Submitting to the Alpha (Submission Book 1)
Page 8
Lie. Obvious lie. And I felt terrible for it.
My gaze shifted from him to the dark windows, my heart racing for some odd reason. Two golden eyes pierced through the darkness and stared right at me. I pressed my lips together, staring back at him.
“I’m going to head upstairs,” I said, politely declining the wet-dog-smelling meatloaf that Dad cooked for dinner. “I’ve had a long day.”
I hurried up the stairs toward my bedroom, shut my door, and gazed at the curtains that I had pulled open this morning. The Moonflowers glowed brightly on my windowsill, but his eyes glowed even brighter in the forest.
I wasn’t doing this because I wanted him to watch me. I was doing this because I wanted to show him I didn’t need him. Not to achieve my goals. Not to have a leg-shaking orgasm.
But when I turned toward the bed, my brows furrowed. Unlike this morning, my bed was made, and a piece of paper that had been ripped out of a journal sat on the center of my black blankets. I picked it up and unfolded it, my eyes widening.
It was a sketch of me, standing amongst the other warriors in this pack. With my hair braided back, I stood at the head of the pack with the moonlight reflecting off of my eyes and a mark on my neck.
The picture was a breathtakingly beautiful. I wanted to sit and stare at it all day long, but something inside of me snapped when I noticed that Roman was in the picture—staring at me with so much love.
It was as if someone was making fun of me for not becoming a warrior and for having a thing with Roman. I crumpled the paper in my fist. Damn him. I bet it was the bitch Vanessa; she was set on fucking with my fucking life.
I tossed the ball of paper onto my desk and peeled off my shirt. Fucking Roman. He probably told her to do that. Hurt Isabella more. Hurt her so badly, so he could relish in my pain, so I would need him to help me feel better.
My wolf whimpered inside of me, telling me he wouldn’t do that, but he had hurt me before this. I didn’t doubt that he would hurt me again.
He stood outside my bedroom window, still deep in the woods, with a fucking smile on his stupid face.
This wasn’t for him anymore. This was for me. I needed this release. I needed to feel good after all this hurt. I laid back against my headboard, parting my legs and sliding a hand between them.
Last show for you, you fucking asshole alpha.
My eyes fluttered closed as I rubbed harsh, rough circles around my clit. This is what I needed. I moaned. Long day at the hospital, a bitch Vanessa who thought she was funny, and an alpha who wanted to get on my very last nerve.
Roman walked out of the forest and stood in the open, staring at me. The moonlight hit his fur, making it glisten. My toes curled into the bedsheets.
I imagined us in the cave, me curled into his arm, his fingers brushing against my cheek, making my heart tighten in my chest and giving me so many fucking butterflies.
I parted my lips, lightly pinching my nipple. A wave of pleasure rolling through me. His minty scent drifted in through the window, and I inhaled. He smelt good, even my wolf was purring.
I imagined us the other night when he pushed me up against the tree, when his fingers were thrusting in and out of me, when he was making me cum over and over and over again until I could barely stand straight.
So many phony facets of that man, and I was attracted to every one of them.
Roman let out a low growl, and I clenched. I wanted him to roughly thrust me against the headboard, push his fingers into my mouth for me to suck, tug on my hair.
My core tightened.
I bet he’d feel amazing inside of me. His hard cock pushing into my tight pussy. My fingers digging into his back.
He growled again, louder this time. I slowed and stared out the window, eyes glazed over with lust. My alpha wanted me to stop… too bad I didn’t care what he wanted.
My pussy suddenly tightened. I threw my head back, sinking into the sheets and slapping a hand over my mouth to stop myself from screaming to the moon. After a few moments of pure pleasure pumping out of me, I took a few deep breaths.
Trying to calm myself. Trying to catch my breath. Trying to gather my racing thoughts.
My whole body tingled. I pressed my lips into a smile, giggling. It felt like I was walking on the clouds with the Moon Goddess herself. I drew my knees together and gazed at him.
He stood in front of my window with those golden, sinful eyes. I wrapped a blanket around my body and walked to the window. “Roman…” I said. He growled again but moved closer. “I hoped you enjoyed the show. It’s the last one you’ll ever get from me. I don’t need you to please me anymore.”
Chapter 16
Isabella
While I walked down the hospital halls, I gazed down at the crumpled sketch in my hands. It was ridiculous that I hadn’t thrown it away yet. But at least it was better than staring at the bland white-tiled floors.
Screw that.
The sketch was beautiful. Fucking beautiful.
A strand of my hair was blowing against my cheek. There was a small scar on my collarbone from when Vanessa pushed me in gym class in fifth grade. My lips were set in a small smile. I looked valued and respected, so strong and happy.
Though I was drawn in the left third of the piece, every wolf that surrounded me was staring at me in amazement. Even Roman. His dark eyes were fixed on me and only me with the utmost respect.
Too bad that he didn’t respect me in real life.
All he wanted was sex.
My wolf whimpered.
I wanted that too, but some part of me wanted more. Sitting in his truck the other night, just admiring the way he seemed so relaxed, lips pressed together softly, dark hair resting against his forehead, that smile he gave me—it made me wonder if we could’ve been something more.
But not now. Sex was all I needed from him; all I had ever needed from him. He and I couldn’t be anything more than what we were.
When I reached Rachel’s desk, I folded the sketch and put it into my pocket. Rachel grinned at me, clicking her pen. “Morning, Isabella.”
I smiled and leaned against the table. “How’s Mr. Beck doing?”
She wrote something on a clipboard and handed it to me. “Wheelchair bound.” She grimaced and shook her head. “He’s been asking about you all morning. Dr. Jakkobs told me to tell you to go see him when you—” She shifted her gaze behind me, bowing her head. “Good morning, Alpha.”
Moon Goddess.
I froze. It was only nine in the morning. I couldn’t handle his shit right now, especially after he saw me in this white doctor’s jacket. Wasn’t he supposed to be running practice for the warriors?
Instead of turning around to greet my alpha, I stood completely still. Hoping he would just disappear. Hoping that he wouldn’t even say a word to me.
Rachel noticed my uneasiness, gazing back at Roman. “I’ll be checking on a few other patients.” She stood from her seat and disappeared through the door.
What a great fucking friend.
Roman cleared his throat, but I didn’t turn around. His minty scent was tempting, but I wouldn’t fall for that trick of his again.
I gazed down at the clipboard, flicking through the pages. “Sorry, I have work to do.”
Before I walked out the door, he grabbed my wrist—a rush of tingles shooting up my arm—and growled. “We need to talk.”
“And what do we need to talk about, Roman?” I asked, turning around and clutching the clipboard to my chest.
“The little stunt you pulled last night.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I bat my lashes at him. “Anyway…” I gazed down at my wrist, looking at my pretend watch. “Looks like I have a patient to get to.” I pushed through the double doors and walked down the hallway.
He followed me. “Stop, Isabella.”
Room 405. Room 406. Room 407.
“Stop.”
Patients and doctors gazed into the hallway as I rushed aimlessly down it
“Isabella, don’t make me say it again.”
Shit. Shit. Shit. I stopped at the end of the hallway, gazing at the last door. Room 421, Mom’s office. The door was opened slightly, her lamp emitting a pale-yellow light over her abandoned desk.
Roman grasped my wrist. “I said to stop.”
I turned on my heel and pressed a finger into his chest. “You should know by now that I don’t listen to you.”
Nurses and patients gazed over, gasping. Old Man Beck laughed in one of the other rooms, taunting me.
Roman growled, and everyone turned back to their work. He pushed me into Mom’s empty office and slammed the door. As soon as the door clicked closed, he had me pressed against the door. “I can make you listen to me. Remember that, Isabella.”
What was the worst he could do that I wouldn’t enjoy? Lock me in a silver cage? Tell everyone at the hospital that I wasn’t smart enough to work as a doctor either? Force me to submit to him? None of those punishments was worse than the one he had already given me.
I growled and kicked him in the shin, turning around to face him. “Don’t talk to me like that.” I flared my nostrils at his stupid, perfect face. The feelings I had before he hurt me were all still there. The excitement. The enjoyment. The passion.
“You know, because of the stunt you pulled, someone drew a picture of me.” After pulling the drawing from my pocket, I thrust it into his face. “They’re mocking me, Roman. They’re mocking me for not becoming a warrior and it’s your fault.”
He gazed down at the picture, then at me, then back. His face shifting through a variety of emotions. “You don’t like the picture?”
“That’s not the point.” I stepped closer to him. Of course, I liked the damn picture. “The point is that people are mocking me because of what you did.”
He smoothed out the crinkles with his fingers, deposited the drawing into his jean pocket, and shook his head. “I assign you here because you’re smart, Isabella. You should be thankful that you’re here and not somewhere else. You should be thankful that you get to help people, not hurt them. The life you think you want is just a life of hurt.”
“You know nothing about what I want.”
“Moon Goddess, Isabella! If I was in your shoes, I would shut the fuck up about all of this. You have an education. Use it and be thankful.” He pressed his lips together, holding back from saying something worse.
“I’m thankful for my education,” I said, knowing that he didn’t get to finish his because the pack needed him to become alpha when he was only fifteen. But that wasn’t what this was about. I stepped closer to him, staring him right in his green eyes, my heart racing. “But I want to be a warrior.”
“Well, you’re not!” he said, eyes becoming a dark mess of gold. He stepped closer to me, glaring down at me with so much fury. “And why are you wearing this jacket?” He grabbed the collar of my jacket, curling it in his fingers. “I didn’t assign you to work under Jakkobs, did I?”
I ripped myself out of his grip and turned around, trying to get away from his intoxicating minty scent. I couldn’t handle the way it was making my heart race. “Well, Roman, if you don’t want to see me in it, then take it off.”
He let out a low growl that made me shiver in… delight… and pushed me against the door. His stubble rubbing against the nape of my neck. His warm breath on my ear. His fingers gliding around my throat. Fuck whatever I said about not needing him last night.
“Fuck, Isabella,” he breathed, nose training up the side of my neck. “Don’t tempt me because I will bend you over your mother’s desk and rip off every single piece of your clothing. I can’t handle this anymore.”
“You’re all talk.”
No, whatever it was between us would never be the same… but having him touch me—even like this—made my wolf happy. She wanted him even though it was wrong, and I wanted my old friend Roman back. If him touching me like this was the only way I could smell his scent or be comfortable in his arms… then so be it.
He growled and roughly pulled me closer to him with a fistful of my hair, then curled his fingers into my neck. “All talk?” He scoffed.
In one moment, he pulled up the back of my jacket, pushed down my pants, and pressed himself into me from behind, making me feel his cock through his jeans on my ass. “I would take you right here, Isabella. Would make you beg me to stop. Would leave you stumbling out of this fucking room.” He smirked, and I clenched. “But you said you didn’t need me.”
I dug my fingernails into the door, cursing under my breath.
He plunged a finger into my pussy. “You don’t need this?” he asked. I clenched around his finger, and he added another one. “Huh?”
“Roman,” I said, grasping his wrist in my hand but not stopping him. He curled his fingers, hitting my g-spot. “Holy…” I breathed out, a wave of heat warming my core, and pressed my knees together.
He growled lowly, his teeth on my neck, and stepped between my feet to push them apart. “Roman.” I moaned. My pussy tightened, the pressure almost becoming unbearable. I squeezed my eyes shut. “Oh, my Moon Goddess.”
“Tell me what I want to hear, Isabella.”
“N-no.” I reached behind me to grasp his cock through his pants and stroked it at the same pace. “Fuck, I want you inside me.”
He swore under his breath, lips grazing against my jaw. His fingers moved quicker. I clenched, the pressure rising in my core. “I bet you taste so fucking good.”
I parted my lips, my legs collapsing. My fingers dug into the door, trying to find anything I could to hold myself up. My core pulsed over and over and over on him until I had released all of my juices.
When I finished, he pulled his fingers out of me and released my neck. Someone wiggled the doorknob, and my eyes widened. I pulled up my pants and watched Roman suck his fingers into his mouth, his eyes rolling back into his head—as if I was the sweetest thing he had ever tasted.
The door was suddenly pulled open, and Mom stood there. Her dark brows were furrowed as she looked between us. Then she bowed her head toward Roman, smiling tensely. “Alpha, I hope my daughter isn’t being a nuisance...”
I gazed over at him. He was fighting to keep his wolf contained, his golden eyes shining through Roman’s green irises. He clenched his jaw. “Of course, not.” Then he walked right out of the room, leaving me standing in front of Mom, trying not to tremble. “I’ll see you at the assignment party tonight, Isabella.”
Chapter 17
Isabella
Roman held a party for the graduates every year since his parents died, celebrating not only the assignments but graduating from their education. The parties were always bigger and better than the previous year, and today was no different.
Moonflowers were scattered around the backyard of the packhouse and throughout the forest leading to the pack lake, where Vanessa was probably half-naked and flirting with some warriors already.
“I’m gonna find Derek,” I said to Mom and Dad after we arrived. When I had disappeared into the crowd, I tugged my hair up into a high bun, showing off the pink mark that Roman left on my neck earlier.
Derek stood by the grill, stacking three hamburgers on top of each other on his plate. I grabbed a plate from one of the tables that housed food that pack members had cooked for this special occasion. Mel’s hotdogs. Toni’s chicken wrapped in bacon. Bob’s casserole. At least Dad didn’t bring his meatloaf.
Roman walked up next to me, gazing around the table. He glanced in my direction, his scent so sweet.
“What?” I asked, grabbing a heaping portion of the casserole.
“Nothing,” he said, eyeing the pink hickey on my neck. “Did I say anything?”
I sucked in a breath when he grabbed the spoon from my hand, our fingers brushing against each other. It was such a soft, light touch. Nothing like earlier. Nothing like every other night we had been together. I looked down at my plate and gulped.
He didn’t need to say anything for me to wish that things were different, for me to remember that drawing. The way he was looking at me. The same way he was looking at me the other night in his truck.
If he didn’t assign me as a nurse, I wouldn’t have thought about going to the Lycans. I just wanted to stay here with my friends and my family and him.
His fingers lingered against mine, my knuckles against his. We didn’t speak a single word, just stood there, quietly taking in each other’s presence. Then—when I couldn’t handle it any longer—I pulled away and walked toward the grill. Away from him. Away from the man that made my wolf feel things that she should never feel.
Derek wasn’t standing by the grill anymore. I stopped in my tracks, looking around. Rachel walked up to me in a maroon one-piece swimsuit, her dark hair wet from the lake. “Hey,” she said, wrapping a towel around her body. “What happened when I left the room this morning…” She glanced over at Roman who had his back turned. “... with Alpha Roman?”
I arched a brow, a slight smile stretching across my face. So, she wanted tea.
“Nothing,” I said.
“Isabella!” Vanessa walked over to us in a small white string bikini, her breasts barely covered by the small piece of fabric. Beads of water dripped down her tan skin. “Are you coming in?”
After ignoring Vanessa, I turned back to Rachel. She lightly pushed me. “Oh, don’t give me that. What’s going on between you two? I could just feel all that tension between you both.”
I pulled some hair over my hickey. “There is nothing going on between us.”
“Going on between who?” Vanessa asked, shaking out her wet hair, her breasts bouncing with it. She puckered her red lips and arched a brow. “Does Isabella have a secret boyfriend?”
Oh, my fucking god. What was wrong with her?
“Do you? Is it your mate?” she asked, her expression suddenly blank. “What does he look lik—”
“Vanessa, I don’t want to talk about it right now.”
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