Between the Blue Sky and You

by Clyde Andrews

  He loved her with everything he was; she was also all he had right now.

  Just then, his stomach tightened. The other worrying thing that rankled at Chance like a festering sore was that he didn’t know where Brody lived; he couldn’t even visit him to make sure he was all right.

  There was a knock on the front door, startling him.

  “Who could that be?” he asked.

  “Open the door and find out.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” he said teasingly, doing as instructed.

  Before Chance opened the door, he “hoped” it was Brody. It wasn’t. Though, the person visiting was the next best thing with his scruffy red hair and gentle face. Stewart was also wearing his football uniform, as all the team did, whether playing or not. Those short shorts of his left little to the imagination—even if Chance tried not to look at that.

  “Heya, Chance,” he said with a nod. “How’s it hangin’?”

  “Hey…Stewart. I’m good—so’s my dick. But…why are you…what brings you here? And how did you know where I lived?”

  “I can see why Brody loves you.” Stewart laughed. “You’re funny. Can I come in? Gotta talk to you about our main man.”

  “Okay, but you didn’t answer my questions.” Chance gestured for Stewart to enter; the boy was shaking his mum’s hand a split second later. Mum was smiling. Chance gathered she liked him. Though, he got the feeling they’d already met. At her work, perhaps?

  When the introductions were done, Stewart said cheekily, “I got your address from off the toilet walls in the changeroom, of course.”

  Chance didn’t believe Stewart but decided to play along. “What else is on there about me?” He knew now it was his mum who told Brody and then Stewart where he lived. No doubt gave them his phone number, too. He could understand that; he had been moody and distant lately.

  He couldn’t help but think about how he loved her even more.

  Stewart knocked Chance from his daydreaming. “Just how good you are at sucking cock, no biggie.”

  “What?” Chance almost swallowed his own tongue. He coughed, then coughed some more.

  Stewart patted Chance on his shoulder. “Relax, I’m just messing with you. Besides, everyone knows that if you’re into guys and it’s a good time you’re after, you go see Simon.”

  “Simon’s gay?”

  “As gay as they come. Now there’s a legendary cock sucker if ever there was one, from what I’ve been told.”

  “How many…how many gay guys are there on the team?”

  “Four.” Stewart counted out on his fingers as he rattled off their names. “Including Brody, there’s also Simon, Reeve, and Waverly. They are the guys who are out, anyway. I also think Jacob’s gay, but he hasn’t come out yet. Which is cool. We’re ready to support him whatever he decides to do.”

  Chance was coloured surprised. “Wow,” was all he could manage.

  “And then there are the bi boys, of course. We have about six or so of them. Maybe more. And it’s all good.”

  Chance couldn’t believe his ears. And here he thought football was the last bastion of narrow-minded and toxic masculinity left in Australia. “I’d say it’s because who you sleep with doesn’t affect your sporting ability, I’m sure.”

  “Too, right!” Stewart then turned to look at Chance, his expression serious all of a sudden. The air seemed to close in, dark clouds gathering. “But, Chance, dude, the reason I’m here is because…well, we don’t know where Brody is. He’s not at home and—”

  “Wait! What?”

  “He’s run away, Chance. We can’t find him anywhere.”

  Chance’s stomach turned and he winced. His immediate thoughts were whether or not Brody was okay. A split second after that, the guilt came crashing into his conscience. Brody wouldn’t have run away if Chance had listened. Another moment after that, determination struck him.

  “Then we’ve got to find him!” Chance really was a whirlwind of emotions; ones he knew he had to calm. And the only way of doing that was to find Brody.

  “That’s why I’m here. The last message I got from him last night before I found out he ran away was, ‘If Chance really wants to be with me, he’ll find me.’ So, what are we waiting for? Let’s go get your man already.”

  Chance turned to his mum who had been listening quietly all through their conversation. “Gotta go.” Chance kissed her on her cheek. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  “Go find Brody, honey.”

  “I will.”

  “I told you, you’d get your hope back, didn’t I?”

  Chance smiled at her. Next thing he knew, Stewart had grabbed him by his arm. They were at his car in no time; Stewart drove a hotted-up black-painted Holden ute, all slick lines with impressive chrome work details and mag wheels. Chance felt uncomfortable inside it, though, as the cabin was cramped only having two seats that were very close to each other. “It’s sure cosy in here,” he observed.

  “This is my passion wagon, dude. Gotta get the girls all fired up before taking them out for a good time, right? What better way than with some sweet wheels like this beast?”

  “If you say so.”

  At that moment, Stewart started the engine and revved it. Crap in a handbasket, it was loud. What’s more, the whole car vibrated, including the seat Chance sat in. As Stewart revved the engine even more, Chance was sure his balls shook so much that they wanted to retreat into his stomach for added protection.

  “Feel that power?” Stewart stated. “Gets ‘em all wet it does. Pure throbbing vee-eight muscle, that is. A real leg opener, am I right?”

  “The last thing I want to do right now is open my legs, Stewart.”

  “Yeah, but being a gay guy, I bet you can feel that deep engine throb going right up your buttcheeks to turn you on.”

  Chance couldn’t help but laugh. “You have no idea what you’re talking about, do you?”

  “You’ll see. Just you wait.”

  Chance liked Stewart and could see him becoming a good friend. If only they could find Brody, that was. Before he could contemplate such things, Stewart had reversed the ute off his driveway. When in the street proper, Stewart put the car into first gear, revved it to the red line, then released the clutch while flooring the accelerator.

  The result of the clutch being dropped was two-fold.

  The tyres spun and squealed, causing a plume of thick, white smoke to pour out the back of the vehicle. At the same time, when everything caught up with what Stewart did, Chance’s whole body was sucked into the back of his seat as they sped away.

  It was thrilling.

  Chance’s adrenalin pumped all through him, his mind abuzz with excitement. He could now see what Stewart was talking about. “Okay, if you were my boyfriend, I’d be impressed right about now.”

  “Told you. This baby’s a leg opener, for sure.”

  “You’re right, I admit it.”

  They both laughed.

  Once Chance settled into the drive, he put on the radio. With some modern tunes piped through the cabin, he relaxed a little. Stewart also made him feel comfortable, engaging in small talk and laughing with his jokes and observations.

  “What does it feel like when you put your cock into another guy’s arse?” he dropped on Chance without warning.

  Chance fired back, “What’s it like when you stick yours into a pussy?”

  “Good point!”

  “No matter what form love takes between two people, it’s still love.”

  “You’re so right.”

  They both laughed with each other from then on in. It was great.

  “Hey, I think we should check out the footy club first,” Stewart suggested as the clubroom loomed at the tree-lined crest of a hill Stewart drove up.

  Chance nodded agreement.

  But Brody wasn’t at the football club. He wasn’t at the convenience store, the sports shop, the oval, the school, or anywhere else Stewart drove to.

  Chance began to worry eve
n more, resorting to biting his nails and feeling more stress zits form on his forehead. Where could Brody be?

  “Hey, we’ll find him.” But Stewart’s face reflected Chance’s concern perfectly.

  “What if he’s been…hurt, Stewart? Or worse?”

  “Don’t think like that. You can’t think like that, not until we know for sure.”

  Again, Chance nodded, but that time he didn’t believe his own gesture. For the next two hours, they checked out places Brody might be on a long shot. Even places he’d never be found dead in, like the local church, Boy Scout hall, and the youth recreation centre.

  Brody wasn’t anywhere.

  As the sun started to sink towards the horizon, the sky staining orange, Stewart’s expression became filled with worry. “He’s never done this before. Not without letting me know where he is, anyway.”

  “It’s all my fault,” Chance admitted. “He kissed me and then…when he answered his phone during it, I flipped out, thinking he’d rejected me like my last boyfriend did.”

  “Are you talking about that Liam dude?”

  “Yeah, him.”

  “He was a douche. Sorry, but that’s the truth. He bragged about how he wanted to pop your cherry before he left for wherever the heck he went with his family.”

  “He said that?”

  “Yeah. He also told us he didn’t care if he guilted you into it, either. He just wanted to get balls-deep into you, and that was that.”

  “The bastard.” Chance’s memories of Liam turned dark. It all made perfect sense now how he had behaved before he left for Estonia. How he wanted Chance to do things with him other than kiss and hold hands.

  When Chance told him he wasn’t ready for that, Liam stopped their kissing and got moody, blaming Chance for not wanting to be his boyfriend, then playing the guilt card complete with fake water works.

  Chance dodged a bullet there in hindsight.

  “Too right,” Stewart said. “And I can’t blame you for how you reacted when you thought Brody was doing the same thing to you. It wasn’t your fault. But I can tell you as fact, Brody wouldn’t dump you after you gave him anything. He’s a sweetheart, he really is.”

  “I believe you’re right.” Chance remembered the way Brody would talk and talk after he sat next to him in class. He smiled at those memories. “But he could have told me.” Chance shifted his weight in the leather seat. “He could have told me a lot of things before he suddenly surprised me with that kiss. I had no idea he was gay and into me.”

  “Like I said, that’s Brody for you. He’s a great guy, honest, but he gets so caught up in his anxiety, he can’t quite see things from other people’s point of view sometimes. It’s not his fault; that’s why we all look out for him.”

  “A heck of a lot of people can’t see things from other people’s points of view. That’s why we have so much hate these days.”

  “True that.” Stewart turned the car onto Chance’s street. “But Brody’s genuine. He wouldn’t have deliberately hurt you, Chance. I’m telling you, hand on heart, he’s into you and has real feelings for you. Deep feelings. He just has no clue how to go about showing them and was scared you’d tell him to get lost.”

  “I get that now.”

  “Look, you started out on the wrong foot. No big deal. You’ll sort it out, I know it.”

  “If we find him, that is.”

  Stewart nodded that time, but again his expression was sombre. “I’ve thought of everywhere he could be. I’m out of ideas here, unless you have any.”

  At that moment, as they approached Chance’s house, an idea struck him. “Turn the car around, Stewart. There’s one more place where I think he could be.”

  “Right-o!” And with that, Stewart spun the steering wheel, doing a donut over the previous burnt rubber on the road. Chance was flung around like a rag doll. Thank God, he had his seatbelt on. “Tell me where it is, and we’ll be there before you know it.”

  “Lake Forest—the jetty carpark next to the boathouse.”

  Stewart’s face hardened with determination. “On it.”

  “And we’d better be quick about it,” Chance suggested. “It’ll be dark soon.”

  “And cold. Brody’ll freeze out there if we don’t find him.”

  Chance’s stomach knotted to unbelievable tightness. He really hoped Brody was at Lake Forest. Really hoped.

  7

  Approaching the Lake Forest exit off the highway, Chance’s heart pounded to the point of making him giddy. But not in a good way. He ached all over, nerves and anxiety playing havoc within him. If Brody was there, would he accept Chance, be open to talking things out at least? Or had that bridge been burnt beyond repair?

  All Chance could think about was Brody’s message to Stewart: if Chance really wants to be with me, he’ll find me.

  Stewart pulled into the carpark, making sure to rev the engine just because he could, grinning from ear to ear. Show off; although, Chance had to admit, if Stewart were into guys, he’d find him very attractive and be so into him right about now. Not only was he kind and gentle—despite his bravado—he had proven he was accepting, too.

  Those thoughts were struck from his mind as Chance could just make out Brody sitting on the jetty, shrouded within the gloom of the approaching evening. Not only did relief wash over him because he was right about where Brody was—and that Brody was safe—but every organ within him decided to get in on the act, making his insides turn and heave uncomfortably like he was on a roller-coaster ride. Chance was overjoyed, nervous, anxious, and at the point of tears of joy knowing Brody was here waiting for him.

  BRODY SIMPSON WAS WAITING FOR HIM.

  Stewart revved the engine again, bringing Chance back to reality. “You really know how to charm people, don’t you, Stewart?”

  He winked. “Sure do. How’s those legs of yours? Nice and open yet?”

  “Very funny.”

  “I know I am.” Stewart turned off the engine. “Now, go sort things out with Brody, ‘cause you were right. He’s here.”

  Chance patted Stewart on the shoulder, but nerves ruled him. What would Brody say? “Thanks for everything, Stewart.”

  “Hey, don’t mention it.”

  Chance got out of the car, his footsteps echoing on the wooden boards of the jetty moments later. As he approached Brody, his throat tightened, and he found it hard to breathe. Brody was huddled up, looking over the water that reflected the last gasp of the day perfectly with its dying colours of orange and red. He looked sad. He hadn’t moved since they arrived; intentionally or not, Chance couldn’t tell.

  For a moment, doubt crossed Chance’s thoughts. What if Brody didn’t want to see him? What if he told him to get lost despite what he told Stewart? Chance deserved it. He’d done the same to Brody, after all.

  “Don’t forget to tell him how you feel,” Stewart called from his ute’s cabin. “I’ll be here if you need me for support.”

  With Stewart’s support giving him hope and courage, Chance didn’t hesitate. Determination came over him, like a second wind.

  He ran to Brody.

  As he did so, he discovered that he was no longer nervous. Sure, he was all sweaty palms and churning insides, but Chance could now quantify why his body was doing that. Why he felt warm as well.

  He had feelings for Brody.

  Deep feelings.

  Those feeling had been there all along, since that day Chance turned around after opening his locker and Brody was standing there smiling at him, his beautiful brown eyes twinkling. He just hoped he wasn’t realizing it too late.

  When he got to the end of the jetty, he caught his breath for a moment. “I’m glad I found you,” Chance said as he sat next to Brody, but not too close.

  “I knew you would.” Brody’s voice sounded neutral; no emotion Chance could use to gauge how he felt about being found.

  “Are you cold?”

  “I am.”

  “Can I put my arm around you, then?”


  Brody looked up. Chance’s insides flipped at the sight of the boy’s beautiful browns bordered by red. He’d been crying.

  They’d both been crying.

  For each other.

  That made Chance feel something strange. Something he hadn’t felt for a long time. It was hope. His mum was right. Again. Bless her.

  “Do you want to put your arm around me?”

  “I do.” Chance did so; it felt good holding Brody again.

  Really good.

  Brody shuffled so he was closer to Chance, snuggling into him. He also put his head on Chance’s shoulder. The boy smelt of the outdoors, the Eucalyptus forest combined with that familiar musk and manliness Chance loved.

  “I’m sorry,” Brody began, his voice hitching in his throat for a moment. “I should have explained myself better to you. I should have—”

  “It’s okay. I should have heard you out.”

  “Please, let me finish.”

  “Okay.”

  Brody brought his other arm around Chance. “I should have told you I was gay and what my intentions were. I just couldn’t control myself because it had taken me so long to pluck up the courage to go over and talk to you. So, when I did, everything kind of exploded inside me. And yeah, you got to see me in all my messed-up glory. What with my feelings for you, and at the same time being the new captain of the team…it’s a wonder I wasn’t worse.”

  “I shouldn’t have built up those walls so you couldn’t get in.”

  “You had every right to do so. I did the same when I had to go live with my grandparents.”

  “Your grandparents look after you, don’t they?”

  Brody nodded. “My parents abandoned me when I was ten. That’s why I have anxiety and need to take meds for it. And the anxiety is why I’m full-on at the best of times and why I forget a lot of things, too. Like when I was supposed to be at practice but was with you instead.”

  Chance giggled. “You’re not full-on. Just different.”

  “I don’t regret being late for practice.” Brody put his hand onto Chance’s knee; warmth radiated up Chance’s legs from his touch. “I loved kissing you and I’m sorry I cut it short but I got overwhelmed once I found out where I should have been because of my other commitments. I should have chosen a day when I didn’t have practice to kiss you and ask you to be my boyfriend.”