Forever and Ever (Complete #1-7)

by E. L. Todd

  Cayson and Jasmine left early and walked out. I couldn’t help but wonder what they were going to do when they got home. When I imagined him kissing her, it made me uneasy. Was it because I saw him as a brother? As family?

  When he was gone, I realized he didn’t speak to me once.

  He didn’t even look at me.

  A week later I texted him. Hey. How’s it going?

  Cayson always responded in a heartbeat. Even if he was in class, he typed back a response. This time, three hours passed before he said anything. Good. You? It was short and to the point.

  You still owe me dinner.

  Twenty minutes went by before he responded. Maybe next weekend. I got a lot of stuff going on.

  Something wasn’t right. He was off. He’d been off for a while. Can we meet right now?

  Like, right this second?

  I need to talk to you.

  This time his response was immediate. Is everything okay?

  Yes, I’m fine. But I want to talk to you.

  Then another fifteen minutes went by. I’m in the library. I have a few minutes to spare—nothing more.

  A few minutes to spare? He used to have all the time in the world for me. I’ll be there in a second.

  K.

  I reached the library then moved to the corner where he usually sat. He was wearing a black jacket with a gray t-shirt underneath. He didn’t smile when he saw me. In fact, he looked annoyed.

  “Hey.” I sat across from him.

  “What’s up?” He flipped through the pages of his lab book. His voice sounded bored, hollow.

  What was going on? It was like we weren’t even friends anymore. “Can you at least look at me when you talk to me?”

  He stilled for a second. Then I noticed his left hand clenched into a fist. I’d known Cayson long enough to know when he was angry, and for some reason he was. He released his hand then met my gaze. “You have my full attention.”

  His eyes didn’t hold the same warmth they used to. It was like he loathed me, hated me. So much had changed and I had no idea what caused it. Did I offend him? Say something to hurt his feelings? I felt like I lost my best friend and I didn’t even know why. I controlled my emotions so I wouldn’t cry, wouldn’t expose myself to him. “Cayson, did I do something to piss you off?”

  “No.” His voice was hollow.

  “A few weeks ago you stormed out of my apartment without saying goodbye. Did I do something?”

  “No.” His eyes were guarded.

  “You didn’t even talk to me at game night last weekend.”

  “What are you talking about? I talked to everyone. We were sitting in a damn circle.”

  Damn circle? “Cayson, why are you different toward me? You keep saying I didn’t piss you off but I feel like we aren’t even friends anymore.” I was barely holding on, about to break.

  “Now that I have a girlfriend, I guess I don’t have all the time in the world to spend with you.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me about her? You tell me everything.”

  “My personal life isn’t any of your business.” The venom was heavy.

  What the hell was going on? It was like he was a different person. Now I was breaking apart. My best friend wasn’t even there anymore. Cayson loathed me for reasons I couldn’t understand. What did I do? What the hell happened? I couldn’t sit across from him a second longer. I stood up then hid my face. “I feel like I’ve lost my best friend.” I walked away without saying another word.

  When I was finally out of the library, I broke down into tears. The icy wind stung my face and burned my skin. I sniffed in the cold air, feeling my lungs hurt with every breath. Cayson was the person I relied on for everything, and he literally disappeared overnight. He didn’t exist. The last time I remember him was when we went to that conference. When we came home, everything was different.

  He was gone.

  11

  Cayson

  I knew I was being a dick to Skye but I couldn’t help it. The only way for me to get over her was to push her away. Believe me, hurting her hurt me. But this was the only way. If I babied her like I used to, I would make no progress. If I spent all my time with her, noticing the curve of her neck and the rosiness of her cheeks, I’d be in love with her forever. This was how it had to be.

  But I didn’t feel good about it.

  As the weeks went by, I focused on school. I didn’t hang out with the gang as much as I used to because I was avoiding Skye. I hung out with Slade and Conrad, hitting the gym and playing ball with them, but other than that, I avoided everyone. Jasmine came over often, sleeping at my place then leaving late in the morning.

  We’d been spending a lot of time together, and I was fond of her. But I didn’t feel anything more than that. That passionate and all-consuming love I felt for Skye hadn’t switched to Jasmine. I thought she was a beautiful girl and I enjoyed her company, but that was it. I didn’t feel anything.

  Maybe I just needed more time. Change couldn’t happen overnight. It took time and hard work. We went out to dinner and to the movies, doing things normal couples did. But sometimes I worried Jasmine would fall in love with me when I couldn’t reciprocate that emotion. The longer I was with her, the more I feared it would happen.

  Maybe everyone was only meant to have one real love and I already had mine. I fell in love with Skye and that feeling was unshakeable. Maybe I would never feel that way for someone else ever again.

  That sounded depressing.

  Jasmine lay beside me in bed, trickling her fingers down my chest. “I love your body. It’s so strong.”

  I turned and leaned over her, taking a nipple into my mouth. “I love your body. It’s perfect.”

  She moaned quietly while she felt me kiss her.

  I ran my tongue in the valley between her breasts then lay back down.

  “Skye is such an idiot. But I’m so glad she is.”

  I didn’t like talking about her, especially in bed. So I said nothing.

  Jasmine cuddled into my side, wrapping her body around mine.

  I wasn’t a big fan of cuddling but I didn’t mind doing it with her. I knew it was important to women to cuddle after sex so they didn’t feel used. I would do whatever she wanted to make her feel better.

  “Are you still in love with her?” she whispered. Desperation was in her voice.

  “Jasmine, I think I’ll always be in love with her. I wouldn’t waste your time hoping that will change.”

  Her fingers still stroked my chest. “Okay.”

  “I’m sorry. I really am.”

  “I know.” She fell silent, not saying another word.

  I went to the library the next day and found a table in the corner. My back faced a bookshelf and I pulled out my books. I didn’t like to wear headphones when I studied because it was too distracting. I preferred the echoing silence of the library. It was large enough to get lost in the sea of books. And if I were home, I’d probably watch TV or play video games and not get much schoolwork done.

  I was finishing my analytical chemistry lab report when I heard voices from behind me.

  “Did you ask her if you could spend Thanksgiving with her?” a guy said.

  Another man sighed. “I don’t see the point. She’s pretty adamant about not letting me meet her family.”

  I recognized that voice because I hated the owner of it so much. It was Zack.

  “She wouldn’t take me to this gala for her dad’s company even though I pretty much begged her to take me. Fucking annoying.”

  I wasn’t sure what Zack was talking about but I didn’t care. I opened my backpack and searched for my headphones. I’d rather listen to music than his voice.

  “I even dropped the L word to get her to take me. That bitch wouldn’t budge.”

  My hands stilled. Did he just say what I think he said?

  “That’s rough, man,” his friend said. “It’s sounds like she’s not really into you.”

  “She’s not,”
Zack said. “She tried breaking up with me twice but I persuaded her not to. But I’m running out of options. I just need to meet her parents and get her dad to like me. Then I can marry her then make sure there’s no pre-nup. Then I’m fucking set for life.”

  My hands shook as I listened to him. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Zack was using Skye for her money. That’s what his game had been the entire time. He never loved her. He never cared for her. He had the most amazing girl at his fingertips and he didn’t even give a damn. My hands shook.

  “And then one of her guy friends was trying to steal her for a while. The pussy finally backed off. It’s just getting harder and harder to keep her tied down. Sometimes I lose sight to why I’m doing this but I have to remember to keep going. I want half of everything from her. I never want to work and she’s my best way to secure that.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It was such a stab to the chest. My immediate instinct was to march over there and beat the shit out of him. But then reason took over.

  I pulled out my phone then hit the record button. Then slowly, I turned behind me then tucked the phone between two books, catching their conversation.

  “So, you don’t even like Skye?” the guy asked.

  “No. She’s fucking annoying. I mean, she’s good in bed and has amazing tits, but that’s it. If she would just swoon over me and cooperate I could get this done quicker.”

  “I’m sure her dad isn’t stupid. He would probably see right through your plan.”

  “No,” Zack argued. “I’d tell him I want to be lawyer and politician. I’m sure he would like a man that could take his self-interest into consideration for congress.”

  “And I’d doubt he’d let her marry you without a pre-nup.”

  “I could talk her out of it. She’s not bright.”

  It was getting harder and harder for me to listen to this.

  “So, are you still seeing Vanessa?”

  “Yeah. She hates this arrangement, but I keep reminding her that we’ll be filthy rich when this plan works.”

  “Just don’t get caught,” his friend said with a laugh.

  “Skye has no idea. She’s totally oblivious. Dumb girl.”

  I snatched my phone and ended the recording. I had everything I needed. Skye didn’t need to hear him rip her apart even more.

  I stared at my phone and sighed. I didn’t want to be the one to give this to her. I didn’t want to be the one to hurt her. She wasn’t in love with Zack, but I knew she would doubt her intelligence for not realizing what Zack was doing. Her confidence would be shaken, and she would be hurt.

  Why did I have to be the one to overhear the conversation?

  I sighed then grabbed my stuff. I headed the opposite way so Zack wouldn’t see me. He had no idea that his infuriating plan was about to fall apart. And when Skye told her dad what happened, he would make sure Zack never had a job for the rest of his life. He would make his existence so insufferable that death would be a desirable option.

  When I was outside, I sighed then texted Skye. Hey. I need to see you. We hadn’t spoken in weeks. Our last conversation didn’t end well. I was staying away from her, avoiding her at all costs. Our relationship wasn’t the same and our friendship was ruined. It made me sad because I missed her like crazy, but I had to put myself first. I couldn’t stand to feel this pain anymore.

  I’m at home.

  I was glad she didn’t argue with me. I wasn’t sure how she would respond based on our last conversation. I’ll be there in 5 mins.

  K.

  I walked to her apartment on the other side of campus then knocked on her door. I didn’t use my spare key because it felt odd. Stress was eating away at me while I stood there. I didn’t want to show her this recording. I didn’t want to hurt her.

  She opened the door, her eyes guarded. “Hey.”

  “Hey.” I stared at her, noticing the deep color of her blue eyes. The freckle in the corner of her mouth caught my attention. I remembered the last time I kissed it, the last time I melted.

  “Did you need something?” She didn’t let me inside like she used to.

  “I want to talk. Can I come in?”

  She stepped aside then closed the door behind me. Then she crossed her arms over her chest and faced me.

  I noticed she was thinner than the last time I saw her. I didn’t like that. Her body was perfect and she didn’t need to change a single thing. A lump caught in my throat when I looked at her. With a sigh, I pulled my phone out of my pocket. “I have something to tell you and I really don’t want to have this conversation.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it’s going to hurt you.”

  Her eyes flashed slightly. “Okay…”

  “I was in the library when I overheard Zack talking to a friend. Apparently, he’s only been dating you because he wants to marry you. And by marry, I mean secure his financial future. He’s been trying to meet your parents so he can get their approval to take your hand. Then he was going to refuse to sign a pre-nup so he could take half your assets and never work again.”

  She didn’t react as I said this.

  I pressed the play button on my phone and didn’t say another word.

  She stared at the ground as she listened to it. When the recording ended, she still didn’t react. Silence stretched for a long time. Her eyes were guarded and her lips were pressed tightly together.

  I wasn’t sure what to do.

  Then she sighed and covered her face with her hands. “I feel so stupid…”

  I put my hands in my pocket, standing across from her.

  “Now I know why he dropped the L word so randomly and so quickly. Now I know why he wanted to meet my parents so much. Now I know why…now I know.” She dropped her hands, revealing the coat of moisture in her eyes. “God, I’m so stupid.”

  “You aren’t stupid. He lied to you. Just because you trust someone doesn’t make you dumb. It makes him a fucking asshole.”

  She stepped away and turned around, walking slowly. She was wearing jeans and a purple sweater, my favorite color on her. Her long hair framed her shoulder, looking lustrous and silky.

  The emotion overtaking me, I pressed my chest to her back then wrapped my arms around her waist, holding her to me. “Skye, I’m sorry.”

  “I know, Cayson…”

  “He doesn’t deserve you. He never did.” I pressed my mouth close to her ear, feeling heat spark in my fingertips.

  “I can’t believe someone would do that…would trick me like that.”

  “He’s a piece of shit, Skye. Don’t let him tear you down.”

  She sighed, swallowing the lump in her throat. “He never showed any interest in me until we had a class together. When he heard my last name when the teacher took roll, that must have been when he decided to make his move.” She shook her head. “I’m such a sucker.”

  “Don’t blame yourself. Getting hurt by someone doesn’t make you weak. It makes you stronger because you aren’t going to let it tear you down.”

  She turned around, breaking my embrace. “Now I know why my father is the way he is. He never trusts anybody. He observes moments more than he participates in them. When he’s in public, he’s calculating and cold. Only when he’s behind closed doors with a security system does he thaw.”

  I saw the change deep within her eyes. I grabbed her hands, feeling them in mine. “Skye, don’t let him ruin you. I mean it.”

  “I’m not letting him ruin me. I’m letting him teach me.”

  I hated seeing the pain on her face. It was unbearable. “Don’t change who you are. You’re such a beautiful girl with a beautiful spirit. You’re kind, generous, and warm. Stay that way.”

  She closed her eyes and sighed, letting a tear escape.

  My heart stung just from watching it. I rested my hand on her cheek then wiped away the drop with the pad of my thumb. She breathed heavily when she felt me.

  “I miss you so much…” Another tear f
ell.

  The words went straight to my heart.

  “I miss this…I miss you.” She opened her eyes and looked at me, the coat of moisture shining in the light.

  I swallowed the lump in my throat, feeling the emotion move all the way to my stomach. “I miss you too.”

  She moved into my chest and wrapped her arms around my neck, hugging me. My hands moved around her waist, feeling her petite frame in my arms. She cried quietly, using my body as a crutch. Listening to her cry was unbearable. I tried to tune it out so I wouldn’t cry too.

  She cried for an hour, mourning her loss. I eventually moved her to the couch, lying with her. Her arm was around my waist and she kept her face buried in the crook of my neck. I rubbed her back, trying to calm her down. Eventually, her sobs turned into quiet tears. And then she fell asleep altogether.

  My phone vibrated in my pocket. I checked the message.

  Can I come over? It was Jasmine.

  I couldn’t leave Skye right now. I have plans. Maybe tomorrow.

  Okay. I miss you.

  I didn’t say anything back. I tossed my phone on the coffee table and returned my attention to Skye, listening to her breathe. I wished I could make this better. I wished I could do something to eliminate the pain. But in the back of my mind, I kept thinking one thing.

  If she were mine, she would never know pain.

  12

  Skye

  When I woke up the next morning, Cayson was still there. His face was close to mine and he was watching me. Judging the exhaustion in his eyes, he hadn’t slept all night.

  His hand pulled the hair out of my face gently, touching me like he had a hundred times. “Would you like some breakfast?”

  My voice came out coarse. “I’m not hungry.”

  “I can get you some coffee.”

  “No, I’m okay.”

  “Okay.” His hand moved to the back of my neck and rubbed me gently.