by A. P. Marie
Caiden tilts my chin up and wipes away my tears using his thumb.
“I’m hurt that you would turn to Zander. Not just because being your mate makes me territorial of you, but because I care about you and I thought that you would come to me because of our shared experiences. Not just for sex. I mean for anything. I’m always here for you, Emily. Whatever you need. I want to be the first person you turn to because you will be the first person I turn to.”
It’s easy to see that Caiden is completely sincere. He means every word and it just makes me cry harder. I never meant to betray his trust. For anything that required conscious thought I would go to Caiden. He’s my best friend. But my reaction to Zander isn’t conscious. And that makes me cry even harder because I fear that I won’t be able to help myself from hurting Caiden more.
Caiden picks me up and turns me on his lap. My feet dangle over the edge of the couch as I snuggle into Caiden’s chest to cry. He wraps his arms around me, occasionally patting my back or running his fingers through my hair. He never makes a move on me or tries anything forward and it is so different from my experiences with Zander that I cry more.
I cry so hard and so long that I exhaust myself. I fall asleep in Caiden’s arms with tears still streaming down my face. It doesn’t escape my notice that I did him wrong and yet he is comforting me.
∞∞∞
When I come to alone in my room, I look around expecting to see either Caiden or Zander but neither of them are anywhere to be seen.
I peak my head into the hallway and see Jacob leaning casually against the wall next to my door.
“Hey, Jacob.” I go for cheery but by the way his eyes linger on my puffy red eyes I know that he can tell I have been crying.
“Umm, is Caiden around?” I ask and Jacob raises his eyebrow questioningly, “or Zander?” I add.
“They are both in the house.” His response makes me immediately suspicious. He has never been short on words and if he isn’t supposed to tell me something, he’ll let me know upfront. This vagueness is unlike him.
“Could you be more specific?” I ask moving into the hallway with him.
“They are in the ring. Training.” Half- truth. He gives me a pointed look and my heart drops. The ring is the boxing ring in the training room. It’s meant for sparring and practice fighting. I have never seen Zander and Caiden use it together. Zander has an entire staff working in the gym and our sparring is almost always carried out with them. With that knowledge and the look Jacob shot me I have no doubt why they chose now to go “train.”
I stomp off in the direction of the gym with Jacob right on my heels.
“I don’t believe your presence will help the situation.” Truth. Jacob says from behind me.
“I don’t care. If they are in their acting like idiots because of me then I am going to stop them.” Or at least keep them from hurting each other.
“Emily, it cannot be helped. They will not be able to watch their mate with another male. It is not possible. At least this is in the training ring where injury will be kept to a minimum.”
“Stop thinking like a male for five seconds. I do not belong to either of them. They have no control over me or what I do. If I want to sleep with every male on this continent, I will!” I huff angrily.
I have never had the desire to sleep with every male on any continent but my point stands. I don’t belong to them. I have a connection with them that I have made it perfectly clear will not lead to a final mating ceremony. They have no say over me.
“Umm, maybe don’t bring that up when you talk to them.” Jacob says as he rubs the back of his neck and ducks his head to hide his reddening cheeks.
I storm into the gym and see Zander and Caiden in the midst of what seems to be an intense fight. Zander has a split in his eyebrow and his lip is bleeding. Caiden has twin streams of blood running from his nostrils and dark bruises growing under his eyes.
I freeze just inside the doorway as Zander growls and Caiden roars in response.
“She is not your plaything to do with as you please. I won’t allow you to fuck with her.” Caiden says adamantly as he takes a swing that Zander blocks with his forearm.
“I’m not fucking with her. She is my mate!” Zander replies as he plants a well-aimed kick on Caiden’s thigh.
“She’s not your mate! She isn’t anyone’s mate until she agrees to complete the ritual.” Caiden swings his right hand toward Zander’s face but when that is blocked, he follows it by planting his left fist in Zander’s stomach.
Zander growls in response and tries to kick Caiden’s feet out from under him. “Quit dreaming. She will complete the ritual with me. Soon.”
“She doesn’t even know you. She will not agree to be your mate.” Both men stand facing each other panting heavily.
Only seconds have passed since I walked into the room, but I’ve seen enough. Their stillness allows my brain a second to kick back into activity. I march up beside the ring but neither of the men show any sign that they noticed my approach.
“I will not complete the mating ritual with either of you. How about that?” I ask angrily and they turn to look at me. Zander looks enraged but Caiden has the decency to look slightly scolded. “This is asinine. I can take care of myself. I don’t need either of you fighting my battles for me.” I’m so mad that they would resort to this kind of violence that I can’t even form a logical argument.
“Emily,--” Caiden is using his soothing voice but I’m not having any of it.
“I am not an object. You don’t own me. Neither of you has any right to interfere in my life.” I’m nearing the screeching hysterics that come on when I am so angry I can’t control myself.
“I’m your mate, Emily. I have every right.” Zander says angrily walking towards the edge of the ring nearest to me. “You belong to me. I know you weren’t raised in this community but there is no denying that you and I are meant to be. Your body responds to me in a way it has never responded to anyone. Not even Caiden. You. Are. Mine. If anyone tries to lay claim to you, I will destroy them.” Truth.
Zander is absolutely livid, but I can’t help but provoke him more. “If you believe that, then you are dumber than I thought. I will never belong to anyone.”
He squats down so we are eye-to-eye and whispers just loud enough for me to hear, “That’s not what you were saying last night. Our connection is strong enough that I can hear some of your thoughts. Remember? You were laying claim to me just as much as I was laying claim to you.”
I’m so shocked that he would throw something like that in my face that I take a step back like he physically assaulted me.
“Hey, motherfucker, this is what I’m talking about. I will not stand by while you use her for sex and then throw it in her face.” Caiden has moved now so he is between Zander and me. He shoves Zander hard and Zander stumbles back a step. “You can’t be trusted with her.”
I thought Zander had spoken loud enough that no one except me heard. Apparently, I was wrong. As I turn away to go back out the door, I see that Jacob is studiously inspecting the ceiling.
My cheeks burn with shame as I walk around him into the hallway. He turns to follow me but as soon as the door shuts, I stop him. “Jacob, I just need a minute alone. Please?” I don’t turn to look at him as I speak afraid of what I might see. So, I don’t know how he reacts to my request.
“He sat outside your room.” I look at Jacob in confusion, until he continues, “This last week, when you weren’t talking to him. He sat outside your door to make you more comfortable.” It’s clear that whatever Jacob is trying to tell me really means something to him, I’m just not sure what it is.
“To make me more comfortable? How does him sitting outside my room, when I don’t even know he is there, make me more comfortable?”
The look Jacob gives me clearly says I am missing something obvious.
“Come on, Emily. You’re a smart girl. Don’t tell me that you haven’t noticed that the ache in your ch
est gets better when you are with him and worse when you are away. He knew the distance you were putting between the two of you would make you uncomfortable. He did all of his work from the floor outside your bedroom. To ease your ache.”
I’m not a complete idiot, I had noticed that the knot loosened when I was around Zander. I didn’t know what to make of it though. Instead of admitting what was happening, I had tried to push it to the back of my mind, like a little kid covering their eyes when she tries to hide from her parents.
When I start walking, he does not follow.
Chapter 11
Useless Training
When I make it to my room, I shut the door and lean my head against the solid wood. This can’t be my life. I refuse to spend the rest of the time I have on earth under the thumb of someone so… so… arrogant. I opened myself up to him and he threw it back in my face. It didn’t even take any extraordinary amount of time. He probably only sat outside my room to ease his discomfort, assuming it works both ways.
The only good thing that has come from this situation is that I now see his true colors. He doesn’t deserve anything from me. Not my sympathy. Not my affection. Not my body. He gets nothing.
I move away from the door unsure of what I want to do next. My blood is boiling and I’m so mad I could set fire to this perfect house. Everything in this room, in this house, belongs to the one person I want to forget exists.
I head across the room to the French doors and watch as the plants sway gently in the breeze. Zander may have ordered the garden to be planted but he didn’t plant it himself. He didn’t pick every single flower.
Opening the door, I step out into the heavy air. I lean my head back and look at the clouds. A storm is rolling in from the coast and the breeze blows hard enough to blow my hair back from my face.
“God, I know I haven’t been your most faithful follower, but do I really deserve this?” For the first time my situation really feels like prison. Nothing would please me more than to get away from Zander and all his craziness. “I just… I really need out of here. I can’t do this anymore.”
As I continue speaking to God, I walk farther into the protection of the flowers and trees. The rational part of my brain can recognize that nothing Zander said was really out of line. It’s not even what he said that bothers me. It’s why he said it. How he said it. Like our experience didn’t mean anything to him. Like he could use it get back at me.
I’m still wandering farther into the garden and farther from the house when I notice the crunching of boots approaching me.
“Jacob, I’m fine. I promise. I’ll come back inside in a minute.” I’m hoping that he’ll take the hint and leave me to my wandering.
“Hmm. I’m not sure that’s going to work for me.” The voice that answers is definitely not Jacob. I turn just in time to see him step into sight on the path I just came in on.
This man has long black hair hanging down to his chin. His trim build is clear even through the patched jeans and t-shirt he is wearing. He would probably be handsome except for the look on his face. He looks hungry and angry at the same time. His dark eyes glare into mine like I am singlehandedly to blame for the worst thing in his life. The most unusual part of his sudden appearance is that I have never seen him on the grounds at all.
Zander has been very particular about who he allows on the property since I have been here. I think he is worried that the Lights might try something. There is no doubt in my mind though that this man has not been here since I have been.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you. Did Jacob send you out?” I lean around his shoulder hoping to see a familiar face standing somewhere behind him. No such luck.
I know what’s going to come out of his mouth before he speaks, but it doesn’t lessen the anxiety that comes on.
“No, Jacob didn’t send me.” The smile that crosses his face should reassure me. It doesn’t. The grin that creeps across his lips makes me cringe and I have to fight hard to conceal it.
“Well, it was nice to meet you. I have to talk to Jacob… about… something. I’ll see you around.” I try for cheery as I move to step around him, but his feet shadow mine, bringing him right back into my path.
“Jacob is out by the east entrance.” Lie. Mystery man lies very smoothly. Had my gift not warned me I might have fallen for it. “I’ll take you to him.” Lie.
I smile sweetly and start a mental rundown of all of the defensive techniques Jacob has taught me in the last week. When mystery man steps closer to me I step back in a way that I hope looks casual, but in reality, allows for a better base for my next move.
I hold out my hand like I am willing to let him lead the way. When he starts to move passed me, I snatch his wrist and twist it around behind his back. I can tell that, despite his insistence, Jacob has been going easy on me. If this man had been on guard, I would have never stood a chance. Even after catching him off guard I find that his muscles are bands coiling tensely toward freedom. I have very little chance of holding him long.
“Get on the ground.” My only hope is that he’ll cooperate, thinking I still have any tricks up my sleeve (which I don’t, not really) so I deepen my voice and try to sound as casual as I can possibly muster.
“Not likely, Princess.” He doesn’t even have the decency to pretend that I have the upper hand. So, I kick the back of his knee causing him to fall to one knee.
“Wrong answer. Why are you here?”
“I’m not the one you should be worried about. He is.” He turns his head to look over his shoulder at me and I see that he has a giant smirk on his face.
“Wh--” I catch movement in my peripheral vision as I turn my head to see where he is indicating. Just as I get the impression of a large man with long, wild hair and an untamed beard I hear a dull thud and instantly my world gets fuzzy. I release the hand of my captive just in time to catch myself before my face slams into the ground. I can’t understand what I could possibly be doing on the ground when a wooden baseball bat falls to the ground beside me. This mother fucker hit me.
My eyes get heavy, but I fight them with all my might. I know that there is a very good chance that my life depends on it. Dark spots start growing across my vision and I know that unconsciousness is coming. I stay awake just long enough to be tossed over the shoulder of the burly man as he starts walking away from the house.
∞∞∞
When I come to, I’m in a dark room. The floor beneath me is hard and cold. There is a faint echo and a very distinctive smell to this room of mildew or mold. Like laundry that sat in the washer too long. I open my eyes briefly and look around the room, but I snap them shut quickly. I don’t need to see the room to know where I am.
I am in the room that I have been dreaming about. The cellar/ prison place. The only things missing are the deep sense of loss and the battered body.
The walls are entirely made of cement with a steel door. There is a toilet sticking out of the wall on one side and a metal bed bolted to the floor on the other. I try to sit up but my head aches like crazy, and I instantly feel nauseous. I crawl as quickly as I can to the toilet where I promptly throw my guts up.
After I throw up everything in my stomach, I crawl back to the bed, but I can’t manage to lift my body into it before the blackness returns. My last thought is that maybe I’ll get lucky and that head shot will kill me before I feel that emptiness and loss that haunted my dreams.
I’m not that lucky. When I come to again, I am still on the hard, cold floor but now I am not alone. A man is leaning casually against the wall beside the door. I steel myself for what I know must be coming and I thank my lucky stars that in this, my last moments, my bravery doesn’t desert me and leave me a sniveling slob.
“Finally, I was beginning to wander when the welcoming committee would arrive. Took you long enough.” Even I can tell how false my bravado sounds and considering I haven’t managed to lift my head off the floor, I anticipate it is glaringly obvious to this man also.
I watch as his shoes move nearer to me and then his weight shifts to the balls of his feet as he crouches down beside me.
“You have been in no condition for a welcoming committee.” Truth. When he leans near me, I catch a scent that I don’t recognize. It’s sort of like rotten eggs and sulfur. “My friends were a little bit rough with you. You should have just come willingly. It would have saved you all of this pain.” Oh, we’re off to a bad start if he is lying to me already.
He uses the back of his hand to brush across my cheek and move my hair off my face. I try to sit up and after a few seconds of dizziness I find that I can manage my new position.
“What do you want?” I’m too tired and in too much pain to try diplomacy.
“You.” He smiles in what the uninformed might consider a pleasant smile, but I am not uninformed.
“Not going to happen. Try again. Maybe something realistic this time?” From my sitting position I can see the man kneeling in front of me better. He is inhumanly handsome with warm chocolate skin and long dreads that hang down onto the shoulder of his obviously expensive suit. Must be a Nephilim. Except where Zander and Caiden always make me feel comfortable, this man’s presence makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
“Oh, it will happen. You will belong to me soon enough.”
“I don’t know if you know this or not, but I’m already mated. Sorry.” I try for sincerity although I know better than to expect he will release me.
He smiles in amusement at me like someone might smile at a toddler they are indulging. “Don’t worry about that. I am taking care of it as we speak.”
For the first time true terror streams through my veins. I have accepted my fate. Long before I ever met Zander or Caiden, I knew that my lifeline was shorter than others. Even now I am prepared to accept that this cement room will be the last room I ever see. The one thing I cannot accept is that Zander or Caiden will meet their fate because of me.
I may have been mad at Zander and I have had my fair share of disagreements with Caiden, but I would die before I willingly allowed something to happen to either of them.