Darkness into Light Box Set

by Michael Dean

  ‘Next week,’ mevrouw Kuipers growled

  ‘Stop that Kauderwelsch!’ one of the Orpos shouted. ‘Speak German, or don’t say anything. You speak German?’

  ‘Yes,’ Tinie said, in German. ‘But she doesn’t.’ She nodded at mevrouw Kuipers. ‘She’s too stupid.’

  ‘Go back to your own room,’ the same Orpo said, to mevrouw Kuipers.

  With a sweet smile, Tinie translated, watching with some satisfaction as the old busybody indignantly bustled out.

  Tinie waved a hand round her little kingdom. She had no fears about the nurse’s uniform. A skilled seamstress, she had adapted it so that it converted into an ordinary grey dress. The collar, cuffs and the other accessories that marked it out as a uniform had been folded away in her button box, where they looked like rolled strips of cloth. The sketch paper she had been about to take to Manny, though, was all over the table.

  One of the Orpos was opening the drawers in the dresser. The other made straight for the niche behind the curtain. He drew it back and tapped the bunk-boxes, with a practised air. Tinie blew an imaginary kiss to Lard Zilverberg, for coming back to seal off the hiding-place he had made.

  But the Mof still challenged the bunk-boxes. ‘What are they for?’

  ‘They are beds for children. They were made before the war.’

  ‘What war?’ called out the other Mof. ‘There is no war. The Netherlands is being incorporated into the German Reich, where it belongs.’

  Tinie nodded.

  On the way out, the Mof who had asked about the bunk-boxes noticed the sketch paper.

  ‘You draw?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Me too.’ He gave her a smile. ‘What sort of things do you draw?’

  Tinie breathed deeply. From the look in his eye, he was getting interested in her.

  ‘Portraits mainly. People.’

  She offered God anything in return, if he would only stop the Mof asking her to draw something – she could not draw at all. He was clearly thinking about it, but the other Mof said ‘That’s enough, here. Let’s go.’

  The first Mof widened his smile, shrugging his shoulders in open reluctance at having to leave her. But they left. Tinie sat down and cried, soundlessly, in relief, as much as anything. After a while, she pulled herself together. At least Hirschfeld had not been round for a while, although he continued to send the money. So perhaps things were looking up – there was always hope.

  She re-assembled the nurse’s uniform, gathered up the sketch paper, and some cheese, for Manny. She tiptoed out, shoes in one hand, her eyes never leaving mevrouw Kuipers’ door. If the neighbour spotted her, suddenly and suspiciously transformed into a nurse, it could be all over for her.

  She reached the bottom of the stairs, put her shoes back on, took her bicycle from the vestibule, and cycled to the knokploeg’s coal shed. She tapped the pre-arranged morse V for victory signal on the coal shed floor – the hideout’s ceiling. Manny let her in. To her surprise, neither Robert nor Joel was there.

  ‘Joel said he and my father would be back at five,’ Manny told her, after he’d given her a warm hug.

  Tinie looked at her watch. It was half-past two. ‘Manny …’ She looked down at the floor, then at the bunk beds.

  ‘Do you want to?’ Manny said, softly. ‘Is it time? Are you sure?’

  She nodded. She was sure, but she was afraid Manny might not want to, after Hirschfeld.

  He took her hand and led her toward the bunk. ‘I love you so much, Tinie. But I don’t … I mean I …’

  ‘It’s alright,’ she said. ‘I know only too well what to do. I’ll help you.’

  But she didn’t need to. It was gentle, like strawberries.

  *

  Joel Cosman treated Robert Roet as his commander, determinedly ignoring the older man’s drinking. The relationship was a novelty to Joel; he quite enjoyed it. He had been a leader all his life, not because he had sought to be, but because everybody followed him.

  He could not remember a time when he had not played sport – football, boxing, table-tennis, swimming, diving. He had been a member of the elite De Hoop rowing club – so elite it banned Jews. He refused to tell anybody how he had achieved that. He had run the Jewish boxing club; he had coached at a swimming and diving club – the Zwemvereniging D.O.K. Amsterdam. But football was always the God.

  Bright though he was, school was a lost cause. All he read was Cetem, the Sunday football paper. That and the Saturday afternoon football results, chalked up on a board outside Swaap’s cigar shop.

  Fortunately, Joel’s old man was as mad about football as Joel was. He ran a drapery shop that looked like an oriental bazaar in Sint Antoniesbree Straat. But he closed in good time before every Ajax home match.

  Then, he solemnly, almost ritualistically, took Joel and his younger brother Simon by the hand and they all caught a tram to Weesperplein. There, they changed to a steam tram, which jolted and puffed along, stopping every now and again while the water reservoir was re-filled, until it reached the De Meer Stadium, where Ajax played. It was just a couple of miles east of the Jewish Quarter.

  A lot of Jews supported Ajax, but so did a lot of Christians – like Gerrit Romijn, who Joel used to see there on match days. They greeted each other like long lost brothers, even comparing the bruises and cuts they had inflicted on each other during the week. When a swastika flag went up in the stadium, just before the war, when Ajax were playing Admira Vienna, Gerrit booed as loudly as Joel did.

  From the age of twelve, Joel’s father had paid him to work in the shop after school, and at the weekend, so he could save up for a pair of English football boots. He used to gaze at them every time he passed, tied up by their laces outside the Melhado store. That just left the shirt, the shorts and the suitcase to put them in. Playing football was an expensive business.

  He had started playing at HEDW, one of Amsterdam’s all-Jewish football teams, dominating the game from right-half. He was fourteen at the time. He seemed to break up the opposition attacks without even having to tackle – just by being in the right place at the right time. But when he did tackle it was eye-watering.

  He would then set up his own team’s attacks with slide-rule diagonal forward passes. The gleaming quiff of his swept back hair was like a beacon – he was involved in every passing move. He was team captain at the age of sixteen.

  Ajax Amsterdam spotted him and signed him up. His third home game for the first team was the grudge-match against Xerxes of Rotterdam, captained by the legendary Cannon – Wim Lagendaal. Joel scored the second goal in a 3-2 win for the Amsterdammers. It was a header from a corner, despite the legendary Wim standing on his foot as the ball came over, to keep him down.

  Then the invasion stopped everything – not the football, that continued bigger than ever. Just the Jewish players playing for their teams.

  And now? Being cooped up in a room with a car and two other men was making even

  Joel’s instinctive grin waver. He worked ferociously to maintain fitness, doing press ups and sit ups in the tiny space between the bunks and the car.

  And there was also the Manny-problem … He was fond of Manny. He respected the boy’s brains; he also respected his guts: Manny was the most useless fighter he had ever seen, by a long long way - which made the boy’s courage downright moving. And he was proud, Joel was - bursting-proud - to be his friend, after that speech Manny made at the Jewish Council meeting.

  But … the boy could irritate a rock. His constant chatter was irksome, his vomiting was annoying, and the never-ending irony was like a dripping tap. Also, Joel acknowledged to himself, he was afraid that one day Manny would turn his head, with his constant hero worship.

  *

  Joel took Ben Bril along to check out the main Nazi ammunition dump, just outside Haarlem. It was dispiriting. The place had a barbed wire perimeter, protected by watchtowers and heavily-armed troops. Joel described their uniform flashes to Robert, who said they were GFP – Geheime Feld
Polizei. They did nothing but guard military installations. A knokploeg of tough boxers armed with staves would be well out of its depth.

  He was beginning to regret the offer to get explosives, when Lard Zilberberg – big, good-hearted, big-mouthed, stolid old Lard – suddenly said ‘Why don’t we try the docks at Schiedam? The Prinz Eugen’s there for a refit. There could be munitions from off her.’

  Joel grabbed Lard’s swarthy cheeks – even he had to reach up to do it – and shook them. ‘You little beauty,’ he said. ‘That’s wild, that is, my son. That is really clever. And I’ll tell you for why. Because if the munitions are just off temporarily, the guard won’t be so tight.’

  Joel called a meeting of the knokploeg, which included Tinie. Guards were stationed outside; the car was raised up to the coal cellar, to create enough room. To Manny, Joel and Robert, their tiny cell felt the size of a ballroom, as soon as they were rid of the car.

  Robert seemed pleased to meet the fifteen or so of the knokploeg who turned up, including Gerrit Romijn, with two of his gang. Gerrit was quieter these days. He even looked different – older, more thoughtful.

  Everybody knew everybody else, so there was less fear of a stool pigeon than there might have been – although the fear was never entirely absent. There were stories of the most unlikely people turning informant, sometimes under duress. Sometimes not.

  After getting Robert’s approval, Joel told the assembled knokploeg exactly what was wanted. ‘We want to steal ordnance from the Prinz Eugen, at Schiedam docks, and use it to blow up the Arminius, here. Does anybody know anyone reliable, working on the Prinz Eugen?’

  They all looked at each other. The centuries old tension between Rotterdam and Amsterdam had been broken by the bombing of Rotterdam. There was no time for it now. Ben Bril said he had a cousin in a KP – knokploeg – in Rotterdam. He said he was sure this cousin would help - find someone working at Schiedam docks, who was reliable. The cousin’s name was Arie Allegro.

  How to contact the cousin? Even if they knew somebody who was on the telephone in Rotterdam, the telephones were probably tapped by the SD. Writing a letter would be far too dangerous. Somebody had to go to Rotterdam. Ben Bril said he would go – it was his cousin.

  ‘I’ll go,’ Tinie said. ‘I’ve got better cover than Ben. And it’s easier for females to get around.’

  Joel looked at Robert. Everybody knew Tinie was right. Robert had actually been told to use nurses – real or fake - as couriers, on the SOE course at Beaulieu. The whole packed room was looking at their commander. Manny could sense his father was about to agree. He did:

  ‘Yes. Tinie’s the best person for the job.’

  ‘What about Hirschfeld?’ Manny said softly, to Tinie, then immediately wished he hadn’t. Tears sprang to Tinie’s eyes. ‘I mean, he’ll know you’re gone.’

  ‘Give him a cover story,’ Robert said.

  Tinie shot Manny an angry look. It was obvious Robert knew about Hirschfeld, and he could have got it only from Manny.

  ‘I have an old aunt in Vollendam,’ Tinie said. ‘I can tell Hirschfeld she’s been taken sick. Or just leave him a note..’

  ‘Sounds fine to me,’ Robert said.

  ‘Me too,’ said Joel.

  Everybody else fell into line, nodding and murmuring agreement.

  ‘We’ll knock you out some false ID papers,’ Robert said. ‘With an address half-way between here and Rotterdam. And we’ll train you in a cover story.’

  Tinie nodded. There was a touch of colour in her cheeks. She touched Manny’s arm, lightly.

  ‘Can I go, too?’ Manny’s voice sounded strange in his own ears.

  ‘You?’ Robert’s voice was edged with contempt.

  Manny looked him in the eye. ‘It’s not enough to make contact with someone at the docks, is it? We can’t keep going backwards and forwards. We need to come back here with a half-way decent plan. I can draw a diagram of the docks. After I’ve spoken to our contact, I can put forward a plan.’

  ‘Do we need a diagram of the docks?’ Joel said to Robert.

  Robert shrugged. ‘It would be useful. We’d be there at night. Won’t be able to see a bloody thing.’ He thought for a moment. ‘I'm sure we’ll find workers who will help, but we can’t expect them to do more than give us information. We’re going to have to steal any explosives ourselves. The more we know about the docks, the better. Manny’s right.’

  Manny basked in his father’s approval, shooting Tinie a look.

  ‘But Manny’s wanted,’ Joel said, ‘same as me.’

  Robert shrugged. ‘Obviously, he’ll use his false ID. We’ll maybe change his occupation to doctor, to give him a better reason to be travelling. He might actually be safer away from here.’ Robert paused. ‘Mind you, if he is caught, he’ll be tortured. That will be the end of this place, and the end of us.’ He looked at them all, sitting on the cement floor, in a cell of a room, stinking of petrol. ‘Do you want to take that chance?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Ben Bril.

  ‘If any one of us is caught, it would be the same,’ Lard Zilverberg said. ‘Not just Manny. Let him go to Rotterdam.’

  ‘If Manny wants to do it, we’re behind him,’ Gerrit Romijn said, as ever speaking for his group, as well as himself. .

  ‘All right,’ Robert said. ‘You’re on, Manny. But before you get too excited,’ Robert nodded at Tinie. ‘you can’t possibly go together. Public transport’s far too risky. You both go by bicycle. Separately. ’

  ‘Sure!’ Manny said, nodding. ‘We’ll cycle there separately, meet up in Schiedam.’

  Robert nodded. ‘OK.’

  *

  Tinie and Manny cycled slowly along, side by side. The by-way meandered parallel to the main Amsterdam-Rotterdam road. He had set off ahead of her, but stopped and waited for her, at a pre-arranged spot, less than half-a-mile from the knokploeg hideout.

  He had planned a mazy route to Rotterdam, avoiding the main roads. The sun was shining, with just occasional wisps of fragile white cloud. Tinie had brought as much food as she could carry. It was in a basket, at the front of her bicycle.

  She had put on weight, in her happiness. Whenever Manny told her how lovely she was, she occasionally dared, if not to believe it, to believe that at least he thought so – which was all that mattered to her.

  ‘I don’t want this to end,’ he said, as they cycled along, as slowly as possible, their shoulders almost touching.

  ‘Neither do I.’ She gave him a shy, toothy smile, turning her face into the wind, so it ruffled her short dark-blonde hair.

  The endless narrow road was flanked by evenly-spaced plane trees. Manny thought it looked like a Hobbema painting – The Avenue at Middelharnis.

  They stopped behind a hedge, lay the bicycles down, kissed and made love. He was becoming an intuitive lover, understanding what she felt, wanting her pleasure before his own. It had never occurred to him to use a sheath, and she had decided not to ask him to. They lay in each other’s arms, afterwards, smiling, laughing, dozing, talking, all at the same time.

  After a long while she stood up. She took a threadbare tablecloth from the basket. On it, she carefully arranged slices of niew Gouda cheese, good ham with fat on it, bread, milk, sausage, some tomatoes. There was a bottle of water and a single flower. It was a white carnation, Prince Bernhard’s flower, one of the emblems of Dutch defiance.

  He looked at her, blazing with love, as she made the food as wonderful as she could. She was doing her best for him, creating something for them to share. Nobody had done this for him before, nobody had cared enough. Nobody thought he was worth it. Nobody.

  There were tears in his eyes. Understanding, she broke off from her creation and stroked his head.

  ‘It’s for you, because I love you,’ she said.

  As they ate, they snuggled down into companionship. Tinie could have done this with silence, but Manny always needed to talk, so she did, too. They discussed where they would like to go on holiday.

>   Tinie sat with her knees pulled up to her breasts, her arms wrapped round her knees, pulling the skirt of her nurse’s outfit taut. ‘As I’m a girl from Batavia Straat, I’d like to visit Batavia,’ she said. ‘Maybe see the whole of the Dutch East Indies. End up splashing in the surf, somewhere hot.’

  ‘Did Hirschfeld tell you about the Dutch East Indies?’ Manny said, sharply. He knew his uncle had worked for a bank out there – he often talked of it.

  She looked stunned. The colour bled from her face; she stopped with food half-way to her mouth.

  Manny hit himself on the forehead. ‘Oh, I’m a fool! I’m a fool! Why do I always do that? Why do I always say the wrong thing? I’m cursed.’

  ‘It’s alright,’ she said, pulling herself together.

  ‘No, it isn’t.’

  He did not get the expected hug and consolation.

  ‘You know …,’ she said, in a quiet, confident voice he hadn’t heard from her before. ‘ …now, since we’ve been together, I believe Hirschfeld hasn’t touched me. Not deep down, where it matters. I believe that, as long as you believe it, too.’

  ‘Of course I do!’ He sensed she didn’t want him to touch her right now. ‘I love you. I will always love you. I have always loved you, even when we were children. If you’ll have me, I want to marry you, as soon as I possibly can.’

  ‘I’d love to marry you, Manny. I just hope we …’

  ‘What?’

  ‘I hope we have a life to live. Together. That’s all.’

  *

  Late in the afternoon, when they hoped Ben Bril’s cousin would have returned from work, they rang the bell of his flat. Ben had got a message through that a nurse and a doctor would be coming on a house call. So Arie Allegro was not completely surprised to find a uniformed nurse, and companion, on his doorstep.

  The welcome was warm. Allegro was a swarthy, rangy man, taller and slimmer than Ben, but with the same air of toughness. He waved them to a vinyl covered sofa and made coffee.