With lightning speed, her arms flew around my neck. “Now, listen to me!”
Realizing she tricked me, I tried to rise on my knees and yank free of her arms, but that only spurred her to wrap her legs around my waist like a deranged monkey.
Her body’s vice-like grip was impressive. “Giver! You’re wrong—”
Pushing against her hips, I fought to get to my feet, yelling, “Don’t you understand?”
“I’m trying—”
With her attached, I took a step toward land. The slippery rock had my feet flying out from under me, tossing me backward, plunging us both in the water. I wanted to stay under the water so Justice would let me go to get air, but the stubborn woman held tight.
Drowning the woman you are literally trying to die for is just stupid, so I rose to the surface. Her goddamn mouth started running before sucking in her first breath. “You will listen to me!”
My feet found ground and started marching us back up the spring’s edge. “I’m only doing one thing. That’s it. For real this time.”
I guess she finally took me seriously because she let go, dropped to her bare feet, and ran.
I kept marching toward my clothes, thinking, Yes, run, baby. Don’t watch this. Bending down to get my gun, I heard another one click.
Her voice was menacing and raw. “Then we go together.”
Ah, shit.
Even though I knew she was at the edge of her sanity, this was going to be my only chance to right my wrong, so I called her bluff and continued to reach for my gun.
Boom!
CHAPTER TWELVE
Like I’d been electrocuted, my whole entire body jolted to a standing position. No. Even though I felt paralyzed—body, heart, and soul—I turned around in slow motion, terrified of the sight that was waiting for me, but needing to know. I had to see how I had catastrophically fucked up another life, one so much more valuable than my own.
Justice was holding the barrel of her gun near her temple—careful not to touch since it was hot from being fired—but was so ready to fire it again. I just knew it. Dripping wet, she looked like a perfect blend of a psychotic escapee and a biker version of Mother Nature with the water and greenery behind her. She sneered, “The next shot is in my head, asshole.”
“You. Crazy. Fucking. Bitch.”
“You. Better. Fucking. Know. It.”
We were both heaving for air as I demanded, “Put the gun down.”
“Kick yours to me first.”
As if lecturing a child, I pointed and scolded. “You need to calm the fuck down.”
“Me?” She imitated me the first day we met by throwing one arm wide. “Ya leading by example?”
That’s not fair. “I was lost that day.”
“Then found, fucker. By me. Don’t you forget that.”
Desperate for my crazy to finally end, I patted my chest. “Right here, babe. But, please, don’t ask me to live through hurting you. I can’t. I just can’t.”
Not dropping her gun, she burst into tears. “You didn’t! He didn’t! That’s what I’ve been trying to say! Unless you consider him making me come caused me pain, he hasn’t hurt me at all.”
Hold up. Did she just say—? I growled, “He made you come?”
Her brows pinched. “Well, technically, you did.”
I took a step toward her. “How did he make you come?”
She took a step back, lowering her gun. “Umm, you, umm, wanted a, uh, taste.”
Fighting a severe case of the crazy-jellies, my tongue searched every part of my mouth, fighting not to say… “You let him go down on you?”
She took another step back, cautiously eyeing me. “Giver, this is insane.”
“You ain’t seen shit yet. Why did you let him lick you?” Hooded eyes told me she was getting lost in the memory of it. Oh, hell no. “Get on the ground.”
“W-What?” she balked.
“I want you on my tongue. Right fucking now. I’m gonna suck you so hard, it will erase any memory of him, or anyone else for that matter.”
I swear her knees wobbled as she swayed, barely able to keep those glassy greys open. “B-But, it was you.”
“Nah, babe, but you’re about to get me.” Justice, not watching where she was going, had backed into a boulder that was at the perfect height for what I planned to do. I took advantage of her wobble and pounced, pressing my hand to her chest to lay her down. “Open your legs.”
Justice was so aroused, though she might have said ‘no’, her knees falling apart gave me all the permission I was looking for. “G-Giver, what are you—”
“Pull that string aside, or I’m ripping that silk from your body.”
Shaky fingers fumbled, but she was doing as told. “W-Why are you so mad?”
Perfection. Wet, pink perfection.
“Because… no one but me—” Lowering to my knees, I took in every beautiful crevice. “What the fuck is this silver down here?” My dick went rock hard because the piercing on her tender skin mimicked the torture I was about to deliver, but my temper soared because my deranged mind was convinced a man had done the piercing. “You think I’m playin’?” I didn’t give her a chance to respond before slapping her hand away and ripping the panty from my personal playground.
In need, her legs started to tremble. “G-Giver—”
“Oh, I’m givin’. Don’t you worry. From this moment on, every time you hear my road name, this is what you are to think of.”
Her head flew back, mouth open, shouting, “Oh, God,” as I dove in, without caring if I had a parachute to catch my fall because I was gonna land in heaven. And I did. My tongue slid so deep in her pussy I think I was trying to become a permanent part of her body. “W-What are you—” I pulled back while mercilessly sucking on the ringed nub that was begging for attention. Her arms fell open, and the gun hit the ground.
Back in I went, impaling her with my tongue, silently promising to ruin her. And that’s exactly what I did. Every time I dove back in, she convulsed, her upper body curling forward. Every time I retracted my drenched tongue, I would urgently suck on that piercing, making her flail backward against the rock. As I relentlessly repeated this attack, she looked like I was performing an exorcism.
I was.
I took her so high; she’d never be able to see another man, nor want one. I was summoning every past memory and replacing it with one of me.
Justice didn’t last long. Her orgasm slid right down my throat, only spurring the beast in me. I demanded, “More.” Back in I went, challenging her to drip more.
She thrashed, gasping for air as I wrung her dry.
When I was done, I stood, damn proud of her spent, quivering body. “Justice, tell me you understand only I touch that pussy.” She just laid there on that boulder, sprawled and delirious. Her parted mouth didn’t speak, but her weak neck attempted to nod. I took her fevered condition as a proper response. “Good girl.”
With no sexual contact up to that point between Justice and I, we had an actual solid foundation to build on. We had several roles with each other that seemed to only add to the attraction between our hearts and bodies. I had been at the bottom of the totem pole, but she led me from loneliness and into a world of trust. Through the months of being only friends, she had helped me become a brother the club would someday be able to count on. I think that is why, even though I felt I was bankrupt goods, she saw potential. She saw the man deep inside my spirit. She saw a fighter. She saw… me.
Most importantly? She let me be me. Like how I had just taken possession of her body. She viewed my personal turmoil to be the ride of her life. She accepted how I had just been about to take my own, then did a one-eighty, now claiming her pussy to be far more important than my impending death. She gave me something to fight for when I didn’t feel I was worth it.
Now that we were crossing sexual boundaries with our strong friendship, we had to work at the balance of it. The chemistry was far too powerful to let it run wild. There w
ere still a lot of responsibilities and issues to deal with. So, we decided to get back in the water.
Again, I sat on the immersed rock while she swam in the middle of the spring. I asked, “How often am I not me? I don’t recall any blackouts since being in Austin.”
Her arms treaded water as her mind treaded thoughts. “Only at night. Dick says he don’t want you to try and stop him—”
“Wait. Dick?”
Grinning, she rolled her eyes. “He thinks it’s funny. I made the mistake of asking his name, so he gave himself one.”
“Why the hell are you finding this asshole amusing?”
She eyed me like I was rude, lifting the side of her upper lip. “Dick is charming.”
“Charming? I don’t think Delilah would agree.”
Compassion immediately crossed her face as if reminded of his violence. “No. I’m sure she wouldn’t.”
“Is it true then? Did I… Did he—” I shook my head as my stomach turned.
Her exhale was almost as long as how deep this complicated situation was. “I didn’t realize you didn’t remember it. Dick said he did. He hurt her.” She whispered, “But, he’s sorry.”
Images of what Delilah must have gone through stabbed my mind and conscience. “I don’t give a fuck what he is. All I know is he’s a rapist.”
A little distance from me, she found a rock like mine and sat on it. “He committed a rape, yes, but isn’t a serial rapist.”
“How the hell do you know what he is?”
She shrugged. “I listen to him.” She shook her head as if not wanting to think about what happened to Delilah. “He doesn’t even understand why he did it.”
This conversation was mind-blowing. “How can you stick up for him?”
She delivered a little attitude. “Wow. No wonder he likes me.”
I wasn’t welcoming it. “Meaning?”
“You don’t appreciate him.”
Blink. Blink. “I will never ‘appreciate’ him or his psychotic ways.”
She looked sad as she nodded. “Yeah. He said that’s how you feel.” After a moment of silence, she added, “He’s technically not psychotic, though. He’s very aware of who he is, and of his limitations.” She gazed off in thought. “I can’t imagine being in a body that isn’t mine most of the time.”
“Stop feeling sorry for him!”
She actually sat there and pondered for a minute. “It’s not pity that I have for him. It’s more like regret. I wish he never had to be, even though I really like him.” As my nostrils flared, she giggled, “You two are truly a lot alike.”
“Not making me feel better, babe.”
“Well, it’s like this. He truly wants to protect you—”
“I don’t need him.”
“You’re correct. You’re more capable of taking care of yourself now than ever. That’s gotta be hard on Dick. He was there when you had no one. Now, he has no place in your life.”
That was a perspective I had never considered before.
“Yeah,” she nodded. “Sad, right? On top of all that, deep down, I think he’s actually happy for you.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah, your recollection of memories—”
“What do you know about those?”
“Not too much. As I said, he protects you. Dick says that you’re embarrassed about what’s happened to you. That you wouldn’t want me to know the details.”
This fucker was starting to not sound like the horror version of me I had made him out to be, but I still wanted to be normal—free of any other ‘MEs’. “I wish I knew how to make him go away.”
“I can understand that. Articles I’ve read say there is no cure, but I have a feeling your lifestyle is the closest to a cure you could get.”
“Huh?”
“You live under constant protection. The deadly kind. I mean, think about it. We sleep like vampires, underground, so that no one can get to us without sufficient warning so we can be prepared and protect ourselves. For someone who is afraid of the night, it’s a fantastic scenario.”
This was true. There were a very select few that would dare enter our quarters, especially uninvited. But… “I know I will eventually be part of other activities for the club. I can hardly consider that a safe and nurturing lifestyle for a cure.”
“Compared to what you came from? From all I’ve witnessed with you, I have a feeling our lifestyle is a safe walk in the park for you. In fact, it’s orderly. Controlled environment. A safe brotherhood. Something you have possibly never known.”
Mr. Ward…
She agreed, “Yes, except for the last family you lived with.”
“H-How did you know—”
“But there may lie the problem. Did you truly trust they could handle you?”
I sneered, “I didn’t know there was anything wrong with me.”
“Ah, but Dick did.”
Fuck. This is starting to make sense.
“Your whole brotherhood literally sleeps with guns under their pillows. Admit it. You trust us. Deep down.”
She was dead on. I did. So, I nodded in surrender.
“There are only two things, that I know of, that seem to trigger you, hence Dick appearing.”
“Which are?”
“You being woken in the middle of the night, especially if you’re sleeping on your stomach.” She stared at me, as if curious how I will handle what else she had to say.
I hand-gestured. “Spit it out.”
“And… me.”
I thought of Dagger provoking me, then me waking on the floor… “That was what happened in the Barn?”
She nodded. “They had to see it.”
“What the fuck for?”
“Dick is not a Stallion.”
Challenging her, I lifted a brow. “I thought you said we are two of the same.”
She winked. “Who is fucking with whom now?” I may or may not have let a little growl escape. She laughed, then patronizingly repeated, “Never again will he be between these thighs.”
I grumbled. “Or anywhere else.”
She dipped her chin, “Or anywhere else,” then brushed off my jealousy. “The taste was a little dare. A joke of sorts. As I said, he’s charming.”
I pointed a finger. “He’s not to ‘charm’ nothin’!”
“I said I got it! Damn. Chill out.”
Grumble. Grumble.
“Anyways. Dick is not a biker. In fact, he’s not much of a fan of our existence. He thinks the boys are ‘mindless minions’ and should be ‘discarded’.”
“Discarded?” Anger burned through me in an instant. “Has he threatened my brothers?”
With a grin, she pointed to me. “See? Giver is a Stallion.” She slipped back into the water. “Dick hasn’t threatened them, not directly. Personally, I think his sour opinions are due to him losing you.”
I wasn’t exactly sure what that meant but was more concerned about the club. “So, then why did Stallions need to see him?”
She treaded the water again. “It has been decided for you to be more involved with club business.” My eyes widened. “Yeah, that’s huge, but with that comes danger. Lynx is the one to fill you in on all the details, but if during a deal something goes wrong, and I get hurt, I needed them to know who may appear. I wasn’t sure. So, they pushed you.” She smiled. “I shouldn’t find it super sexy, but damn was Dick pissed.”
My mind was spinning! The club saw me, as someone else, defending their Road Captain but ready to fight the rest of them. “Has Lynx changed his mind? Am I out?”
“Only one way out of the club. You know that.”
Death. I did know that. And I wasn’t scared. “So, what’s the verdict?”
She lowered her voice to imitate her brother. “If Justice gets shot, run. That fucker is gonna shoot everyone standing.” She chuckled. “I think my brother was twistedly pleased.”
My jaw was already locked due to her prior comment. “Someone shoots you, ‘Dick’ will
be the least of our problems.”
Justice smiled even bigger. “Noted.” She laid back to float in the water. “He’s rare.”
“Rare?” I admired her mostly naked body.
“Most people with Dissociative Identity Disorder don’t inherit a violent personality.”
“You been researchin’, babe?” Her thighs were making me wipe my mouth all over again.
“That’s what I do.”
Totally getting distracted by the sight in front of me, I said, “Not to cut this conversation short, but I really want to cut this conversation short and get back to your body. Anything else we need to discuss before I get my hands on you?”
“Unfortunately, yes.”
I sulked. “Damnit.”
Quietly, she voiced, “The baby.”
If I hadn’t already been sitting on the immersed rock, I would have sunk to the bottom and stayed there, past the point of needing more air. I wasn’t accustomed to hearing her sad. Strong, determined, stubborn as fuck? Yes. Sad? No. It made my stomach twist into a heavy knot. “Babe, I’m so sorry.” I stared at her flat stomach, wondering how beautiful she would be if it were her pregnant with my kid. Is that something I even want? “Maybe I could have that with you someday.”
Her hand slid to her belly, but she said nothing.
“Give me a chance to make this up to you. I just need time to mentally catch up to yet another crazy chapter in my life.”
“Relax. I’m a Road Captain of an MC. Getting pregnant will never be in my cards.”
It’s sad, but that calmed me. I was pretty much with a non-professional diagnosis of being insane. Bringing a child into the world was stressing me, not the joy expected by most.
She smiled to the sky. “Maybe that’s the miracle of Saph. We might get to hold a baby, James Gunn Dalton, provide and love the shit out of the kid, yet still have our way of life.”
Bleed Me (Haunted Roads Book 3) Page 13