“That’s not fair or true.”
I studied him. “So, you don’t want to have sex with me?”
He stopped the car in an empty spot, shut it off, and turned to me. Although discomfort showed in the way he held his shoulder, heat blazed in his eyes. “Of course, I want to have sex with you. I can see, and you’re captivating. I’m saying that I was also considering that you should come to my unit—”
“But?”
“I. . .”
“What?”
He ran his fingers through his hair. “I think you would be a distraction and that I would spend my whole time trying to protect you. And even more, it terrifies me that some psycho could start terrorizing you. Take our recent Unsub for example. He’s writing you notes.”
“But—”
“I would rather you go back to missing persons. You were at a desk. Completely safe. It was a good position. There’s still upward mobility—”
“That’s ridiculous. You don’t tell me where I should be and why.” I left the car and stormed off.
My heels clanked against the pavement.
A door slammed behind me.
Alexander’s voice sounded next. “Haven.”
I stopped and spun around.
He walked over, got a few inches in front, and towered over me. Unfortunately, he still oozed hot sex. Even though I was angry with him, I wouldn’t have minded him taking that suit off.
He studied my face. “I’m sorry. I know my thinking is stupid and traditional—”
“Also, sexist and misogynist.”
“Not exactly misogynist. I want to protect you, but I understand that you’re more than capable of out-investigating me and any other agent in the unit.”
“You can’t hold me back because of—”
“You’re right. I can’t. No one can hold you back. You’re a force to be reckoned with.”
I opened my mouth and lost the words.
“Knowing my father, he’ll want you to stay. Especially if we solve this case.”
“But—”
“There are no buts. If you want to be in the unit, then that’s what will happen. You don’t need my recommendation for that. . .but. . .I would give it.”
“But. . .then, we can’t date.”
He fisted his hands at his sides. “That is correct. It wouldn’t be appropriate. No matter how much I would enjoy crossing that line.”
I blinked.
His expression grew annoyed. “There we have it. You may be permanent with us.”
“First, we’ll have to solve this case.”
He looked me up and down as if drawing my image in his mind. “We’ll catch him.”
“We will.”
He leaned my way. “But, make me a promise.”
“What?”
“If it gets too dangerous, then you go back to your desk.”
“I won’t.”
He hissed.
I placed my hands on my hips. “You go back to your desk if it gets too dangerous.”
“I will.”
I sucked my teeth. “You won’t.”
“In this moment, I say I will. Personally, if I go back to my desk, then we can date.”
I snorted.
“If all things were appropriate and following the rules, would you let me take you out?”
I swallowed.
“Haven?”
“Yes.”
“Interesting.” He licked his lips and walked away.
I headed after him. “What’s interesting?”
“You want me just as much as I want you.”
I got to his side. “I assumed that would be obvious.”
“How would I know?” He slowed his pace. “You’ve been nothing but professional. I’m the one that’s been toeing the line of inappropriateness.”
“No. You’ve been a gentleman.”
“You’re only saying that because you’re attracted to me. If you weren’t, you might have thought differently.”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter now.”
“It does.”
“I’m saying that. . .we can’t date.”
He shrugged. “We’ll see.”
“What do you mean, we’ll see? I’m staying in the unit if I can.”
“I know. But then maybe, I should leave.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I damn sure need a vacation.”
“What?” I gently grabbed his arm and stopped him. “You can’t leave ViCAP. Everyone calls it the King’s Men. You are the unit.”
“No. I’m actually not.” He moved his arm and gestured for me to come with him. “Either way, we’ll talk about that later. Everyone is already inside. I don’t want your mother thinking that I don’t take church serious.”
I hurried after him. “You can’t leave the unit.”
“It sounds crazy and ridiculous, but the problem is that I want to date you. Very badly. And if you continue to do what you’re doing to me in our suite, leaving the unit for a short time may be an option.”
“What? Bullshit. You can’t go just to date me.”
“Cursing?” He pointed at the church. “Really, Haven? This is the house of God.”
“You don’t even go to church.”
He took my hand. My body warmed at the contact. He guided me along and slipped his thumb along my wrists. “Have I told you how gorgeous you look today? Is that appropriate?”
“It’s not appropriate, but I still appreciate it.”
“Hmmm. I’m your supervisor. At some point, I’ll need to behave.”
“Wait until Monday. We’re off right now.”
He gazed at me and licked those lips again. “So, you like my flirting?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You basically did. You also confessed that you wanted to have sex with me.”
“I did not. You said that.”
He shook his head. “Just try to contain yourself as we go to church.”
I giggled. “Whatever, Agent King.”
We headed up the stairs.
Before we could enter the church, he stopped me. “I really am sorry about what I said earlier. It’s not fair that I look at you differently from other agents. I see you and I want to hold and protect you, not drag you into a morgue to investigate dead bodies.”
“But that’s what I was put on Earth to do.”
He leaned his head to the side. “You believe that?”
“I do. I’m not a fan of dead bodies, but I don’t fear them like others. Serial killers scare me, but I’m not terrified by them. I hear about one, and I want to find and chase him away. I go into the danger instead of run. The world needs people like you and me. The sort that will race after the monsters, verses fear them.”
“You’re right.”
“That’s why I shouldn’t be at a desk.”
He nodded. “Correct again. Somehow I’ll have to get over my old ideals.”
“You will.”
“And somehow, I’ll have to figure out another solution to our dating.”
I blinked and kept my voice low. “You will.”
“But for now, we’re not Agent Barron and Agent King today. We’re just a man and woman on a Sunday in the South.”
“We are.”
He guided me away. “Which is why I’m still nervous about meeting your mother.”
I laughed. “Don’t worry about it. She’s harmless.”
“If your mother is anything like you, then I’ll have to be on my toes.”
I considered that and nodded. “Fair point, Mr. King. My mother is no fool. She will be watching you.”
Chapter 20
The Price of Admission
Alexander
I can’t believe I pushed dating or admitted I didn’t want her in the unit. Stupid.
It was all true and very much caveman.
Usually, I thought in progressive ways.
Clearly, women were equal to men. I had nothing but faith in Haven’s skills as an agent.
But I wanted her bad. I yearned to kiss her lips, drank from her essence, and lose control. All my life I kept a tight rein on my desires and behavior. With her, I found I didn’t want to follow any rules or even do the theorized right thing. With her, I craved the excitement that only a soft, warm woman could bring to a lonely heart like mine.
Haven made me crazy.
What is done is done. Focus on this moment.
We went on our way, entering the church hand-in-hand.
Still, I thought of Haven’s words.
“I go into the danger instead of run.”
That wouldn’t happen on my watch. Even though I promised to treat her differently, I wouldn’t. How could I not protect her? What kind of man would I be? She was good enough to lust over. Good enough to crave. But not good enough to safeguard and defend?
God, what am I saying?
There was no reason to bring up dating at this time, yet I did.
Usually, I had more finesse.
We’re on a damn case, and I’m asking her out. I’m declaring that I’ll be her protector and she can’t investigate serial killers.
We hadn’t even kissed, and I knew I would want to protect her. I hadn’t even felt the warmth of her arms under silk sheets. I hadn’t made love to her within the moonlight.
And still I talked to her—I proposed things—as if she was already mine.
Would I really leave the unit just to date her?
The possibility was getting more real as I held her hand. It was soft, warming me down to my bones. It was the best thing that had happened to me all month. After dealing with monsters for these past years, it felt good to be under a lovely woman’s attention.
It wasn’t like I had been a Pope for these years. I’d slept with many women and had my share. None lasted pass a few weeks. None could understand me unless they had been in my shoes and saw the day-to-day horror that I experienced.
But Haven would understand. She’d witnessed the terror of this world. Already, she’d stood by my side and helped to chase down bad guys with me. And it felt good. I’d had partners—Stein being one of my favorites. But this was different. She smelled so sweet and enticed me with those lovely curves. Listening to her enchanting voice soothed me and made me feel less alone in this fucked up world.
At least she knows how I feel.
Her presence in my bedroom had given me some of the best sleep of my life. Usually, I got no rest during a case, needing to drink lots of coffee in the morning. Since she’d been in my room, I relished in her existence, loving every moment.
Strolling through the church’s lobby, we approached another door.
A beautiful older black woman stood by it. I swore she held a familiarity, but I couldn’t place it.
Haven shook her head. “Mom, why are you out here?”
Mrs. Barron strolled over to us. “I thought I was going to have to head to Saint Mary’s and get you.”
“Mom, you know I’m not going to miss church this Sunday.” Haven let go of my hand and hugged her.
Mrs. Barron stepped back from her daughter and turned to me. She kept a stern expression as she assessed me with her gaze.
Haven gestured to me. “This is Special Agent King.”
“Nice to meet you.” I extended my hand to Mrs. Barron. “You can call me Alexander.”
“Nice to meet you too.” She shook my hand. “You’re a good-looking man.”
That caught me off guard. “Oh. . .thank you.”
I lowered my hand and returned to holding Haven’s. I couldn’t get enough of her touch, even though it was such a subtle gesture. And if I had to sit in church for this long, I would seize any opportunity for skin-to-skin contact.
“Very good-looking.” Mrs. Barron checked me out again. “No wonder you two are late.”
She caused me to blush for the first time this year.
“Mom, really?” Haven widened her eyes. “He’s my supervisor.”
Mrs. Barron gave her a wicked grin. “That’s why you two are holding hands. He’s supervising?”
“Oh.” Haven tried to leave my hand, but I wouldn’t let her. “Alexander was helping me up the stairs.”
“I bet he was.”
“Mom.”
“I’m just saying. Nothing wrong with holding hands.” Mrs. Barron got on my other side, took my free hand, and guided us forward. “Now, let’s listen to what the Lord wants to tell us today.”
That went. . .well. . .I think.
Haven gave me an embarrassed smile.
A woman dressed in white stood by the double door. As soon we came near, she opened it and handed us a white program with black letters. Unfortunately, I had to let go of both women’s hands to get it.
Let’s see what we have today.
Following Haven and her mother inside, I skimmed over the program. It appeared that we would be in church for a good three hours at least. I stifled my groan.
How many people need to talk? And can’t some of these activities be done on another day? Church announcements? Why not send everyone an email?
I forced myself to deal with it. This was Haven’s church. She’d grown up here. Her mother still served and worshiped in this building. But even more than that, all of the victims had attended.
Tension rose in my shoulders.
Wait a minute. All of the attendants were members of this church? No. That can’t be right. Some of the victims must’ve gone to another church.
Mrs. Barron led us to the fourth pew. One by one, we turned into it and sat down. Many people looked our way. Several whispered to each other when they spotted me. I was sure all knew who I was and why I had come to town.
I adjusted my tie. It felt like it was tightening around my neck, all on its own. Breathing in and out, I made myself relax. Still, many continued to look at me and then talk among themselves.
Okay. This is just as awkward as I thought it would be. Let’s hope this finishes faster.
It would be impossible to hide in here, especially since I was the only white man in the church—one that had been in the newspapers and tv shows, discussing the Fullbrooke Six.
Haven leaned my way and whispered, “Sorry. Most come to church for God. The rest come to gossip.”
“I’m still glad you’re here. Right next to me.”
She nudged my shoulder. “That’s right. I’ll protect you.”
I kept my laughter in. “Thank you.”
She winked. “I try.”
My thoughts from earlier came back.
“I have a question.” I kept my voice low. “How many of the victims do you think went to this church?”
“All of them.”
Tension gathered in my shoulders. “Are you sure?”
“Definitely.”
I screwed my face in annoyance. “That couldn’t be right. How would we have missed that?”
“It probably wouldn’t have come up with Felicia Drake—the first victim. She was taken while walking home. There was no need to wonder about the twelve-year old’s church affiliation.”
I groaned. “And what about our second victim, Karen Brookes?”
“Yes. I know her mother, Shelly. She’s in the first pew on the left side. Mom said that Pastor Miller has all the Fullbrooke Six’s parents sitting in the first two pews now, so the congregation will never forget and also give added support to them in this time of need.”
I turned that way. I spotted Mrs. and Mr. Drake right next to Shelly Brooks.
The second victim Karen Brooks had been taken right before ballet class. Her mother had dropped her off in the front but didn’t get out of the car. She’d watched her daughter walk inside and then drove off.
All of the victims went to this church.
In front of us, the church choir rose. Everyone wore royal blue robes. The congregation stood too, signaling me to get up from my seat. The piano played. Drums boomed. And a man strummed a guitar.
Okay. This won’t be too bad. I’m liking t
his song.
We all clapped along as the choir began to perform an upbeat tune. Those soulful voices filled the air and moved through me. They traveled up to the rafters. They echoed along the walls. Never before had I experienced something so powerful, so harmonious that my bones tingled, and my heart warmed.
This is God.
I imagined their song coming close to bursting open the door and shattering all of the car windows in the parking lot.
Now I see why everyone drags themselves out of bed in the morning. This singing is worth the price of admission.
Unable to help myself, I moved to the music, stomping my feet like I saw a few and clapping my hands to the drummer’s beat.
Haven giggled.
Her mother shoved her. “Let that boy enjoy himself.”
I shook my head at Haven. “You’re just jealous of my moves.”
This choir was different compared to other choirs I’d experienced. Their voice was almost like angels. Their high notes soared over the clouds. The graceful lyrics danced as if they sang for God only.
And they crooned about how God was the creator of it all. The hope. The power. The love. I did my best to keep the beat with everyone else. In some moments, I actually wanted to add a little jump and a kick. I was close to falling into the rhythm and losing control.
Yet, those first two pews on the left caught my attention again. While a few of the parents stood, most remained seated. A few swayed, but sorrow covered their faces.
That brought my spirits down. It forced me to push back my enjoyment of the choir’s songs and remember why I’d come to this church in the first place.
Maybe, I shouldn’t even be here. I should be out and looking some more.
And then that earlier thought hit me again.
But all the victims went to this church.
Unpopular opinion or not, the Unsub was probably here right in this moment, enjoying this song, and staring right at Haven and me.
I scanned the place.
While many of the congregation sung along and clapped, others stood and glared at me.
I returned my view to the Fullbrooke Six’s parents. There were kids in the pews too. Most of the victims had sisters and brothers. Some older. Some younger.
I spotted the Waterson’s family. The third victim, Ariana Waterson had been at Sunday School that morning when the Unsub snatched her away. I saw Mr. and Mrs. Waterson, but not her older brother. The one I had caught at the scene of the last victim’s reveal—Melody. We’d heard a noise and chased the sound. In the end, it was just a teenaged boy who had thought he could help find his sister’s killer. I’d failed at keeping the disappointment out of my heart. For one beautiful minute, I’d thought we might’ve had the maniac.
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