Shadow

by Kara Swanson

  Her pixie dust immediately goes dark gray. Burning, acidic.

  It burns right through the dark magic. Tightening and contorting and swallowing it up so quickly that I almost can’t believe it. In a flash of sparks and the scent of burnt wood, all that is left is the sizzle filling the air, and Claire’s dust littering the Roger in singe marks. The ashen dust is already filling with color again.

  The black magic and my shadow are nowhere to be seen.

  Claire suddenly looks at me, concerned. “I didn’t realize your shadow would completely dissolve.”

  I give her a lopsided grin. “I couldn’t care less about my blooming shadow when I have you back.” I lean in and press my mouth against hers. I feel almost as weightless as her dust as Claire puts her arms around me. I melt into the sense of her, warm and wondrously alive.

  I trail small kisses up her nose and across her face. “I’m so glad you’re here.” My voice is uneven and trembly, and I don’t care.

  She drifts back just a bit and sweeps hands across her dripping dress of pixie dust. “I don’t quite remember what all happened.”

  “That may actually be for the better.”

  “How am I even here?”

  My gaze goes beyond her to Neverland. I take her hand and pull her away from the skeletal remains of the Jolly Roger. “I think it may have to do with the same reason the island is coming back to life.”

  We fly side by side, her dust filling the air and curling around me.

  I guide her higher, and we soar across the shore of Neverland, looking down at the island as it blooms before our very eyes. The craggy ground is now knit back together, and emerald grass is spreading across the jungle floor like a rolling carpet. The jungle itself is flourishing awake, trees springing up and growing taller than before, large, exotic plants filling the world with new color, and streams rushing with crystal clear water.

  It’s Neverland—but also not.

  We soar ever higher, getting a bird’s-eye now, and I realize the island is growing. Slowly getting bigger. New mountain crests are rising toward the clouds, and waterfalls and rivers are flowing over the land. The sirens’ lagoon has expanded. A dozen more waterfalls tumble and turn down into the pocket of water. Whole stretches of tropical foliage flicker, alight with the glow of pixies.

  Claire and I come to an abrupt halt, hovering. Her voice trembles. “Lily? The Lost Boys?” She asks the same question that is twisting my gut.

  But as we drift lower, we suddenly see the tribal queen emerge through the trees. Relief floods through me. I soar higher and spot more villagers exploring the new expanding corners of the island.

  Lily and her people are native to this place, born with its inception like many of the pixies. All a part of this world that is yawning and stretching awake again.

  I catch sight of a small group of bedraggled Lost Boys that look like they’re in an argument with a group of pirates trying to cast off in a rickety rowboat. I let out the other breath I didn’t know I was holding. I can’t make out how many of the boys there are, but at least some of them survived.

  “What is happening?” Claire asks me in a hushed voice.

  I tighten my hold on her as we continue to fly, the sun warming us both. “I think it’s our bond. The Soul Bond. It’s bringing the island back to life, just like it brought you back. But this is”—I brush a hand over my eyes, unable to even believe what I’m seeing—“this is so much bigger than it used to be.”

  Claire’s eyes shine. “Maybe this is how it was always meant to be? Maybe Neverland was never meant to stay so . . . small. So childlike.” She floats in closer, and I put an arm around her shoulders, pulling her against me. “Maybe, like us, Neverland was meant to grow. It was meant to bloom more beautifully and more colorful than before.”

  I know she’s right. I kiss the top of her head. “I think because of our connection to it, the magic of the island brought you back. A Soul Bond must have formed when you sacrificed yourself for Connor and me and for the island. Plus I stopped being a fool. There’s something about the magic of this world that is within us, Claire. It may have taken a bit of time to really sink in.” I gesture to the world beneath us. “Neverland has become a part of you.”

  “Now it’s a part of both of us.” Claire laughs. She sparkles at me. “This place is truly my home.”

  I soak in those bright blue eyes. Forget thimbles. The kiss I give her is quite grown-up.

  Neverland

  Quite Some Time Later

  Connor sleeps a lot.

  I knew something wasn’t right that day all those years ago, when I flew and landed beside him on the shore of Neverland. I watched the island inhale and begin to heal—but not Connor. Not quite. When he gained consciousness, my brother was so physically and emotionally broken he was hardly coherent. I offered to help mend all his wounds with my pixie dust.

  Tiger Lily said no.

  Connor had healing to do, deep healing, and it wasn’t the kind of thing one could do with magic. She took him deep into the jungle to be with some of her people and their healer.

  When he’s not sleeping, he’s painting. He is using watercolors to bring memories and emotions to life.

  I can’t visit him yet, but I know all this because I can see Connor in my dreams.

  When I close my eyes, it’s as if we’re sitting side by side, and Connor tells me how he’s doing. His healing is not fast or magical or easy. But it’s good. He is in the company of those who truly want his best, not their own selfish agenda. Lily’s people are teaching him to read the stars and find the destiny the Ever One wrote for him there.

  The bright light of the morning sun teases my eyelids.

  I yawn and roll over in my bed, instinctively sliding a hand across the space beside me, only to find it empty. I blink sleepily down at my hand where a ring sparkles against the warm, yellow sheets. The place where Peter is usually snoring or murmuring is empty.

  He’s not here. Not yet.

  Excitement starts to sing through me as I stretch and kick back the covers, the familiar pulse of Neverland and the sound of the island waking with me. I can hear the distant coo of birds and the howl of a Neverbeast. I smile at the lyrical chimes of pixies darting past my window.

  I put on a dress made of woven leaves and a silky pink sash the pixies crafted for me and loop a small pouch of worn leather on a string about my waist. Flakes of dust begin to drift into the air around me, making the dress glisten and immediately brightening the room. My bare feet glide across the floor to the door set into our round little thatch house. I nudge it open and soon am dancing on air.

  Our home is at the edge of Neverland, facing the second star to the right, so that I can always watch for Peter when he comes home to me. The little round villa hangs suspended in the trees, built by Lily’s people, but unlike their hanging villages, our home is free-floating. No need for ladders or bridges. Nestled like a little acorn in the lush jungle.

  I whisper good morning to Glimmer, who is sound asleep in one of the bows of thatch woven into our roof. The little pixie instantly arises and shoots after me as I soar away from the house.

  The air is crisp and fresh and inviting, and a little thrill still comes over me as I fly over this vibrant island that I’ve come to know so well. The places where it slopes upward into mountain peaks, where rich tropical foliage is alight with colorful birds and the gleam of pixies, and spots where sirens sun themselves against purple-hued rocks.

  There’s a twinge in my chest, knowing that, while the Pan will get to see this beautiful homecoming every time he returns, Paige chose instead to leave it all behind. Hook’s poison wasn’t meant to kill, only incapacitate, and when she eventually awoke, even with the world reborn, she didn’t want it.

  So she took a bit of pixie dust and flew away. As far as she could—until she crossed past Neverland, into the stars, and the water began to drip from her clothes again.

  Peter and I couldn’t watch after that. She wouldn’
t let anyone help her. Flew as far as she could. And a part of me prays that somehow she was able to outrun her curses. But even if she couldn’t, I think she wanted that. To live out the end of her life her own way.

  Glimmer chatters in her singsong voice as she perches on my shoulder, burrowing between the leafy folds of the straps of my dress. I pick up speed quickly crossing the mottled green canopy below. Pixies pop their heads out or flit up to wave at me, their wings iridescent and glowing a little brighter as they catch sight of us.

  I wave back as Glimmer continues to chatter in my ear, turning a bright pink from pride at being the one sitting on my shoulder and not merely one of the waving pixies.

  “Are you excited to see him?” I ask her as we close in on the center of the island. Glints of wooden verandas and thatch roofs speckle the leafy foliage below. We’ve reached the hanging villages.

  Glimmer does a happy little dance on my shoulder, tugging on one of my curls. “I wonder how many he’s bringing us!”

  “We’ll see, but I have to get something first. I will only be a minute.”

  I scan the intricate spread of newly finished houses and crisscrossing bridges until I spot a familiar wraparound porch and the two figures sitting at its edge, their legs dangling down. I go through an opening in the branches around Lily’s place and lightly land on the deck.

  The two on the porch immediately glance up. Lily’s eyes are the color of polished river stone, and they immediately twinkle at me. The silver threads of the elaborate stitching on her sleeveless teal dress shimmer as she leans forward. “Today’s the day?”

  “Yes! Did you get it?”

  She nods, and glances at the young man sitting beside her. The Lost Boy nods and then shakes out his thick hair to look at me through those almond eyes. “It took a while, but our crew finally managed to track down one.” Tootles is grinning, and once again I’m relieved at how well he is looking. It took a few months, but his full coloring is back, and he is no longer so gaunt. There’s a new kind of light in his eyes.

  It could also have something to do with the tribal queen sitting next to him, her fingers laced through his. Thank the stars, when Neverland bloomed back to life, the Dark Star reversed, and Tootles was able to come back as well.

  Tootles reaches into the pocket of his trousers and pulls out something thin and red that rustles in the wind. I gently take the feather, feeling the silkiness of it against my fingertips.

  “He’s going to totally flip when he sees this.” I don’t fight the slow smirk that tugs at my mouth as I peer at its vibrant crimson color. I toss Tootles and Lily a grateful look. “Thank you for finding it for me.”

  Tootles shrugs, but his face beams. “Eh, no problem. The Lost Boys needed something to do, anyway. And we all saw Peter sulk for days when he lost his other one. Back when he was . . .”

  “Younger.” I finish.

  He leans back on his hands, tipping his head up to the bright sky peeking through the leafy canopy. “Feels like a lifetime ago.”

  Tiger Lily gets to her feet, tossing her long braid over her shoulder. “But at the same time, it seems like yesterday.”

  I tuck the feather into the pouch slung at my side. “I’m just grateful we have a tomorrow to look forward to.”

  We look at each other, very quiet, thinking of the same thing. Of a Lost Boy with beautiful molasses skin and chocolate eyes who gave his life to try and rescue me. A life that couldn’t be restored, even when Neverland was. We were only able to restore what was touched by the Dark Star, not the ache of those taken before it was created.

  Some losses not even magic can change.

  Some losses all we can do is grieve and promise to never forget.

  I think Nibs would love this new Neverland.

  Lily speaks quietly, breaking into my thoughts. “I’ve got to find Cres. We’re meeting with the village elders about continuing the expansion, and also about Jeremy and Tansy’s upcoming visit.” She comes over to me and gently touches my arm. “I think this island is more than ready for some new blood. Go find that boy of yours.”

  I give her a smile. “Thanks. We’ll see you soon.”

  She puts a fist to her chest. “You better.”

  I let dust drift from my skin and lift me into the air. Glimmer nestles closer to my neck as I fly back up through the trees and out into the vibrant blue sky. I turn toward the northern end of the island, the one facing the second star to the right, and squint at the horizon.

  I pour on more speed, soaring over rippling brooks that race across mossy glades and past a little nook where a Neverbeast is playing with two small cubs. I reach the shore of Neverland and dip low over the water. My fingertips skim along the salty Neversea and soon skim over the rough scales of a large crocodile.

  I pause just long enough to nuzzle the creature a bit, that ticking noise almost drowned out by the toss of the waves. Those reptilian eyes follow my every movement but slide closed in contentment when I scratch under his jaw. He stays like that for a while, then sinks back beneath the waves.

  I notice a few dark forms gliding through the vibrant teal water. They poke up their heads and flash me toothy grins as they swish their tails.

  I grin at the sirens, and Glimmer dives a little deeper into my bun as I drift closer to them. Strange that it’s the sirens that unnerve her, not the massive crocodile I was just petting like some scaly feline.

  I spot Nyssa at the head of a small pod that are leaping and playing in a surge of waves. She sees me at the same moment and raises a webbed hand in greeting. I wave back at the sirens and playfully kick water at them but bank away before they can sweep their tails and thoroughly drench me.

  Glimmer mutters some choice words about the sirens, and I chuckle, flicking a few droplets of water at her. “You be nice. They’re my family too.”

  Suddenly my gaze snags on a familiar pirate ship, bobbing in the water, suspiciously close to the outskirts of Neverland.

  “Hold on!” I call out to Glimmer and dive swiftly to hover over the deck of the ship. Pirates bustle and rumble about the deck of the rebuilt Jolly Roger, and a certain scarlet-coated captain is standing at the prow, eyes lifted to the skies. He’s holding a pouch filled to bursting with pixie dust.

  “And just where are you going?” I ask, drifting just above Hook.

  The captain quirks a half smile. “Just a quick jaunt to London. And don’t worry—I traded with the pixies for some of their dust. I’ll bring you and Pan back some pastries if you’ll let it slide. You have my word we will be most discreet.”

  “Peter does love his chocolate cake,” I concede.

  Hook tosses me a salute, and with one last stern look at him, I’m off again. I do think he’ll keep his promise about being discreet. So far, there’s been a bridge of peacefulness maintained between the pirates and the rest of the island.

  And Peter does love his chocolate cake.

  More dust lifts from my skin and fills the air as I shoot upward, higher and higher, through the cloud layer and past the pull of gravity. I’m far enough to see the stars and swirl of galaxies beyond our floating island. The air up here feels thinner, different, and the stars that dance around us almost feel close enough to touch.

  But I know better than to try and fly any farther.

  I glance down at the world beneath me and am overwhelmed again at just how beautiful this place is. And how I spent so much of my life searching for somewhere to belong, somewhere to be.

  Neverland chose me. And I got to choose her back.

  Glimmer rustles from her place in my hair to sit on my shoulder. She starts jumping up and down and pointing and shouting excitedly. The whole world becomes much brighter, the island a little greener, and the frosty caps of the mountains thaw as I watch a silhouette emerge through the stars.

  He’s surrounded by my gleaming dust, wearing a silky pair of pixie-woven trousers made of ivy and leaves with bits of the ivy climbing up his tanned torso and cascading over his strong
shoulders. The closer he flies, I can see the way the ivy brings out the mischievous green of his eyes.

  But Peter Pan is not alone.

  He’s brought a small procession of children with him. A little girl clings to one of his hands, while a small boy is sitting on his shoulders, a massive, toothy grin sprawled across his face. Three other children follow just behind Peter—a boy who looks a little older than the others, and a look-alike brother and sister.

  My whole body thrums with excitement as Peter leads them closer to me. When he’s within reach, I throw myself at him, embracing him into a tight hug, careful of the little boy on his shoulders.

  “I’ve missed you!” I murmur to Peter and lean in to capture his mouth in a lingering kiss.

  The little boy perched on his shoulders makes a gagging noise.

  I let go of Peter and grin up at him. “Oh, you’ll do just fine here.”

  He lifts a brow. “Who are you?”

  The other children have spread out to float on either side of Peter, all peering wide-eyed at me and at Neverland sprawling below. Peter grins at them and gestures toward me. “Mates, I’d like you to meet my wife.”

  He sounds so happy to say it I want to cry.

  I reach up and gently dislodge Glimmer from where she’s hiding in my hair, suddenly shy. She climbs into my palm, and I bring my hand forward to let the children have their first glimpse at her. She gives them a little curtsy, and the children all gasp.

  My eyes shine as I smile at them. “This is Glimmer. She’s a pixie. And my name is Claire. I’m part pixie.”

  The children gape at me, and I laugh, sweeping a hand to send swirls of golden dust through the air. Their eyes grow round as saucers.

  My eyes catch Peter’s as I reach into the pouch at my side. “I have something for you.”

  “For me?” His features shine with that boyish curiosity as he gently rocks the little lad back and forth on his shoulders.

  I carefully remove the red feather from its hiding place and proudly present it to Peter. “I thought you might want to have one of these again.”