by Wendy Clarke
‘I’ll get a lift from Keira’s dad. They have to pass this way.’
She hated lying, but she knew there was no way he would let her go if he knew the truth. She saw it through his eyes: an older guy, a camper van, people she didn’t know. When put like that, it didn’t sound too good.
He reappeared with two mugs of tea and put them on the coffee table. ‘I don’t know, Beth. You’d better wait until your mum gets—’
‘Dad. I’m fifteen, not five.’
‘I know that and you know that, but your mum’s a different kettle of fish altogether.’
‘You’re as bad as Mum. You don’t want me to have any friends.’
He didn’t reply, but Beth could see from his face that she’d touched on something.
‘If you go,’ he said, ‘I want you back by ten thirty. No later… And if there’s any problem, ring me.’
‘There won’t be.’ Jumping up, she went over to him and kissed him on the cheek. ‘Thanks, Dad. You’re cool.’
‘Don’t I know it.’ He laughed.
He reached over and ruffled her hair, but her thoughts were already on the amazing evening she was about to have.
Seventeen
Ria
Ria stood in the bathroom, staring at the blue line. She’d been feeling rough for a few days, but it had been Leo who had persuaded her to buy the test. Closing the lid of the toilet, she sat down and placed a hand on her stomach, wondering how she felt about it. That she loved Gareth she had no doubt, but it was all too soon. They’d only known each other a few months.
She looked at her watch. Gareth would be home soon and she needed time to think about what this would mean for their relationship. She wasn’t exactly living in his apartment – most of her clothes were still in her flat – but they’d got into a routine where she would let herself in after her lectures had finished and would be waiting for him when he got home. Usually, he’d cook for her, but today, for a change, she’d decided to make something nice for him, remembering to pop into the supermarket on the way home. Feeling queasy, Ria swallowed the saliva that had filled her mouth at the thought of eating the salmon she’d bought earlier.
Closing the bathroom door behind her, she went into Gareth’s bedroom and sat down on the bed. On several occasions, he had asked her to move in with him, but she’d always resisted. It wasn’t that she thought anything would go wrong, it was just that having her own flat gave her a safety net. She looked around her, wondering if she could ever live here permanently. It was a very masculine apartment, but maybe she could do something about that. She took in the uncluttered floor, the clean lines of the black melamine fitted drawers and the mirrored wardrobe. She blushed at the thought of what had been reflected back at them the previous night when they’d made love.
Taking out her phone, she rang Leo’s number. It answered straight away.
‘Well?’
Ria felt her heart racing. ‘It’s positive!’
She heard Leo’s intake of breath. ‘Oh my God! What are you going to do? Are you pleased?’
‘I don’t know. I think I’m still in shock.’
‘Have you told Gareth yet?’
‘No, he’s not home. I think he said he was having a drink with some of the others after work.’
There was amusement in Leo’s voice. ‘I guess it won’t be long before you’re calling it your home too. What will you do about uni?’
That was something Ria hadn’t thought about. ‘I don’t know. Carry on, I suppose. I know Mum would help out, and there’s a crèche.’
‘Well, you don’t need to think about that now. What about Gareth? You reckon he’ll be happy about the baby?’
Ria frowned. ‘Why wouldn’t he be? He loves me.’
‘No reason. It’s just that you’re still in the honeymoon period, and having a baby will change things big time. Since the two of you got together and became joined at the hip, I hardly ever see you.’
‘That’s not true, Leo. I see you every day in lectures.’
‘I know, but it’s not the same as going out. I miss it. I can’t do next week. How about the one after? Friday? A girly night out, but you’ll have to forgo the Chardonnay. All the more for me.’
Ria tried to remember if she was doing anything; Gareth wouldn’t be happy if she changed any plans they’d made. She couldn’t think of anything though, and Leo was right, in the last few months they hadn’t seen nearly as much of each other as they used to. Maybe if Gareth and Leo’s boyfriend, Adam, had got on, it would have been easier, but the one time they’d met up with them both for a drink, Gareth had made it clear he’d thought Adam an idiot. They’d never done it again.
‘Friday might be all right. I’ll check with Gareth when he gets in.’ There was the sound of a key in the front door. ‘In fact, I think that might be him now.’
‘If you’re having to ask permission, Ria, I’ll take that as a no.’ The irritation in Leo’s voice was clear.
‘Don’t be like that. Just because Adam couldn’t care less where you are or what you’re doing.’ Sometimes she wondered whether Gareth might be right when he called their friendship ‘clingy’.
There was a pause at the other end and Ria wondered if she’d gone too far.
‘Leo?’
‘I’m sorry, Ria. Forget what I said. It’s nice you’ve got someone who cares for you. And you’re right, Adam could probably take a leaf out of Gareth’s book when it comes to making a girl feel special. Let’s not argue when you’ve got bigger things to think about. Go and tell Gareth the big news. You can let me know about Friday when I see you tomorrow, if you like. And, honestly, it really is great news.’
Ria was relieved. ‘Thanks Leo. Look, I’d better go. I’ll see you tomorrow.’
Putting the phone back into her pocket, Ria smoothed the bedspread, then went out into the hallway.
Gareth was standing by the front door, looking through the post, his tie loosened and his pinstripe shirt stretched across his broad back. His sandy hair, usually so carefully gelled, was ruffled where he’d run his fingers through it. Watching him, Ria felt a wave of desire. Sometimes she found it hard to believe that someone like him wanted to be with her.
He didn’t look up. ‘I’m expecting something from the Inland Revenue. Have you seen it?’
Ria went up behind him. Slipping her arms around him, she rested her cheek on his back, feeling the tautness of his muscles under his work shirt. ‘I picked everything up and put it on the table.’
He shook her off. ‘It should be here. Now I’m going to have to ring them.’
Ria stood with her arms at her sides. He hadn’t even said hello to her. The happiness she’d been feeling at seeing the little blue line was disappearing fast. ‘Is it that important?’
‘Of course it’s important,’ he snapped. ‘I wouldn’t be asking you about it otherwise.’
When she said nothing, he looked at her and his face softened. ‘Come on, sweetie. Don’t look at me like I’m some sort of ogre. I’ve had a bad day, that’s all.’ He drew her to him and kissed the top of her head. ‘You sit down and I’ll make you a cup of tea. You look shattered. Are you feeling okay?’
It was the perfect moment to tell him, but for some reason she couldn’t. Instead, she went into the living room, with its polished wooden floor, and sat down. Gareth followed.
She picked up the textbook she’d been trying to get her head around earlier, then put it down again. ‘Yes, I’m tired. After back-to-back lectures on international business and marketing communications, who wouldn’t be?’
‘Poor love. Maybe you’ve chosen the wrong course.’
‘I’m two years in, Gareth. It’s a bit late to be thinking that now.’
‘Yes, I suppose it is.’ Gareth went over to the black ash sideboard and poured himself a scotch; he seemed to have forgotten about the tea. ‘Who did you see today?’
Ria was puzzled by the question. ‘What do you mean, who did I see?’ She smiled. ‘There
are over fifty students on my course. Shall I name them all? There’s Rosie, Cas, Nick…’
He stood with drink in hand, regarding her. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. It’s just that when I’m not with you, I miss you. It helps if I can picture what you’re doing… Who you’re with.’ Taking out his phone, he looked at it. ‘You didn’t answer my calls.’
Three times, she’d seen a missed call message on her phone. She’d meant to ring him back but had forgotten.
She searched for an excuse. ‘I was in a tutorial, Gareth, and my phone was on silent. I didn’t realise.’
‘On silent.’ Gareth swirled the amber liquid around the whisky glass, then took a large mouthful. ‘Of course it was.’
Ria waited, wondering why she was so on edge. The air in the room felt static.
Then, as quickly as it had arrived, the tension dissolved as Gareth’s face broke into a smile. Walking over to her, he kissed the top of her head. ‘You take it easy. I’ll make a start on the dinner.’
Ria smiled and got up, trying to ignore the wave of nausea as she thought of the pink flesh of the fish. ‘You don’t need to do that. I thought I’d do the cooking tonight for a change. It’s about time I took a turn.’
Putting his drink on the glass coffee table, Gareth stared at her. ‘Are you saying you don’t like my cooking?’
‘Of course not.’
‘That’s good, because it wasn’t the impression you gave when you were stuffing your face with my lasagne last night.’
Ria flinched. ‘That wasn’t what I meant, Gareth.’
‘What did you mean then?’
Ria’s head was starting to ache. Too often, their conversations headed in this direction, but it was hard for him. His work was stressful, and it must be difficult coming home to a girlfriend who drifted into college for her few lectures and then came home again. ‘I just meant that you look after me so well, it would be nice to do something for you for a change.’
She touched his cheek. The stubble felt rough beneath her fingertips and it made her skin tingle. Bringing up her other hand, she drew his face down until it was level with hers, touching her lips against his. Feeling their warmth.
‘Please don’t be cross. I’ve something I need to tell you. Something good… Well, I think so, anyway.’
Gareth pulled away. ‘Can it wait? I’ve some important calls I need to make, and then there’s the dinner.’
‘No, I don’t think it can wait. I’ve had butterflies in my stomach since I found out.’
With a sigh, Gareth sat down on the leather settee, propping his feet on the coffee table, his black brogues reflected in the glass. ‘Don’t tell me: Leo has finally dumped that dickhead, Adam.’
Unsettled by his tone, Ria sat down next to him and took his hand. She ran her thumb over the gold signet ring on his little finger. ‘It’s not about them. It’s about us.’
‘What about us?’
Suddenly, her mouth felt dry. What if he wasn’t pleased? What if he wanted her to get rid of it? He’d had a bad day; maybe this wasn’t the time.
But he was looking at her differently now, his pale grey eyes locked on hers, drawing her in. It reminded her of the night they first met, when she’d felt she’d be happy to look into those eyes forever.
His tone had changed too. It was loving, coaxing. ‘Come on, sweetheart, you can tell me anything.’
‘I’m… I’m having a baby,’ she stammered. ‘We’re having a baby.’
She watched his face, trying to read it, but it was as though he was wearing a mask. Her heart was clenched like a fist. ‘Say something, Gareth. I know it’s a shock, but I need to know what you’re thinking.’
‘What I’m thinking? I’m thinking that this is the best possible news you could have given me.’
Lowering himself off the sofa, he knelt down and wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing his cheek against her stomach. When he looked up, Ria was amazed to see his eyes had filled with tears.
‘We’re going to have a baby,’ he said. ‘A little person who will tie us together. How could I be anything but happy?’
She studied his expression, scared to find sarcasm written there. Finding none, she carried on. ‘But it will affect everything… My studies… Where we live… What we do. You don’t mind?’
Putting an arm around her shoulders, he pulled her towards him so that her head was on his shoulder, the crisp cotton of his work shirt smooth beneath her cheek.
‘I’ll take care of you, Ria. We’ll get married and you won’t have to worry about a thing. I’ll be the best husband anyone could ask for.’
Tilting her face, he kissed her, and Ria responded, feeling she might die of happiness.
Eighteen
Beth
It had started to rain. Large drops that soaked into Beth’s top and stuck her jeans to her legs. She didn’t care, though. She didn’t care about anything any more. As the tail lights faded into the distance, she ran for home, hoping her parents wouldn’t smell the alcohol on her breath. She was sober now. The euphoria she’d felt earlier had left her, replaced by a growing realisation of what she’d done. It was no different to school – she’d made a fool of herself. Would he be laughing at her? Or worse still, pitying her?
The evening had started off well. She’d arrived at the campsite a little later than the time David had given her, not wanting to be the first there. As she’d crossed the field, she’d been surprised to see only two camping chairs set out beside the camper van and no one else in sight – not even David. Where was everyone?
A bottle each of red and white wine stood on a low fold-out table in front of the van. There were also some cans of coke and small bottles of beer, two of which were empty.
As she got nearer, David appeared from around the back of the camper, a sausage pronged on the end of his fork. ‘Had to put the barbeque round here to get it out of the wind. Help yourself to a drink; there’s wine… beer…’
‘Wine’s fine.’ She stood where she was, feeling awkward. ‘Where is everyone?’
David shrugged his shoulders. ‘Cried off. Decided to drive straight up to Edinburgh without a stop. Mad, if you ask me. I thought it would be a shame to waste a lovely evening, and anyway, I’d already bought the sausages.’ He nodded to the wine. ‘Go on… I’m not going to serve you.’
He disappeared again, and Beth went to the table and unscrewed the top from a bottle of red. She didn’t particularly like the taste of wine but, if she poured herself a coke, she’d look stupid. Next to the bottles were some plastic cups. She picked one up, unsure of how much to pour herself. Deciding that half a cup looked about right, she went over to one of the green camping chairs. It rocked on its spindly legs as she sat down, slopping wine up the sides of her glass.
‘Sorry, these chairs were the best I could do,’ David said, handing her one of the two paper plates that he’d balanced on his arm like a waiter. On it was a rather overdone sausage, a burger, a pile of coleslaw and some salad leaves. He sat down next to her in the only other chair, and she couldn’t help wondering where the others would have sat.
‘It’s fine.’
‘That’s good, as there’s nothing else.’ Putting his plate on the grass, he tipped the bottle of beer he’d been holding in his other hand to his lips and drank. ‘I still feel as though I don’t know much about you, and I want to know everything. For a start, you’ve not told me how long you’ve lived here?’
Beth stared at the sausage on her plate, unsure of how to eat it without cutlery. ‘About nine years.’
‘It’s a nice place,’ he said. ‘I could quite happily live here myself. Church Langdon, I mean – not this crappy campsite. Although I’m becoming increasingly fond of it, especially when the couple in the tent over there decide to shag by lamplight. Do you reckon they know how translucent the canvas is?’
Beth felt her cheeks burn. She took a large gulp of wine. To her inexperienced palate, it tasted dry and slightly acidic. Not pleasant at all.
‘I can see Blackstone Farm and the campsite from the house.’ She stopped, unsure why she’d told him this.
‘Then you’ll be able to see me when I pop outside for my early morning cup of tea in my boxers.’ He chuckled and reached behind him for a plastic bag of seeded buns, taking one for himself and offering one to Beth.
Beth looked away, embarrassed. ‘I can’t see the camper van, just the tents in the first part of the field near the barn.’
David handed her a tub of margarine and a knife. ‘Of course, you can’t. Don’t look so worried… I was only kidding. Anyway, I’m rarely up before ten and when I am, I like to drink my tea in the buff!’
It was hard to know how to respond to his jokes, so she said nothing. Instead, she buttered her bun and slotted her burger into it. Balancing her plate on her lap, she bent and picked up her plastic cup from the ground, then took another gulp from it.
It was a beautiful evening, a line of cool shadow creeping up the mountains in the distance until just their summits were alight. It was strange to be here with him alone, but any feelings of unease melted away when he smiled at her and she felt her heart beat faster.
The wine was warming her, giving her a confidence she didn’t usually have. ‘It’s a shame they couldn’t make it.’
David looked up from his plate. ‘Who?’
‘Your friends,’ she said. ‘The ones from London. How long have you known them?’
He squeezed a dollop of ketchup onto his burger, then took a large bite. She thought he wasn’t going to answer but, after he’d swallowed, he smiled.
‘Not long. A couple of years maybe.’
‘What are their names?’
‘Their names? What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?’ He looked uncomfortable.
Beth looked down at her plate. ‘I’m sorry.’
She was beginning to sound just like her mum. Worse even, as she’d only just met the guy. If only she could explain to him that she’d give anything to have friends to share things with: jokes, clothes… secrets. A thing that could never happen with her mum always breathing down her neck. Asking her interminable questions. Where does she live? What do her parents do? Even if she knew their whole sodding life history, her mum wouldn’t be content. People were wary of her and who could blame them with a mum like hers.