Seed to Harvest

by Octavia E. Butler

  She was not playing. Abruptly, as a second man seized her, she thrust both away and got up. She was still naked, as dirty and bloody as the young girl. But she was beginning to understand that she was stronger. Perhaps she was not as strong as she would be. She thought not. But she was stronger than anyone would expect her to be—strong enough to escape. Even getting away naked would be better than staying here, having her organisms keep her alive while the car rats thought up new things to do to her.

  A black woman with red hair leveled one of the newer automatic rifles at her as she fought off a second attacker. When she saw the gun, she thought she was dead. But at that moment, she heard shouts through the open door.

  “Hey, Badger,” someone yelled, “the old man is gone. He kicked out his window!”

  “Huh!” the red-haired woman said. “Nobody could kick out one of these windows alone. He’d have to kick out half the wall. Somebody must have helped him!” And as an afterthought, “Where’s Smoke?”

  Her father was gone.

  He had escaped! He had used his new strength and gotten away! And what about Keira? Perhaps she had gotten away, too. People tended not to pay much attention to her because she looked too frail to try anything. But maybe …

  Rane lunged at the redhead. The woman’s attention had been drawn away from Rane. Now, she seemed to react in slow motion as Rane moved.

  Rane seized the gun, swatted the woman on the side of her head with the stock, then swung the gun around on the other car rats. Two-hundred-round magazine, fully loaded, set on automatic. A couple of seconds passed, then someone laughed. Maybe a naked girl holding a rifle looked funny. Let them laugh.

  Someone made a grab for the barrel. That was a degree of stupidity Rane had not expected. She fired, managed to shoot only the man whose hand had brought the gun to bear on his own belly. She resisted the urge to spray the whole group.

  The wounded man screamed, doubled over, fell to the floor. Rane stepped back from him quickly, looking to see whether anyone else was feeling suicidal. As it happened, no one else was armed. People did not come to this room with their guns.

  Nobody moved.

  “Get your clothes off,” Rane told one of the smaller women.

  The woman understood. She stripped quickly, threw her clothing to Rane, glanced sideways at the rat bleeding and groaning on the floor. The red-haired woman had knelt beside him, trying to stop the bleeding with direct pressure.

  “Get the hell out of here,” Rane said. “All of you, out!”

  They spilled through the doorway ahead of her and she followed close behind, hoping her speed would give her an edge over their numbers and organization. She barely paused to snatch up the discarded clothing. She could dress when she was safe, when she had joined her father and they were on their way to Needles again.

  She darted out the door, across the hall, across the large living room. She could see reaction around her, but it was so slow, she knew how fast she must be moving.

  But there was noise outside. Motors, vehicles approaching, people shouting. This was what she had distracted attention from. New car people arriving. New car rats on the outside where she had to go. They were already shooting, fighting with Eli’s people. More crossfire for her to be caught in.

  She put her back against the wall near the front door and aimed her gun at one of the car rats.

  “Open this door,” she said.

  “I can’t,” he lied. “It needs a special key.” It could not have been more obvious to her that he was lying if he had worn a sign.

  She fired a short burst, and he fell. Now the screaming inside her returned. She was shooting people, killing people. She was going to be a doctor someday. Doctors did not kill people; they helped people heal. Her father had carried a gun for years and never shot anyone. He had escaped without shooting anyone.

  But she could not.

  The instant she showed indecision, weakness, mercy, these people would cut her to pieces. In this room several were as formidably armed as she was. All she had going for her was terrifying speed and perhaps their belief that they would soon be rid of her one way or another without anyone playing hero. Nothing she had ever heard about rat packs gave any indication they were heroic. At best, they mistook ruthlessness for heroism.

  “Open the door,” she said to a second man.

  He stumbled quickly to obey.

  “You!” she chose a third. “Help him!”

  “He doesn’t need any hel—No!”

  She had come within a hair of shooting him. He scurried to the first man, then stood by while the first opened the door.

  Of course, the instant the door moved, Eli’s people opened fire at it. Someone—one of the new group of car rats, perhaps—managed to run onto the porch, but did not quite make it to the door.

  Rane heard all this as she ran from the room. She had never intended to step into the battle at the front of the house. She would never have headed for the front if she had known what was going on there. Once there, however, she had to create a diversion so that she could get to the back door.

  Someone shot at her as she ran, but she was too quick. In the kitchen, she stopped, turned, fired a short burst at the door she had just run through. That should stop any pursuit. She hesitated, saw a flash of color at the door, sprayed the doorway again. Then she went to the back door. If it required a key, she might be trapped. That depended on how thoroughly bulletproof the house was.

  Her hand flew over the various locks that did not require keys. She had to shoot the last one off, though at least it came off. As she fired, however, someone else fired at her, hit her in the lower back.

  She fell to her knees, tried to swing around, but was shot again. This time, the impact of the bullet spun her around. She held on to her rifle somehow and managed to spray the other side of the room. She heard screaming, knew she had hit something.

  She released the trigger only when, briefly, through a haze, she thought she saw her sister staring at her over a counter, through a doorway. Then, because she was propped up against the door, unable to move her legs—unable even to feel her legs, she sprayed the last of her bullets into the car rats as they showed themselves. She had the satisfaction of seeing the ape fall before someone shot her again.

  The disease organism was merciless. It kept her alive even when she knew she must be almost cut in half. It kept her conscious and aware of everything up through the moment someone stood over her, shouting, then seized her by the hair and held her head up as he began to saw slowly at her throat with something dull.

  Past 27

  THE WOMEN HAD BECOME frightened of Eli—frightened for their children. Gwyn’s daughter by Eli was beginning to toddle around on all fours and Lorene’s daughter by Zeriam clearly had the same physical abnormalities. She would be another quadruped, another precocious, strong, beautiful, little nonhuman. Eli could see that. He watched the children in grim silence.

  The women sat Eli down and talked to him. Gwyn spoke for them all for a change while Meda sat withdrawn and silent.

  “We don’t like being afraid of you,” Gwyn said, leaning forward against the dining table around which they had gathered. “We need you.” She glanced sideways at Meda. “And we love you. But we’re afraid.”

  “Afraid of what?” he demanded harshly. He did not care what the women had to say. His own misery over the children consumed him.

  “You know of what,” Gwyn said. “Even the kids know. They don’t understand, but they’re scared to death of you.”

  He stared at her in bitter anger. She had brought the others together against him. They had never united against him before. He was father or foster father to all three kids—all three hopelessly nonhuman kids. No one had the right to tell him how he should feel about them.

  “Eli, you love them,” Meda whispered finally. “You love them all. You’d have to go against your deepest feelings to hurt them.”

  “We won’t let you hurt them,” Lorene said.
r />   “We can’t change them,” Gwyn said. “And no matter how you feel … if you try to hurt them, we’ll kill you.”

  Eli stared at her, amazed. She was the gentlest of the three women, the one most likely to need reassurance and want protection.

  “We will kill you,” she repeated very softly. She did not flinch from his gaze. He looked at Meda and Lorene and saw Gwyn’s feelings mirrored in their faces.

  He reached across the table, took Gwyn’s hands. “I can’t help what I feel,” he said. “I know it hurts you. It hurts me. But—”

  “It scares us!”

  “I know.” He paused. “What in this world is going to happen to kids with human minds and four legs? Think about it!”

  “Who says they have human minds?” Meda asked.

  Eli glared at her.

  “They’re obviously bright,” she said, “but their minds may be as different as their bodies. We can teach them, but we can’t know ahead of time what they’ll become.”

  “No,” he said. “We can’t. But we know the world they’ll have to spend their lives in. And I know what their lives will be like if they can’t fit in—and, of course, there’s no way they can fit in. You think sewers and cesspools are bad? Try a cage. Bars, you know. Locks.”

  “Nobody would—”

  “Shit! They’re not going to be cute little kids forever. To other people, they wouldn’t look like cute little kids now. And we’re not going to live forever to protect them.”

  The women stared at him bleakly.

  “I’ll tell you something else,” he said. “These kids are only the first. You know there’ll be more. If anything happened to me, you’d go out and find yourselves another man or two. Hell, you’ll do that even if nothing happens to me. We’ll probably bring in more women, too. Our organism won’t let us ignore all those uninfected people out there completely.”

  No one contradicted him. The women could feel the truth of what he was saying as intensely as he could.

  “What are we doing?” Lorene whispered. “What are we creating?”

  Eli leaned back, eyes closed. “That’s what I’ve been asking myself,” he said. “I’ve got an answer now.”

  They all faced him, waiting. He realized then that he loved them. He wondered when he had begun to love them—three plain women with calluses on their hands. Answering them would not be an act of love, but it was necessary. If anyone deserved to know what he thought, they did. “We’re the future,” he said simply. “We’re the sporangia of the dominant life form of Proxi Two—the receptacles that produce the spores of that life form. If we survive, if our children survive, it will be because we fulfill our purpose—because we spread the organism.”

  “Spread the disease?” Lorene asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Deliberately? I mean … to everybody? After you said—”

  “I didn’t say we should spread it deliberately. I didn’t say we should spread it at all. I said we won’t survive, and the kids won’t survive, if we don’t. But I’ll tell you, I don’t think they or we are in any real danger. Once we knew what to look for on Proxi Two, we found the organisms in almost every animal species alive there. Some were immune—herbivores tended to be immune—and though I can’t prove it, I suspect a lot of species had been driven into extinction.”

  “Some would be here,” Lorene said. “Dogs.”

  Eli nodded. “Dogs, yes, maybe coyotes, wolves, any canine. I wouldn’t give much for the chances of cats either, and some snakes—maybe all snakes, rats, most rodents. Heaven knows what else.”

  “What about the people?” Lorene whispered. “They’ll die, too. Four out of seven died here. Five, if you count Gwyn’s baby. Ten out of fourteen in your crew died. And what about Andy? How many more Andy Zeriams, Eli?” She had begun to cry. “How goddamn many?”

  He got up and went to her. She pushed him away angrily at first, but then reached out and pulled him to her.

  “What about the people?” she repeated against him.

  After a moment, he put her aside and sat down next to Meda.

  “What do you want to do?” Meda asked.

  He shook his head. “Nothing. Just go on as we have.”

  “But—”

  “What else? You’re right about the kids. They are what they are. I’m right too. They can’t make it in the world as it is. But I’m not going to make a move to spread the disease beyond the ranch, here. Not even for them. We’ll have to bring people here now and then, but that’s all.”

  “You’re talking about leaving everything to chance,” Meda said.

  “No,” he told her, “not quite. I’m talking about stifling chance, doing every damn thing I can to keep the disease right here. Everything. And I’ll need all three of you with me.”

  “But the kids,” Meda said.

  “Yeah.” He sighed. “I couldn’t hurt them. Even without the three of you ganging up on me, I couldn’t have. But … in this one way, I can’t help them, either. Can you?” He looked from one of them to the other. No one answered. “What happens happens,” Eli continued. “I won’t make it happen. Dead people, dead animals, no more cities because we’d go crazy in cities. No more of a lot of things I probably haven’t even thought of.” He stared at the table for several seconds.

  “It will happen, though,” he said. “Sooner or later, somehow, it will happen. And ultimately, I’ll be responsible.”

  Present 28

  KEIRA HAD JUST EATEN a large meal—overcooked, overseasoned, but filling. She was feeling well until the white-haired girl came to take her to her father. She was feeling well! She could not remember how long it had been since she had last felt truly well.

  The car family had locked her in a walk-in hall closet. She had been in pain and Badger had demanded to know why. When she told him she had leukemia, he had shrugged.

  “So?” he had said. “There’s a cure for that—some kind of medicine that makes the bad cells turn back to normal.”

  “I’ve had that,” she told him. “It didn’t work.”

  “What do you mean, it didn’t work? It works. It worked on my mother. She had the same shit you do.”

  “It didn’t work on me.”

  So he had locked her in the closet. Some of his people, ignorant and fearful, could not quite believe her illness was not contagious. Badger locked her away from them for her own safety. She had seen for herself how eager they were to get her out of their sight. She wondered what they would do if they knew what she and her family had really given them—what they were really doomed to. They would begin to find out soon enough. That was what Eli was waiting for. That was why he was keeping them boxed in. He did not have to do anything more than that to win. She had heard him talking about explosives, but then the car family had begun showing a noisy movie and the faint voices from outside were drowned.

  Yet there were explosives. Eli would do anything necessary to stop the car people if they threatened to break free before they were ready to join him. He certainly would not let the friends they had called reach them. Keira did not know what would happen to her, but somehow she was not afraid. She sat on the closet floor with bound hands and feet, reading from cardboard boxes of old magazines. The lavish use of paper fascinated her. A one-hundred-and-twenty-page magazine for only five or six dollars. A collector’s item. Computer libraries like her father’s made more sense, occupied less space, could be more easily updated, but somehow, weren’t as much fun to look at.

  The light in the closet was dim, but Keira preferred it dim. She thought she might not be able to tolerate it if it were normally bright. She was looking through an old National Geographic when the white-haired girl opened the door.

  “Your father wants to see you,” the girl said in her low, throaty voice.

  Keira looked up from her magazine, stared at the girl, wondered what it might be like to be her—dirty, knowing, tough, headed nowhere, but still young and not bad-looking. The girl’s dark-tanned skin contrast
ed oddly with her white hair.

  “He might want to see my sister,” Keira said, “but I don’t think he wants to see me.”

  “You the one he had the fight with?” the girl asked.

  Keira did not hesitate. “Yes.”

  “Doesn’t matter. He just wants to see one of you to make sure we haven’t shot you. Come on.” She unfastened Keira’s hand and leg restraints.

  Keira started to refuse. She did not think the girl would force her. Then she realized that in spite of what had happened between them, she wanted to see her father—probably for the same reason he wanted to see her. Just to be sure he was all right. He had seemed so weak and sick when she saw him last. The organism seemed to be making her strong and him weak. That was all that had permitted her to get away from him when Rane made her realize what was happening.

  It occurred to her that as things stood now, each time she saw him might be the last. The thought frightened her and she tried to reject it, but it had taken hold.

  “All right,” she said, standing up.

  The girl watched her intently. “Is he really your father?”

  “Yes.”

  “Is he part black, then, or is it just your mother?”

  “My mother was black. He’s white.”

  The girl nodded. “My mother was from Sweden. God knows why she came here. Got raped her first week here. That’s where I came from.”

  Shocked, Keira spoke the first words that occurred to her. “But why didn’t she have an—” Keira stopped, glanced downward. There was something wrong with asking someone why she had not been aborted. She wondered why the girl would tell her such a secret, shameful thing.

  “She couldn’t make up her mind,” the girl said unperturbed. “She wanted to get rid of me, then she didn’t, then she wasn’t sure, then I was born and it was too late. She kept me ’til I was fourteen, though. Then she went nuts and when they took her away to cure her, I left.” The girl sighed. “After that, life was shit until I got adopted into the family. How old are you?”