Feel My Love: The Damaged Series - Book Two

by Shayne McClendon

  When Baylor rocked to a stop in the parking lot of a rundown clinic, Leo was storming through the doors in seconds. “Amelia Whitehall, where is she?”

  The nurse looked terrified. “I-I can’t…”

  “I’m her father!” Gil shouted. “I demand to see my daughter immediately.”

  The nurse pointed through double doors. Leo didn’t wait for more. Baylor stayed on his heels as he slammed the doors hard enough to crack on the walls.

  The place was dark and cold. In the back of the building, there were several private exam rooms. A whimper then a scream made Leo take off at a run.

  He exploded through the doors of the only room with lights on. Stumbling to a stop, he took in the sight of his Amelia bleeding out on a gurney.

  Nothing else mattered. He had to get her to a real hospital. Moving further into the room, Amelia was in so much pain she barely registered his presence.

  “We have to get her to a hospital!” he screamed.

  Gil used a wall phone to call the police. Explaining the situation and location in under ten seconds, he said, “We will be speeding and we will not stop for any reason until we reach a hospital.”

  Sarabeth and Alejandro grabbed blankets from a shelf and spread them out on the other gurney in the room. Leo scooped Amelia into his arms and placed her on the clean bedding. He wrapped her snuggly, lifted her, and held her tight against his body.

  He told her, “I’m going to get you to a real doctor. It’s going to be alright. I’m so sorry, Amelia.” Walking through the clinic, he said, “Gil, you can take Augusta’s car. I’m getting Amelia out of this butcher shop.” As he got in the backseat with Amelia, he barked at Baylor, “Get us there. Get us there fast.” The man nodded.

  Baylor closed him inside and his mother got in the back with him, supporting Amelia’s lower body on her lap.

  Blood was already soaking through the new blankets and it took everything inside Leo to keep from screaming in terror.

  “Amelia, you have to stay with me, honey.” Her face was slick with sweat, her hair plastered to her skin. If he hadn’t held her so firmly, the tremors rocking her frame would have pulled her out of his grip. “It’s going to be alright. Stay with me, Amelia.”

  Her eyes rolled back in her head but she tried to focus. “Leo…it hurts. You came for me. You came for me, Leo.”

  Placing his forehead against hers, he fought tears and lost. “Of course I came for you, Amelia. I’ll always come for you. I love you. I know you’re hurting and tired, but you have to stay awake. Stay awake and fight. Do it for us, honey. Stay awake and fight.”

  Her voice was weak and hoarse from her earlier screams. “I love you, Leo. Loving you is the thing I did exactly right from the start.”

  “You did. You loved me exactly right.” Tears running down his face, he smoothed her damp hair away from her ghostly face, “We’re almost there. You can fight for me, Amelia. Fight for me.” Two state troopers pulled in front and behind them. One led the way going almost a hundred, full lights, and sirens blaring. “Baylor, please get us there. Please.”

  There was hospital staff waiting at the ER entrance when they pulled in. Amelia passed out with a scream as they lifted her to the bed that was already rolling inside. They were calling details to one another while a nurse stepped up to take her information.

  Leo and his mother were covered in Amelia’s blood. Sarabeth held his arm and it was obvious she was in emotional shock with no clue what to say.

  Gil entered a few minutes later but Augusta was strangely absent. Pale and shaking, he gave the hospital staff their daughter’s medical history. He explained what he knew about how she’d come to be in her current condition.

  Leo announced loudly to everyone in the hallway, “Amelia is going to need blood. Her dad, my mother, and I are all matches. We’re safe for her, take what you need.”

  The nurse led them to triage and Leo watched their fathers through the glass talking to one of the doctors and the police officers who’d escorted them to the hospital.

  The next hours passed slowly.

  Near dawn, a specialist was called in to try and repair the massive damage done to Amelia’s womb by the supposed doctor who had performed an antiquated abortion on her.

  Leo would commit murder if the man was available.

  Head in his hands, he pulled at his hair. Then he shouted, “If she was going to do this - take our child from us - there were safer options. She didn’t have to take Amelia to some slaughterhouse in the middle of the fucking night with a quack. He might as well have used a coat hanger!”

  His mother rubbed his back. “I don’t know, Leo. It didn’t have te be this way.” He lifted burning eyes to look at her and she smoothed his hair from his forehead. “I wanted ye both to have a chance te live but,” she shrugged, “things happen. Ye’re in love, ye’re both smart. That baby woulda been fine. I can’t understand.”

  Alternately pacing and sipping orange juice, Leo waited outside the operating wing. Gil came to sit beside him, his body slumped in defeat. “I know you’ll never forgive me, Leo. I’m sorry. I’ll never let her down again.”

  Leo said nothing. There was nothing he could say.

  As the sun was rising, Augusta swept into the hospital as if she owned the place. She’d clearly showered and changed her clothes. She’d even taken the time to style her hair.

  “You there. I’m here to see Amelia Whitehall.”

  Leo glanced at his parents and Gil - all of whom were in shock and looking much the worse for wear. “You needed to put makeup on, Augusta?” His voice was low, vibrating with rage. Baylor stepped slowly from the wall. “You went home and took your time getting ready in case there was a photo op?”

  “I’m not here for you! I’m here to see my daughter. Stay out of my way…”

  Leo threw his cup of orange juice in her face and she started screaming about her hair.

  “Fuck you, Augusta. You don’t have a daughter in this hospital. I filled out a detailed police report. If I have anything to say about it, you’ll never be allowed within a mile of Amelia again. You’re an animal.”

  “How dare you…”

  Leo wrapped his fingers around her throat and held her against the wall beside the nurse’s station. “I dare because you almost killed Amelia. You killed our child.” He dropped his voice and added softly, “If I were to kill you right now, I could definitely get away with a crime of passion.” He pulled her away from the wall and smacked her against it again. “I want to choke the life out of you. I want to watch the same terror in your eyes that you made Amelia feel.”

  “Leo,” his mother said gently. She placed her hand on his arm. “Let her go now, son. This won’t help. Think about Amelia, Leo. Ye don’t have time te fight a murder case. Ye’d win...I’d make sure o’ that...but we don’t have time, son. Let her go now.”

  Slowly lifting one finger at a time, he released Augusta. “You are despicable. Less than human. How the fuck Amelia turned out so perfect with you as a mother, I will never know.”

  Leo walked to the other side of the room and sat with his head in his hands.

  “Augusta.” Sarabeth’s voice was kind. Amelia’s mother glanced up and Leo’s mom slapped her as hard as she could across the face. “You are a disgrace as a mother. You’ve sold one small piece of her at a time. You deserve to lose everything…absolutely everything that matters to you.” In shock, Augusta stared at her with her fingers over her red cheek. Sarabeth reared back and slapped the other side. “You sicken me. They were old enough and had the resources to care for a child. You had no right.”

  She sat beside Leo and held his hand hard. A moment later, Gil and Alejandro joined them. They all glared at Augusta on the other side of the room. She lowered slowly into a chair without a word.

  The woman who had caused so much pain out of her twisted need to live through her daughter.

  When the doctor came out of surgery, Gil and Leo were the first ones on their feet. �
��She’s going to be alright. She’ll have to stay here for a few days to recover.” Clearing his throat, he added quietly, “We couldn’t save her uterus. It had to be removed to stop the hemorrhaging. We did everything we could to avoid it. I’m so sorry.”

  Leo stumbled back several steps and went to his knees, sobbing brokenly. “She took our child and all our future children. Stole them away as if it didn’t matter. A child created from pure love on the happiest day of my life. A symbol of everything good between us.”

  Augusta stood against the wall, shaking her head in horrified denial. “It was supposed to be safe,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean for this to happen.” She started to cry but no one went to her.

  Leo grieved the losses in painful tears and then pulled himself together. He had to be strong for Amelia.

  No matter what, he had to be strong.

  Chapter Ten

  Amelia was in and out of consciousness. Leo never left her side. His parents brought him food he barely ate and tried to get him to sleep.

  He didn’t dare sleep.

  At one point, Amelia’s eyes fluttered open, she struggled to focus on him beside her hospital bed, and she whispered hoarsely, “Leo, I-I think I’m pregnant.”

  Hysteria and agony crawled through Leo’s chest.

  Leaning forward, he took her hand between both of his. Soothingly, he whispered, “I don’t want you to worry about anything but getting well. Let yourself heal and then you’re coming to live at my house. We talked to your dad and he agreed that it’s the best thing for you.”

  Confused, she murmured, “Live with you? I-I’d love to live with you…” The pain medication pulled her back under and he watched as her eyes drifted closed.

  Sobbing painfully hard, he pressed his forehead to the back of her hand. “I’m sorry, Amelia. I’m so fucking sorry, sweetheart. I never should have left you in that house. You get better, just get better, and we can face the rest together.”

  When she woke fully thirty-six hours after being admitted, her memories were disjointed and chaotic. There were huge blank spots containing nothing due to the blood loss and trauma she’d been through.

  For a long moment, she stared at the ceiling. Then she turned her head and looked at Leo with a frown. “What happened to me? Why am I in the hospital?”

  Standing, he stroked his fingers through her tangled hair. “It’s okay, Amelia. Everything is going to be okay…”

  “Leo!” She gasped and pressed her hand to her stomach. She started crying softly and moaned, “Oh, no. No, no, no.”

  Closing his eyes, he told her through tears he fought to keep from falling, “You’re safe, Amelia. I swear it. Please.”

  “Look at me. Look at me, Leo.” He opened his eyes and stared into hers. The moment they made contact, he wasn’t able to control the pain, the hurt, that welled up. She ordered him, “Tell me what happened.”

  Tears slipped over his cheeks. He cupped the side of her head and took her hand. “I love you. More than my own life, Amelia...I love you.”

  Barely able to speak, she repeated, “Tell me, Leo.”

  “We can talk about everything when you’re better. I just want you well and out of this hospital.”

  Gripping his hand as hard as she could, she asked, “What happened to me, Leo? You have to tell me.”

  He lifted his head and stroked her hair back from her face. She was delicate compared to him. He’d never realized how fragile she truly was until this moment.

  “You’ve been through enough, Amelia. Please...”

  “You never hide things from me, Leo. I-I trust you to always be honest. Just...whatever it is, I need you to tell me.”

  Nodding, he closed his eyes to collect himself. He took a deep breath and faced the woman he loved with news he never, ever imagined having to say.

  “You were drugged and walked out of the house through the garage; probably before they would have fully hit you. There were opiates in your system. Augusta drove you to a clinic and arranged for some quack to do a backroom abortion.”

  “No, Leo! No!” She released a keening wail that almost broke him. He carefully gathered her in his arms and held her while she sobbed against his shoulder.

  “I’m sorry, Amelia. It’s going to be okay. I swear it. I love you, I love you, I love you.”

  She alternately rambled incoherently and screamed in devastation until a nurse entered to sedate her. As she drifted away, she moaned, “Our baby...our baby, Leo.”

  Struggling for air, he held himself up on the rail of her bed as his tears fell to the sheets beside her. Eventually, he went to his knees, still holding her hand.

  It was how his mother found him. “Come, Leo. Come, darlin’.” She helped him to his feet and into a chair. Grabbing one of the blankets they’d brought for him, she wrapped it around his shoulders. “Breathe, son. I need ye te breathe for me, Leo. Slow and steady now.”

  She opened a bottle of water. “Drink. Sip until it’s gone. That’s it.” She crouched beside the chair until the bottle was empty. “Look at me, sweetheart.”

  Somehow, he managed it. She wiped his face and raked her fingers through his hair before taking his hand.

  “Breathe and listen te me, Leo. I know yer pain is bad. I know ye’re grievin’. I’m breakin’ for the both of ye.” She held his cheek. “She’s gonna be a wreck. Ye know that, aye?” Leo nodded. “It’s gonna be worse than ye imagine. As bad as ye’re hurtin’, Amelia is gonna be lost. Ye gotta be strong enough to keep her steady. Yer dad and I will help.”

  “I don’t know how to tell her the rest...I can’t do it, Mom.”

  She kissed the back of his hand. “Ye can and ye must. It has te come from ye, Leo. Not her parents or yers, not some doctor she doesn’t know. It has te be ye, son.”

  Standing, she pulled him to his feet and pointed to the bathroom. “Go clean up. I put things in there ye need. Then eat the food I brought and get yer feet under ye. No one is as strong as ye’ve always been, son. This too shall pass.”

  Shuffling across the room, Leo did as she told him. He quickly showered, changed his clothes, and brushed his teeth.

  Staring at his reflection, he whispered, “Don’t let her down. No matter what happens, you cannot let her down.”

  Somewhat energized, he returned to Amelia’s bedside and lowered into a chair. His mother kept him company, reminding him to eat bite by bite until he finished a full meal.

  Terrified and heartsick, he settled in to wait for his girl to wake up...so he could give her more awful news. Once it was all out of the way, she could start healing.

  He imagined the road would be rocky in the coming months.

  * * *

  As Amelia opened her eyes, she turned her head. Leo was dozing fitfully in the chair a few feet away. He looked uncomfortable, exhausted, and thinner.

  Placing her hand on her abdomen, she remembered their talk and let the pain wash over her.

  Her baby. Leo’s baby. Gone.

  Tears slipped from the corners of her eyes but she cried silently. She could only imagine how scared Leo had been for her and knew he needed rest. When he professed to love her more than his own life, Amelia knew he meant it.

  Just as she meant it.

  For almost an hour, she watched the expressions on his face and knew he was having a bad dream.

  Suddenly, he startled awake and shook himself. His eyes met hers and he said groggily, “I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I’m sorry, Amelia.”

  She shook her head. “You need it.” Pausing, she took a deep breath. “You’ve been here the whole time. I know you.”

  Scrubbing his hands over his face, he admitted, “You wouldn’t have left my side either. I wanted to be here. Watching you breathe reminded me that I still had what matters most, Amelia.”

  Searching for the remote to the bed, she raised herself a bit. Smoothing the bedding, she raked her fingers through her hair with the hand that wasn’t attached to an IV.


  “How long have I been here?”

  “Almost two days,” he answered softly.

  “Tell me everything you remember, Leo. Every second.” She hesitated and then added, “Then tell me the rest.” He closed his eyes. “I know there’s more because you’re vibrating with stress. First, tell me what you know about that night. I have flashes but...nothing makes sense.”

  He told her about the phone call she made, visiting her father, and finding out where Augusta had taken her.

  “Abortion is legal in Illinois and other states. Why take me to some rundown clinic in the middle of the night?”

  Resting his elbows on his knees, he explained, “You’re eighteen. Any legitimate clinic would have required your consent. They certainly wouldn’t have performed the procedure on someone who was clearly drugged.”

  “She knew I never would have agreed to it.” He nodded and stared at the floor. “I-I almost died?”

  Pulling the chair closer, he reached out to take her hand. “You were hemorrhaging and they couldn’t stop it. You ended up needing several pints of blood…”

  She smiled tiredly. “You and your mom?” He nodded. “Thank you.” For almost a minute, she focused on breathing so she could find the strength to ask the question she needed an answer to. “How did they stop the bleeding, Leo?” He blinked against tears that didn’t stop. “Tell me the rest.”

  He swallowed hard and she could tell it hurt. “The-the way that person...did what he did…” His voice trailed away and she knew he was trying to be strong for her. “The p-procedure damaged your uterus. Punctured it in several places so badly that...they had to remove it.”

  Outside the room was the sound of carts rolling down the hall, the buzz of patients calling the nurse’s station, and visitors looking for the right room.

  Inside, it was silent as a tomb.

  Amelia stared at Leo without blinking or breathing for a long moment, processing what he was telling her.

  Then she whispered, “They removed my womb?” His face contorted in pain and he nodded, gasping on a sob. “They took it out to stop me from bleeding to death.”