Blind Ambition

by Carol Ashby

  “Valeria.”

  “Yes, Decimus?”

  “Come here. I want to see your face.”

  She stirred the porridge one more time before she turned and walked toward him. He’d never seen a more beautiful sight.

  “I know I wasn’t memorable enough for you to see me in the village, but I did think you saw me the other night.”

  She stopped right in front of him. He knew she was short from the day he held her as she cried. She barely came to his chin. Still, she was so capable at everything that he hadn’t pictured her as the diminutive woman with a dance-like walk who now stood within arms’ reach. A playful grin lit her eyes as she took his hands.

  Then she closed her eyelids and placed his fingers on her forehead before he could say anything. “Maybe you’d better look at me again to make sure you can remember.”

  She surprised him, but he welcomed this chance to touch her face again. Gaius’s way of seeing had let him form an image of her in spite of his blindness, but he’d enjoyed it at least as much for the pleasure of caressing her face.

  He fingered the strand of hair that had fallen across her forehead, stroking her skin with the back of his fingers at the same time. Gaius’s way of seeing was even more enjoyable when he could see her with his eyes as well. He traced the arch of her eyebrows and continued along her temples until he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Much more gold than brown, and it cascaded down her back almost to her waist. It framed her face just as he’d imagined.

  He traced the soft curve of her upper lip with one finger as he watched her smile like she was enjoying his touch. It was amazing that the image of her that his fingertips had created was so close to her true appearance. She really was a beautiful woman.

  He caressed her cheek, tracing her scar with his forefinger. He liked the feel of it, but her smile dimmed as he touched it. Despite all her joking about not being pretty, she was sensitive about how she thought the scar looked. There was no need for that. It didn’t diminish her beauty at all.

  The corner of his mouth curved up. Her smile brightened again as he caressed her cheek and slipped his fingertips under her chin. He drew them down her neck before lowering his hands.

  It was wise to stop. She attracted him too much, and that was not what she intended when she placed his fingers on her face. She was his physician, not his entertainment.

  “I find Gaius’s way of seeing most enjoyable, but it can’t tell me that your hair is more gold than brown...” Her eyes sprang open. “Or that your eyes are more blue than gray.”

  “Oh, Decimus! You can see again!” She threw her arms around his chest and hugged him so tightly he couldn’t take a breath. Her whisper reached his ears. “Oh, thank You, God! Thank You so much for this miracle!”

  He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her from the ground. She weighed almost nothing. It really should have been impossible for her to get him into her cart.

  She stepped back when he let her feet touch the floor, but he left his hands on her upper arms. She rested her palms against his chest. Her eyes were glowing, and a joyful smile added to the brightness.

  “Rhoda! Come quickly! He can see again!”

  Rhoda came scurrying down the ladder and wrapped her arms around both of them. “I knew God would hear all our prayers. Can I go tell Galen, or do you want to surprise him yourself?”

  He laughed, deep and full-throated. It was impossible not to. “Go tell him.”

  Rhoda grabbed Valeria’s shawl from the peg by the door and ran out to find Galen.

  He heard Galen bounding across the porch and saw him burst into the room.

  “Rhoda told me you could see, but I wasn’t sure she wasn’t just teasing. My life is going to get so much easier now that Val will let you help me with everything.”

  “Not everything. His leg isn’t healed, and I don’t want him to tear the stitches doing something too hard.”

  Galen groaned, then his grin broke through. “I thought it was too good to be true.”

  Rhoda had gone to collect eggs. Galen had gone to finish his chores before breakfast. Decimus sat with the chair tipped back, his fingers laced and his hands resting on the top of his head. It was his favorite position for relaxing, and he felt totally relaxed as he watched Valeria stirring the porridge over the fire.

  She moved like a dancer, and she was very light on her feet. No wonder he’d found it so difficult to figure out where she was when she wasn’t humming.

  She turned from the fire, and his smile drew one of her own. “Can I get you anything?”

  “No. I was just thinking what a pleasure it is to watch a beautiful woman make my breakfast.”

  She stirred the porridge again. “I’m not sure where I can find one for you to watch.”

  “No need to look. I already have one.”

  She peered around the room as she carried the cups from the shelf to the table. “Where is she? I’ll invite her to breakfast.”

  “I mean you.”

  “If you think so, then I guess your sight isn’t as completely restored as I’d hoped.”

  He rocked the chair forward and placed his hand on hers as she set the cups down. His eyes locked on hers.

  “Valeria, you are a very beautiful woman.”

  Valeria gasped as she snatched back her hand. His eyes gazing into hers―they looked like he really meant it. But he mustn’t! He was the total opposite of what she could accept in a man.

  He was a Roman tribune. Rome had declared her the enemy. No Roman officer could expect to have a Christian woman without someone finding out. She was not a woman to be had by any man without first becoming his wife, and she would never marry a man who didn’t follow the Way.

  She was the tribune’s physician and friend, but nothing more. Nothing more would ever be possible.

  Still, she felt the full compliment of a wealthy, powerful, handsome man saying she was beautiful, even if he couldn’t really mean it. He would have known many women. Some of them must have been real beauties; no scars on their faces to ruin that.

  Her cheeks and even her ears felt hot, and she dropped her eyes as she took another step back.

  Decimus kept his eyebrows from rising. Why had his words upset her? All the other women he knew were eager for his compliments, even when they knew he didn’t mean them. He meant this one, but he’d frightened her by saying it. How was that possible? How could telling a woman she was beautiful ever be frightening?

  So many things about her weren’t what he expected from a normal woman, but the last thing he expected was this fearful response to a simple compliment. He didn’t want her afraid of him. What could undo what he’d just done?

  A moment’s thought, and he knew. She’d laughed and accused him of teasing after he’d seen her Gaius’s way. If she didn’t like his truthful compliments, she could consider them a tease.

  He tipped back in his chair, stretched out his legs, and crossed his arms. “I’ll have to rethink my opinion of Baldric.”

  She raised her eyes. Her eyebrows dipped as her head tilted. “Why is that?”

  Curiosity, not fear. Much better.

  “I thought him wise for wanting you in his family for your kind heart and skill with horses. Now that I’ve seen you, I think the most powerful man in the region may simply want the most beautiful woman as wife for one of his sons.”

  Valeria saw the smile playing on his lips and the twinkle in his eye. She’d misunderstood him. He was only joking. He had no romantic thoughts about her. She’d been silly and vain to even imagine that he might.

  “Galen’s been a bad influence on you. He’s turned you into a tease. I don’t know how Rhoda and I are going to put up with two of you.”

  She patted his upper arm as she walked past to go back to stirring the porridge.

  Decimus’s mouth tipped up into a crooked smile. It had become her habit to touch his arm to signal the end of a conversation. It had
been a comfort in the darkness. It was a pleasure in the light.

  He wove his fingers together and placed them on his head. She was comfortable with him again, and he wasn’t going to risk that by paying her too much attention...at least not when she would notice.

  He watched every move as long as she was looking away from him. Whenever she turned, he shifted his gaze out the cottage door so she wouldn’t suspect. Everything about her fascinated him, but he wasn’t fool enough to let her know that. She wasn’t ready to hear what he really thought of her.

  His smile faded. He wasn’t completely sure what he thought of her himself or what he might want to do about it. There was still that problem of her being a Christian in a province where his father had declared it illegal.

  It was probably best if he just enjoyed their playful conversations and her gentle touches and didn’t think past that. Surely he could think she was smart and kind and beautiful without it having to lead to anything.

  Chapter 21: Watching

  Decimus had known Galen and Rhoda were coming by the laughter that accompanied them. Now he would get to see their grins as well. His own lips curved into a smile at the thought.

  Rhoda came in first, swinging the egg basket. She carried it to a set of shelves where flour and other cooking supplies were stored. As she turned to the shelf holding the bowls and spoons, she looked over at Decimus and smiled. Such sweetness in that smile. Such kindness in the many times that she’d guided his hands in the darkness to his spoon and bowl. She was so much like her sister.

  She carried the bowls to Valeria, then brought the spoons to the table. After placing his on the table in front of him, she hugged Decimus’s arm before returning to her sister. Valeria stroked her hair and kissed her on the forehead before handing her two bowls filled with steaming porridge.

  The sisterly love between them made it hard to believe they weren’t born sisters. These Christians really did know how to love each other regardless of blood ties. They’d made a family out of strangers, and they’d even pulled an enemy into the circle and made him feel like family, too. Decimus would never have done that, but he was glad they had.

  After placing his bowl in front of him, Rhoda sat down on the bench to the right of his chair and gave him her sweetest little-girl smile.

  Galen had remembered to wipe his feet before coming in, which drew an appreciative smile from his older sister. He sat down on the stool to the left of Decimus as Valeria carried the other two bowls to the table.

  After she set Galen’s bowl down, Valeria pushed some stray hair back off Galen’s forehead and patted his upper arm. That was exactly how she touched him, but Decimus was certain it didn’t affect Galen the same way.

  Valeria sat down on the bench with Rhoda and bowed her head. Decimus waited to begin eating until after she had given thanks.

  The porridge was delicious, but that wasn’t what made this breakfast so special. Who would have thought simply seeing the people at the table could bring such pleasure?

  Galen was so obviously Roman. His hair was the same dark brown as Decimus’s own with the same waviness and loose curls that tended to fall onto his forehead. In fact, Galen looked very much like he had at the same age, except he’d been a lot taller. They could have been brothers.

  Rhoda had wavy brown hair that framed her face and drew attention to the smiles that were almost always on her lips. Her light brown eyes sparkled with warmth whenever she looked at him and smiled, which was often. He would have enjoyed having a little sister like her.

  As much as he enjoyed watching Galen and Rhoda, it was Valeria who captured his full attention. He’d spent hours wondering what she looked like. He’d imagined that someone as kind as she was must have a beautiful smile and warm, gentle eyes. His imagination had not done her justice.

  She truly was a beautiful woman, no matter what she said. The scar did nothing to make her less attractive. There was so much life in her eyes. Her love for her family filled them with a radiance he’d never seen in anyone else. When she joked with him, they sparkled irresistibly. She was so quick to smile, and each one drew a smile from him. How could he ever have failed to notice her in the village?

  When breakfast was over, Decimus was eager to work. Galen rose from the table and stretched.

  “So, Val, can I have Decimus help me with anything I want today?”

  Decimus stood and grabbed his crutch.

  “No, but he can help a little as long as you don’t do anything that’s going to hurt his leg or tire him. He still needs to rest, and I don’t want that cut to open and bleed again. All he should do today is help you finish the rails in the cattle shed.”

  Galen grinned. “I’ll be careful with him.”

  Maybe caution was appropriate, but Decimus’s lips started to tighten before he relaxed them. He didn’t like being mothered now that he could see again. He was a grown man who could decide for himself what he should do. Physician or not, she wasn’t going to keep him from helping Galen. He wasn’t willing to lie around like some rich Roman matron.

  Decimus hobbled out the door behind Galen. “So, what will you have me do today?”

  Galen looked back over his shoulder. “The same thing you did yesterday.”

  Decimus masked his surprise. So Galen hadn’t made the job easier for a blind man. “It should go faster today now I can see.”

  Galen shook his head. “I don’t think so. I was the slow one yesterday, and I wasn’t planning on trying to hurry it up today. I’d rather do it well than fast.”

  Decimus nodded as he smiled. That was his philosophy as well.

  After about half an hour, Valeria walked to the shed to check on whether Decimus was overworking himself. She was quite sure she would find that he was. She’d wanted Galen to give him something to do when he was blind and feeling useless. It had cheered him up and given him hope, just as she’d expected. Now that he could see, she would prefer that he rest and not risk hurting himself.

  They were just finishing up as Galen tied the last rail in place. Decimus looked satisfied but tired. He had done more than enough today. It was time to rest.

  She picked up his crutch and handed it to him. “It looks like you boys have finally finished. That’s good since it’s time for my patient to take a break and rest.” She rested her hand on his arm. “I’ll walk you back to the cottage.”

  “Whatever you say, physician. I put myself in your hands again.” A smile played on his lips as he looked down at her.

  “Very wise of you. We’ll get you healed much faster if you do.”

  She walked beside him as he hobbled slowly back to the porch. Just before they entered the door, his gaze locked on the bench. He turned toward it.

  “I’d rather sit out here and watch than lie down inside.”

  She would have preferred that he lie down for a while, but he’d already seated himself on the porch bench. Something about his eyes declared his intention to stay there. She opened her mouth to tell him it would be much better for him to lie down instead of sitting on the porch; then she closed it. She’d never persuade a man like him to go inside when his sight had just returned. After so long in darkness, who wouldn’t want to enjoy the view outside?

  She moved a stool over and raised his leg to rest upon it. He placed his other leg on the stool as well and leaned back in that now-familiar pose with his hands resting on top of his head. He held her gaze as he grinned. “The view is much better from here.”

  “Will you rest and not try to do something you shouldn’t?”

  She wasn’t so sure that he wouldn’t.

  “I’ll do whatever you say, physician, as long as I get to enjoy the view.” Decimus smiled at her teasingly, but she didn’t seem to pick up on his meaning.

  She patted his arm. “I’m going to work in the garden now. Just call if you need my help for anything.”

  As he watched her walking toward the garden, he was glad he’d chosen to stay
on the porch. Any view of her was much better than any other view he could imagine.

  Just sitting on the porch watching while everyone else had something to do was harder than Decimus had expected. He wasn’t a man who enjoyed being idle. Still, they didn’t let him get lonely. Rhoda came over often to see if he needed anything and usually hugged him before she left. Galen used his breaks for a drink as an excuse to talk with him for a few minutes, too. Valeria was keeping an eye on him from the garden. He watched her most of the time, so he saw her frequent glances in his direction and her occasional wave.

  It seemed too long until she finished her garden work and came back to the cottage to start supper. She handed him his crutch as her lips turned up in a smile that seemed alluring to him even though she didn’t mean it to be.

  “I hope you enjoyed the afternoon. There’s still time to rest before supper, if you want.” The hopeful look in her eyes was more effective than a command would have been.

  “Lead the way, physician.”

  He followed her inside and lay down on the bed just to please her. Without her to watch, staying on the porch had lost much of its appeal anyway. As his whole body relaxed, a huge yawn stretched his face. How could he have become so tired just sitting on the porch? Still, it had been a much better choice to spend the day watching instead of sleeping. A man could get bored almost to tears just lying around with nothing to do and no one to watch. He was still weak from losing so much blood, but he was feeling stronger every day. He didn’t need to be coddled.

  Valeria didn’t talk to him much. She probably hoped he’d take a nap before supper, but his eyes were never closed when she glanced over at him. Why would he want to sleep when he could watch her?

  Soon the delicious aroma of her stew filled the cottage.

  Valeria walked to the cottage door. “Rhoda! Galen! Supper’s almost ready.”

  Rhoda skipped into the room after she’d washed up, and Galen was not far behind.