. Barnette laughs. “That’s one way to look at it.”

  Everett takes a breath. “Does that mean we’re out of the woods? Is the baby safe?”

  “Yes.” She nods. “Anything is possible, of course, but your baby looks healthy and is growing beautifully. Lottie, I’m sure you’ll adhere to a healthy diet, no recreational drugs, no smoking, no alcohol. I’d steer clear of caffeine for the most part. I’m sorry, but I’m obligated to say those things.” She looks from Noah to Everett. “And since the baby is at the right stage, we can do DNA testing to see which one of you is the father. It does pose a small risk to the baby, though.”

  “No,” both Noah and Everett fire it off without hesitating.

  Dr. Barnette gives a long blink. “I completely understand. In that case, I have the name of a very good lawyer for the three of you. She can help hammer out any legal details before the baby is born in the event it’s one or the other’s. And, Lottie, please consider this. Once the baby is born, there will be so many things to do, and dealing with an attorney will be at the bottom of your list. It looks as if the three of you get along quite well today, but I’ve seen this play out before and it can get very ugly fast. Things can change on a dime. I implore you all to consider it.” She hands the three of us each a thick business card with the name of an attorney on it. “I’ll see you all in a month. Lottie, Noah, Everett, if you have any questions at all, please don’t hesitate to call.”

  She takes off, and Noah and Everett stare one another down a moment.

  Just a few minutes ago, the three of us had happy tears in our eyes, and now they look as if they want to kill one another
. Dr. Barnette is right. Things really can change on a dime.

  Noah clears his throat as he nods to Everett. “Would you mind if I had a moment alone with her?”

  Everett looks my way. “I’ll be in the waiting room.” He takes off, and Noah helps me off the table, wrapping his arms around me tightly. My chest bucks with emotion, and his does, too, and the two of us stand there like that for what feels like forever.

  He sniffs hard as he wipes his hand down his face. Noah looks at me with those glowing green eyes.

  “I love you, Lottie Lemon. I didn’t think that love could grow another inch, but it grew an entire universe today.” He lands his hand gently over my belly. “I know that I know that I know—this baby is mine,” he says it soft as a whisper. “And if by some chance it isn’t, I’m still going to love you both as if it were. I can’t help myself. You are my family.”

  I nod through tears. “We are family, Noah. Forever.”

  We share another embrace before he takes off, and I do a quick change into my clothes. By the time I head back out, Noah has left for work, and Everett holds my hand all the way to his car.

  He pauses a moment before opening the passenger side door and washes his gaze over my face. A smile begins to form, and it’s so very genuine, so very real, I take a moment to marvel at this gorgeous man.

  “I love you, Lemon. You, Evie, and this baby are my entire world. Thank you.” He gives a stern nod as the smile evaporates from his face. “Thank you for choosing to share your life with me. Lucky doesn’t begin to express how you make me feel.”

  “Everett.” I bite down hard over my lip. “Thank you for choosing to spend your life with me. You could have any woman on this planet. I’m the lucky one.”

  A dull laugh pulses through his chest.

  “Lemon, there isn’t another woman for me. You’re it until I take my dying breath. And after that, there will still be only you for me. As fiercely as I would fight for you, I will protect you. I can’t wait to spend every moment of this beautiful life with you.”

  My heart swells with his every word.

  His mouth covers mine, and we express those words with actions.

  My life feels tumultuous, chaotic, and yet so very beautiful and perfect all at the very same time.

  And yes, it’s perfect with both Noah and Everett.

  And this sweet baby is the icing on this very delicious cake.

  Chapter 10

  It turns out, Alyssa Thomas is working tonight in a dive bar down in Leeds. I made the call right while grabbing a bite with both Noah and Everett, and shockingly neither of them was all that impressed with my tenacity to go forward with my own investigation.

  Noah went back to work and said he wouldn’t be home until the wee hours of the morning, so I proposed Everett join me in our first ever investigative date night. I let him know just because we’re hitched, he wasn’t getting a free pass on laying on the charm—to which he quickly replied that he plans to lay out all the charm I can handle in the bedroom until he’s given up the ghost.

  Speaking of ghosts, Ginger, the adorable little Pom, is floating by my side as Everett and I stand outside of the Brew Ha Ha Bar and Grill. It’s well after seven, and my feet are aching from putting in a hard afternoon at the bakery. I’m not sure why my feet feel as if I’ve just run a marathon, but I’m going to take a cue from Keelie and order a pair of those clogs she started wearing while she was pregnant, the ones specially designed for nurses. I remember her telling me it felt as if she was walking on a cloud, and thanks to next day shipping, I’m about to walk on a couple of clouds myself come tomorrow.

  The autumn air is icy. A vat of dark boiling clouds looms overhead with the threat of rain, and it’s dark as midnight out. Everett holds my hand as we stare at the establishment with apprehension. A giant neon donkey holds a flashing sign that reads Brew Ha Ha! Best booze and ass in town!

  I shake my head. “Is there not one place in this decrepit town that has an ounce of dignity?”

  Leeds, the town in which we stand in, is located just below Honey Hollow, and yet it might as well be an entire solar system away. Leeds is as seedy and tawdry as they come, and it seems that every time an investigation calls for a seedy, tawdry location, we don’t have to look any further than our neighboring town.

  “Don’t worry, Lemon.” Everett glides an arm around my waist. “I’m not here for the booze or anything the waitresses might be wiggling on by with. Let’s try to enjoy dinner, and hopefully you can get a pop quiz in with Alyssa.” He gives a little wink.

  The poltergeist of that tiny Pomeranian blinks to life in a spray of hot pink stars.

  “I’m all for enjoying dinner,” Ginger trills. “How I hope they have Fancy Beast on the menu. I do miss my old dinner mush.” She glides right through the door, literally just before Everett and I head in the old-fashioned way.

  No sooner do we step inside the dimly lit, boisterous establishment than the scent of garlic hits me hard.

  A horrid groan comes from me, and I start to dash for the door before stopping cold in my nauseated tracks. I take a few steady breaths.

  “Lemon? It’s the garlic again, isn’t it?” Everett tries to shuttle me to the door, but I dig my heels in.

  “No, it’s fine,” I pant. Because dear God Almighty, it is so not fine. “I just have to remind myself that I love garlic. Garlic is my friend. Garlic is not out to get me. And the tiny being I’m brewing in my belly is not a vampire. Oh my God, Everett, it’s not a vampire, is it?”

  Everett’s cheek cinches to the side. “Not unless there’s something we don’t know about Noah. Baxter DNA is vampire-free.”

  A tiny laugh trembles through me. “Whew,” I say as the feeling that I’m about to puke my entrails out subsides and is quickly replaced with a ravenous hunger. “I feel better.”

  “Did you notice you felt better after I said a few deprecating words about Noah? I think we’re onto a cure for your morning sickness.”

  “My all day sickness,” I point out. “And I see what you’re doing. So very funny.” I shake my head at him. “Now let’s get some food in my belly. I suddenly feel as if I can eat everything they offer plus the menu.”

  We head into the bar, and a waitress greets us with an ear-to-ear grin, but before I can even think of smiling back, I take in her strange headdress and… is that a tail?

  “I’m sorry,” I say to her while squinting up at the brown furry concoction sprouting from her head. “Are those supposed to be bunny ears?”

  The cute little blonde gives her ears a pat.

  “They’re donkey ears.” She turns, giving her bottom a shake, and that pointed brown tail swings side to side. “It’s the Brew Ha Ha’s mascot.”

  “Let me guess.” I lean in. “The bunny ears were taken?”

  She belts out a strange hee-haw of a laugh that has both Everett and me on edge. I can tell she rattled him because he just squeezed the life out of my hand.

  The blonde shrugs. “They pay us to do the laugh, too. You want to sit at the bar or a booth?”

  “Table,” Everett says as he points just past her. “I think we’ll be at that one.”

  I follow his finger, only to find Noah Fox seated with quite the spread of deep-fried dishes scattered around him, and we head on over.

  “I thought you were working late,” I say as I land in the seat next to him and pluck a weird looking fry out of a basket before popping it into my pie hole.

  “It’s a fried pickle, Lot,” he’s quick to inform me, and boy, am I ever glad he did. I was about to shoot it right out of my mouth. But come to find out, now that I know it’s a pickle, I rather enjoy it.

  “It’s delicious!” I rave to Everett as I try to pass him the basket.

  “No thanks.” Everett doesn’t look too impressed with the level of culinary expertise this establishment has to offer.

  The waitress lands a couple of menus before Everett and me.

  “Let me know if I can get you anythin
g,” she says, tossing down a few extra napkins onto the table. “Everything we serve is made with our home-brewed beer. Could I start the two of you off with a glass of the house special lager?”

  “Just one for me,” Everett says. “Lemon? You want something fruity and unleaded?”

  “Water is fine,” I say to the girl. “But throw in another order of these.” I hold up my new fried pickle obsession and she wrinkles her nose.

  “You bet. Would you like an order of garlic fries with that?”

  “No,” the three of us belt it out in unison, and she quickly does a disappearing act as if we admonished her.

  “Well, at least we’re on the same page.” I stretch my lips in the right direction. “What are you doing here, Noah? I thought you were working late.”

  “That’s exactly what I’m doing here.” He purses his lips my way. “You didn’t think I was going to give you my blessing to come here and quiz a suspect, did you?”

  “Noah,” I hiss as I lean his way. “Once Alyssa finds out you’re the lead homicide detective, and if she is the killer, she’s going to clam up. You could ruin everything. Now I didn’t want to have to say this, but I think it’s high time you stayed out of my investigation.”

  A laugh rumbles in his chest. “My, how the tables have turned.”

  “No”—Noah says it curt—“they haven’t turned, because you’re not going to be carrying on an investigation. Everett brought you here for dinner, I’m assuming.” He scowls over at his old stepbrother.

  “And because he knew he couldn’t stop me.” I give Everett’s hand a quick pat.

  “And that.” Everett dips his chin a notch. “I don’t want you alone with that woman. I’m sorry if that sounds harsh, but I need to know our baby isn’t in a dark corner with a potential homicide suspect.”