Sigyn's Song

by Meg Trotter

  Maera sat up. Her eyes fell on Loki’s dagger laying on a small table beside the bed. She bit at her lip, considering. Maera eased out of the bed and slipped her shoes on. When the god kept sleeping soundly, she tiptoed over to his side. Her fingers brushed against the cool metal and she picked it up. With one last glance at Loki’s peaceful face, she slid the dagger into her belt and tiptoed out the door.

  The morning air was sharp and cold through Maera’s thin clothes. She almost turned back for a cloak, but she knew she was already pressing her luck. Besides, if it really came to a fight, a cloak would only get in the way. She crossed the wet grass to the stables. The door stood ajar and gentle noises drifted out from inside. Maera took a breath. With one hand on the dagger handle at her waist, she pulled open the door. It creaked to announce her arrival.

  The figure inside looked up. However, instead of Skarde, it was Erik. He stood alone, frozen in the process of running a hand along the nose of one of the horses. When he recognized her, his expression morphed from surprised to admiring. Maera could tell from the sunlight warming her back that she was silhouetted in the doorway, just as he had been when they first met. She was thankful she’d forgotten to tie her hair up. It hung loose down her back and around her shoulders and gave a better effect in the soft morning light than her braids would have.

  Maera paused just long enough for him to get a good look before stepping further inside. “Erik?” she whispered. His gaze shifted from admiring to guarded, and she adjusted her stance to be more uncertain — rounded shoulders, biting her bottom lip, nervous fidgeting with her skirt.

  “Sigyn,” he said, stepping away from the horse, but not coming any closer. “I had wondered where you’d spent the night.” The tone had a note of accusation in it.

  “In the sick-house,” Maera said, trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice. She lowered her eyes. “I’m sorry. I should not have stormed out last night. It was childish.”

  “It was.”

  Maera pushed down another flare of annoyance. He wasn’t supposed to agree with her. She fiddled with a stray strand of her hair as she tried to decide on another path to lead the conversation down. She looked up at him from under her lashes. “I was afraid.”

  He cocked his head at her. “Afraid?”

  “That I’m losing you,” she said softly. She was secretly pleased when she was able to will her eyes to well up with tears. She blinked, as if trying to hide them, and wiped at the corners of her eyes. This seemed to thaw the prince’s resolve somewhat.

  Maera rubbed at her arms as if cold. “That other woman is so much ... more. More beautiful. Better family. I don’t have as much to offer, I know. I heard Orm talking with you about her.” She looked up at him and his irritation cracked and fell away.

  He sighed again and held out a hand to her. Maera took a few hesitant steps forward. When she slid her hand into his, he tugged her forward and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into an embrace. She nuzzled up against him, wrapping her arms around his waist. One of his hands came to rest on the top of her head and he ran his fingers through her hair. “I wish things weren’t so complicated. If I didn’t have a whole kingdom to think about...”

  “You were thinking about leaving it,” Maera reminded him.

  He was silent as he toyed with her hair a bit more. “I ... may have spoken rashly. Childishly,” he said with a half-hearted chuckle. Maera pulled back to look at him and he scratched at the back of his head. “Of course I’d love nothing more than to run off and live a simple life with you. But I can’t abandon my heritage. I have responsibilities.”

  And a thirst for people’s admiration, Maera wanted to add. She groped around for something to say to turn the conversation around, but Erik spoke first. “There is ...” He paused, searched her gaze, then continued, “There could be a way. If ...” He hesitated again, uncharacteristically unsure.

  Finally, he blurted out, “I could take you with me. Not as an official wife, but my own mother wasn’t Father’s official wife. She was still well-treated. I’d see to it that you were treated even better. I could set you up a living quarters close by so I could visit you any time I wanted, and your children could still possibly inherit the rule. I’d make sure you would live your life in the utmost comfort.”

  Maera tried to keep the flicker of anger off her face. He wanted her to entomb herself in some new land and only come out when he had want of her? It was beyond insulting. Yet, she had to agree, didn’t she? If she wanted to keep his love — and her life — this was her only choice.

  “If I’m with you, that’s all that matters,” she said.

  She would tell him what he wanted to hear to keep him for just one more day. That’s all Maera needed. One more day.

  Chapter 21

  When Maera returned to the sick-hut, Loki was stirring in his bed. He grunted at her when she closed the door behind her. “What were you up to so early?” he muttered.

  She grabbed a piece of twine to tie back her hair and sank down on her bed. I think I fixed things with Erik. Maybe. He wants to keep me, but not as an official mate.

  This seemed to wake Loki up a little more. “What a bastard,” he snapped. He eyed her. “You didn’t agree, did you?”

  Umm... yes? When Loki gave her an incredulous look, she shrugged. I mean, I just have to keep his love for one more day, right? Then after our bet is over, I can leave him. I don’t have to actually go through with it.

  Loki sat up and ran a hand through his messy hair. “Hate to break it to you, Princess, but what Erik has for you doesn’t sound like love.”

  Maera let out a frustrated sigh. Yeah, well, I’m working on it.

  Loki started to say something, but his gaze dropped to her waist and he snapped, “Is that my dagger?” When Maera gave him a guilty smile in reply, Loki swung his feet over to rest on the ground. “What, was your next plan to stab him until he agrees to love you?” He held his hand out. “Hand it over.”

  Maera glanced down at the weapon at her waist. Oh, I don’t know, she said, sliding the knife out and tilting it this way and that to admire the flash of silver. I kind of like it. I may keep it a while.

  He cocked an eyebrow. She smirked.

  Loki launched himself off the bed. Maera squealed, scrambling backward away from him. She led the god on a short-lived chase around the small space before he caught up to her. He hooked one arm around her waist and yanked Maera’s back up against him. With his other hand he reached for the handle of the knife. Maera tried to keep it out of reach by standing on her toes. When his fingertips brushed at the handle, she pitched her weight forward with a laugh, and they toppled.

  They both dropped the knife in attempt to break their combined fall, and the weapon went skidding off under a table. Maera landed on her stomach on the dirt floor, while Loki landed on his hands and knees over her. Laughing, Maera tried to wiggle forward to go after the knife again, but Loki grabbed at her belt, restraining her. Maera twisted half-heartedly to try to dislodge his fingers from the back of her dress before giving up and sinking down onto her stomach again laughing. Okay, okay, you win.

  When Loki relaxed his hold on Maera’s belt, she rolled over onto her back. Before the god could react, Maera grabbed ahold of his shirt and yanked him sideways into a roll. He blinked up at her when he found himself on the ground while she grinned down at him, straddling his hips.

  At that moment, the door opened. Freydis took two steps inside, and then stopped, blinking in surprise when she spotted Loki and Maera tangled up together on the floor. Maera had a flash of memory of her night spent in Erik’s bed and realized what this must look like. “Um-” she started, but left the sentence hanging, unsure of where to take it.

  Freydis muttered an apology and backed out of the house. When the door swung shut again, there was a beat of silence. Then Loki broke into laughter. Maera cursed as she untangled herself from the god to sit cross-legged beside him. Oh, great! Now she’ll tell Erik what she thought she
saw, and that will ruin my chances for sure and-

  “Relax, Little Fish,” Loki laughed, propping himself up on his elbows. “She won’t remember me by the time she gets back to the main house.”

  Maera pushed her now tangled hair away from her face and frowned at him. Okay, I understand that you make people unable to see you sometimes, but why do they forget you if they DO happen to see you? Do you make people forget?

  He shrugged. “It’s just a reflex. Most of the time I do it without even thinking now. It’s just easier if they don’t remember me when I leave, since I never stay in one place too long. Then I don’t have any obligation to come back if I don’t want to. Nobody even remembers I was there.”

  I didn’t forget you when you left.

  He grunted and turned to scan the floor for the dropped dagger. “I didn’t try to make you forget,” he said absently.

  Maera cocked her head at him. Will you? Make me forget you, I mean? After our bargain is over?

  Loki paused and then turned back to her, as if he hadn’t considered it — or if he’d considered it, that he hadn’t expected her to care. He gave her a teasing smile. “Why, would you miss me, Princess?”

  No, she said, without hesitation. When he looked a little insulted at her quick answer, she added with a laugh, Well, I couldn’t miss you, if I forgot you, could I? But, she added, as he rolled his eyes and lifted himself into a sitting position beside her, even so, I do think I would be a little sad . . . without quite knowing the reason why. She bumped her shoulder into his playfully.

  His expression softened the slightest bit and he let out a quiet breath. Yeah, he clicked. I think I would be too.

  They regarded each other silently. Maera didn’t realize she was leaning toward him until her shoulder bumped back up against his. She wondered what it would be like to kiss him. Her gaze drifted down to his mouth. As she puzzled over where in the world that sudden thought had come from, she noticed Loki’s gaze drop down to her lips as well. Was he considering the same thing?

  She eased closer. His breath hitched, but he didn’t move away.

  The door opened again, and Maera jerked back with a muffled gasp. Freydis entered, looking unaware that she’d come in just a moment before. When Maera glanced back at Loki, he had already rolled away to fish his dagger out from under the table.

  Freydis held up a parcel she held in her arms. “I brought you one of my dresses for the festival tonight.”

  It took a moment for the words to sink into Maera’s flustered mind. When they finally did, she gave herself a little shake and got to her feet, meeting the other woman halfway to accept the gift. “Oh,” she said. “How kind.” She unfolded it and let it hang between them. It was a brilliant shade of red. Holding it up to herself, she ran her hands over the soft fabric and the intricate stitching. “It’s beautiful. Thank you so much.”

  Freydis shrugged. “I wore it last year, back when ... when I was engaged,” she said. She reached out and brushed a speck of dirt off the neckline. “It’s been in a trunk ever since he died.”

  Maera’s mind had wandered back to just a few moments before, however this snapped her back into focus. “I’m sorry about your fiancé,” she said softly. She turned and draped the dress over the bed. When she looked back up at Freydis, she got the sense that the other woman wanted to say more. “What was he like?” she prompted.

  At first, Maera thought she had read her wrong. Something like annoyance flickered across Freydis’ face, but she sighed and looked over at one of the beds close to the fire. Loki had retrieved his dagger and was taking longer than necessary to slide it back into its place at his hip. His back was turned, but Maera thought the tips of his ears looked a bit flushed.

  “He was kind,” Freydis said finally, pulling Maera’s attention back to her. Freydis pushed a dark strand of hair out of her face. “Came from a village up north. I met him in Kaupangen one day when he was on an excursion with his brothers.” She shrugged, but a faint smile tugged at her mouth at the memory.

  Maera sat on the edge of the bed. She considered the best way to ask her next question. “Were you promised to Skarde then?” When Freydis stiffened at this and narrowed her eyes, Maera gave an apologetic smile. “I ... it just seemed like there was something between you two in the past.”

  Freydis glowered, though the expression wasn’t directed at Maera. “He had been asking my father for me. They’d been in talks, that’s all. Nothing had been formally decided.” She sank down onto the bed beside Maera, the red dress draped between them. “That’s why he’s so keen on Valka. He knows that she’s my closest friend. We’ve known each other since we were babies. Our mothers were best friends before they died. It would kill me to lose her, so he’s trying to take her from me out of revenge.”

  She shook her head. “But of course I can’t tell Valka that. He’s so good at manipulation, he’s got her wound around his finger. If I walked up to her and said, ‘The man you love is only marrying you out of revenge because I rejected him...” She shook her head. “She’d hate me. You saw how defensive she got the other day when I just indicated my dislike for him.”

  They both fell silent. Finally, Freydis stood with a sigh. “I’ve got to go help with food preparations.”

  Freydis turned to go, but Loki stepped into her path, startling her. “How did you say your fiancé died?” Loki asked.

  She blinked at him, clearly struggling with the memory of who he was and if he had been in the sick-house all along. “Er ... he got sick.”

  “Suddenly?” Loki asked.

  “Y-yes. Burning up with fever. He got too weak to move within days.” Freydis seemed to be about to ask why he wanted to know, but Maera felt a slight shift in the air when Loki cloaked himself again, and Freydis blinked at what seemed to her to be empty air. She shook her head to clear it, coughed, and then looked back at Maera who tried to appear as though the god’s interruption had never happened. She flashed a weak smile.

  Freydis hesitated, then said, “I’ll come help you with your hair when it starts getting dark, if you want.”

  “That would be nice. Thank you.”

  Once Freydis left, Maera raised an eyebrow at Loki, who was staring thoughtfully into the fire. “What was all that about?” she asked. She came to stand beside him, but couldn’t help noticing that he avoided her gaze, as if afraid of eye contact.

  He shrugged. “I don’t think your friend’s fiancé simply got sick,” he said. “It sounds to me like ol’ shark-eyes probably poisoned him.”

  Chapter 22

  Evening came and Maera turned to preparations for the festival. She wiggled into Freydis’ gifted red dress and smoothed out the wrinkles while humming a tune. Loki lounged on his bed, feet kicked up on the wall as he gazed up at the ceiling.

  Maera tried her hand at singing the song she’d heard twice in the village as she unwound her messy braids. She loved the way the melody twisted in the air, bouncing off the walls and echoing back to her. The humans’ way of singing made something loosen in her chest, as if she’d finally found something she’d been missing for all those years under the sea.

  Loki was uncharacteristically quiet while she ran through the melody a second time. She’d expected a sarcastic comment or two about her voice, but he only listened as she focused on brushing out the knots out of her hair. When she came to the third rendition of the song, she felt braver. Maera raised her voice and let herself enjoy every note. She closed her eyes and savored the way the song vibrated through her whole body. If she could, she would spend hours like this, singing to herself in this peaceful little shelter away from the rest of the world.

  When she came to the end, she let her voice trail off into silence. On the bed opposite her, Loki’s eyelids had drifted closed. She came to sit beside his head on the bed. You can’t be asleep, she said. I was singing loud enough for people outside to hear me.

  After a moment, he cracked an eyelid open to peer up at her. He muttered, “Does Erik know you
can sing like that?”

  Maera shook her head. The movement sent the bottom of her long hair brushing against his nose. He batted the golden strands away. “You should sing for him tonight,” he said.

  What, Maera giggled. just randomly burst into song?

  “Sure, why not? Be a little unpredictable. Humans love it,” Loki said. He reached up and tugged at a strand of her hair that was still tickling his face.

  Maera started to reply, but was distracted by a sound at the door. They both looked over expectantly, but nobody entered. After a few moments, another soft shuffling sound came from by the door.

  Maera and Loki exchanged a look. Loki kicked his legs off the wall and rolled upright silently. With a finger held to his lips, he eased himself off the bed and tiptoed toward the door, slipping his knife out of his belt. They listened. Another small sound came from behind the wood.

  Loki wrenched the door open.

  Freydis stood framed in the doorway, her hand raised as if her fingertips had been on the door a moment before. She wore an embroidered yellow dress and her hair was plaited in a long braid. She stood unnaturally still. Maera waited for the other woman to say something, but she remained silent. She didn’t even lower her hand. Maera cocked her head. “Freydis?”

  It was as if Maera wasn’t there at all. Freydis stared past her with a blank expression. For a moment Maera thought Loki had cloaked them, but realized she couldn’t feel the chill of his magic. Unease twisted in Maera’s chest. She slipped off the bed and approached her. The other woman still acted as if Maera wasn’t there. Is she hurt? she asked Loki. What’s wrong with her?

  He slipped around Freydis and peered at her from the back before squeezing around her and coming back into the sick-house. He waved his hand in front of her face, but still Freydis stood still as a statue, staring vacantly at the far wall. Loki frowned. “I don’t know. I’ve only ever seen somebody like this when-” His head snapped back around to Maera. Suspicion crawled across his face.