Jack Harkaway's Boy Tinker Among The Turks
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CHAPTER LX.
TURKISH CUSTOMS--JACK GIVES THE ORPHAN A NOTION OF WHAT HE MAYEXPECT--MATRIMONIAL WEAKNESSES--PASHA BLUEBEARD--THE SORT OF A MAN HEIS--HIS EXCELLENCY'S VISIT--MR. FIGGINS IS SPECIALLY INVITED--HOPESAND FEARS.
Jack found Mr. Figgins in his cabin, squatting on a cushioncross-legged.
Tinker and Bogey were attending upon him.
Since their desperate dive into the sea, and the adventure with theshark, the two darkeys and the orphan had become fast friends.
"Hullo, Mr. Figgins," said Jack, in surprise, "what's going forwardnow?"
"Only practising Turkish manners and customs," returned Mr. Figgins,quite seriously. "I mean to go ashore to-morrow, and make someacquaintances; I shouldn't like to appear quite strange when I gotashore. When in Rome----"
"You must do as the Romans do," added young Jack.
"Yes; and when in Turkey," said the orphan, "you must----"
"Do as the Turkeys do," concluded Jack.
"Precisely," added the orphan. "That's it."
"You are practising to smoke the long hookah to begin with."
"Yes--no--it's a chibouk," said Mr. Figgins. "That is all you have toknow, I believe, to make yourself thoroughly well received in Turkishpolite society."
"Every thing," responded Jack, "with a hook--ah."
"I didn't feel very comfortable over it at first," said the orphan,"but I'm getting on now."
"There's one danger you are exposed to on going ashore."
"What's that?"
"Any gentleman having the slightest pretensions to good looks is nearlyalways obliged to get married a few times."
Mr. Figgins stared aghast at this.
"A few times?"
"Yes."
"But I'm an orphan."
"No matter; it's a fact, sir, I assure you," said Jack, gravely.
Mr. Figgins looked exceedingly alarmed.
"If I could believe that there was any thing more in that than yourjoking, Mr. Jack, I should be precious uncomfortable."
"Why?"
"Because my experience of matrimony has been any thing but pleasantalready," responded the orphan.
"You have been married, then?" said Jack, in surprise.
"Once."
"Very moderate that, sir," said Jack. "You are a widower, I suppose,then?"
"I suppose so."
"You are not sure?"
"Not quite."
"Ah, well, then, it won't be so bad for you as it might."
"What won't?"
"Marriage."
"I beg your pardon, Mr. Jack," exclaimed the orphan; "my experience ofthe happy state was any thing but agreeable with one wife. Goodnessknows how long I should survive if I had, as you say, several wives."
"Don't worry yourself, Mr. Figgins," said Jack, "but it is just as wellto be prepared."
"For what?"
"An emergency. You don't know what might happen to you in thiscountry."
Mr. Figgins looked really very anxious at this.
"I don't well see how they can marry a man."
"That's not the question, Mr. Figgins. You could refuse. It would costyou your life for a certainty."
The orphan nearly rolled off his cushion.
"What!"
"Fact, I assure you," said Jack, gravely.
"Explain."
"You will be expected to pay a visit of state to the pasha."
"Yes."
"That is the greatest honour on landing for a stranger."
"What is a pasha?"
"The governor of the province, a regular Bung."
"Well."
"Bluebeard was a pasha, you remember."
"No, no," interrupted the orphan, delighted to show his historicalaccuracy. "Bluebeard was a bashaw."
"It is the same thing, another way of writing or pronouncing theidentical same dignity or rank. Well, you know that polygamy is the petvice of the followers of Islam."
"Oh, it's dreadful, Jack."
"The greater the man, the greater the polygamist. A pasha has as manywives as he can keep, and more too. The pasha of this province is notrich for his rank, and for his matrimonial proclivities."
"Lor'!"
"How many wives should you suppose he has?" asked Jack, with an air ofdeep gravity.
"Don't know," replied the orphan, quietly.
"Ninety-eight living."
Mr. Figgins jumped up and dropped his chibouk.
"Never."
"A fact," asserted Jack, with gravity.
"Why, the man must be a regular Bluebeard."
"You've hit it, sir," responded Jack; "that's the sort of man he is."
"Well, that is all very well for the Turks and for these old sinnersthe pashas, but I am an Englishman."
"This is the way it will most likely be done," continued Jack. "On yourpresentation to his excellency the pasha, you are expected to make somepresent. The pasha makes a return visit of ceremony, and leaves behindhim some solid evidence of his liberality."
"Well?"
"Well, but the very highest compliment that a pasha can pay you is toleave you one of his wives. He generally makes it an old stock-keeper,something that has been a good thirty years or so in the seraglio."
Mr. Figgins took the liveliest interest in this narrative.
He was growing rapidly convinced of the truth of Jack's descriptions ofthese singular manners and customs of the country in which they were.
Yet he eyed Jack as one who has a lingering doubt.
"Ahem!" said Mr. Figgins, "I don't think that I shall join you on yourvisit ashore in the morning."
"We'll see in the morning," said Jack; "it's a pity to put off yourtrip for the sake of such a trifling danger as that of having a wife orso given to you."
"It's no use," said Mr. Figgins, "my mind is fully made up; I shall notvisit the pasha."
"It will be taken as a grave insult to go ashore without paying yourrespects to his excellency."
"I can't help that," returned the orphan, resolutely; "I won't visithim."
"Mr. Figgins," said Jack, in a voice of deep solemnity, "these Turksare cruel, vindictive, and revengeful. The last Englishman who refusedwas, by order of the pasha, skinned alive, placed on the sunny side ofa wall, and blown to death by flies."
"Surely the Turks are not such barbarians," said Mr. Figgins.
"You'll find they are. They'd think no more of polishing you off thanof killing a fly."
If that rascal Jack intended to make poor Mr. Figgins uneasy, hecertainly succeeded very well.
Mr. Figgins looked supremely miserable.
"Good night, Mr. Figgins. Think it over."
"I tell you I----"
"Never mind, don't decide too rashly. Pleasant dreams."
"Pleasant dreams," said the orphan. "I shall have the nightmare."
The orphan's pillow was haunted that night by visions of a terriblenature.
He fancied himself in the presence of a turbaned Turk, a powerfulpasha, who was sitting cross-legged on an ottoman, smoking a pipe, ofendless length, and holding in his hand a drawn sword--a scimitar thatlooked ready to chop his head off.
Beside this terrible Turk stood five ladies, in baggy trousers, andlong veils.
No words were spoken, but instinctively the orphan knew that he had todecide between the scimitar and the quintet of wives--wall-flowers ofthe pasha's harem.
Silently, in mute horror, the orphan was about to submit to the leastof the two evils, and choose a wife.
Then he awoke suddenly.
What an immense relief it was to find it only a dream after all.
"I don't quite believe that young Harkaway," said the orphan,dubiously; "he is such a dreadful practical joker. But I won't go onshore, nevertheless. It's not very interesting to see these savages,after all; they really are nothing more than savages."
And after a long and tedious time spent in endeavouring to get to sleepagain, he dropped off.
But only to dream again about
getting very much married.
* * * *
He slept far into the morning, for his dreams had disturbed him much,and he was tired out.
When he awoke, there was someone knocking at his cabin door.
"Come in."
"It's only me, Mr. Figgins," said a familiar voice.
"Come in, captain."
Captain Deering entered.
"Not up yet, Mr. Figgins?" he said, in surprise. "We've got visitorsaboard already."
"Dear me."
"Distinguished visitors. The pasha and his suite."
"You don't say so?" exclaimed the orphan, sitting up.
"Fact, sir," returned the captain. "It must be ten years since I lasthad the honour of an interview with his excellency."
"You know him, then, Captain Deering?"
"Rather. Been here often. Know every inch of the country," said thecaptain.
"What sort of a man is the pasha?" said the orphan, thinking of Jack'sstatement.
"Oh, a decent fellow enough, unless he's riled," was the reply.
"Do you speak the language?" said the orphan.
"Like a native."
"Is he as much married as they say?" demanded Mr. Figgins.
The captain smiled.
"His excellency has a weakness that way; but," he added, in a warningvoice, "you must not make any allusion to that."
"I won't see him," said Mr. Figgins. "I don't intend to visit him."
"But I have come to fetch you to pay your respects."
"Where?"
"Here, on board, in the state saloon."
"But----"
"Make haste, Mr. Figgins," interrupted Captain Deering. "It is no joketo make a pasha wait. Look alive. I'll come and fetch you in fiveminutes. Up you get."
And then Captain Deering departed.
Mr. Figgins was sorely perplexed now.
But he arose and began to dress himself as quickly as possible.
"After all," he said to himself, "it is just as well. I shouldcertainly like to see the pasha, and this is a bit of luck, for there'sno danger here at any rate, if what that young Harkaway said was true."
He went to the cabin door and shouted out for Tinker.
"Tinker!"
"He's engaged," answered Captain Deering, who was close by.
"I want him."
"He's away, attending his excellency in the saloon," returned CaptainDeering.
"Bogey then."
"Bogey's there too."
"Never mind."
"Are you nearly ready?"
"Yes"
"Look sharp. I wouldn't have his excellency put out of temper for theworld; it would be sure to result in the bowstringing of a few of hispoor devils of slaves when he got ashore again, and you wouldn't careto have that on your conscience."
Mr. Figgins very hurriedly completed his toilet.
"What a fiend this wretched old bigamist must be," he said to himself."I'm precious glad that young Harkaway warned me, after all. I mighthave got into some trouble if I had gone ashore without knowing this."
"Stop," said the captain. "Have you any thing to take his excellency asa present?"
This made the orphan feel somewhat nervous.
It tended to confirm what young Jack had said.
"It is, then, the custom to make presents?" he said.
"Yes."
"What shall I give?"
"Any thing. That's a very nice watch you wear."
"Must I give that?"
"Yes. His excellency is sure to present you with a much richerone--that's Turkish etiquette."
This again corroborated Jack's words.
Yet it was a far more pleasant way of putting it than Jack had thoughtfit to do.
Mr. Figgins only objected to a present of wives.
Any thing rich in the way of jewellery was quite another matter.
"On entering the presence, you have only to prostrate yourself threetimes; the third time you work it so that you just touch hisexcellency's toe with your lips."
"I hope his excellency's boots will be clean."
"His excellency would not insult you by letting you kiss his boot. Noboot or stocking does he wear."
Mr. Figgins made an awfully wry face at this.
"Ugh! I don't like the idea of kissing a naked toe."
"You'll soon get used to it," said the captain, cheerfully, "whenyou've kissed as many pashas' toes as I have. Hold your tongue--here weare."
He pushed open the saloon door and ushered Mr. Figgins into thepresence of his excellency.