Shadows and Embers

by Lindsey Richardson

  Stumbling over something, I let out a cry. Several hands swarmed over me, but I cast a spell and they moved away. Once I was standing I could see the gleaming smile of Alaire’s. Rahela stood next to him, appearing to look more like a bystander. There was a knife in Alaire’s hand, but he handed it to his partner. He approached me with a crooked smile. After all the times he managed to outwit me in training, you would have thought he’d stop finding it amusing. That wasn’t the case for him; he seemed to enjoy the thought of “killing” me. To make it worse, he might humiliate me in front of Rahela. I couldn’t allow her to see my weakness.

  I whispered a word and held out my hand, conquering a flame. It waited for my command to attack. I released it, but Alaire darted quickly to avoid it. He lifted his hand, sending me back into a tree. My back hit the tree, scrapping against, and for a moment I thought he had broken every bone in my body. The pain rose up into my spine, but despite the discomfort, I performed a spell with ice shards. They slashed out toward Alaire, but my vision was hazing as I tried to watch.

  “Now use the weapon like I explained to you earlier,” Alaire said to Rahela, who I could faintly see the outline of.

  “No Alaire…” I murmured, holding out my hand to him. Perhaps he hadn’t meant to throw me with such force, but I feared the pain was real in every aspect.

  Rahela spoke softly. “I can’t kill him; he’s my partner.”

  “No,” Alaire corrected her, “In training those rules don’t apply. We’re a team; imagine he’s someone else and finish it.”

  I could see her feet shuffling like she was unsure if she should listen to him. He had sounded much too harsh for this being her second attempt with magical weaponry.

  “Here, we’ll do it together,” he said at her hesitation. He touched her hand that held the dagger and gripped it, trying to steady her. While he directed her on how to aim, I tried to push myself off the ground. The pain would not cease; I could feel it through my entire body now. I mumbled a spell, but Alaire seemed prepared and countered it. He was too strong for me to overcome, especially considering my condition. He and Rahela appeared more like distant figures, though I was certain they were closer to me than before.

  “One, two, and three…” Alaire whispered.

  I could see the dagger gleaming, and then the next instant it was flying through the air. Though I performed a counter spell, the weapon had not stopped. Then I heard it strike against something hard, but when I looked down nothing had happened to me.

  Rahela sighed. “It didn’t work.”

  “We did everything right. The only reason you wouldn’t be able to do that is if…” Alaire stopped.

  I knew what he was about to say, for we witnessed the shocking truth ourselves. Whatever went wrong with the spell meant Rahela wasn’t ready to use magical weaponry. The last thing we needed was for her to injure herself in the process. While Alaire explained this concept, I tried once more to stand. The ground looked fuzzy, and as I pressed my hand against the grass the pain in my back shot up. I groaned, wishing for the aching to cease. As I pushed myself up, there was another sound I heard. It sounded like something was moving quickly through the air. Leave it to Alaire to kill me off next…

  It wasn’t Alaire, though.

  “Jacquette!” he shrieked.

  My knees quivered, and I fell back down again. A loud thud, and then I was lying on the tree roots.

  There was another quick movement in the air, thus I determined Jacquette was using arrows. She was terrible with any other weapon, though she never revealed why.

  “Now you and your partner are at my mercy. Well,” she paused momentarily, “actually you aren’t. Nicia finished off Malin, and now I’ve dealt with the both of you.”

  There was silence and then, “Oh come on, Léal, stand up! We’ve won already.”

  Jacquette’s delicate fingers grabbed onto the back of my tunic in a desperate attempt to force me up. I turned my head, seeing a blur of her, and then grabbed on for anything. I grasped around her waist, slowly standing with her.

  “You’re all right; I’ve got you,” she mumbled, patting my back gently. I winced at her touch, which brought forth more aching.

  In a louder voice, she said, “Alaire, won’t you carry him please? My arms are too weak…”

  Seconds later Alaire’s strong arms were wrapped around my chest, trying to hold me up. Then there was a stick that cracked, and my eyes darted toward the sound. My vision continued to fade in and out, but I could determine it was Esmour the moment he spoke. During training he never showed himself unless a battle ended or someone needed medical help.

  Clapping his hands together, Esmour said, “Well done, Jacquette. To be honest, I didn’t think you had it in you. Perhaps this will be a reminder to the rest of you that this is no mere game.”

  “Master…” I grumbled.

  “But,” he continued as if he had not heard me, “Rahela, you might have to hold off on using magical weaponry any time soon. Alas, not all magicians have the power to use it correctly. Only time will tell, but for now I ask that you not use it unless you’re in my presence. Weapons are dangerously deadly.”

  I grasped one of Alaire’s hands, hoping he would understand. How could I feel all of this pain without anyone else realizing it?

  “Sir, I’m afraid there has been an accident. Léal was hurt in combat. It was my fault…” Alaire said, though his voice lowered with the final words.

  “No, you cannot pity your actions. This man was your opponent today; you fought him fairly. I think we’ve done enough training for today,” Esmour responded. He was calm in every manner; I could see his hands folded neatly together like everything had gone as according to plan.

  With the night growing late, no one argued to finish the training. Alaire carried me back while the others followed closely behind him. Though I weighed less than him, I was taken aback by his strength to carry me the entire way. Occasionally he made remarks about Nicia and Malin’s absence, swearing we would never find them now that they were alone. Even so, he whispered this so the others would not hear.

  ***

  An hour passed before we recovered Nicia and Malin. According to Nicia, they had been separated after their last fight. Malin confirmed this information, and there was little debate on the truth in it. It was already late enough, and minutes later we arrived in town. The lights were out, homes were quiet, and the street was empty. We could not afford to cause a scene upon our return. Instead, everyone departed and returned to their home. Alaire and I journeyed back to Esmour’s house, since Esmour understood the risk of returning me home when Mama would be awake. Sometimes she would wake up during the middle of the night and notice my absence, and thus she would wait no matter how many hours it would take.

  I drifted in and out of sleep. Without realizing it, I was in Alaire’s arms and then suddenly laid down on a bed to rest. I closed my eyes, though there were murmurs nearby. A female’s voice, whom I assumed was Esmour’s healer, Jacial, whispered something. Since I already lay on my stomach, she was able to easily feel my back for injuries. All the while I remained quiet, barely remembering at times where I was and what was happening. After removing my tunic and performing her duties, she left me.

  When I opened my eyes I assumed that I was entirely alone. The room was silent, and the only light was from a candle that I couldn’t see. My face was turned toward the wall, looking out at the window. Had I fallen asleep? Frowning, I turned my head to face the other way. Alaire was sitting on the floor with his head hanging down.

  “Alaire,” I whispered.

  He didn’t move.

  “Wake up already old man,” I hissed. There was no response again, and I considered ways to gain his attention. Perhaps I could throw my pillow at him…

  An unfamiliar voice spoke loudly from the room next door. I couldn’t understand what the stranger said, but there was no mistaking Esmour’s response.

  “Keep your voice down! You’re not welcome
d in my home,” Esmour said. For the first time there was something different about the way he spoke. It almost sounded like fear. There must have been a misunderstanding. Every man has his fears, but my master did not express his.

  The stranger, who was another man, spoke. Alas, I could not overhear every word.

  “Keep… magicians in line. The downfall… avoidable… I’m wasting time… you know their fate,” he said. His voice rose and fell; important words were inaudible.

  Slowly, I rolled over and sat up. Whatever treatment the healer performed had eased the pain. I snatched my tunic from the edge of the bed, pulled it over my head, and snuck out of the room. Alaire remained asleep and unbothered, but there was not enough time to wake him. Esmour’s conversation with this stranger sounded mysterious and dangerous. I had to know the true nature of the stranger’s presence before he left.

  In the hallway I could see the light in the next room. The men’s shadows did not appear, but their lowered voices suggested that their meeting might not be a planned one. Esmour occasionally spoke with unfamiliar guests in the privacy of his home, seeing as he owned and managed properties of land outside of Neutadt. However, this new man was not one I heard before. Usually when Esmour met with business men he spoke as accordingly. Goosebumps rose up my arms with the thought of the meeting having some other purpose.

  Esmour chuckled uneasily. “You will never know what knowledge I possess. Now please leave before I kindly throw you out into the streets where you belong.”

  “I am not your pet. Unlike your worthless magicians, I have a mind of my own. I shall leave whenever I please,” the other man said with confidence.

  “I’ll kill you,” Esmour growled.

  “Why must it always come to this when I suggest an idea? You do not rule me, nor shall you ever have the chance. Next time you disgrace me I will personally attack one of your men,” the stranger replied coldly. There was the sound of glass shattering, and then a screech echoed into the hall.

  Though I wanted to be certain that Esmour was alive and well, I ran back into my room. Kneeling down, I tapped Alaire’s shoulder. Alaire opened his eyes and looked up at me with a brow raised.

  “What are you doing?” he asked.

  Quietly, I replied, “Listening to secrets hidden behind these walls.”

  Chapter Six

  One Man’s Fate

  Esmour stomped into the room with words flying out of his mouth faster than we could grasp. He denied everything about the meeting, and he swore I had been in too poor of health to have overheard such “nonsense.” All the while his eyes were twitching, and I thought back to the noise I had heard. Did he think we were blind and deaf? Beads of sweat ran down his temple and each time he spoke he sounded like he was out of breath.

  “You invade my privacy in my own home! Honestly, Léal, I expected more of you,” he continued on, pointing at me.

  “Who was the man? That’s all I want to know. I heard you threatening him, so who was he?” I asked as I stood up to face him.

  He glared at me, but he offered no answer. Instead he growled, “Go home before your mother worries herself sick, young Irvine.”

  I frowned as he exited from the room without another word. I couldn’t count the number of times he left with the same look in his face like I had disappointed him more than he would ever express. Then he would casually call me “young Irvine” to mock me of my father’s absence, to remind me that I would never be like him.

  Alaire’s voice broke through my angered thoughts. “What happened between the two of you?”

  I hadn’t realized until now that he was standing next to me, leaning over my shoulder as if expecting something.

  “Let me breathe a little!” I said, taking a step forward.

  “I know that look. You can’t fool me; what’s bothering you? What did the man say?” he asked with pleading eyes. That damn look he thought could win anybody over, even the men.

  Flexing my hands, I replied, “He talked about the downfall of magicians, and he seemed to know about Destin. I think he was trying to warn Esmour about something.”

  Alaire grunted, and then he started pacing back and forth in the room. If I let him, he could pace all day long and not notice.

  “What should we do?” I asked. Was it possible Esmour had been speaking with a White magician? It was impossible; he hated their kind and swore the only time he could handle them was in battle. He would have no reason to meet with our greatest enemy, and no enemy of ours would care about the downfall of our species. After all, were we not feared? Despite false accusations, it did earn us some respect in battle. The White magicians knew full well that our magic could destroy them as easily as theirs could us.

  At last Alaire offered his own opinion.

  “If Esmour is lying, we’ll prove it. Catch him in one of his lies and reveal him for who he really is. I swear that man’s gone mad recently…” he said, shaking his head.

  “What makes you say that?”

  In a quieter voice, he answered, “We shouldn’t discuss this in his house. I’ll meet you at the cemetery tomorrow. Is noon too soon?”

  “Not soon enough, my friend,” I replied.

  Approaching him, I patted him on the back and walked with him to the exit. We did not see Esmour as we left and wasted no time searching for him. Once we were outside the streets were still empty, though the sun would be rising in a few hours. As we walked in silence I couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was changing. It was not the weather or even the year; either Esmour was changing, or I was. At what point do lies tear apart a family? The man in that house was no man I knew, and perhaps the steps I walked were ones I would regret in time.

  “This was easier when we were young,” I murmured, thinking Alaire wouldn’t hear me.

  “You’re sixteen; that’s barely old at all,” he responded.

  Smirking, I said, “You really are an old man.”

  I bid him goodnight and walked up the path that led to my home. There was a candle light shining through a window downstairs, meaning Mama was already awake. It occurred to me that eventually she would have to hear the truth, no matter how much she would hate it. It wasn’t my fault that she had gone through with Kinhlr because she feared her own power.

  As I approached the door and twisted the doorknob, I considered telling her. I would tell her who I really was, I’d tell her start to finish who I had become. This time, this one time, I would say it to her face like the words weren’t scratching at the back of my throat to be spoken. It was simple: tell the truth.

  Opening the door, I stepped in and closed it quietly behind me. As I advanced further into the lounge room, Mama was sitting by the fireplace with a needle and thread. Gulping, I took another step and then another until I was finally looking down at her frail figure. Her hands were wrinkled, and her face was thinner than it had been years before. Streaks of gray throughout her already-light-colored hair suggested that she was older than forty when it fact she was in her early thirties. As if she could sense me looking her over, she turned around with a puckered brow.

  “Where have you been all night, son?” she asked as she lowered the fabric she was sewing together.

  I let out a long sigh, debating on how I could tell her. Why was it difficult to say? Before long I would be reaching manhood, and I had no desire to waste it all with explanations to Mama about the secrets I hid.

  Narrowing her eyes on me, Mama added, “You know it’s not safe out there! The magical world is not a place for people like us. The Dark magicians run rampant through town because no one stops them, and our neighbors are losing their sanity over it. What will it take for you to realize you’re not safe here?”

  The oxygen felt like it had been sucked out of the room. I choked, holding my hand against my chest, and seriously considered that I might not be able to breathe.

  Still struggling to breathe, I managed to force out, “I was with Nicia.”

  At first Mama stared blank
ly at me, as if she knew it was a complete lie. Then at last she replied, “Good, I would like to see my only child married before my time comes.”

  I barely nodded and instead turned around for the staircase. As I approached the steps, her words echoed through my head. My hand remained clutched against my chest, and I feared my heart would give out at any minute. Even while I walked up the staircase all I desired was to lie down in my bed. At least the darkness was aware of the mask I wore each morning and could not take off until nightfall.

  What if the people you love hated you for who you are? Every morning I wake up with that question in my mind, and each night I fall asleep with no better of an answer. The simple truth is that lies keep our loved ones safe. We tell them who we are; we make up a story so that we’re the hero they want us to be. It is not until the late hours of the night that we actually come to terms with the truth ourselves. This is a fate no man can outrun; this is a test no man has proven to win.

  How did you overcome it, father? Why can’t you be here to guide me? I wondered, dragging my hands against the walls.

  Then I reached my bedroom and the door was ajar, waiting for me to embrace the protection that the room offered. There was something on my bed, glimmering with the candle light shining on it. As I approached closer, I recognized it: Rahela’s destin ring. It occurred to me then that I hadn’t given it to her, but I was more concerned with how it was uncovered in the first place.

  A quiet voice spoke. “Be careful where you place your rings, master.”

  Turning my head, I only caught a glimpse of Liliana before she hurriedly dashed away. This wasn’t the first time she had found a destin ring; the only problem was that this one did not belong to me. I decided after our next mission I would give the ring to Rahela.

  Sighing, I snatched the ring and placed it on my nightstand with a piece of fabric to cover it. As I removed my tunic, I kept glancing back at the nightstand. It felt like someone was watching me, though I was entirely alone. Even so, I wasn’t about to risk anything. I advanced to the closest window and looked out. I nearly jumped, seeing the faintest figure of a man standing outside, but when I looked again he was gone. There was no sign of him, but perhaps the events of tonight had mixed up my vision.