Shadows and Embers

by Lindsey Richardson

  Chapter Ten

  Bed of Lilacs

  The blood covered my hands, staining them bright red. At first I wondered whose blood had been spilled, but upon looking down it was no mystery. She lay in my arms; her once warm and sweet lips were now white. Turning my head, I nearly yelped at the sight of Nicia. Though she wrapped her arms around me, none of it was any comfort. I had forgotten about her… just like I had forgotten about Rahela.

  Pulling away from me, Nicia said, “You were unconscious for several minutes. You sat there, holding her, and I couldn’t leave you out here alone.”

  I nodded slowly, though my head felt as heavy as bricks.

  “Kendrick?”

  “He ran into me, and I completed the mission,” she replied. More carefully she added, “We have to return to town; you need help.”

  “Rahela…” I whispered.

  Gazing down briefly, Nicia answered gravely. “Yes, her too.”

  She helped me stand, but the pain in my leg was not the unbearable part. It was the idea of the White magicians ripping another person from my hands. They had killed my father, destroyed my mother, and then they had the nerve to take Rahela.

  “I’ll carry her,” I insisted, refusing to let go of Rahela’s body.

  “You’re in no condition to—”

  “I will carry her,” I repeated.

  Nicia pouted, but she accepted nonetheless and helped carry Rahela. We used our magic to see in the dark. At least if anyone noticed the sparks they would find us. It started to rain, which only made the sparks less noticeable. There was the distant sound of thunder, and it seemed fitting. All of the angels in Heaven should sound their anger. The rain was refreshing, but each time I looked down at Rahela I frowned at her emotionless face. She would have hated the rain.

  “Iludi,” Nicia said abruptly.

  One of the sparks that was lighting our way formed into a dark red ball and shot up into the sky. It illuminated the forest with a red glow momentarily, and then it disappeared. If any of the magicians had seen it they would know we were in danger. We carried on for a few more minutes until there was a noise approaching us.

  “Lay her down, stay still; I’ll handle this,” Nicia hissed, withdrawing a knife from the thin belt on her dress. We both lowered Rahela, and then I remained still while Nicia advanced toward the noise.

  “Who goes there?” she called out.

  The faintest figure of a person stepped out from the trees.

  “Nicia?”

  “Malin?” her voice cracked and she dropped the knife.

  He stepped out into the light, and Nicia instantly ran to him and held him close as they embraced each other. Though he murmured something to her, it was inaudible from where I stood. Even so, I heard Nicia’s response.

  “I didn’t know what to do. He could have died,” she said.

  Malin embraced her once more, running his hands through her hair.

  “Let’s get out of here,” he responded, slowly releasing her.

  There was another noise approaching from behind them. As Malin and Nicia turned around, Alaire ran past them. He quickly stopped where I was, panting while he tried to catch his breath.

  “I ran… I just ran halfway across town…” he panted.

  Malin advanced toward Rahela. “Alaire, help me carry her.”

  “No, let me,” I countered.

  Alaire gasped, realizing what was wrong. He held his hand over his mouth.

  “There’s no time! You need a healer,” Malin shouted.

  Cowering, I watched as he lifted Rahela’s head. He motioned for Alaire to join him.

  “Come on, Leal,” Alaire said. He assisted me over to Rahela. He and Malin picked her up, and then Alaire gestured for me to help as well. I carried her legs, though Alaire was beside me lessening the amount of weight.

  With everyone gathered together, we started again. My legs felt like they would give out, but I refused to let it show. I had been reckless with the dagger, I had hesitated, and now the least I could do was carry Rahela home. Except none of us knew where home was for her. During the short time we spent with her, she was almost a stranger. All of these thoughts were uncomfortably familiar.

  Suddenly everyone stopped, and I pushed the threatening thoughts to the back of my mind. We waited outside of Esmour’s house while Nicia ran up to the door, banging at it violently. Alaire’s focus remained on me, but I had no desire to listen to his concern for my well-being. I kept staring at the door, blinking at it, waiting for Esmour to rush out.

  After several minutes there was no answer.

  “Curse him,” Nicia muttered. She turned to us and said, “Gavril is the closest healer; let’s move quickly.”

  Despite the sickness building up in my body, I could not make any objections. We had already wasted too much time. Rahela couldn’t wait another minute; she was the one who needed help. Why was I the only one thinking it? She wasn’t gone; there was time to save her.

  Moments later we were entering into the house, and I hadn’t stopped thinking about Rahela. Mama was the first one to see us, and to everyone’s surprise she shouted for Gavril. Exiting from a room nearby, Gavril rushed in and stopped at the sight of Rahela.

  “Lay her down. Leal, come rest in a chair while I grab supplies,” Gavril said.

  We lowered her body, and then Alaire wrapped his arm around me and led me to the closest chair. Everyone’s eyes were on me as if I was the top priority. Gavril and Nicia left the room for materials, and then it felt like I was left alone to stare at Rahela.

  “Help her first,” I whispered.

  Alaire was the only one close enough who could hear me. He leaned over and said, “I’ll find a way.”

  Then he rushed out of the room, leaving me to stare at the bloody floor. My vision started to blur again, but I could already hear someone returning. Slowly, I tried to raise my head, but I was only able to catch a glimpse of Gavril before my head dropped.

  “Are you able to help me with this procedure?” Gavril asked someone as he kneeled in front of me.

  “Of course,” Nicia responded.

  I closed my eyes, though my lips tried to form words. I couldn’t say or do anything. There was nothing but my thoughts, and all of them led back to Rahela. She was my partner, my contact, and in a way she felt like all I had left.

  ***

  When I awoke she was lying in front of me. Her eyes remained shut and her hands were lying on her stomach, holding onto a rose. One single rose and that was all it took to convince me to stand up. It wasn’t until I placed pressure on my leg that I felt the stinging pain.

  “Easy there, boy.”

  I turned to see Esmour in a light I never had before. He looked like a man who had lost everything. His face was stained with tears, and his eyes were swollen red. Esmour never once cried in public. There were others in Destin who had died, and he had not shed a single tear. It did not add up, especially since he and Rahela barely knew each other.

  “After her parents died in the war, Rahela was placed in the custody of her grandmother. I’ve been her guardian since the day she was born. I was supposed to protect her,” Esmour said, though his eyes never met with mine.

  “You were her guardian?” I asked, thinking I had misunderstood.

  Esmour sighed and said, “I know this is difficult for you, but from what I gather Rahela did not die in vain. She was with you until her last breath, and for that I thank you.”

  The irony of it was that he had no reason to thank me. If I had fought harder and been stronger, our beloved Rahela wouldn’t be dead. It starts with “thank you” and “I’m sorry for your loss,” but no one seems to realize you would have spent the rest of your life with this person. None of them understood the wound would stay forever like a permanent scar.

  “Will you say nothing more?” I asked after several minutes.

  Fiddling with his hands, Esmour replied, “One day you will meet a woman that you share an unbreakable bond with. Thi
s woman will lead you away from all of this to start a new life.”

  “Who?”

  He chuckled. “You know I’d tell you, but alas my vision did not reveal that.”

  It was no secret that Esmour was a foreseer. He explained it to everyone upon entering Destin. Usually he had visions of future missions, but this was the first time one directly involved me. Truthfully I didn’t know what to think of foreseers. Footsteps echoed in the room before I could decide if his vision held any truth.

  ‘Ready?” Esmour asked.

  I stared blankly, but he pointed to Rahela and I understood. Malin and Alaire started to advance toward her, but I held up my hand. If this was to be her departure, then it only seemed right for me to carry her. I took a step forward, bent over, and picked her up. With a nod to the others, I walked to the door. Mama waited there, holding the door open, but I avoided eye contact and carried on. Everyone followed behind me, not questioning why I was leading them into the forest. The magicians we lost in the past had been buried behind Esmour’s home. Rahela was different; there was a special place for her.

  I led them into the forest, refusing to look back. It didn’t matter if they followed me. Esmour had always said “the death of a partner is a tragic one,” and now those words felt like venom in my skin. Pushing that aside, I remained determined. This was possibly the most important moment of my life: lying my partner down to rest.

  In a matter of minutes I stopped in front of the lake. The lake was behind the forest, but all the same it was important to our town. There was a bed of lilac flowers nearby, which had always grown there. It seemed right that Rahela be buried here. As Malin and Esmour started digging, Nicia and Alaire stood on each side of me.

  “You can say something if you’d like,” Alaire offered, nudging my arm.

  I hesitated.

  “Go on,” Nicia said, “She would want to hear it.”

  I looked down at Rahela, and my pride could not have mattered less.

  “I never knew my father well enough to give him the proper burial he deserved. I suppose when a person dies you realize how little you knew about them,” I said, taking my eyes off of Rahela to watch the hole being dug.

  Frowning, I continued with, “No amount of words will do justice for the loss we experience today. I can’t even tell you who Rahela was, but she will always be remembered as my partner and a part of our family.”

  And I love her. I thought. The words struck me hard, seemingly hitting me all at once. During the fight I could have told her. I should have said it before she died in my arms, but I had been a coward. A single tear ran down my cheek, sinking into my lips.

  Nicia squeezed my arm and leaned over.

  “You were her family too,” she whispered. All the while I kept my focus on the grave.

  “Never blame yourself,” she added softly.

  Slowly, I said, “You don’t understand. I was too weak, too slow, and in the end… I killed her.”

  Pulling away from Nicia, I stepped up to the grave. Malin helped me place her in the ground, and then I picked up a lilac and threw it in. Alaire came to stand by my side while everyone else gathered around.

  “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…” he started.

  I bowed my head, hoping no one would look at me. I didn’t want to cry, and I certainly didn’t need pity for the loss. When I glanced up in search of Nicia she was crying on Malin’s shoulder. She sobbed as if she had known Rahela, but we both knew the reasons behind our tears. Both of us had the chance to save her tonight. Rahela was not the only causality; it felt like a part of Destin had died with her. Looking away from Nicia, I directed my attention to the moon. It was the brightest object in the sky, but its white glow was mocking us. It reminded me of them; the very people whom took lives without any remorse.

  Chapter Eleven

  Emptiness

  A month later…

  A woman screamed at the break of dusk. I jumped out of bed, half-dressed, and rushed downstairs. There was no one in the foyer except Liliana and another maid, cleaning tables and watering plants. I ignored them entirely and ran to the door. Upon opening the door, I saw no one was outside.

  “Are you well, master?” Liliana asked.

  I took a step back and closed the door.

  Turning around, I said, “I heard a woman screaming. No one else heard it?”

  Liliana and the others maid exchanged frowns.

  “You look pale. Should I call for Gavril?”

  “No, don’t be ridiculous! I’m heading out for a walk,” I replied bitterly.

  With that, I turned to the door, opened it, and left. This wasn’t the first time I awoke to a woman screaming. I didn’t have an explanation for the voices yet, but I was not losing my sanity. Tucking my hands behind my back, I headed for the forest. On my way there I knocked into something and cursed at my lack of attention. Rubbing my head, I looked up to see what it was.

  Enric grinned widely. “I was wondering when we’d have the opportunity to threaten each other again,” he said.

  “Did you forget my warning?” I asked.

  “You’re bluffing. If you kill me who will run Ewan’s company? You’re too busy practicing to focus on the work that he left for you,” he responded, narrowing his eyes.

  I shifted my feet.

  “What do you want? A reminder of pain because I have little patience for you today.” I growled.

  Enric grabbed the neck of my tunic and pulled me closer.

  Whispering, he said, “I want to know what you’ve been doing with my wife.”

  I raised my eyebrows. The last time I spoke with his wife, Alainne, had been last summer at her and Enric’s wedding. Alainne and I had history, but my involvement in Destin was too much to hide from her. While I hated Enric with every bone in my body, I was not about to cross him.

  “I have not spoken with her recently. Is she well?” I asked calmly, hoping he would not hear my voice crack.

  In a quieter voice he answered, “Alainne is with child, and she claims that the baby will be a Dark magician. I will father no such child, so tell me, why is my wife convinced of this?”

  My eyes widened, but it was impossible. Humans could not give birth to a child with magic. Even if a human was involved with a Dark magician, the chances were low. How could I possibly explain it to Enric? His grip on me would not loosen, and he seemed set on the idea that his wife had betrayed him.

  Cautiously, I said, “I’ll speak with Alainne later today, but I assure you that she is merely confused. I promise no one has laid a hand on your wife.”

  He released me, nearly causing me to fall, and then he walked away like nothing happened. Though I was certain that Alainne was foolishly confused, I had to speak with Esmour just in case. Once Enric was out of sight, I turned and rushed to Esmour’s house. With everyone being asleep, I did not have to worry about observant eyes. Hopefully if Enric was smart he would make sure that no one else heard about the child. This town would not be welcoming to the idea of a Dark magician living among them.

  By the time I reached Esmour’s house, I found him inside. He was sitting in the kitchen at a table, studying several pieces of paper.

  Rushing over to the table, I said, “Esmour, we have an issue.”

  “Not now,” he responded, groaning. “If this is about another girl you’ve found interest in, I wish you would spare me.”

  “I was never involved with Sorina,” I countered.

  Esmour grunted, but I ignored his accusations. I was tired of his lectures about women, and how I was only interested in them because it helped me cope with Rahela’s death.

  “This is important. Please—”

  He interjected. “Good god, this can’t be true!”

  When he only continued to stare at the paper in his hand, I tapped my foot impatiently. At last Esmour stood up and paced around the room.

  “I know how you feel about my spies, but this time they have brought back vital information. I can h
ardly believe it,” he explained as he continued pacing.

  I held my hand out, and he handed the paper over. My mouth dropped as I read it.

  At dusk we will be betrayed. One of our own will go through with Kinhlr.

  Nicia Ripnu is the traitor.

  My heart nearly gave out. Over the years Esmour appointed certain magicians to spy on our enemies. Why would Nicia betray us? This wasn't the first time someone had betrayed us, but it didn't make sense for Nicia to. She cared for Malin, she was a strong fighter, and something wasn’t adding up. Lately I had been distant from her, but talking to her reminded me of Rahela.

  With another glance at the report, I asked, “When did this arrive?”

  Esmour stood still, gasping.

  “Last night.”

  I dropped the paper, and we both left the house running. Fortunately Nicia’s house was directly across from Esmour’s, and the instant Esmour reached the door he banged on it. I stood by, watching in hopes that the commotion wouldn’t wake up the locals. No one answered, and when I turned to ask what to do next, Esmour broke down the door.

  “What if someone saw you?” I hissed.

  “Now you’re questioning my judgment? Come on,” he responded, running inside.

  Following after him, I secretly hoped that Nicia wasn’t home. Perhaps it had been some kind of terrible mistake. I bumped into Esmour and was proven wrong. Nicia sat in the middle of the room in a pure white dress. Her hair was tied back in a braid, and her left shoulder sleeve hung loosely, revealing her pale skin. There was a circle of candles surrounding her.

  “You traitor!” Esmour shouted, pointing a finger viscously at her.

  Nicia trembled but refrained from acknowledging his accusation. Stepping around Esmour, I dashed to Nicia and knelt beside her. She embraced me, sobbing, but as I wrapped my arms around her back I felt something wet. Rising my hand, I saw red stains. Gently, I turned her body to see her back. The triquetra mark had a bloody “x” through it. Though I had never seen Kinhlr performed, my mother had told me that during the spell the Light magician cut an “x” through the mark.