Learning Curve

by Jaxon, Andi

  Above me, Dan pulls a cigar, cutter, and lighter from his pocket. He knew damn well how this was going to go, as he snips off the end and holds it between his lips while he lights it, the stench of tobacco filling the room. He circles me while puffing on the cigar, choosing where the first burn will go, then crouches in front of my stomach. Without any warning, the bright orange tip is pressed against the soft flesh of my abdomen. A scream rips from my throat surprising even me, and the stench of burning skin mixing with tobacco turns my stomach. My knees instinctually try to come up to protect my stomach, but his feet are in the way, I’m sure he planned it that way. My body trembles as my nerves try to assimilate what is happening.

  As calm as can be, Dan puts the cigar back between his lips and lights it again, puffing on it to get the bright orange glow before pressing it against me once again. Over and over he does this, never reacting to my screams. None of it fazes him, like he’s clipping coupons from the Sunday paper.

  Somewhere around the fifteenth mark, he goes to get another cigar, giving me a much-needed break. Panting, in more pain than I can contemplate, I lay on the cold subfloor and think of Alister. Is he worried about me? Is he looking for me? Is he angry I missed meeting his parents? Does he think I ran to avoid it?

  All too quickly, Dan is back with another fucking cigar and moves to crouch behind me. He’s already ruined my chest and stomach, gotten the front of my thighs, so it must be time to ruin the rest of me. Tears have flooded my face, rolling down to drip onto the floor. The burning pushes into me again, agony greets me, but this time, I’m able to curl up. The pressure against the new burns hurts but my mind doesn’t care, the fetal position is what it wants.

  My back, butt, and thighs get burns by the time he’s done. I’ve made it through them all without passing out, and now I get hot broth, though I doubt my stomach will handle it well. With my luck, I’ll throw it all back up and be forced to live with the smell of that as well.

  Without a word, Dan leaves the room, not bothering to lock the door since there’s no way in hell I can escape in my condition, and comes back in with a steaming mug. Shifting to my knees, I’m barely able to sit up. My hands are shaking so bad from the pain and cold I almost dump the mug in my lap when he hands it to me. Using both hands on the mug, which is burning my skin, I’m able to bring it to my lips and drink. The liquid scalds my mouth but warms my body from the inside, heat radiating from my stomach. I’m careful to take small sips even though I want to chug it, my empty stomach needs time to adjust.

  My body is screaming, every inch of it desperate for relief with none in sight, but I’m able to keep the broth down. No longer does my stomach cramp with hunger pains, and maybe I’ll be able to get a little sleep…

  Chapter Forty-Two

  ALISTER -

  Sunlight shining in my face wakes me, and it takes me looking around for a minute to realize I’m still at my parents’ house. My head is pounding, my mouth tastes like shit, and my bladder is screaming for relief. I get up and make my way to the bathroom. I have no idea what time it is or how I ended up in my old bedroom, but I’m betting Alex and Dad had to carry me.

  Thinking of Alex reminds me that he was making a call about Ben. I’m done taking a piss and rinsing my mouth, so I head to the living room in search of answers. I need answers. The closer I get to the living room, the more voices I hear, the more confused I get.

  “Can you stop thinking with your dick for one second and listen?” a familiar female voice snaps.

  “Look, doll face, I can’t go barging into someone’s house without probable cause, and you saying you think Ben’s in there is not probable cause,” Alex says, his arms crossed over his chest.

  “I’m a journalist, so I know what probable cause means. How about you go to the house for a welfare check and see what you can find?” Kristen says, like she’s speaking to a child.

  “Hang on,” I say, both Kristen and Alex turning to look at me. “How or why is Kristen here?”

  Alex smirks. “She was blowing up your phone last night, so I answered it. She said she may have information about Ben, so I gave her the address.”

  I stalk to Kristen, grasping her arms in my hands. “You know where he is?”

  “I have a feeling I do. And if I’m right, it’s an unbelievably bad thing.” She’s worried, it’s clear on her face.

  “Where is he?” My fingers are digging into her arms, I know I need to relax, take a step back, but I can’t. I have to know where Ben is.

  “If he’s missing, really missing, I’m betting his foster father, Dan, has something to do with it.”

  “Why? Ben doesn’t talk about him much, but by the sound of it, he doesn’t want to be anywhere near Dan.”

  She lets out a sigh and quickly wipes away a tear. “I have my own theories on why he does what he does to Ben, but that’s all they are, speculation. The things he did to Ben were more than anyone should have to deal with. I tried to help, I really did, but it backfired every time. After we graduated, Ben ran and hid. Dan found him a few times, beat the hell out of him. I wish I understood why Dan was so obsessed, but I could never figure it out.”

  “What’s your theory?” Alex asks.

  “Honestly, I think he’s gay and hates it. He beats Ben but has never left scars, he would make Ben barter for clothes. It’s strange and seems like more than just a power trip.”

  “Why didn’t he go to the police?” Alex is angry, not at Kristen, but at the situation. This is the exact reason he became a police officer to begin with. He wants to help and protect people.

  “Because every time he tried, Dan would find out and the beating would be worse. Nothing ever stuck, he was never arrested or even taken in for questioning. Somewhere, there was a dirty cop always willing to help him.”

  Alex’s jaw clenches, and the vein in his temple pulses. “I have to go to the station.” He heads to the door but turns at the last minute and points at Kristen. “You do not go anywhere near that house. Do you understand? If I catch you even on the same street, I’ll arrest your ass for impeding an investigation. Stay out of it.”

  Kristen crosses her arms under her chest and cocks a hip, full of defiance. “Trust me, you won’t catch me.” The gleam in her eye says she’s going to do exactly what she was told not to. Alex stalks toward her, head down like a predator.

  “Little girl don’t test me. You won’t like what happens, that’s a fucking promise.” He’s standing so close to her they’re almost touching, but she doesn’t budge, just lifts her chin at him.

  “You don’t scare me. Do your job, find my best friend, and we won’t have any problems.”

  With a growl he turns on his heel and stomps out of the house, slamming the door behind him. I chase after him, needing to know if he’s found anything.

  “Alex! Wait!” He stops in the driveway and turns toward me. “Have you found anything?”

  “Do you remember seeing squad cars at your apartment building last night?”

  I close my eyes and try to think past the alcohol cloud that has taken over my brain. “Uh, yeah. There was something going on behind the building when I got home. Why? What does that have to do with Ben?”

  “I’m pretty sure they were there for Ben. There was a report of an assault taking place in the alley by the dumpsters. The description of the victim matches Ben, but his name is never mentioned. I’m going to talk to the responding officers, something is fishy. I called the hospital he was taken to but they never ID’d him, someone showed up, and he was released. No information.” My heart is pounding in my throat, none of this makes any fucking sense.

  “Please find him.” My voice cracks as I stand here, terrified of what he’s going to find.

  Alex’s hand cups the back of my head and brings my forehead to his. “I’m going to find him, and I promise I won’t stop looking until I do.”

  I nod my head, not able to speak. With a slap on the back, he leaves me standing in the driveway while he goes off
to save my man.

  I can’t stand around and do nothing. I need to do something. Anything.

  The look of fear and pity on Kristen’s face when I enter the house is ripping my heart to shreds. Heading back to my old room, I find some sneakers in the top of the closet and pull them on, before heading outside for a run. I jog down the familiar street, finding my stride as I follow the path I ran as a teenager. It doesn’t take long for the anxiety to settle, my mind to clear. I don’t have a plan, I don’t know how to help Ben, but I trust Alex to do everything he can to save him. The law limits him, but he’ll find a way, and he won’t stop until Ben is back with me. I have to believe that.

  * * *

  The sun has set again, and I’m no closer to having Ben back. I left my parents’ house and went home, worked out at the gym in my apartment building, took a shower, and cleaned my place from top to bottom. I’m exhausted but can’t stop pacing. If I stop moving my mind will fill with every worst-case scenario possible. Ben being beaten and broken, and then left to suffer alone and in pain. A sob steals my breath. He doesn’t deserve any of this. I wish I could go back in time to find the baby he was and take him to a good family to raise him. Taking a steadying breath, I get back to pacing.

  I’m out of things to do, my apartment has been scrubbed top to bottom, and I’m exhausted. From the front door, down the hall to the spare room, into the bedroom, then through the living room and back to the door. It’s going to be a long night…

  Chapter Forty-Three

  BENJAMIN Ben -

  I was able to get all the broth down before it got cold and didn’t throw it up. The burns covering my body feel like they’re on fire, but the cold in the room seems to help. The stench of tobacco and burned skin still waft through the room, mixing with stale air, urine, and mildew. If I had the tools, I would start a fire in here, just to feel some warmth before I die. The smoke would knock me out before the flames touched me, hopefully. Even if it didn’t, it would be relatively quick.

  How long have I been here? Has anyone noticed I’m missing? Does anyone care?

  I’m pretty sure I have a concussion. I’m in and out of it, and my head is pounding. It feels like I’ve been here forever, my time with Alister just a dream. A cruel dream to make me realize just how good my life could be, then shoved back into reality where everything hurts, and everyone wants to make it worse.

  Laying on my side to keep pressure off most of the burns, I close my eyes and drift into delirium.

  * * *

  A loud crash jolts me awake, then running and shouts beyond the door make my head pound, because it’s so loud, like an elephant stampede. Someone is in the hallway, yelling, “Found it.” And others shouting, “Clear,” from other rooms.

  I understand what’s happening. Has Dan invited more sadistic freaks to cause me more pain? Why are they so loud? Don’t they know how much it hurts my head? Or is that the point, to cause me more pain? The locks on the door raddle and I curl into the smallest ball my broken body will allow, the burns and bruises screaming in protest.

  The door opens, and I scream, flashlights scanning the room, leaving me blinded. People in dark uniforms come in rushing toward me, and I press my back to the wall, trying to get away from them. What do they want? Are they going to hurt me? What’s going on?

  The one that gets to me first takes off his helmet, and I’m met with the emerald eyes I’ve longed to see. “Ben? Hey man, I’m so glad to see you. We’re going to get you out of here, okay?” I stare at the face, trying to wrap my muddled brain around an Alister look-alike being here in the seventh circle of hell. On his shoulder, the man kneeling in front of me, speaks into a radio. “I’ve got him, down the hall, second door on the left. I need a medic.”

  Someone pops up, making me jump, and hands the officer a blanket, a brown blanket. Déjà vu hits me hard. I’m cold, and the clone of Alister in a cop uniform wraps me in a brown blanket. Who is it? I know that I know who he is…fuck…the harder I think the more pressure builds behind my eyes. Laying my forehead against my knees, I close my eyes and cover my ears.

  “Guys, he looks pretty rough,” the officer in front of me says to the guys coming in the door. A blanket is wrapped around me, shutting the cold out and sticking to the open wounds still seeping blood.

  “Hey, can you stand, or do we need to lift you onto the stretcher?” a soft feminine voice asks.

  I lift my head and peel my eyes open a crack to see the gurney low to the ground. I may be able to get to it. Shifting my weight to my feet, my burns on my back rip off the wall, forcing a scream from my raw throat. In a rush, two guys lift me under the arms and lay me on the stretcher, hurrying me out of the house and into the waiting ambulance.

  The lights are bright, and I have to clamp my eyes closed against them, lifting the edge of the blanket to cover my face. The doors slam closed and we start moving. The EMT’s are moving around, trying to start an IV, and calling into the hospital. It takes a while, but eventually we get to the ER. They ask me a bunch of questions, but I can barely keep up, answering only a few. Someone takes pity on me and gives me pain meds, letting my body rest while they clean and care for the burns.

  * * *

  A steady beeping makes its way into my drug-induced sleep, waking me. My memory is fuzzy, leaving me unsure of where I am and how I got here. A hand envelops mine: big, strong, and warm. “Ben?”

  That voice. That’s the voice I’ve been dreaming of, hearing in my mind. I’m afraid to open my eyes, afraid I’m once again dreaming. Fear courses through me when the memories of Dan hit me, the beeping increasing as my heart pounds.

  “Ben, you’re okay,” Alister’s voice says again, and soft lips and the prickle of his beard meet my forehead. I try to move, to keep him close to me, but fire shoots through me as injuries make themselves known. Slowly, I open my eyes, needing to know if he’s really here. “Hey, there you are.”

  He smiles with tears threatening to fall from his lashes. He’s perfect, tired, but perfect. I’ve missed him. I’ve never craved anything like I crave him. It wasn’t until I was once again at Dan’s mercy that I realized just how much I need him. I can’t live without him.

  “Help.” My voice is so raw and cracked, I can barely understand myself, but I have to try.

  “Help? What do you need?” He hovers over me, ready to do anything I ask.

  “You.” My hand reaches for his cheek, the soft hairs of his beard tickling my palm. “Love…you.” A tear rolls down his cheek as his eyes meet mine, his lips close enough to feel his breath on mine.

  “I love you, Ben.” A second later, his lips meet mine, not giving me time to respond. A soft caress of lips, careful and sweet.

  He ends the kiss and lays his forehead against mine, emerald meeting charcoal. His smile brightens the room, along with my life. Shuffling around onto my side, I move enough for Alister to get onto the bed with me. I need to be wrapped in him, his arms around me, feeling his heartbeat.

  I try to talk but cough instead, like swallowing shards of glass. Alister hands me a cup with a straw, and in no time the cup is empty, he refills it for me. Since the first drink, my mouth feels bone dry, and I can’t get enough water. Alister fills the cup one more time then tells me to wait a few minutes.

  “Lay with me? Please.”

  “I don’t think I’m supposed to. I could hurt you.”

  “Please.”

  He looks around the room like someone will jump out and yell at him, then carefully climbs onto the bed and wraps an arm around my waist.

  “Don’t ever leave me again,” he whispers as my eyes close again. “I need you too much.” The corners of my mouth lift in a small smile as sleep once again claims me.

  * * *

  I’ve been in the hospital now for a few days, mostly sleeping as my body tries to heal. The pain meds given to me ensure that I don’t dream when I sleep, which I’m grateful for.

  Since this is the last week of school, Alister has brought hi
s laptop in so I can try to get some homework done while I’m here. Next week is finals, and I really don’t know how I’m going to manage them.

  The door to my room opens, and the shining green eyes of Alister meet mine. “Hey, you’re awake. How are you feeling?” He leans down to kiss me before sitting on the edge of the bed.

  “A little better I think.”

  “That’s great. I talked to your nurse, Nancy, on my way in and she wants you to try to walk a bit today.”

  “Okay. How about a shower? I feel disgusting.”

  Nancy walks through the door, striding across the floor like she owns the place. She’s got a little bit of an accent, dark smooth skin, and a beautiful smile. “Well good morning there Sleeping Beauty, what do you think about taking a walk today?”

  “How about a shower? I’m pretty sure I can smell myself.”

  “Well now, we can’t have that, can we? As long as someone is in the bathroom while you’re showering, that should not be a problem, but I’ll double check with the doctor, okay?” She raises an eyebrow at me and has a hand on her hip, and I can tell she means business.

  “Sounds good. Thank you.”

  She checks my vitals, my IV bags, and leaves to find out if I can take a shower. The whole time, Alister sits on the bed next to me holding my hand, running his thumb against the back of my hand.

  “How did I get here?”

  “You don’t remember being rescued?” He turns and bends a leg up on the bed, facing me.

  “Not really. It was loud, and I would have sworn you were there.” Closing my eyes, I try to focus on the details, but it’s like I’m missing some of the film to a movie.

  “You saw Alex. He’s the one that found you. He told me he tried to talk to you, but you were pretty out of it, the EMT’s got you in the ambulance as soon as the house was cleared.”